“Shelby,” I said. “Okay?”
“What about her?” Tate asked.
“I left Little Mikey’s to go and see her.”
I saw the look on Tate’s face. “Dammit.”
“Yeah.”
“Didn’t go well?”
“No,” I said. “My own fault.”
“Both your faults,” Tate said. “The two of you lost each other equally, man. You know that. I know this shit right now with Sawyer-”
“Save it,” I cut in. “It’s fine. I helped her sister out and there was this moment when I offered to buy her a drink. She said no. Then she got in touch with me last night about that drink. I couldn’t say no.”
Tate stepped forward and put a hand to my shoulder. He let out a long sigh. “You never could, Axel. You never fucking could.”
I dropped my shoulder and walked away from him. “Doesn’t matter now. The night is over.”
“Yeah it is,” he said. “The morning too. Sorry about chasing your friend away.”
“Yeah right,” I said with a laugh. “I had no idea she was even here. You did me a favor.”
“Then do me one in return, Axel.”
“What?” I asked, looking over my shoulder.
“Go and check out the new shop,” Tate said. “See what you think. I just want your opinion on it. How it looks. The design of it. That’s it.”
I touched my head. It was fucking throbbing in pain.
“No,” I said. “I don’t want to see the new shop. I don’t give a shit about the new shop, Tate.”
Tate frowned and nodded. “Okay. Just wanted to put that out there.”
I went into my room and got a fresh shirt and was dressed for the day.
When I walked back to the kitchen, my stomach did a few backflips with hunger.
“I need to eat,” I said. “Then I’m going to the shop. You want breakfast? My treat.”
“No thanks,” Tate said. “I’m actually going to stop being your friend for a second and be your boss.”
“That’s good to hear,” I said. “Talk to me.”
Tate motioned toward the door to leave the apartment. He opened the door and looked me dead in the eyes.
“Axel… you’re fired.”
3.
I sat outside my favorite grease spot. A hidden gem tucked away near the edge of Hundred Falls Valley where the food was cheap, dripping with grease, and the perfect remedy for a hangover. The only thing missing was a shot of whiskey to help chase away the hangover for good. The orange juice was thick with pulp. The eggs were crispy around the edges, the yolks as bright a yellow as the sun. The guy who cooked - Willy - would walk from the griddle to each table to serve the food.
For some reason, I managed to eat breakfast just fine. Two cups of coffee, a glass of orange juice, and a glass of milk went down with the food.
I finally leaned back in the old metal chair and felt the legs slightly wobble. The place was packed as always, but I felt as alone as the last guy in the world in some cheesy zombie movie.
You’re fired.
Hell, it took Tate long enough to do it.
It didn’t bother me all that much either. I could find a job at any shop, anywhere in the world. Maybe this was my chance to do just that. Get the hell out of Hundred Falls Valley and away from St. Skin for good.
I looked at my arm, just on my bicep. There was an old tattoo there. A tattoo of the St. Skin logo. Right after Tate and Sawyer had their big falling out, when Sawyer took off one night and was never seen again, Tate tried hard to pretend that it didn’t bother him. He stood tall and mean, pushing forward with the business and his vision of what he wanted it to be. For some fucked up reason, I became his right hand man in everything. At that time, life with Shelby was simple. We loved the hell out of each other and nothing else mattered but that. We’d jump on each other with just the wink of an eye. We’d spend all of Sunday in bed, doing rock, paper, scissors to see who would be the one that had to answer the door when we ordered takeout food.
One night while Tate and I were sitting at the shop after closing, sipping whiskey and talking about life, we came up with the idea to tattoo each other with the St. Skin logo. He put it on my right arm, and I put it on his left shoulder blade. We were as drunk as hell while we did it, laughing the entire time. Afterwards, when we called it a night and stumbled out the front door to a waiting car driven by Shelby, Tate grabbed my shirt and made a fist. His eyes damn welled up with tears and he just nodded at me. I slapped his face and nodded back.
That’s when we became brothers.
And now the son of a bitch had fired me.
I laughed. Out loud. While sitting there alone.
A few people looked at me, but I didn’t care.
“You know, sitting here laughing at yourself makes you look fucking weird.”
I turned my head and saw Sawyer approaching my table.
“I’m eating alone,” I said.
“You’re done eating,” Sawyer said. He pulled a chair out and sat down.
“What do you want?” I asked.
“I heard the news.”
“That I just finished a breakfast for two people? Yeah, it’s a big deal. They’re going to put me in the paper.”
“Axel,” Sawyer said. “What the fuck?”
“What? He fired me.”
“I know. What are you trying to do here, man? You’re out of your mind.”
“I’m fine. Doing what I want to do. Did you come here to rub salt in the wound or what?”
“So you’re hurt over it?”
“Holy shit,” I said. “You all and your feelings drive me nuts…”
“You’re the only one with the feelings issue,” Sawyer said. “Tate was pissed.”
“He was pissed?”
“He figured you’d put up a fight. Not take him seriously.”
“For what?” I asked. “He fired me. I fucked up. I never showed.”
“You’ve been doing that for years.”
“What’s your point, Sawyer?”
“Go to the goddamn shop, Axel.”
“I was fired.”
“Who cares? Go to the shop. At least get your shit and clean up your room. See everyone.”
“And say what? Make up some bullshit stuff and give everyone a hug? Fade off into the sunset with my fist in the air…”
Sawyer laughed. “You’ve really thought this through, huh?”
“No,” I said. “But it is what it is, Sawyer.”
“Look, I don’t know what you’re going through personally here, but you know that St. Skin without Axel isn’t the same.”
“So hire me back,” I said with a grin.
“Funny. What you are going to do though, is drive your ass to the shop like you were supposed to do. Show up and get your shit together. Okay?”
“Yeah, right,” I said. “Get my shit together. Not just my tattooing shit, right? You’re another one that wants in on my life?”
I pushed back and the chair scratched the concrete so hard that it was ear-piercing. More people looked at me. I threw a bunch of cash onto the table. A couple of bills fell into the leftover yolk and I felt bad for half a second.
“Axel, come on,” Sawyer said. “You know that everyone is together in whatever is going on in all our lives. We all need each other. We’re all family.”
“Hey, remember that time you took off for years?” I asked.
Sawyer lowered his head. “Yeah, I do. If this is how you want to do this thing, that’s fine. I can at least sleep tonight knowing I tried.”
“I’ll sleep just fine tonight myself,” I said. “With someone new. Someone different.”
Sawyer stood up. “Right. You enjoy that, Axel.” He put his hands flat to the table. “I know it’s bullshit. So does Tate. You think you want that life, but you don’t.”
“You have bigger things to worry about than me,” I said. “How is Kate feeling?”
“Pregnant,” he said.
“Have a good day, Sawyer. Thanks for checking on me. You can run back to Tate now and tell him whatever you want.”
He laughed. “Yeah, the shop is better off without you anyway. Not that you’re around that much to begin with. You show up when you feel like it and do what you want. Fuck it. Good luck with another shop.”
That was it.
Sawyer walked away and I stood there, looking down at the messy table. The scraps of food and the money I threw there. I organized the money and put my empty orange juice glass on top of it, and I walked away.
When I got into my truck, I realized I had nothing else to do. My day was wide open. Unless I wanted to call Shelby and mess around with that situation again. Unless I wanted to go to St. Skin and see what the hell waited for me there.
Or I could go toward the coast and spend a few days to myself, collecting my thoughts.
Which is the shit I would normally do.
They were right though, Tate and Sawyer.
Something was different this time.
Something ached inside me.
I touched my phone, but shut my eyes and pulled my hand away.
I wasn’t going to call her. No way. Not after what happened.
That meant I was left with one thing to do.
I was going to see how awkward it was at St. Skin.
4.
I stepped through the door of the shop and it was busy like always. The buzzing of needles echoed throughout, along with a healthy mix of music. Looking left to right, there had to be at least six people either walking around or sitting and looking through books. My eyes went to Tate’s office door, just as it opened.
Tate paused in the doorway and stared at me.
I showed my hands as a sign of peace. I wasn’t coming to the shop to raise hell. At least not in front of paying customers.
“Hey, there he is,” a voice said.
I turned my head and Cass zeroed in on me, putting a hand out for a handshake.
We gripped hands and hugged for a second.
“How are you?” Cass asked. “Heard you had a wild morning, huh?”
“Something like that,” I said.
“Heard Tate was breaking your balls,” he said. “Chased away your nightly fun.”
“Well, to be fair, it was morning,” I said. “And I don’t do the morning thing. Even though she stole my shirt.”
“Hope it was worth it.”
“If I could remember, I’d tell you.”
Cass started to laugh. “I remember those days.”
“Now you’re all grown up,” I said and patted Cass’s face. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to go and get my shit and get out of here for good.”
“For good?”
“Yeah. Tate fired me.”
“What?” Cass asked and looked at Tate.
I patted Cass’s shoulder and gave a nod to Tate.
I’d managed to take the normal tension of the shop and turn up the heat to boiling point.
It took all of two minutes before I had half the guys in my area, wanting to know what the hell happened between me and Tate.
I plucked opened a drawer and took out a couple of old notebooks of drawings and pictures of tattoos that I had done through the years.
“Talk to us, man,” Maddox said. “This is crazy. Tate doesn’t fire people. At least… not you.”
I finally turned. “It’s for the best.”
“Fuck that,” Prick said. “I mean, I can’t stand you, Axel. I think you’re a dick.”
“Prick,” River said.
“What?” Prick said. “I’m being real.”
“I appreciate that,” I said. “I fucking can’t stand you, Prick. I’m secretly hoping for the day you think it’s cool to pierce your fucking mouth shut and stay that way for the rest of your life.”
Everyone laughed.
“Fuck you,” Prick said.
I touched my chest. “Oh, that one hurt.”
“Brother,” River said, “what is going on here? None of this makes sense.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “The shop will go on. The new one will open. It’ll be great.”
“This is bullshit,” Maddox said. “I’ll talk to Tate myself. Sawyer too. We’ll corner both of them. They can’t…”
“Fucking hell,” I growled. I slammed the drawer. One of the notebooks fell. “Will you assholes listen for a second? This has nothing to do with Tate. Or Sawyer. This has to do with me.”
“Hey, Sawyer left too,” Prick said in a low voice. “Sometimes you have to get away to get back. It’s okay.”
“It’s not that simple,” I said. I felt cornered. I felt attacked. And in some strange way, I felt loved. Which should have been a good thing. But I hated it. “It’s not that fucking simple. So all of you walk the fuck away. If you want to say goodbye, say it. You want a handshake? Fine. You want a hug? Fine. You want to fucking exchange phone numbers and never call each other? Fine. But get the fuck out of here.”
I turned and stepped on the notebook that had fallen. I crouched and picked it up. When I did, something fell out of it.
A picture.
A really old picture.
A picture of me with Shelby. She was sitting in my lap in my tattoo chair. Her cheek against mine, smiling so beautifully. Me not smiling, trying to be super tough and cool. I remembered that night. I remembered that picture.
I remembered everything.
“Axel…”
I stuffed the picture back into the notebook and stood up.
“No,” I said. “Everyone get out of here. This is what I did to myself. There’s no sympathy allowed with this shit.”
“Just let us know what’s going on,” River said. “If there’s anything you need. Whatever you and Tate have going on doesn’t mean we’re not still in this with you.”
“In this? In what?”
“Life,” another voice chimed in.
Tate pushed through everyone.
“I’m just packing up,” I said. “I didn’t want to come here, but Sawyer guilted me into it.”
“What the hell is going on here?” Cass asked.
“I got fired,” I said. “You know that.”
“But why?” Cass looked right at Tate.
“Forget all that,” Tate said. “Everyone get back to work. I need to talk to Axel for a second. Alone.”
I crossed my arms and grinned.
Everyone reluctantly left the room and Tate didn’t even bother to shut the door.
We stood there, having a little bit of a stare down.
“I only came to get my shit,” I said.
“You know, I said what I said to get a reaction,” Tate said. “I didn’t get a reaction, Axel.”
“I’m not going to beg, Tate. You know that about me. I take what happens right on the chin, no matter the scars, cuts, bruises. No matter if I get knocked down.”
“Yeah, I know. You’ve picked my ass up more than a few times.”
“You did the same for me,” I said. “Only mine was because I drank too much and couldn’t stand.”
Tate laughed. “Those were the days, man.”
“And now look where we are. You firing me. The guys going crazy about it. All because I missed a morning.”
“That has nothing to do with it,” he said.
“That’s right. You wanted to get a reaction from me. This is my reaction. Acceptance. I’m going to pack my shit and leave. Give a wave on the way out and then find something else to do.”
“That’s bullshit, Axel,” he said. “This isn’t you.”
“This is exactly me,” I growled. “Don’t tell me how to fucking act.”
“Of course not,” he said. “By all means, pack your shit up. I’ll help you carry it to your truck. But if you want to finish your last day out, there’s plenty of work waiting.”
I laughed. “You fire me to get a reaction and now you’re going to beg me to stay?”
“I’m not begging, Axel. I’m offerin
g. Just like with the new shop. Just offering.”
I rubbed my jaw and looked Tate in his eyes. “There’s not a single person that can walk into this shop right now that would make me stay.”
I was wrong.
Eleven
*PRESENT DAY*
SHELBY
1.
When Stacy opened the door to her apartment, she looked lively and excited. I wasn’t used to her like this, not to mention the way she jumped at me to hug me as though we hadn’t seen each other in months.
“Whoa,” I said. “Are you okay?”
“I’m great,” she said. “How are you?”
Stacy stared at me with big eyes.
I tilted my head. “I have to ask a serious question.”
“Okay.”
“Are you high right now?”
Stacy laughed. “Just on caffeine.”
“You sure?”
“Positive, Shel,” she said.
“You haven’t been this way…”
Stacy took my hand and pulled at me.
I stumbled into the apartment and she pointed to the table. There were a bunch of bags packed.
“I’m going to take a little trip,” she said. “I’m really excited about it.”
“Wow. Where are you headed?”
“I have this dream of finding a little town on the coast and just blending in for a minute, you know? Just be someone else, so I can be myself.”
“That sounds… amazing.”
“Really? I think it sounds weird.”
“No. That’s really amazing. Got room for one more?”
I offered a weak smile.
“Oh no, what happened?” Stacy asked.
“Nothing. I’m just messing around.”
“No you’re not. You’ve got that look on your face.”
“What look?” I asked.
“That one. You’re hiding everything. You look ready to cry, but you’re afraid to because you’re worried about me.”
I swallowed hard. “No. That’s not it at all. Not even close.”
“Ohmygod, you’re a liar, Shel,” Stacy said. “What happened?”
She took my hands and I shook my head. “You’re going through so much.”
“So what? You’ve been there for me. Now it’s my turn.”
Nothing Lasts Forever Page 9
