“I don’t know anything about that boy of theirs, Olivia, but the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I’m glad this thing is just you playing make believe dear, because he probably doesn’t have the grace that God gave a…”
“Enough!”
I stopped my pacing and turned to look at her and saw a pair of tired old eyes staring back at me. I might have surprised her but surprise was not what I saw looking back at me. I was looking at cagey, calculated understanding.
“He’s not like that. He’s not like that at all. Under ordinary circumstances, I might even…”
She tilted her head at me, waiting for it. And I wasn’t even sure I knew what I was ready to say.
“I mean his whole family—they don’t seem as bad as everyone has been making them out to be over the years. I’m starting to think everyone in this stupid town is just crazy, Nanny. Filling my head with all kinds of thoughts over the years.”
I was suddenly tired of wearing a groove in her kitchen floor and I turned to work on the floor in the living room. I wanted to leave her behind, but she was on me like flies on a rib roast. She was quicker than her years when she needed to be, and she needed to be now.
“You sure there isn’t something between the two of you, Livy?”
“No.”
“Are you sure? It sounds like there is.”
“There isn’t.”
“Then why are you upset about me calling him a jackass?”
“Because he’s not.”
The living room was suddenly too small, so I headed for her screen porch. I pushed the screen door open and was greeted with a chorus of croaking country toads as I settled onto her worn wicker chair. She was at the screen door before it even clanged against the door frame. A moment later, she was seated across from me, studying me carefully.
“What’s going on, Livy? You need to be honest with me. You need to tell me what’s going on.”
“Nothing is going on, Nanny, other than me trying to keep my head on straight in a town full of crazy.”
“Hogwash. You’re developing feelings for this boy, aren’t you?”
I thought about her question. I thought about Jonathon and his stupid tweed jacket at the bar. I thought about the way he smelled, and the way he needed to stoop down when he kissed me. I thought about the look on his face when he saw the ring on my finger at the jewelry store, and how I knew at that moment that he would have let me get the bigger ring if I really tried.
And then I lied to my Nanny.
“I don’t have feelings for Jonathon McCallister.”
It seemed easier to lie if I was saying his full name. But hearing his full name had almost made it a little harder. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter how I said it to my grandmother because she could see through my bullshit from a mile away.
“This is a dangerous game you’re playing, Olivia Hawthorne. A very dangerous game. If you allow this man to get into your heart you might end up stuck here forever.”
“Nanny…”
“I gave up believing a long time ago that there was a man with love in his heart anywhere in Madison County. You’re not going to convince me that he exists and his last name is McCallister. Take my advice, Livy, take it from someone who lived here for years in a loveless marriage. Fix this thing with your father and then don’t ever look back.”
“But Nanny…”
“In fact, don’t even wait, sweetheart. You can’t afford to take the chance. Leave. Get out of here while you still have the chance. Your father will be fine, he has your brother here to give him help if he needs it. Hop on the first bus you can and get out of this place, Olivia.”
“Nanny, stop. I’m not hopping on any bus and I’m not leaving Daddy in a lurch and I don’t have feelings for Jonathon McCallister.”
I had to look away from her as I finished that statement and I was sure that I wasn’t fooling either one of us.
“All I need to do is get past this dinner, Nanny. I’m going to need your help. But as long as I can get Daddy and Jonathon’s father happy in the same room together, I know I can finish this thing.”
Chapter 16
Jonathon
The parking lot was over half way full. I parked the Caddy at the end of the second row and realized it was the furthest away from the building that it had ever been before. I reasoned that there had to be a 4H Club meeting or a tractor pull or some other ungodly thing going on as I took off my seat belt and got out of the car.
Olivia was waiting for me outside, looking gorgeous as usual. She was wearing a dress. It was the first time I had seen her in anything other than jeans and a button down shirt. And it was a good look for her. Although I hadn’t seen a bad one yet.
“Jesus, place is busy tonight. Good thing you reserved that room, Liv.”
My fake fiancée smiled and offered me her hand and we pushed our way into the bar.
The place had the usual amount of people in it for a Friday night. There were maybe a dozen tables with couples seated having dinner. A few guys at the bar were watching a game on the TV. I realized as we walked down the length of the bar that the jukebox wasn’t even on. There wasn’t even music playing in the bar. But there was noise. There was noise coming from the banquet room on the other side of the double doors at the end of the bar.
I had never been in that room but I had seen enough to know what I expected. What I expected was the single long table that I usually saw, with our families seated on either side. She and I stopped outside the doors and I looked through the little window and what I saw was something else altogether.
There were two long tables fitted into the room. The tables by themselves made the room look small, but the crowd of people milling around them made it look smaller yet. I scanned the room and saw most of the people I had been expecting, but for every familiar face there seemed to be someone new.
There was a heavy lady sitting at the end of one table. She was wearing a floppy hat and had a red purse with big buckles on it.
“Who the hell is that?”
I whispered it into Olivia’s ear, which really wasn’t necessary because the noise inside the room seemed to drown out everything that was said outside the doors.
“That’s Aunt Millie.”
I was getting ready to hit her with a follow up question when I saw two guys who looked like they were in their twenties sitting on either side of Aunt Millie. The looked like a couple of unshaven bookends.
“Who the hell are they?”
“Those are the twins.”
The twins?
A dozen more questions popped into my head, but my eyes were still moving across the faces in the room. I saw my friend Bobby sitting at one table, trying hard to impress Olivia’s friend Cynthia. I was about to say something to Olivia and I saw my cousin Jeffrey sitting at the end of the other table with his wife. And she was holding a baby in her arms.
“What the fuck, Olivia? I thought this was just going to be a dinner with the family? This looks like a wedding rehearsal dinner.”
She leaned over to me and grabbed me by the hand. We were supposed to hold hands. That’s what engaged couples did.
“Don’t sweat it, Jonathon. It plays to our favor. Everyone is going to be in a good mood. Trust me, I got this.”
She turned from me and put her hand on the door, pushing her way into the noisy room. I followed her in and a hush came over the guests as everyone looked up to see us. I heard an ‘Aw’ from the mouth of one of my relatives and even heard one person start to clap in the back. I stood there, not knowing if I was supposed to make a speech or not, and Jimmy the bartender came along and saved my ass.
“Mr. and Mrs. McCallister?”
His voice was familiar but he wasn’t dressed in his bartender garb. He was dressed in a tie and jacket and he looked like he was thrilled about it.
“Right this way.”
Jimmy led us to the head of one of the tables and seated us between Bobby and Cynthia. I realized as we sat d
own that they had just unofficially become our maid of honor and best man. Which made sense. About as much sense as anything.
Jimmy left us and started refilling drinks. I could see our two fathers sitting at the head of the table opposite us. They weren’t speaking—yet. But they also had a big guy sitting between them. He had a beard and looked oddly familiar. I tapped my bride-to-be on the arm.
“That guy, sitting between our fathers. Is that who I think it is?”
“Yeah. Deputy Ratcliff. I told him you’d give him a hundred dollars if he just stayed through dinner.”
“Jesus, Olivia…”
“Just relax. I’ve got this…”
I relaxed. And I put my hand on her thigh under the table. And I watched the odd mix of family members talking in the room. I ate my salad and I drank the beer that Jimmy brought me and I actually started to think we would pull this thing off. Olivia patted my hand under the table and got up to start working the room.
She had the grace of Audrey Hepburn. And she was working the crowd like a political debutante. I watched in awe as she introduced herself to Cousin Jeffrey and I started to think we could actually make this thing work. I was half way through my salad, watching her as she moved onto speak to my grandmother. No doubt thanking her for the tea…
“Jonathon, we’ve heard so many nice things about you.”
Aunt Millie, shouting from the other end of the table. I waved and stood up and walked the length of the table to speak to her. I couldn’t imagine she had heard that many good things about me. I was a McCallister and she was on the Hawthorne side of the fence. But I started talking to her and she was as sweet as can be and it started to seem like this was going to be easy.
Almost too easy…
She introduced me to the twins. One of them was taking accounting classes at the local community college so he naturally started talking to me about that. Nanny Hawthorne walked by and patted me on the head and I watched her sit to speak to my grandmother. But the entire time I was speaking to them, I was watching Olivia. My gorgeous, fake bride-to-be, as she moved gracefully from guest to guest.
She had worked her way to the head of the table where our fathers were and she was kneeling in between the two of them to speak. Deputy Ratcliff had taken the clue and scooted his chair back a foot or two and she was engaging both of our dads in conversation. She said something that was funny and I watched as my old man laughed.
Nice. Smooth move, honey…
I was no psychologist but I could tell from their body language that each man was relaxing. Jimmy flitted over and put down a fresh beer in front of Olivia’s dad and a glass of wine in front of mine and the room seemed to get a degree or two warmer. A member of the wait staff—Huddy’s had a wait staff?—appeared with a tray of dinners and people started trickling back to their seats. I thanked Aunt Millie for a lovely conversation and retreated back to sit next to Olivia.
A waiter pushed a plate of prime rib in front of me but I wasn’t looking at it. I was looking at Olivia, who was smiling at me. It was the smile of triumph. She had this thing locked up. I leaned over to her and whispered in her ear.
“Watch this.”
I grabbed my beer and stood. The room was starting to get heavy with the sound of silverware, but was silent as I raised my bottle into the air.
“Olivia and I just wanted to thank you all for coming tonight.”
That was it. I didn’t want to overplay my hand. I raised my bottle in the air and the room was suddenly filled with the noise of clinking glass. Beer bottles and wine glasses were being tapped together across two long, folding banquet tables, and I suddenly had the confidence of a young Cary Grant. And I knew just what the audience wanted.
I sat back down and turned to Olivia and leaned over and planted one on her. It wasn’t a tongue kiss. I was classy. It took her by surprise, but she was no fool and she leaned back into it. Suddenly the sound of clinking glasses was replaced with ‘Oohs’ and ‘Aahs’ from our guests.
I wrapped up the kiss and put my hand back on her thigh under the table. The kiss was for the audience, but her thigh was for me. I paused a moment before looking at the head of the table because I didn’t want to be too obvious. But as our guests started to carry on I slowly started stroking the supple leg of my bride.
Olivia’s father was looking at me as our guests were starting to cut into overpriced prime rib. My heart stopped for a second, but he nodded his head and I saw the corners of his mouth lift up. It was a smile. He was smiling at me. I knew we did it. We had this thing won.
I turned to his daughter, who was playing with the broccoli on her plate. I nodded at her and she knew exactly what I was thinking. She reached into her purse on the table and pulled out the Legalbanana document. No words were spoken between us. I gripped her on the thigh and watched her as she rose.
I watched her as she skirted the edge of the table. Both our fathers were chewing and laughing together. Jimmy just topped off my dad’s wine glass. It was perfect. They were lined up perfectly for the kill shot and Olivia was moving stealthily to get ready to take it.
It was getting harder for me to hear anything else in the room. I could practically feel my heart beating out of my chest and even that was drowned out by the rabble of table conversation. But I heard it in the parking lot. It was the sound of squealing tires and gravel kicking against the side of the building. And it was just enough to cause me to look out the banquet room window.
The person who was parking in a hurry took the only spot left by the building. There was a blue sign on the post with a picture of a wheelchair that told every patron who approached that it was a handicapped spot. The car skidded into the open spot, and I knew before the car door opened that the driver wasn’t handicapped.
Not by a long shot…
The car was a yellow Camaro, and I knew it better than I wanted to because I knew its driver. The driver’s door opened and I saw the spiked high heel hit the asphalt, and I immediately felt a knot starting to form in my stomach. She slammed the car door in a way that made it obvious to anyone who was watching that she wasn’t here for the buffalo wings. I watched her spin on her stilettos and her blond hair swished as she made her way towards the door.
There was no mistaking her. I could have recognized her from three miles away.
She was the rose of the county.
She had been the hellfire of Clark High.
And her name was Carla Jean.
Chapter 17
Olivia
“What are your taxes like on that property of yours up in Clark County, McCallister?”
I was five steps away from the two of them. I knew my father well enough to know that he had enough beer to have loosened up. And so far, everything was going according to plan. They were getting along. Everything looked just fine. The only thing that would make it better would be getting both of their signatures on the paper in my hand.
“It’s not any better over in Clark, believe me, Bill. Goddamn government is killing me up there. And I don’t have a damn thing to show for it. Makes me wish my grandfather had gotten into oil instead of wheat.”
This hit Daddy’s funny bone for some reason and he threw back his head and laughed. He slapped Jonathon’s father on the back so hard I thought he was going to spit up his wine. But he took the blow like a champ. My father cut his laugh short and straightened himself back up.
“You’re OK, McCallister. Us farmers, we need to stick together. I probably spoke out of turn in that courthouse. Lord knows I have a way of letting my temper get the better of me.”
Daddy put a hand on his suspenders and took a sip from his beer while Jonathon’s father returned the compliment.
“That’s OK, Bill. My blood has a tendency to run hot too. Can’t really blame either one of us, seeing as it concerns our kids too.”
Daddy nodded his head and Jonathon’s father took a sip of his wine and everything was just peachy. If I waited any longer I might be able to break up a hu
g, but I was ready to put an end to this thing.
I looked at them. I looked at Jonathon, who still had a perpetual look of panic on his face. I had been biding my time, but I knew it was never going to get any better than this. Deputy Ratcliff saw me coming and yielded his position as I slid in between the two of them.
“You two really need to just settle this thing now. For us. For Jonathon and I. And for the two of you. It’s the right thing to do. I’ve got that document with me—the one I brought to the courthouse last time. Jonathon and I have each gone over it. It’s the fairest way to settle this thing.”
I pushed my father’s beer bottle aside and put the paper in front of him. I knew he wasn’t going to look at it all that carefully because he trusted that I had done that for him already. This wasn’t about scrutinizing a legal document. This was about settling the feud with the man sitting next to him.
My father glanced at the document because that was the thing he was supposed to do. The air was heavy with the sounds of silverware on porcelain and I realized that I was holding my breath. It seemed like twenty minutes must have passed but I knew it was only seconds. And then he nodded his head and started to root in his pocket for a pen.
“She’s right, McCallister. It’s the right thing to do.”
Jonathon’s father nodded his head and chased the nod with a sip of his wine. My father was still hunting for a pen and I gave him the gold pen I had been hiding in my hand. He started to sign but the pen wasn’t giving up its ink and I watched him as he lifted it off the paper and started to shake it. One shake. Two shakes. Blue ink appeared on the little ball at the end of the gold chamber and he started to lower pen back to paper…
“Wait!”
The voice was shrill and cut through the room like a knife. All sound ceased except for the soft sounds of crying as Cousin Jeffrey’s baby was suddenly woken from its nap.
“Don’t you see what she’s doing?”
Dirty Neighbor Page 10
