‘I hope you’re not doing this just for attention,’ Alice said loudly, entering the room. She stopped suddenly when she saw Hattie lying in bed.
Her face was devoid of any colour at all and Alice had to blink several times to convince herself that what she was looking at was, in fact, real. There was a tube in Hattie’s nose and her left shoulder, exposed by the less than adequate hospital gown, showed blood and extensive bruising.
‘Stop staring, Alice Pond, and come closer so I don’t have to shout.’ Though she was clearly trying to muster her usual force, Hattie was in a weakened state, and it shocked Alice.
‘That’s better,’ Hattie said when Alice reached her bedside. ‘Grab that pen and paper,’ she grimaced, pointing to the small table next to the bed. ‘I need you to take care of some things for the show.’
‘Forget the show.’
‘I’ll do no such thing. This is far too important to let a silly little thing like a fall get in the way.’
Alice stepped closer, ignoring Hattie’s glare.
‘What are you doing, child?’
Alice smiled. ‘I’m checking on my friend.’
‘Nonsense. I’m perfectly fine.’
Taking Hattie’s hand gently, Alice could see her fight back tears. ‘So,’ she said, ‘I guess you’ll be needing that walking stick for something other than scaring the rest of us now.’
Hattie chuckled softly.
‘What have the doctors said?’ Alice wasn’t sure Hattie would tell her the truth.
‘They said I’m a silly old cow who shouldn’t be trying to hang a new lampshade from the ceiling on my own.’
‘Hattie, you didn’t!’
‘Of course I did. When have I ever needed any help with anything?’
‘But Hattie . . .’
‘Don’t “but Hattie” me. All this fuss and nonsense. I fell. They’re patching me up. No permanent damage. Except perhaps to my pride.’
‘No permanent damage?’
Hattie shook her head. ‘Arm’s bruised, but that will recover. The leg will take a bit longer to heal,’ she rubbed her left leg softly. ‘Takes more than a fall to keep this old girl down.’
Alice smiled. Despite Hattie’s best efforts, Alice could see through her bravado plain as day. It was in her eyes: Hattie was scared. And it wasn’t just the fall. Genevieve had only been in her fifties when she fell all those years ago and she’d never recovered properly. Before she was sixty she was in Kookaburra Cottage. By sixty-five, her mind was almost completely gone. Hattie was about to turn seventy-six – surely thoughts of her younger sister were foremost in her mind.
‘What can I do for you, Hattie?’ Alice knew the best way to help would be to keep Hattie focused on the practical tasks.
‘Well,’ Hattie began. ‘We must forge ahead. No time to waste. The show must go on.’
By the time Alice got back to the café, Becca had closed up and the lights were off. On the little wooden jetty sat a familiar figure and his dog; a sight that offered Alice some relief.
‘You still here?’ she asked as she sat beside Joey.
Shadow pushed his snout under her arm, but she ignored the old dog.
‘Wait,’ Joey commanded, and Shadow limped to the end of the jetty and sat.
‘How is she?’ Joey asked, his brow furrowed.
‘Bossing the staff around.’ Alice smiled.
‘That’s a good sign.’
‘She’s pretty beat up, but looks like she’ll be all right.’ Alice’s voice began to crack. ‘You know how tough she —’
Joey put his arm around Alice’s shoulder as she broke off. He held her tightly to him, stroking the back of her head.
‘Just the thought of anything happening to her.’ Alice looked up into his eyes.
‘I know.’ He squeezed her. ‘I know. But a fall isn’t going to stop that woman.’
Alice lay her head on his shoulder. Her one constant rock, through all these years. She breathed in his smell of bread and sweat, felt the comfort of his embrace.
‘Are you okay?’
Alice nodded.
‘I’d better go,’ he said, gently releasing his hold. ‘Early start.’ He helped Alice to her feet.
‘Thank you,’ she whispered, placing her hand on his chest.
Joey stepped back. ‘I’ll check in with her tomorrow.’
‘Sure.’ Alice nodded and he started to leave. ‘Joey?’
He stopped and turned.
‘I don’t like to ask, but I think maybe I need your help.’
‘I don’t think you’ve ever come straight out and asked for my help before. Must be serious.’
‘Not serious. But important.’
‘Anything.’
‘It’s to do with the show.’
‘Oh. In that case, almost anything.’ He flashed his crooked smile.
‘Hattie swears she’ll be fine for the performance, but we’ve only got two weeks left. We have to keep up the rehearsals, and I don’t know if I can do it on my own.’
Joey stepped forward. ‘You don’t have to do it on your own, Alice. You don’t have to do anything on your own. You have the whole town behind you.’
Alice nodded.
‘And you have me. Whatever it takes. Whatever you need. You’ve always got me.’
‘Thank you.’
Problem was, that wasn’t quite true. She didn’t have him. Sure, he’d help with the show and probably anything else she asked. But Alice had seen with her own eyes how close he and Fiona had become.
She watched him walk along the edge of the creek, his broad silhouette melting into the night with each long stride.
All these years he’d been there for her, through joy and pain. All those chances they’d had that she was too scared to take. Too wounded to take. And now with the plight of the café, Hattie’s fall, Becca depending on her, and all their history weighing on her, her life was thrust sharply into perspective.
Alice finally understood just how much she wanted to be with Joey, and it was too late.
Kookaburra Creek, 2004
lice doubled over in pain, clutching her belly.
‘Alice, what’s the matter?’
‘Oh . . . my . . . argh.’ The pain passed and she stood upright again to see Hattie smiling. ‘What?’ she managed to ask between deep breaths.
Hattie pointed to the puddle of water Alice was standing in.
‘It’s time.’ Hattie’s grin widened.
‘Time? What? No, it’s not. I’ve still got . . . but.’
‘My dear girl. Babies have a habit of coming when they’re good and ready, not when it suits us. It would appear this little one is good and ready.’
‘Now?’
‘Yes. Let’s get you over to Glensdale, shall we?’
‘But I’m not . . . but . . .’
*
Alice screamed. It was like someone was cutting her open from inside.
‘Breathe.’ A voice floated to her from somewhere across the room.
‘I am breathing! What do you think I’m doing?’
The pain, if it could even be called that, surely there was a stronger word. Yes. Torture. The abject torture subsided and Alice threw her head back on the pillow.
‘Sorry,’ she said through sobs, looking at the poor midwife she’d yelled at.
‘Think nothing of it,’ said the midwife. ‘We’ve seen and heard it all before.’
‘How much longer?’ Alice sighed.
‘We’re well on our way now. In fact, I think I’ll go grab the doctor.’
‘I can’t do this.’ Alice turned to Hattie, who hadn’t let go of her hand since she was admitted, no matter how hard Alice squeezed it.
‘Yes, you can. You’ve done a sterling job so far and we’re almost there.’
‘I can’t.’ Alice’s tears welled up again.
‘You can. We’ll all be here to help you.’
Alice looked into Hattie’s grey eyes. Thank God she had Hattie.
&
nbsp; ‘I think it’s probably time we pushed,’ the doctor said, entering the room.
‘We?’ Alice found the particular pronoun used amusing.
‘We.’ Hattie squeezed her hand.
‘One more push,’ Alice heard someone say, but she couldn’t. No more. She’d had enough. It was three in the morning and the darn baby could stay right where it was. She didn’t care. In fact, she couldn’t care less if the earth opened up and swallowed her whole right then and there. She wished it would. Then it would all be over.
‘Miss Pond?’
Alice closed her eyes, hoping they would all disappear.
‘Alice. One more push and your beautiful baby will be here.’
No. Not today, Alice decided. She forced her mind out of the hospital and let it float back to her ironbark. She just wanted to sit in its branches and rest. Maybe come back tomorrow and finish this off. Maybe.
Hattie squeezed Alice’s hand. ‘Come on now, petal. Last one.’
Alice felt a surge she couldn’t ignore and opened her eyes. She looked at Hattie and she bore down. She pushed harder than she ever knew was possible.
Then she heard it: cries coming from the end of the bed.
‘Congratulations, Alice. It’s a girl.’
It felt like forever before they put her baby in her arms and yet when they did it was far too soon. She wasn’t ready for this. For this tiny little life. How could something so small cause so much pain? And what was she supposed to do with it now?
She held her baby in her arms, looking down at the strange creature.
‘Oh, she’s adorable,’ Hattie cooed. ‘Do you have a name picked out? I hear Harriett is becoming popular again.’
That was the one part of this whole mess Alice was certain about. She’d known from the day she found out she was pregnant what she’d call her baby if it was a girl. The name her mum had always loved. She’d wanted to give the name to Alice but Bruce didn’t like it and had said no.
‘You’ll always be my Tammy Tadpole,’ Sonia would say as she kissed her goodnight.
Alice ran her finger gently over the baby’s forehead.
‘Tammy Sonia Pond,’ she said.
‘Beautiful.’ Hattie sighed. ‘Welcome to the world, Tammy.’
Alice walked back to her room from the bathroom with the help of the midwife.
‘Thank you,’ she murmured as the midwife left the room.
Alice stood in the doorway watching as Hattie sang quietly, rocking Tammy in her arms, a sense of dread rising in her as she looked on. What did she know about raising a child? What if Tammy got sick and Alice didn’t know what to do? What if she stuck a pencil up her nose? What if Alice couldn’t get her to sleep at night? How did you teach a child to walk? What if she couldn’t cope on her own? She’d never missed her mother so much in all her life. What if Hattie decided to kick them out? Where would she go? What would she do? Oh, Lord. What if she was a terrible mum? She knew nothing about kids. What if she turned out just like her dad?
Alice felt a sudden urge to run – to sneak out of the hospital and get as far away from Glensdale and Kookaburra Creek as she could and just keep running. Hattie would look after Tammy and do a much better job than she possibly could, she was sure. She started to retreat from the doorway.
Hattie turned around. ‘You’re back.’ She stepped forward and put Tammy into Alice’s arms. ‘Are you all right?’
Alice looked down at Tammy, her arms shaking. The little girl looked around with wide eyes, as though she were searching for something just beyond her comprehension. Then she looked at Alice directly with eyes that seemed to see into her heart, which Alice knew was ludicrous. She’d read cover to cover the baby book Betty had not-so-subtly left on the café counter for her. And she knew it was impossible. But here was Tammy, looking at her, staring at her, asking her to be her mum.
Tears fell down Alice’s face. ‘I’m fine.’ She held Tammy tight to her chest.
It had been a good first week back at work; busy, but not stressful, thankfully. Betty had brought her lawn bowls crew by again, and each of the old women had cooed over Tammy, giving Alice hope that her baby girl would be accepted here. Joey brought fresh bread round every morning and Hattie helped her clean up each night.
With her back against the tall, white post at the end of the jetty behind the café, Alice sang quietly while Tammy slept beside her. As she sang the lullaby her mum used to sing to her, she looked down at the piece of paper in her hands. The folds in the paper were ingrained with dirt and worn through in the corners. How many times these past few months had she taken it out and stared at Dean’s phone number? But he’d made his choice and it wasn’t her.
The lyrics of ‘Hushabye Mountain’ floated on the soft night breeze as she looked at her sweet girl, wondering what would be in store for her. Was it fair to bring her up without a father? Would Dean even accept his baby if she told him?
‘You have a beautiful voice.’
Hattie’s interruption made Alice jump and she looked up.
The old woman lowered herself beside Alice with a groan. ‘It’s not my place to say anything, but do you think, perhaps, you should try again?’ She cast her eyes down to the paper still in Alice’s hand.
‘The song?’ Alice tried to hide the note.
‘Please, my girl. I’m old, not stupid.’
Alice sighed. ‘He made his choice.’
‘But without some rather vital information.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m not here to judge, but you’ve been holding on to that piece of paper for a rather long time. Ever since we met, in fact. So perhaps you need to tell him for your own sake.’
Alice stared at her with wide eyes. ‘You saw?’
‘Don’t look so surprised. These old peepers don’t miss much. You were hanging on to that like your life depended on it when I found you in my pantry. You looked so scared that morning.’
‘I was.’
‘You know, I was going to sell this place off before you arrived. But, when I saw you raiding the shelves like that, I came up with a better plan.’
‘There was no job?’
Hattie smiled.
‘How did you know it would work out?’
‘I didn’t.’ She shrugged. ‘I actually thought you’d run off that morning. But what a good hunch it turned out to be. Now, clearly Tammy’s father isn’t quite out of your mind, so do you think maybe you should try to talk to him again?’
Alice let her tears fall. ‘Oh, Hattie.’
The old woman put her arm around Alice’s shoulder. ‘Maybe he’ll understand. If you give him a chance.’
‘He’s already moved on. What’s the point now?’
‘She’s the point.’ Hattie nodded to Tammy. ‘But so are you. Maybe if you tell him and the boy’s fool enough not to see the light, then you can move on and get rid of that dirty scrap of paper, if nothing else.’
Tammy woke and gave a contented gurgle. Alice picked her up.
Would Dean understand that Alice had had his child without telling him? Tammy wriggled in her arms. Perhaps he could forgive her for that. Tammy’s tiny nose twitched. Perhaps.
‘I’ll leave you to it.’ Hattie stood up, squeezing Alice’s shoulder before she left.
In the dark of night while Tammy slept, Alice pulled out the last blank postcard from Lawson’s Ridge.
‘Dear Dean,’ she began. ‘This news will no doubt come as a shock to you, but I can’t keep it from you any longer.’
With each word written a shooting pain coursed through Alice’s chest.
I know you’re with Louise now and I hope you’re happy. I really do. You deserve it.’ Alice pulled a piece of paper out of her notebook and continued. ‘But you also deserve to know that you are a dad. We have a beautiful little girl. Her name is Tammy. She has your smile. And your eyes.
‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I don’t expect anything from you. That wouldn’t be fair. I just thought you deserved to know. My address is here if you w
ant to be part of Tammy’s life. All you have to do is write back. But only if you want to. I will understand if you decide not to respond. I really am sorry. Alice.’
Alice signed the letter, leaving Hattie’s address and phone number at the bottom of the page. She wiped the tears from her eyes and sealed the envelope. She’d send it in the morning and then she’d wait.
Kookaburra Creek, 2018
oseph Moretti, what are you doing here? We’re about to close,’ Alice said as she put the last of the chairs on top of the tables.
‘Thought it might be good to rehearse that rotten “The Top” number. Now that Hattie’s out of hospital, no one is safe. Maybe we can get in a bit of practice without the threat of a certain cane tapping at our heels. What do you say?’
Alice was starting to have nightmares about that infernal walking stick of Hattie’s. Alice ran the first two weeks of rehearsals, but this third week with Hattie back in charge had been intense. And Alice and Joey still hadn’t managed a clean run-through of that particular number.
‘I don’t suppose it will do us any harm,’ she said at last.
Joey chuckled. ‘We couldn’t really get worse.’
‘Speak for yourself.’ Alice did a twirl and almost fell over. ‘Ahem. Just let me finish this up,’ she moved the mop and bucket into position, ‘and we can get started.’
‘Let me help.’ Joey reached out and took the mop, brushing Alice’s fingers. A bolt of energy shot through her and she quickly stepped away. Alice had no right to feel this way about Joey. He was with Fiona now. She busied herself with the last of the washed cutlery.
Joey put the music in the stereo and Alice stood in the middle of the deck, trying to remember the intricate steps. And the words. And how the two went together.
‘Shall we start from the top?’ He stepped up and took her hands. ‘No pun intended.’
‘Good a place as any.’ Alice shrugged.
They began quite well. Better than they ever had, in fact. But half-way through Joey lost his timing and stepped right instead of left. They crashed into each other, and went down, crashing onto the deck.
The Kookaburra Creek Café Page 19
