I didn’t walk away from her.
Instead, I stepped forward and took my boots off. I walked around the unfamiliar bed where my ex-wife now slept. There were sins on the sheets, no matter how many times they’d been washed, and I climbed into that bed, fighting off a sense of jealousy that made me feel weak.
Shelby hurried to shut off the lamp next to the bed.
The room went pitch black and stayed that way until my eyes adjusted. The faint light from the kitchen and living room was the only thing we had. It was enough that I could see her face, her eyes, as I inched closer to her.
She faced me, touched my face, her pointer finger touching my lips. I kissed her finger.
Without another word, she rolled over and pulled my arm around her body.
I pulled her close with a grunt, our bodies lining up the way they used to. Whether she liked it or not, I was still painfully rock hard from what happened in the kitchen. That would take time to cool off. Not that I was even letting my mind go there.
I was holding her. That’s all I could focus on. Holding her tight. Smelling her hair. Refusing to let the word ex-wife float through my head, because face it, this entire thing was completely fucked up.
Fucked up… but it felt so right.
4.
I don’t know when I actually fell asleep, but it was well after I sobered up. I held Shelby until she fell asleep and until my left arm went tingling and numb from her head resting on it in an awkward position. It was like stepping into an old routine as I carefully moved my arm without waking her up. I kept my other arm around her, her body tight to mine.
She was out cold, thanks to the orgasm and the vodka. I knew which one I hoped was better for her.
At some point, my head completely cleared up.
No swishing of beer and whiskey to cloud my thoughts.
I expected a shit ton of regret to hit me, but it wasn’t all that bad.
I mean, what was happening was probably bad, but that’s all we knew.
We broke up once when we were sixteen and Shelby tried to make me jealous by going out with some football player. I saw them together, side by side, and when the douchebag saw me, he put his hand to Shelby’s lower back. That set me off. I chased them down, grabbed Shelby by the arm, turned her around, and kissed her. I held her face as I kissed her, making damn sure she knew that I loved her. When I stopped kissing her, the douchebag football player called me scummy trash. So I shut him up with one punch. Then I took Shelby out for pizza and that night we gave ourselves to each other.
Just thinking about that day and night together still made my heart race. All those new feelings and new experiences. Shaky and breathless as we explored territories on each other that felt right, but were so foreign. And she was always beautiful and perfect. She guided me into being a man. Believe me, Shelby was a woman long before I was a man.
I slept for a little bit and woke up just as the sun started to push through the blinds.
Shelby hadn’t moved an inch.
Which was how she always slept.
Some people tossed and turned and flopped around all night, but not Shelby. She would crash in one spot and stay there.
Looking at her, I took a deep breath. There was a small inkling in my mind that the night before was just a dream. Some horrible dream of what I really wanted in life.
It was no dream though.
Shelby was next to me.
I gently touched her shoulder.
I had no idea what to expect when she did wake up though. If she would be the shutdown version of Shelby, wanting me to go away so that she wouldn’t have to look at me. Or if she would be the Shelby from last night, the one with vodka making her brave and able to speak what was in her heart.
I leaned in and put my nose to her hair and took a deep breath to greet the morning. The leftover smell of yesterday mixed with the smell of sleep. It was a punch to the gut that took me back in time. Way back in time.
So much so that I hurried to put distance between us.
I was on the edge of the bed and started to get out. I wanted… maybe needed… to get out of the apartment. That sudden flood of memories rattled me.
“Hey,” a groggy voice said as I put my right foot on the floor.
“Morning,” I whispered. “I was going to get some coffee.”
Lie. Telling her lies so she doesn’t get hurt? You fucking hypocrite.
“Forget the coffee,” Shelby said.
“Shel…”
Her right hand reached back for me. She patted the bed and I let her find my right hand. She pulled at me. I gritted my teeth, succumbing like a weak man, rolling back to the bed, letting her guide my hand around her body.
She put my hand onto her belly.
“Shel… I need you to listen to me…”
“Wait,” she whispered. “Not yet.”
Shelby slowly moved my hand up her body. She cupped her hand over mine and slid them up to her breast. Her right hand moved again, reaching back for me, except this time she wasn’t going for my hand. Her fingers flirted with the morning bulge in my jeans.
I hissed as she squeezed, tugging.
She turned her head and looked at me.
I knew that look on her face.
My hand eased down the front of her shirt and cut underneath, feeling skin instead of material. My hand moved up, my fingertips sliding under the bottom of her bra. The warm swell of her breast was no match for my hand…but I had to give it to her, she could fill my hand, and that turned me the fuck on.
She started to breathe heavily, swallowing hard, my moves slow and calculated, giving her a chance to smarten up and realize how bad of an idea this was.
I eased my hand away from her chest and around to her back to unsnap her bra. The second my fingers twisted the clasp and it broke free, she slipped her fingers into the top of my jeans. She tugged at me, wanting me closer to her.
“Shel…”
This woman - my ex-wife - reduced me to one fucking word.
“Axel,” Shelby whispered. She raised an eyebrow. “Shut the fuck up.”
“What did you just say to me?” I asked.
My hand carefully inched back around to the front of her body. Her breasts were free from her bra, primed for my hands. As I eased my hand over her again, her hard nipple brushed against my palm.
Oh, fuck, love… you’re so ready…
“You heard me,” she whispered. “Find something better to do with your mouth.”
I didn’t hesitate for a second as I lowered my mouth to hers.
The morning breath kiss was everything.
Her neck twisted to meet me, her back to me, my hand taking turns carefully kneading each breast as she played with the button and zipper of my jeans.
I finally slid my hand down her body and was reminded that she slept naked from the waist down. My fingertips glided down the curves of her body, following the more precious and perfect curve of them all… the one that guided me between her legs.
The second I touched her damp silk, she thrust her hips at me and groaned into my mouth.
My heart was completely fucked.
5.
I kicked off my jeans - and the covers - and Shelby was right there to grab me. Her slender hand gripping my thick root, pulling at me, groaning as my fingers woke up her clit with delicate flicks.
I slid my hand up her body to her belly, leaving a wet trail of her desire.
I brought my hand to her hand and started to stroke up and down, guiding her along a familiar path that she had explored for so many years.
She groaned into my mouth again, breaking the kiss with a look of surprise on her face.
“Did you forget about me, love?” I whispered.
“Fuck, Axel,” she said. “Right now. No games. Please.”
“Are you begging…”
“Now,” she said in a breathless voice.
I loved hearing her beg, purr, the feel of her naked body grinding against mine.
<
br /> I slid our hands up my shaft and off my hardness. But I didn’t let her hand go. I guided it around her body and down to the bed. I curled my fingers around hers, forcing her to grip the sheets.
I rubbed my lips against hers without kissing her.
“Keep that grip on the sheets, love,” I said. “You’re going to need it.”
I moved my hand and brought it to the back of her right leg. I slid between her legs and lifted. I positioned myself as needed, my cock moving between her legs, touching her slit. Her sweetness coated me, making me throb way too dangerously, but I knew how to handle myself.
Then again, this was Shelby…
I gritted my teeth and I released my hold on her leg and gripped my thickness tightly. I guided myself to her entrance, thrusting as needed to remind her body of what I felt like. When I moved my hand from myself, I gripped her hips tightly. I had been waiting to do that from the moment I saw her standing in the doorway at her sister’s apartment. The look in her eyes and the feel of her curves were enough to make me forget everything I knew in life.
When I drove myself forward, pulling her hips back at me, taking myself to the hilt, she bit at my bottom lip. As she did, she shut her eyes and groaned.
I wasn’t in the mood for the whole I’m going to shut my eyes thing again.
So I came up with an idea to make it easier for both of us.
I threw my right leg over her body and eased over her, taking her from behind. She was flat on the bed, gasping at my sudden move. I kept my right hand on her hip while I put my left hand flat to the bed to hold myself up.
I had her all to myself. Pumping and thrusting, pulling myself out to the very tip of my cock and driving forward with enough force that the bed tried to match the groans coming from Shelby. She tucked her arms underneath herself and rose up a little, sticking her ass in the air.
I growled at the beautiful sight before me as I put my other hand to her hip and had a firm hold on her body. I pulled as I thrust, welcoming the morning in in a way that I couldn’t imagine ever being beaten. She spread her hands out on the bed, gripping the sheets tightly. Her groans were muffled as she talked into the pillow. Her hips began to match my motion and speed, keeping up in a way that threatened me again.
I liked the threat and I was okay fighting with it. And worst case, if I lost, I was still winning the battle.
I grunted as I felt the intense swell between my legs. Shelby drove herself back at me, those new and sweet curves working their magic. She put her hands to the bed and pushed, lifting up, giving me a new sensation. When she threw her head back, her hair sprawled across her back. My right hand instantly slid up and my fingers slipped into her hair. She turned her head, eyes wide open, looking right at me.
That’s when I lost it… and not in the way I wanted to.
Moving faster with my heart than my brain, I pulled away from her beautiful body. My left hand pushed at her hip, turning her with ease. Her ass fell to the bed and she tightened her grip on the sheets again. I towered over her, her eyes still locked to mine.
Oh, fuck. Oh… fuck…
I came forward with force and entered her again.
I curved my body so I could put my forehead to hers, making damn sure we could stare at each other.
I moved in a way that I hadn’t in a long time. Faster than I could ever remember. Harder, to ensure there wasn’t an inch of both of our bodies that didn’t feel this.
She gently groaned as her hips rocked, trying to keep up with me.
“Right now,” I whispered, matching her words from before.
“Axel…”
“Come with me. Right now.”
I grunted and sucked in a breath.
Shelby’s head started to fall back as she reached climax. I wasn’t going to accept that. My right hand gripped the back of her head and I kept her staring at me.
She bit her bottom lip as she clenched tightly around me, making it impossible to move without exploding.
One final thrust forward and I held there, every muscle in my body tightened, focused on what was happening between my legs.
I hissed as I came, our eyes still burning into each other.
There were a few seconds where the both of us weren’t breathing. Just caught in a moment and lost in something else.
I inched forward and stole a quick kiss from her sweet lips as I eased my body away from hers. In that same breath, she collapsed to the bed, just there, exposed to me, smiling with that look of letting me know that I had done my job.
Slowly, I moved to my left side and rested there. My right hand touched her chest, above her breast, so I could feel her racing heart.
She looked at me. She smiled. “Good morning.”
“Good morning, love,” I said.
We could still make each other’s hearts race… but we could also probably break each other’s hearts again…
Fifteen
*PRESENT DAY*
Shelby
1.
Tate’s house was beautiful. But there was something about walking into this big house and seeing the presence of a child. The random toys. A room that was once probably never used was now a playroom for Jason. Even the kitchen. Beautiful cabinets and counters, but boxes of kids’ cereal and snacks.
I stood there with Axel’s hand tightly holding mine. Our fingers interlocked.
He looked at me and winked. “You okay?”
“Yeah. It’s just… different.”
“Nice house, huh?”
“It’s okay. Looks a little fake to me.”
Axel laughed. “You were never fancy, Shel.”
“Not my thing.”
Okay, the moment was a little strange for me. Going to Tate’s house to catch up with everyone I once knew as friends. That was another piece of the divorce that wasn’t explained or negotiated in legal documents. I was so lost and just done with it all, that walking away from the St. Skin guys was too easy. But it left me feeling empty for a long time.
Tate walked into the kitchen and ran a hand through his hair. “Okay. Jason is sleeping.”
“Ah, daddy man over here,” Axel said. “You look a little flustered.”
Tate looked at Axel, then to me.
I know, Tate. It’s okay…
“Shelby,” he said. “I have to say, this is wild that you’re standing in my kitchen.”
“This house doesn’t fit you, Tate,” I said without hesitation.
“Wow,” Tate said. “Still as brutal as ever, huh?”
“Who’s brutal?” a voice asked.
I turned my head and saw Sawyer and Kate. I put a hand to my mouth when I saw Kate’s big, round belly. She looked amazing. Absolutely radiant, glowing, everything I could have ever imagined for Kate being pregnant.
“Shelby,” Tate said. “She’s already tearing into me.”
Sawyer smiled. “That’s why we need you around more. To put him in his place.”
“And Axel’s too,” Kate said.
“Kate,” I said. “Ohmygod…”
Kate touched her stomach. “I know, right?”
I walked toward her, my heart racing.
I didn’t plan on actually crying, but Kate started it.
We hugged and rocked back and forth, both of us almost on the verge of blubbering.
“Hey,” Sawyer said to Axel. “Remember we used to have this fantasy right here? Kate and Shelby…”
“Christ, man, Kate’s pregnant,” Axel said.
“You could pretend she’s not,” Sawyer said.
“You two are assholes,” Kate said as she broke the hug.
“I second that,” I said.
“Yeah, yeah,” Sawyer said. He looked at Tate. “What was Shelby ragging on you about?”
“The house,” Tate said.
“Oh, I agree with that,” Sawyer said. “This guy takes all the business money and buys himself a nice place.”
“Eat shit,” Tate said.
“No fighting tonight, pleas
e,” Kate said, rolling her eyes.
I looked at Axel and raised an eyebrow.
It never failed to amaze me how quick these guys were to throw punches. Yet a minute later, they would be hugging and wanting to have a drink together.
“Truth is… I’m getting rid of this place.”
“You’re what?” Kate asked. “What about Jason?”
“Take it easy, mama bear,” Tate said.
“What did you just call me?”
“Oh, shit,” Sawyer said.
Kate waddled her way around the counter. She stood almost a foot shorter than Tate, but there was a look of fear in his eyes. I couldn’t blame him. Messing with a pregnant woman… topped with Kate’s fiery attitude…
“Sorry,” Tate said. “I wasn’t being mean. I meant, you know, you’re protective. Jason is your…”
“Yeah, yeah,” Kate said. “Watch your mouth. And what’s with selling the house? Isn’t that something we should talk about?”
“This is getting good,” Axel said to me.
“Can we focus on the fact that Axel and Shelby are standing in my kitchen?” Tate asked.
“Wow, way to throw us under the bus,” I said.
“Focus on one thing at a time,” Kate said. “You’re selling this house?”
“Yes,” Tate said. “I don’t like it anymore. It’s not really a kid house. Not the kind of house I want to raise my son in.”
“Okay…”
“Plus, I figure if I sell this place, I can get something more suitable… you know, find something near schools. A place for him to make friends when he gets older. And then whatever is left over, I can put away for him for college.”
“Holy shit,” Axel said. “Tate is being responsible.”
“Is this the same man that used to run across the street naked on dares?” I asked.
Tate looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “Correct me if I’m wrong, Shelby, but I wasn’t the only one naked a couple of those times.”
My face heated up.
Axel laughed. “Oh, I remember those nights. That’s when Shelly would come out.”
“Shelly!” Sawyer roared. “I forgot about that. Shelly was wild.”
“Sarah would cry a lot,” Axel said.
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