by Barbara Gee
JP had been concerned about Lily meeting everyone all at once, but Adalyn convinced him that would be the best way. Lily didn’t mind meeting new people, but she could be shy if she felt like she was in the spotlight. With a larger group there would be enough going on that she could flit from one person to the next and do her own thing without feeling cornered.
Adalyn had now completed her fourth round of treatment. It was getting rougher, but with a few recovery days she was once again feeling pretty good. I was praying that the doctors were wrong about the time she had left. JP and I needed all the wisdom she could impart, and the more time with her, the better.
I’d already packed my small overnight bag, so when I got home from school all I had to do was change into jeans and a sweater and grab it. I got to JP’s house fifteen minutes ahead of schedule, but he was ready. He loaded our bags into his truck and we hit the road.
“I Facetimed with Lily last night,” he said as we drove down the mountain road from his house. “She said she wants to see you and she’s going to help Grammy make biscuits for us again.”
“Aww, I want to see her too. And I can’t wait for your family to meet her.”
“Mom’s beside herself. She made me ask Adalyn what Lily’s favorite foods are so she can make sure to have some of them at dinner tomorrow.”
“What’s on the list?” I asked, smiling at Camilla’s efforts to make the little girl feel welcome.
“I think mac and cheese and peanut butter pie made the final cut.”
“Yum. Your mom makes the best mac and cheese. I haven’t had the pie, but I’m pretty sure Lily won’t be disappointed.”
He laid his arm over the center console and held his hand out for mine. I wrapped both hands around it and drew my legs up under me, settling in for the drive. He asked about my day and I told him how hard it had been to try to keep eighteen kindergarteners on topic. They were adorable and fun, but I much preferred the older grades where the children were a little more accustomed to sitting still and following a schedule.
“So second grade would still be your top pick for next year?”
“Yeah, I think so, but I’ll take whatever I can get.”
“It’ll be a lot easier for you to have one class and a set schedule.”
“Yeah, I definitely prefer not to sub another year, but I’m glad I did it. I’ve gotten to see so many different types of lesson plans and teaching styles. Yesterday I subbed for Whitney and, oh my word, that girl is so organized. Such a gifted teacher. It’s no wonder all the parents beg to have their kids in her class. I’m lucky we’re friends—I hope she’ll take me under her wing.”
He squeezed my hand. “I hope we can get everything settled with Lily by the end of the summer so you don’t have that hanging over your head when school starts in the fall.”
“Which will be doable if Haley doesn’t cause a problem, right?”
He nodded. “Yeah, if she doesn’t balk it should be a real smooth process.”
We were silent for a while, each thinking our own thoughts. After a few minutes, JP switched gears and updated me on the medical clinic project he and Jude were working on. They’d submitted their design and bid a week ago, and today the person in charge at the medical practice had called with a ton of questions. JP took that as a good sign. Their unique design had caught the woman’s eye, and after his conversation with her, JP felt good about their chances.
I was proud of him, as always, and made sure he knew it. That made him smile, and then he started telling me about some of his and Jude’s less successful collaborations from back when they were kids—the death-defying bicycle ramps they’d built and the moat Jude had started digging around the tree-house tree because JP had convinced him it was the only way to keep five-year-old Janna and her friends out of it.
Before long, I was convinced his mother was an absolute saint for successfully raising those two boys to adulthood.
When we pulled up to Adalyn’s house, we saw Lily in the front window, waving wildly. I looked over at JP and smiled at the look of pure love on his face. Last Sunday he’d filled me in on their talk about him being her daddy. At first Lily hadn’t seemed to grasp the importance of what he was saying, but then her face had lit up and she excitedly told him that her friend Shiloh’s daddy had taken her to a dog and cat store and got her a puppy, so now that she had a daddy too, when could they go?
I had a feeling Lily wouldn’t have to wait too long for that. Having a puppy for her to play with at JP’s house would be a good way to help her feel comfortable there.
Adalyn greeted us at the door and gave us both hugs. She looked a little bit pale and had lost some weight since I’d seen her last, but her energy level seemed good. Lily squealed when JP lifted her high then flipped her upside down. When he set her back on her feet, she dragged him to the playroom so they could “build things.”
“Something smells delicious,” I said, turning back to Adalyn. “Do you need any help in the kitchen?”
“I won’t turn it down,” she said, waving for me to follow her. “I kept it simple tonight. A chicken and pasta casserole and salad. And cupcakes for dessert. Lily’s request.”
“That sounds perfect,” I said, going to the sink to wash my hands.
“You can chop the veggies for the salad. There’re peppers, cucumbers, and tomatoes in the top drawer in the fridge.”
I got busy chopping while Adalyn stirred up a pitcher of iced tea and frosted the cupcakes. She asked me for details about JP’s family, to prepare her for meeting them, and I gave her the run-down. She particularly liked that Ava and I had been friends since we were eight, and the totally unexpected twist of fate that had us falling in love with brothers.
When I talked about Camilla, Adalyn stopped what she was doing and listened raptly.
“JP said she’s making macaroni and cheese for dinner tomorrow. And peanut butter pie. She wanted to make sure Lily felt special.”
Adalyn gave a trembling smile and grabbed a tissue from the box on the counter. When she began wiping tears I immediately laid down my knife and circled the island to get to her.
“Adalyn, are you okay? Do you need to sit down? Can I get you anything?”
She held up a hand. “No, no, I’m fine.” She dabbed her cheeks and gave a rueful laugh. “It just took me off guard when you started talking about Camilla. I suddenly realized that she’s the grandma Lily will grow up with. The one who will be there after I’m gone, and—” She broke off and shook her head. “I’m glad Lily will have loving grandparents in her life, I truly am. But I admit I’m envious of Camilla. Does that sound unforgivably selfish?”
“It’s not selfish at all,” I told her, feeling tears stinging my own eyes.
She let out a long sigh. “It’s just that in a few years Lily won’t even remember me. That’s hard to think about.”
“Of course it is, but it’s not entirely true either. She might not remember actually being with you, but she’ll remember you. JP will make sure of it.”
“Ah, dear JP.” Her dark eyes held so much regret. “Perhaps all this is my just due,” she said sadly. “I’ve been the very epitome of selfish by keeping Lily to myself until I needed help. I always came up with reasons to justify not getting in touch with JP, but now that I’ve seen him with Lily, I realize how selfish and short-sighted it was to keep her a secret from him. She should have been given the chance to know him all along.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, because frankly I agreed that she should have told him way back when Lily was born. But I didn’t have it in me to add to her guilt. “You didn’t know for sure he was her dad,” I said haltingly.
“I should have found out, I was just too afraid. I loved Lily from the moment Haley told me she was pregnant, and I knew her biological father was the only person who could take her away from me.”
Adalyn walked over and sat down at a small table in the bay window. “I’ve apologized to JP for that. More than once. He’s been
far more gracious than I deserve.” She gave a wry laugh. “It’s hard to be angry at a dying woman, right?”
“JP’s not the ‘get mad and stay mad’ type,” I said, joining her at the table. “Even when he feels strongly about something, he tends to give people the benefit of the doubt. I’ve been on the receiving end of that myself. It’s one of the many things I admire about him.”
Adalyn’s expression turned wistful. “He was always my favorite of Haley’s boyfriends. She was different when she was with him. She stopped hanging out with her wild friends and her grades improved. I know it was because she wanted to feel like she deserved to date a boy like JP Keller. His family was very well thought of in the short time they lived here in town. I never met them, but they had a fine reputation. I hoped JP and Haley would last, but they were too young. High school romances so rarely end well.”
Adalyn was staring out the window as she spoke, and when she turned back she looked almost surprised to see me sitting there. “I’m sorry, dear. It’s rude of me to talk about JP and Haley to you, considering everything Haley’s put you through.”
“It’s okay. I’m really sorry things have been so hard for you. And for Haley.”
Her gaze grew distant again. “It all started with Glen’s and my divorce. Haley was in middle school then, which I’ve learned is a tough time for a child even in the best of circumstances. After Glen moved away, she started hanging out with a different group of friends. I thought they were fine. They seemed like nice enough kids. But soon after that is when Haley became really rebellious. Looking back, I know the new friends had to be part of the problem. Once they all got into high school, things steadily got worse. Haley was in trouble almost constantly. Barely getting by in her classes, not even showing up to school some days. I would try talking to her but she wanted nothing to do with me and would throw tantrums like you wouldn’t believe. I admit, I was scared of my own child. And then JP’s family moved to town and Haley set her sights on him right from the beginning. She pulled herself together, and for a long time JP never saw the side of Haley that gave me gray hair in my thirties. But it ended badly the summer before their senior year, and Haley reverted to her old ways.”
“I’m so sorry.” The words didn’t seem adequate, but I didn’t know what else to say. Her pain was so raw, even after so many years.
Adalyn nodded listlessly. “I wish she could miraculously turn her life around and be a fit mother for Lily, but I know my daughter, and I know she can’t do it. Not even if she wanted to, which she doesn’t. She only cares about herself. It’s always about the money and the drugs. Did JP tell you Haley wanted to abort the baby?”
“Yes. You saved Lily’s life.”
“And I’d do it all over again, of course, but Haley’s pregnancy was the most stressful time of my entire life. I was constantly afraid she’d go back to the drugs. I’d seen it happen twice before, after she’d gotten clean in rehab. It broke my heart every time and I tried to prepare myself to go through it again. Then when she approached full-term and still hadn’t used, I began hoping so desperately that she’d take one look at her precious baby and realize that being her mother was worth whatever effort it took to stay clean. I ended up convincing myself there would be a happily ever after, you know?”
“I know,” I whispered. “Moms always hope for the best.”
Adalyn wiped more tears. “She didn’t even look at her,” she said softly. “The nurse tried to hand her the baby and she just turned her head and said to give her to me. I kept trying, but Haley yelled at me to leave the room and she wouldn’t let us come back in. She was discharged the next day, and I haven’t seen her since. And to this day, she’s never laid eyes on Lily.”
I went over and got myself a tissue, as well as a fresh one for Adalyn. I sat back down and covered her hand with mine.
“She doesn’t know what she’s missing,” I said. “You’ve raised a wonderful little girl. It’s sad that Haley wasn’t capable of being the mother Lily needed, but thankfully you were.”
Her eyes were so sad when they met mine. “Do you think God gave me cancer to punish me for not telling JP about Lily from the beginning?”
I gave her an incredulous look. “What? No, of course He didn’t. You got cancer because…..because sometimes people get cancer. Good people get cancer.”
She let out a long sigh. “Well, whatever the reason, it forced me to finally do the right thing. I’m so grateful for JP’s forgiveness. I just hope God can forgive me, too. I’ve asked for it often enough.”
“I’m sure He already has.” I gave her a warm smile. “He’s good about things like that, and I’m speaking from experience.”
“My pastor agrees. I’ve been meeting with him regularly the last six weeks or so. I still have a lot of questions and I still feel guilty, but it’s helped me cope.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I’ve done a lot of soul-searching myself these past few months, and I’m happy to say I’m at a much better place than I was.”
She gave a slow nod, then smiled when the sound of Lily’s laughter filtered into the room. “We’d better get on with dinner. Those two are going to wander in here soon to find out what the holdup is.”
“Thank you for being so open with me,” I said. “And I can promise you, you don’t need to worry about how things will go with JP’s family tomorrow. They’ll make you feel nothing but welcome. I walked away from him four years ago and they never knew why, yet they still welcomed me back because that’s what JP wanted.”
“Thank you for the encouragement, my dear. We’ll hope for the best.” She pushed her chair back and stood up. “Keep working on those peppers. I’ll set the table. I think we’ll just eat in here. It’s cozier than the big dining room.”
“Good choice.”
A few minutes later JP and Lily fulfilled Adalyn’s prediction and came into the kitchen.
“Whatcha doin’, My-My?” Lily asked, scooting up beside me and standing on her tiptoes.
“Making a yummy salad,” I said, grinning down at her eager little face.
“Ewwww. I don’t want salad. Grammy said she was makin’ chicken.”
“Ah, yes, that’s in the oven.”
“And cupcakes!” she squealed.
“Yep. Grammy made some beautiful cupcakes for us.”
JP put a hand on her head. “Come on, let’s go wash your hands, then we can help get the food on the table.”
“Go with your daddy,” Adalyn said. “The chicken will be ready when you come back.”
Lily scampered out with JP following.
“They’re beautiful together, aren’t they?” Adalyn said fondly.
“Very,” I agreed.
“And you,” she said, pointing a fork at me from over at the table. “You complete the unit. I’m very much okay with that.”
“Thank you, Adalyn,” I said, touched. It was no small thing being approved of by a grandma who wanted nothing but the best for her granddaughter.
We had a delicious, chatty dinner—the delicious part was owing to Adalyn and her cooking skills, the chatty part thanks to Lily. When we were full of casserole and salad, Lily begged to go get the cupcakes. Adalyn laughed and got up to help.
“There’s pink ones and green ones!” Lily trilled from over by the stove. “What color you want, Daddy?”
I looked at JP and he grinned. “Green, please,” he said, then leaned over and whispered to me, “She called me that when we were in the playroom, too.”
“It sounds good,” I whispered back.
“Yeah. It does.” His grin grew bigger. “I think it’s really going to freak Jude and Janna out, though.”
Chapter 26
“I
s that your house, Daddy?”
We were pulling into JP’s drive and Lily had her little forehead pressed up against the window, beyond eager to get out of her car seat to run around. I was sitting in the back seat of Adalyn’s SUV with her and had done my best to keep her occup
ied for the last two hours, while JP drove and Adalyn dozed in the front seat.
Last night Adalyn had seemed fine, but this morning she’d been a little pale and shaky. I’d asked if she was okay and she said she sometimes felt a little off in the morning, but it usually got better as the day wore on. It made me sad to see the first real sign of her failing health, and I silently worried that she might start to decline faster than expected.
JP had insisted she not go to the trouble of making breakfast, and we’d stopped at a coffee shop instead. We bought muffins and scones to go, and Lily’s fruit smoothie and blueberry muffin had kept her occupied for a good twenty minutes of the drive.
“Yes, Lily, this is my house. Do you like it?”
“Where’s the other houses?” she asked, craning her neck as she looked for neighbors.
“Mine’s the only one at this spot. Just my house and the trees.”
“Why’s there sooooo many trees?”
Adalyn was awake now and she laughed. “I guess I haven’t taken her out of the town limits often enough.”
JP parked and went around to help them both out of the SUV.
“It’s lovely here, JP,” Adalyn said.
“Yeah, well, the house is going to seem a little small. I was a committed bachelor when I bought it, and having a kid wasn’t exactly on my radar.” He unbuckled Lily and lifted her out, flashing me a smile as he did so. “I’m okay with the unexpected, though. And the house will do for now.”
Lily ran ahead of us and tried to open the front door.
“S’locked,” she announced.
“I have the key,” JP said. “You help me turn it.”
She put her little hand over his and gave a dramatic grunt at the effort it took to turn the knob.
“Yay! Now we can go in!”
JP chuckled and let her go, holding out his arm to Adalyn. “My turn to be the host,” he said warmly. “Welcome to my place.”
“It’s big, Grammy!” Lily said, looking around in awe.
I could see why it seemed that way to her. Adalyn’s house was probably quadruple the square footage, but it wasn’t an open floor plan and had standard eight foot ceilings. JP’s great room with its high, sloping ceilings was completely different.
