by Rhian Cahill
You should really REALLY think about the way you felt when you thought something had happened to West.
Kelsey didn’t want to contemplate her stomach-squeezing reaction to Shaye’s first text. She knew her friend was right though. Knew she needed to sort out what was going on with her and West. To say she was terrified was an understatement. The man had the power to destroy her, and he didn’t even have a clue.
Regardless of her reluctance to see or talk to him, there was no denying the urge to check everything was okay—check he was okay. He might need help organising repairs on the damaged kitchen. She could help him coordinate the clean up and refit. Or she could supervise the rebuild while he got on with the everyday necessities of running Weston’s Catering.
Flimsy excuses be damned. She wouldn’t rest easy until she knew West didn’t need her. It only took her a second to call him, but when his phone rang out and diverted to voicemail, Kelsey’s earlier panic returned tenfold. She jumped to her feet and was across the room grabbing her keys and purse from the hall table on her way out the door before she thought about it.
Traffic was brutal. Then again, she didn’t expect anything less at this hour of the day. Kelsey navigated peak hour—why it was referred to as an hour when the snarl of Sydney traffic lasted for at least five was beyond her—with little patience and a good amount of swearing as she headed to Are You Game? She soon discovered the place was locked up tight. Next, she drove a few minutes down the road to Weston’s. The car park was full, but a quick scan of the vehicles told her West’s four-wheel drive wasn’t one of them. Pulling out her phone, she tried calling him again. This time, he answered on the first ring.
“Hey.” He sounded tired, worn out in a way she hadn’t heard before.
“Where are you?” she asked, her panic causing her voice to wobble.
“At home. Why?”
“I heard what happened.”
“The group grapevine’s alive and well I see.”
“Do you need me to do anything?”
“Kelsey, what I need from you you’re not willing to give.”
“I, um…” Brakes squealed and a car blasted its horn, making her yelp.
“Are you driving?” West asked.
“No. I’m parked outside of Weston’s.” Kelsey wasn’t sure she wanted to admit to her frantic search, except now she didn’t really have a choice. She’d already revealed her whereabouts. “I was looking for you. You didn’t answer your phone when I called before. I was worried.”
“Kels,” he sighed her name.
She could picture him frowning and rubbing his forehead like he did when something frustrated him. Until now, she hadn’t admitted to anything that might overstep the friend’s line. Her actions certainly spoke for her, but verbally she’d remained mute, even denied and fought against their connection. She’d been fighting a losing battle. One she’d been waging with herself for what seemed like forever. “Can I come over?”
“Careful. I might get the wrong idea.”
He was right. It was irrational in the face of everything she’d said and thought, but she had to see him. Although he sounded tired, Kelsey had no doubt he was okay. Only she still couldn’t shake the need to see with her own eyes. “Please.”
There was a long silence before he sighed heavily into the phone. “No.”
“No?” Her voice came out a croak as her throat closed up tight and her heart thudded inside her chest.
“I can’t do it. I’ve got a lot of work to do if I’m going to keep Weston’s from losing business in the next few weeks. I don’t have the energy to fight with you too.”
“Fight? What do you mean fight?” They were fighting?
West laughed, but the sound failed to convey any joy, just the opposite, and Kelsey’s stomach felt hollowed out.
“Then let me help keep Weston’s on track,” she all but pleaded.
“You will be. Monday morning in the office.”
“But surely there’s something I can do now.”
“Go home, Kelsey. If I need you before Monday, I’ll call.”
“But—”
“Night. Drive safe.” He hung up before she could argue further.
“Fuck.” She tossed her phone on the passenger seat. It bounced off the cushion, hit the dash and dropped to the floor with a thump. Not unlike her heart. He’d rejected her. This was exactly the reason she should never have gotten involved with him again.
West shoved his fingers through his hair and hoped he was strong enough to stick to his guns and that Kelsey wouldn’t ignore his refusal to see her. He’d almost given in. When she’d uttered please in that whispery tone she used when they were tangling the sheets, his body had let him know instantly that it approved of her coming over. If she turned up on his doorstep against his wishes…well, his mind’s wishes, his cock was all for a visit from Kelsey. The damn thing was rock hard and ready to go just from hearing her voice.
But he had to ignore his libido if he wanted to reach his end goal—Kelsey in his life on a permanent basis. And he wasn’t referring to her role as his office manager. Getting her back into bed wouldn’t be all that hard now that they’d fallen there. He knew neither of them could really fight their attraction after they’d spectacularly proven their chemistry was just as explosive as he remembered it being when they were teenagers.
He scrubbed a hand over his face and took a deep breath. There wasn’t time to be rehashing the latest in the go-stop saga that was his and Kelsey’s relationship. He’d brought home the schedules, list of venues and employee rosters for Are You Game? and Weston’s. The kitchen he’d secured the use of was an hour away from Weston’s, so he’d have to factor in the extra travel time for staff as well as delivery of product.
“Fuck.” He had so much to do, and he wanted it done now. Wanted everything ironed out so his business would run smoothly. West pushed back his chair and headed for the kitchen and a cold beer. He’d allow himself one to take the edge off his crazy day. Maybe it would trick his blood pressure into thinking it was the weekend and he could relax. Every muscle was currently vying for the title of first to snap.
Lights flickered across the living room wall. Because of the position of his house on the block, the only way headlights could hit that particular wall would be if someone had pulled into his driveway. If he thought his body felt strung tight before, it was nothing compared to now. Detouring into the front room, he headed for the window. He stood off to the side in the hope of not being seen by whoever had come over. West shook his head. He didn’t need to look to know who’d come calling.
Kelsey.
When West looked out the window, he saw her lights were switched off and he couldn’t hear the engine and its irregular timing, but Kels hadn’t gotten out yet. Her hands clenched the steering wheel at the very top, snug together, while her forehead rested on the back of them. West was conflicted. He didn’t know whether to go out to her or stay where he was. He’d asked her not to come because he knew if he saw her he’d give in to his need to be with her and settle for whatever little scrap of herself she’d offer him.
Before he could make a decision either way, she moved. Jumping back out of view, he held his breath. She wouldn’t see him, but now he couldn’t see her either. He remained motionless for what felt like an eternity until an unusual ringing snapped him out of his frozen state. Glancing in the direction of the noise, West saw his phone vibrating on the dining room table. He quickly walked over to see what the hell it was buzzing for.
The phone was new and he was still getting used to the different ringtones and sounds it made. When he picked up the device, he discovered the reason for his confusion. Somebody was trying to video call him.
Kelsey.
West slid his thumb across the screen to accept. He debated what to say while the call connected. Her shadowed face appeared. Even in the da
rk, she took his breath. She was smoking hot, there was no denying that, but what was it about Kelsey that grabbed him by the balls—by the heart—and squeezed? He’d certainly seen prettier women—dated some even. None of them, in his opinion, held a candle to Kels.
“I’m sorry.” Her murmured words snapped him out of his thoughts.
“For?”
“For not doing as you wanted.”
“Which time?”
“I couldn’t stay away. I’m in your driveway.”
“I know.” He sighed. There was no point lying. If he wanted her to be open and honest, he needed to do the same. “I saw your lights when you pulled up.”
“I just wanted to see you’re okay.”
“You’re seeing me now.” Not that she’d actually made eye contact since the call had connected, which seemed impossible when her face and his filled their screens.
“I know…I just…”
“Just what?” West went back to the window and pushed the blind aside so he could see her sitting in her car. “What are you doing here? And don’t rush to answer. Think about it for a minute.”
He’d let her think on it while he went and unlocked the front door. He didn’t try to disguise his movements. West wanted her to hear the lock disengage. The sound of her sucking in a deep breath echoed through the house, and he knew she didn’t have any real idea—or was choosing to ignore it—about why she’d come. With everything he had, he wanted to go out there and get her. Pull her inside and tell her to look at him and tell him she didn’t feel it. But he knew he couldn’t.
She had to come to him.
“Kelsey?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do.” He moved deeper into the house, away from the door—away from temptation. “You have to be brave enough.”
“I’m sorry. So sorry.”
“You keep saying that, but I have no idea what you’re sorry for.” West lowered himself onto his bed. He hadn’t switched on the light, keeping himself in the dark deliberately.
“For everything. For not being enough. For Bry.”
“You’re more than enough.”
“Then why did you never say anything? Why didn’t you come after me?”
“Aw, Kels.” He flopped back on the bed and stared into the darkness. “We were just kids. And I was stupid. So fucking stupid. By the time I pulled my head out of my ass you’d moved on.”
“I never moved on.” Her sharp gasp filled the room. “I didn’t mean that. That’s not what I meant to say.”
West was on his feet and heading for the door. “You wouldn’t have said it if there wasn’t a kernel of truth in there.” He was halfway to the front door when she stopped him.
“Don’t come out! Please.”
He froze in place and dragged a deep breath in through his nose. Holding it, he counted to five and then let it out slowly. “Talk to me.”
“You ignored me. I thought I’d done something wrong.”
“Jesus—”
“No. Let me finish before you say anything.”
“Okay.” It was killing him not to have this conversation face to face. This stupid video call thing didn’t count.
“You always made me feel too much. Good and bad. So when it went bad, it hurt so fucking much and I couldn’t talk to anyone. We agreed we wouldn’t. Then there was Bry. So easy. So simple. And he didn’t make me feel so…open—so raw—when I looked at him. God.” She sucked in a breath. “I promised I’d never let anyone hurt me like that again, West. I promised.”
“Come inside.”
“No. I can’t. Not now.” She sniffed, and it killed him to know he’d done that to her. Again. “I should go.”
“No. Just come in. No strings. It doesn’t mean anything more than one friend comforting another.”
“We’re not friends. We crossed that bridge years ago.”
He got what she was saying, but whether they were physically intimate or not didn’t mean a fucking thing. She was still one of his closest friends, and he’d done the one thing he’d told himself he wouldn’t. He’d hurt her.
Disregarding her instructions, he jogged out of the house and to her car before she realised he was coming. He flung her door open and reached in to unbuckle her belt, but she must have done it sometime after she’d arrived. With actions a little on the rough side, West pulled Kelsey from her car and wrapped his arms around her. She buried her head beneath his chin and slid her arms around his waist.
West couldn’t say how long they stayed that way. How long she let him hold her close. How long she clung to him in return. But she finally pulled free of his embrace and took a step away, wiping her hands across her cheeks.
“I should go.”
“I never meant to hurt you. Now or then.”
Her gaze connected with his.
“I had no idea what I was doing. What I was walking away from.” He had to make her understand that he regretted what had happen between them. “I’d go back and fix it if I could.”
Kelsey gave a nod but didn’t say a word. She turned towards her car.
West followed her, moved closer. “We’re not done.”
She threw a half-smile his way. “I know. But I need to go.”
“Call me when you get home. Let me know you’re safe.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, lingered along her jawbone. “It was never that you weren’t enough, Kels. You were always too much.”
Neither of them said another word as she got back in her car and closed the door. He waited until she’d started the engine and backed out of the driveway before he raised his hand to wave. Then he waited until her taillights were just a memory in the night before he went back inside.
Chapter Twelve
Kelsey sat trapped in the corner. On her left were Coop, Joe and Nick, the empty chair belonged to James, who’d gone to the bar for another round of drinks. Shaye, Mel and Nikki completed their group on her right. There was no way she could get out except under. And crawling on the floor just didn’t seem dignified no matter how badly Kelsey wanted to leave. She had no doubt Shaye had planned it that way. Her friend hadn’t wanted Kelsey to have an easy escape.
It had taken Shaye over an hour to nag her into coming, and Kelsey still wasn’t sure why she’d agreed. She’d spent a sleepless night after her discussion with West, and she felt as though she’d taken to her insides with a grater. She was raw and bleeding and she couldn’t work out why or how to make the feeling go away. The group talked around her and Kelsey nodded on occasion to appear as though she were listening and involved, only she wasn’t. Not until Nick said her name and she was forced to pay attention.
“Hey, Kelsey, I hear you’ve taken on managing Weston’s,” Nick shouted over the others who were having an animated discussion about what heinous thing to do to Shaye’s ex-boss.
Kelsey smiled and nodded as she lifted her glass to her mouth. West was definitely a subject she wanted to talk about as little as possible.
“When are you two going to come out?” Mel asked.
“Out?” Kelsey arched one eyebrow.
“Yeah. It’s not like you guys can keep it hidden now that you’ll be working together every day,” Nikki added.
Kelsey shook her head. “I don’t get what you mean. Keep what hidden?”
“I’ll translate,” Coop said. “They’re asking when you and West are going to admit that you’re a couple.”
Cold water filled the back of her nose as Kelsey choked on the mouthful she’d just swallowed. “What?” She coughed and reached for a napkin.
Shaye patted her back while a big smile stretched her lips. “There, there, sweetie.”
“But I thought…” Nikki murmured.
“Oh, you’re not wrong,” Shaye said. “Kelsey’s in denial though.”
“How can you
deny it?” Mel asked. “You’re either with someone or you’re not. For instance, you’re not with Bry anymore because you got divorced.”
Kelsey’s gaze darted from one friend to another. They all stared at her with varying expressions—from curious to surprise to smug—the last being Shaye of course. She sent her so-called best friend a dirty look. “We’re not together. I don’t even know where you got the idea from.”
“The sparks,” Nikki said. Beside her, Mel nodded and Shaye just had a smug try-to-deny-it-now look on her face.
“You and West always did have chemistry.” Joe shook his head. “Never could understand how you ended up with Bry when you and West could light up a room.”
“Who and West?” James asked as he put a tray of drinks on their table. “What have I missed?”
“Nothing.” Shaye poked a finger in Kelsey’s ribs. “Kelsey is remaining mum on the subject of her and West.”
“Kelsey and West? But aren’t you getting back together with Bry?” James asked, his forehead wrinkling in confusion.
“What? No!” Kelsey had no idea where all this talk was coming from. No one but Shaye knew something was going on between her and West, and even she wasn’t privy to any details. As for her and Bry…where would James get that from?
“You’re getting back with Bry?” Coop leaned in close and lowered his voice. “Does West know?”
She turned to Coop and whispered, “There’s nothing to know.”
He studied her a few moments before nodding. “Good. I’d hate for you to make the same mistake twice.”
Kelsey gasped.
Coop leaned closer, his lips right next to her ear. “We both know you never should have married Bry.” He smiled as he pulled away but it did nothing to calm the unease churning in Kelsey’s stomach.
Instead of questioning Coop further, Kelsey focused on James and what he’d said about Bry. She needed to squash that particular kind of gossip before it went any further. “James, why would you think I’m getting back with Bry?”
