I feel her arms and legs begin to give out, so I roll over onto my back and take her with me.
“That was…” she starts, but can’t finish.
Brushing her sweaty hair off her face, I kiss her cheek and then her neck. “I’ll be right back,” I tell her, slipping out of the bed and walking over to the bathroom to toss the condom and grab a warm washcloth for her, but when I get back to the bed, she’s out.
Not like gone, but passed out… asleep.
I would think she’s faking it, maybe to avoid an awkward conversation, but her heavy breathing tells me she’s really and truly asleep.
The cocky smirk on my face is inevitable. “Well, Miss Cassidy,” I whisper, crawling back onto the bed and curling up beside her. “I must confess… this is a first for me.”
As I glance over at the clock on my nightstand, I see I have a couple hours before I need to get around for work, so I decide a midday nap after the best fuck of my life doesn’t sound so shabby. Grabbing my phone, I set an alarm and wrap my arm around Tempest’s waist, pulling her as close as possible and drifting off into the best sleep I’ve had in a long time.
When I hear the obnoxious beeping from my phone, I instinctively reach over to press snooze, but then I remember… Tempest, amazing sex… but my arms that were full of the most beautiful woman on the planet are now empty, as is the opposite side of the bed.
Sitting up, I look around the open space and start to panic when Tempest walks out of the bathroom, fully dressed.
I know before she even says anything that she’s either regretting what happened or she’s feeling embarrassed about it and I hate both options.
“Hey,” I say, climbing out of the bed and walking toward her.
The intense blush on her cheeks travels all the way down her neck and now I know, it doesn’t end there, and it’s all I can do to keep my hands to myself and not get her naked again so I can see just how far it goes.
“Hey,” she replies, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s, uh… almost five and I thought… well, I was just going to go.” Her brows pull together and she licks her bottom lip nervously.
“No,” I tell her and I mean it for more than just her suggestion to leave, especially without telling me or waking me. I mean it for everything. She doesn’t need to feel nervous or embarrassed or weird. This is still us, and regardless of what happened, we’re still friends. “Let me get dressed and I’ll take you home on my way to work.”
“I can just walk,” she says, stepping around me to grab her shoes.
Shaking my head, I bite down on my lip and growl. “Tempest.” As I pinch the bridge of my nose and turn to face her, she’s leaning down slipping her shoes on and not looking at me. “Look at me… please.”
Finally, she tilts her head back up and I walk toward her. Grabbing my shorts, I slip them on, letting them hang at my waist, but at least my cock is covered, and I can have this conversation without my balls hanging out.
“Don’t do this, okay?” I ask, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling her to stand between my legs. “I know you’re overthinking this and probably going in a million different directions, but nothing has to change, okay?”
She nods and swallows, but averts her eyes over my shoulder.
“I’m going to need some verbal communication.”
Huffing, she rolls her eyes and fights back a small smile. “Okay, no weirdness.”
“Zero,” I tell her, pulling her closer and wrapping my arms around her waist. “The only thing that’s changed is I made you come with my tongue… and gave you two more orgasms.”
Her eyes go wide and she laughs, the tension between us dissolving. “Oh, my God.” She tries to hide her face in her hands, but I don’t let her. Instead, I take her wrists in my hands and put her arms behind her back, bringing her close enough so I can kiss her.
“And I’m kissing you from now on,” I tell her. After a few minutes, I release her hands and stand, placing one last kiss on the top of her head. “Let me take a quick shower and I’ll drive you home.”
She nods, stepping away. “I’ll just go downstairs.”
“Stay,” I tell her, walking toward the bathroom and dropping my shorts by the door, giving her a nice show. “You can even join me, if you like.”
When I glance back over my shoulder, she’s standing with her arms crossed, one hand at her mouth as she watches every inch of me. Noticing me watching her watch me, she rolls her eyes and picks up one of my shoes, tossing it in my direction. “Go shower!”
“Such anger… you might need to get that checked.”
She laughs, incredulously, chucking the other shoe in my direction just as I shut the door and deflect it.
As I turn the shower on, waiting for it to warm up, it’s all I can do to not go back out there and toss her over my shoulder and bring her in here with me. But I can tell she needs time to adjust to this new us, so I’ll give it to her.
Chapter 23
Tempest
Closing the door, I lean against it and take a few deep breaths and give myself a mental pat-down: all my limbs are still attached, I’m breathing, my heart is still in my chest, even though just a few hours ago it felt like it exploded into a million pieces.
What did I do?
I’ll tell you what you did, Tempest… you had the best sex of your life. That’s what you did.
With. My. Friend.
“Ugh,” I groan, dropping my head forward and covering my face. “What was I thinking?”
That’s the thing, I wasn’t.
From the moment Cage told me he was going to kiss me, my brain shut down and my body took over. It was sublime. Every second of it was mind-blowing. At one point, I didn’t know what was up and what was down. I was so wrapped up in Cage and the way he made me feel, I could’ve died right then and been happy with my life.
Here lies Tempest Cassidy. It took twenty-eight years, but she finally found out what it was like to have multiple orgasms and cunnalingus. And then she died.
Laughing maniacally, I bang my head against the door a couple of times, trying to get the images to stop playing on replay. My body still feels like it’s on fire, smoldering from the inside out. How is that even possible?
A cold shower.
That’s what I need.
When I inhale, I can still smell him… us. I smell like sex and I’m not hating it, but I need to clear my head and it’s not helping. So I’ll shower, and then, I’ll get dressed and run to the grocery store. After that, maybe I’ll stop by Anna and Cole’s and check on the baby.
Maybe I should whip up a quick batch of muffins to take over there?
Yeah, that should do the trick.
It’s only five thirty and I need to keep myself busy. If I don’t, I’ll spend the rest of the night overthinking the last few hours and I don’t want to do that. I promised Cage no weirdness, but I feel my freak out boiling under the surface, just waiting to erupt, so I’m guessing I won’t be able to keep that promise if I don’t get out of the house and out of my damn head.
An hour later, when I walk into Cole and Anna’s house, it’s utter chaos.
Blankets, baby clothes, and diaper cloths are in piles on the floor with random pacifiers strewn about. There’s also fast food bags littering the house and I’m tempted to close the door and check the house number to make sure I’m in the right place.
I’ve never seen Anna’s house like this and to be honest, I’m scared. Is this what having a baby does to you? I mean, I know they need a lot of stuff, but I thought all they did was sleep at this age.
Even though the place is a mess, it’s quiet, so I continue to walk carefully to the kitchen, placing a box of muffins on the only cleared off counter space I can find.
“Hey, you. We’re over here.” I jump at the sound of Anna’s voice and follow it to the living room where I see the most beautiful sight. In the midst of what looks like a detonated bomb’s aftermath is my friend. Her hair looks like a r
at’s nest and she has bags under her eyes, but she’s completely in her element as she nurses her son. She looks so calm and happy.
She’s breathtaking.
“Look at you, Mama. You’re a pro at this!” I pick up a stack of folded laundry that’s close to Anna and move it to the coffee table, sitting in its spot.
“Well, I’m obviously not a pro at multitasking but I really don’t care.” Her voice is carefree and I cannot believe this is the same Anna I’ve known all my life. Where’s the uptight, judgmental woman who lovingly bosses me around? It sounds crazy, but I kinda miss her.
“You know I can come over here and help with the house stuff, if you want. I don’t mind.”
She shrugs. “The house will be cleaned one of these days. I can’t believe it’s not bothering me more than it is, but I’m just really enjoying my time with Matthew. Yeah,” she coos, gently stroking his sweet face with the most content smile I’ve ever seen in my life.
“You can hold him after I burp him, if you’d like.”
“Sure.” I smile at her.
If I’m being honest with myself, I thought it would be hard being here, surrounded by baby things, when just a few months ago, it was all I wanted. All I could think about. But I’m okay, I really am. Of course, I still want a baby of my own, but I can wait.
In hindsight, I think I was so obsessed with having a baby because I felt like something was missing in my life, but now, I realize that something was love. True, unconditional love. It’s like my subconscious knew things weren’t good in my marriage long before my conscious mind caught up to speed.
Maybe there were signs.
Maybe I missed them.
Maybe it was intentional.
But now, I’m living life with eyes wide open, and I’m okay with waiting. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen. Deep down, I know I’ll be a mom one day and it’ll be the best gift I’ve ever been given. Until then, I’ll just dote on this little bundle of joy.
Reaching out, I sweep my hand gently over his soft head.
“He’s so small,” I whisper. “Are you sure Cole is his daddy?”
Anna chuckles, shaking her head. “Stop.”
While she burps the baby and changes him, I go into her kitchen and grab the box of muffins for us to snack on. I also use the opportunity to start a load of dishes in the dishwasher and wipe down the counters before I return to the living room.
“How about you sit,” Anna instructs once I’m back. “I’ll situate him the way he likes to be held.”
I do as she says and soon I have a precious baby sleeping in my arms. Good gravy, he smells so good. I always thought it was weird when others would remark about baby smells because I assumed they all smelled like poop or spit up most of the time, but now I get it.
Inhaling deeply, I close my eyes and smile, brushing a kiss on his cheek.
“So, tell me how you’ve been doing,” Anna says, dragging a laundry basket over to the couch and pulling out a tiny little onesie. “I feel like I’ve missed out on so much lately. Are you still doing your anger management classes?”
I nod, glancing up at her. “Yeah, I’m still going, but I’m almost done with my required sessions.”
“Do you think it’s helped?” she asks, adding another clean, folded onesie to the pile at her side. “You seem calmer… more at peace.”
“I am,” I say, taking a deep breath and loving the way Matthew feels in my arms, so snug against my chest. “Gosh, how do you not sleep the day away with him… he’s like the best sedative.”
“Tell me about it,” Anna says with a laugh. “A sleeping baby is better than all the chamomile tea and melatonin in the world combined.”
I sigh. “Maybe I’ll just come steal him the next time I can’t sleep.”
“Give us a few more months and he can have a sleepover at Aunt Em’s.”
“Aunt Em,” I coo, looking down at Matthew. “I like the sound of that.”
There’s a long minute of silence and I know there’s something Anna wants to ask or say, so when I can’t stand it any longer, I look up at her. “Spill it.”
“What?” she asks in mock confusion, her brows that are typically well-defined fading into her light complexion as they scrunch up. Even without a stitch of makeup on, Anna is still one of the prettiest people I know.
“Whatever you’re wanting to say or ask,” I tell her.
Her shoulders relax and she places the cotton fabric she’s holding in her lap. “Cole said he’s seen you around town with that… with Cage.” Her eyes lock with mine, an eyebrow raising, and I prepare myself for the typical, holier-than-thou Anna, yet she surprises me once again. She smirks, “Are the two of you… you know?”
The blush on my cheeks is immediate and flashes of my time in Cage’s bed come to mind in vivid bursts of imagery. Swallowing, I clear my throat. To tell the truth or not to tell the truth: that is the question. But I’ve never been one to lie, so I go with, “We’re friends.”
“And,” she encourages.
“Oh, Anna.” I huff, trying to keep my voice low so I don’t wake the sleeping baby. “You don’t want to hear this.”
That damn eyebrow raises even higher. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”
In my mind, I’m thinking about Cage… on top of me, behind me… between my legs, and the fire in my belly is back. This is so inappropriate with a baby in my arms.
“Tempest,” Anna prods.
“Fine,” I say, giving in. I could use someone to talk to and she’s always been there for me. Sure, some of her advice is a little too pious for my taste, but it always comes from a good place. “We’re… a little more than friends. We, uh… well, I kissed him last week and today we… you know,” I tell her, using my eyes to tell her what I don’t want to say in front of the baby.
“Today?” she asks, and I don’t miss the way she leans forward, engaged in the conversation.
“Yeah,” I tell her, nodding my head, my eyes wide in affirmation. “It was…,” I pause, swallowing. “Well, let’s just say, I had more… you know...” Giving her more nonverbal cues, I know she’s picking up on what I’m throwing down from the way her expression changes. “More of those in one afternoon than I’ve had in the last year.”
“Oh,” she says.
“Yeah.”
She exhales, folding the blanket she’s been holding and letting what I just told her sink in. Then she places it beside her on the couch, starting a new pile, and picks up another pale blue one from the basket. “So, do you think this is…”
“I don’t know what it is,” I tell her, feeling the freak out from earlier trying to surface. And I’m thankful for the baby in my arms, because he’s keeping me calm… and centered. “It’s all so new and different,” I whisper, keeping my eyes on Matthew as I pour out my soul. “I was with Asher for so many years. He was my first everything. No one had ever seen me... like that besides him, until today. And it was so… different. I felt different. Not weird different, but good different. Even before the cheating, there was always something off when Asher and I were together. But it wasn’t until I was with Cage today that I even noticed it. You know, when you don’t have anything to compare something to, you just accept it for what it is and assume it’s normal. But never, in all of the years I was with Asher, did I feel the way I did today.”
When I stop for a breath, I glance up to see her watching me so intently. “And how did you feel?” she asks.
I can’t believe I’m saying this to Anna of all people, but I am. “Sexy, desired… wanted…” I drift off and bite down on my lip at the way he spoke to me. “He called me beautiful.”
“Every woman should feel that way,” Anna says and it shocks me. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. I’m a woman too, you know. Just because I don’t talk about it doesn’t mean I don’t like sex.”
When I cover Matthew’s ears, Anna laughs.
“Stop,” she says with the most carefree expression that for a sp
lit-second I wonder where my friend went. Is this a case of the body snatchers? Have we had an alien invasion? “I know I was pretty unbearable before the baby, but hormones can really do a number on you.”
You think?
Her expression turns more solemn and she furrows those expressive brows, clasping her hands in front of her. “But Tempest,” she says gently, like she’s getting ready to break some bad news and I brace myself as she tilts her head to the side. “Don’t just jump into bed with the first guy that comes along and calls you beautiful. You are beautiful. And you don’t need a man to tell you that.” Sighing, she pauses. “Don’t give your heart away too soon. It’ll just set you up for more heartbreak and I don’t want that for you.”
I ignore the twinge in my chest.
“And I’m not as delusional as your mama,” she continues. “I know that you would never be able to trust Asher again, so I’m not praying y’all back together. I stopped that a long time ago.”
Did she just call my mama delusional?
I can’t disagree with that.
Matthew squirms in my arms and I shift to hold him a little closer, rocking until he settles back into a deep sleep.
“I’ve been doing some reading on moving on after a divorce,” she tells me and my head pops up. “What? I’m your best friend and I needed to be educated so I know how to help you navigate this time of your life.”
Looking down at the baby, I roll my eyes and have to fight back the urge to whisper to him that his mama is crazy, but it’s okay, because his Aunt Em will be here to be his voice of reason.
“Rebounds are typical,” she continues. “They’re normal… Even though I’m not an advocate of sex outside of marriage, I understand the need to… get back in the saddle. Your confidence was shattered and you need to get that back. I get that. So, let this just be that… a rebound.”
A rebound.
It’s not a foreign thought to me. Actually, it’s something that’s been niggling in my brain for a while, but I’ve shut it down, because I’ve been telling myself that Cage and I are friends. Which we are. But now that we’ve crossed the line, I don’t know what to think and I’m afraid that we won’t be able to go back and that sucks.
Stud Muffin Page 20
