Man, I really hoped that was true.
I nodded as way of acknowledgment and slowly started to back away, thinking of my parents’ impatience. Jason’s words stopped me before I made it three steps.
“Can I at least have a kiss before you go?”
I stopped, and quickly rushed back to his side. Of course he could. Leaning down, I kissed him on the lips and then gave him a soft peck to the cheek and whispered, “I love you,” in his ear. If he never got my voicemail, he’d never heard me say it before.
Jason got a huge smile on his face. “I know you do. Ditto.”
Smiling back, I waved once more to Trooper Wesson and then hurried to the door. I was half way out of the room, feeling better for the first time in days, when I heard my name.
“Hey, Dee!”
Pausing, I peered over my shoulder to look back at Jason. “Yeah?”
“Quick question, any chance you’ve talked to Jacob? My phone call probably freaked him out and I want to make sure he didn’t do something rash like fly home from Spain because of it.”
38
The look on Jason’s face will stay with me forever. He was devastated. That positive Hallmark attitude he always put off was so far gone, he didn’t even try to hide it.
With tears in his eyes, I left him.
And I hated myself for it.
His heart was breaking much like mine was for Spencer, and I knew it had to be opening all the slow healing scars of everyone else he lost from the virus.
Life just wasn’t fair.
We should have been together, not torn apart by my parents stupid restrictions. Didn’t they realize we needed each other right now? He needed my support.
I kicked at the dashboard in boredom and frustration. It had been two hours and sixteen minutes since we left the hospital.
I had the passenger window partially open, my face turned toward the glass watching the scenery blurring by, my best friend and boyfriend becoming further away each time I blinked.
The night air was warm, humid, blowing inward, smacking me in the face, ruffling up my bangs. Ever so often the ends of the strands would prick me in the eyes harshly. I didn’t close my window though, I just pushed the hair out of my eyes. The little bit of fresh air I had was like a beacon of hope for me, that maybe one day I’ll be allowed to go out on my own again.
“I still don’t know why I couldn’t just drive,” I grumbled, catching a glimpse of my car in the side view mirror.
My father was sitting in the driver’s seat, more than ten car lengths behind us. Probably so far back because my mother was so hell bent on getting me back home that he couldn’t keep up. I knew my car all too well. Anything over seventy and it was rattling and making some pretty worrisome sounds.
Mom was going at least eighty.
“For crying out loud, Dee, we’ve been over this,” my mom said in bewilderment, like I should be grateful not feeling like some prisoner. “You just got out of the hospital.”
“So I broke my hand,” I retorted, rising my arm with the cast. “That’s all. I can still drive.”
“That’s not all,” she sighed, shaking her head. “And the fact that you think that, concerns me.”
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes, and went back to looking out the window, my mind speeding along with the passing miles.
We didn’t talk again for a while. It was making for a really long drive.
The radio was softly playing through the speakers, just loud enough I could hear it but not too loud to be a distraction.
I hadn’t heard anything I liked.
When I finally recognized a song, and started humming along to it, that’s when my mother decided to start talking again.
Go figure.
It’s like she sensed I was feeling better, and had to squash that from escalating. I was grounded for life after all. Singing might have been banned too.
“Why didn’t you answer our calls?”
The question was so far out in left field, I just stared at her, dumbfounded. The tone of her voice implied she had been stewing on the answer to that question for some time now.
She stared at me expectantly, waiting for a response.
“No service,” I half-lied. “Battery died too.” There was a bit of sarcasm purposely in my voice, I was still mad at her.
“We were worried sick about you,” she retorted, shaking her head again. “We even opened a missing person report on you.”
I dropped my foot off the dashboard and sat straight up, fully turning in my seat to face her. “Yeah, about that, Mom. Could you be any more psycho? I left you guys a note.”
“You left alright,” she mumbled, her disappointment clear on her face. “And this whole new disrespectful attitude you have lately, I am not tolerating.”
“Well, I am sorry, Mom,” I blurted, starting to snap. “But you made me leave them. Jason and Missy. I should at least be with one of them right now.”
“Like you should have been with Spencer.” She didn’t ask a question. “I wasn’t going to let you see either of them. You have your father to thank that you even saw Jason.”
“Why wouldn’t you have let me? I don’t get that. You know how much they mean to me.”
“And Spencer used to mean something to you too.”
“He did. God, Mom, he still does.” My throat started to close up again, my stomach bringing on that awful, painful cramping when I thought of him now. “What do you think I left his side for? The movies? A secret rendezvous? Some lame party? Do you really think that low of me?” Tears filled in my eyes. “I left to try to help him.”
My mother stared at me, baffled at my sudden reaction. “What does that even mean? You aren’t a doctor, Dee. You couldn’t help him. Even they couldn’t.”
“I know, but — but,” Tears were falling faster, harder. “I had to leave. I had no choice. I couldn’t just sit there and watch him die. I had to try.”
I was full blown sobbing now.
“But we failed— Mom, I failed. And now he’s gone…” I couldn’t stop crying.
“Oh, honey,” she exhaled, her entire tone changing after a couple minutes passed and it wasn’t letting up. She turned on her right blinker, and suddenly the car was slowing down, and she was easing us onto the shoulder of the highway.
I swiped at my eyes, hastily, confused. “What are you doing?”
She didn’t look at me. “Stopping.”
I peered through the windshield, not understanding. “Why?” Was something out there?
“Because you need me,” she put simply.
Just then the blue tooth started ringing, signaling an incoming phone call. My mother hit a button on her steeling wheel and answered, as the car came to a complete stop.
“Hello?”
“Linda, everything okay?” It was my father.
A quick glance in the rear view mirror showed him pulling up behind us, merging onto the side of the road too. His head lights getting closer.
“Yes, Clark,” My mother responded. “You don’t need to stop. Keep going. We’ll be back on the road in a minute.”
There was a brief pause. “You sure? I can wait for whatever it is.”
“No need, we’ll be right behind you, I promise.”
I could tell he didn’t like the idea of leaving us. “Okay, well, be careful.”
“You too. We’ll see you soon.”
Another sob left me as I sat there listening.
“Alright, I’ll talk to —wait, is that Dee crying?”
“Yes, but she’ll be fine.” She reached out, clasping my hand, squeezing gently. “No worries. We love you,” My mother added. “Safe travels.” And before my father could say another word, she hung up. The Bluetooth clicked off with a three tone beep, and she turned in her seat, facing me,
I struggled to get ahold of myself. “You didn’t have to stop.”
“I wanted to. Dee, sweetie, you can talk to me. I want you to know that. About anything, anytime.” She
let go of my hand and tipped my chin up, so I was looking at her, tears and all. “And do not, whatever you do, do not hold yourself responsible for Spencer’s death. It’s not your fault.”
Another loud sob escaped me almost in reflex. “But Mom, he needed me and I wasn’t there and now I’ll never have a chance to tell him why I wasn’t. I tried to get back. I tried but we couldn’t get away. Someone just kept getting hurt, and I just couldn’t get away.”
I pulled my chin away, dropping my face into my palm, my shoulders vibrating I was crying so hard. “He must have thought I was the most horrible person in the world--just like I know you think of me too. And neither of you will ever understand.”
“Then help me understand at least,” my mother urged, unclicking her seat belt. She leaned over, pulling me into her embrace. I went willingly. “You are my baby girl,” she comforted. “You mean more to me than anything else in this world. I’ll never think of you that way. You have such a strong, caring heart and I love you for it but it worries me. You keep trying to save the world, honey, but you can’t. No matter how bad you want to, sometimes you just can’t.”
She started rubbing soothing circles on my back. “I am sorry if I somehow made you feel I thought of you that way. I was disappointed, and scared. You lied to me, and you kept lying to your father and I, we didn’t know what to think of your behavior. We only ever have your best interest at heart.”
“Then why didn’t you let me stay with Missy or Jason,” I hiccupped in my hysterics. “If you wanted what was best for me, you’d let me be with them right now, especially knowing I just lost Spencer.”
I kinked my neck back to see her face. “And not just him. We lost another friend of ours too. Jason’s best friend. I bet you didn’t know that? And I just had to be the one to break the news to him. He was crying when I left, Mom. And I just left because you made me and now I feel absolutely terrible. How is that in my best interest?”
“Oh, sweetie.” There was a moment of silence as she let that sink in. “This is why you need to be honest with us. How were we to know?” She hugged me tighter in the next breath. “I’m so sorry. I’ll talk to your father when we get home. If you decide to open up to us, and tell us the truth about everything, I’ll make sure you get some privileges back, starting with being allowed to call Jason again.”
“Can I see him too?” I once again twisted my neck to see her; my tears subsiding with some rising hope.
She looked at me, contemplating. “Maybe on some really good behavior,” she mused, leaning back, creating distance between us. Her hands fell to the sides of my arms, not quite letting go yet. “But you have to be honest with us for now on. No more lies. Can you do that?”
I nodded, sniffling back my running nose. I’d do anything to see Jason again.
Her hands hesitated still on my triceps, as my tears continued to diminish every second. I was going to be able to speak to Jason later, I could call him. I could check on him. I could call him tomorrow, and the next day, and so forth. A crack in my heart was starting to merge back together as I pictured the smile that would spread on his face when he heard my voice on the other line, when I told him the good news.
We could still be together. And in time, there wouldn’t be any more restrictions. After everything, I wasn’t going to be grounded for life. My parents didn’t hate me.
I just had to be honest with them, and everything would work out.
Maybe they really did have my best interest at heart.
“We good?” My mother said a few minutes later, after it seemed the worst of my break down was gone, and only a few straggling tears remained.
I swiped my hand across my cheeks, and sniffled again, in lieu of another verbal answer.
“Tissues are in the glove compartment,” she said, dropping her hands away. She scooted back, righting herself once again in the driver’s seat, clicking her seat belt firmly into place around her. She sent me one last encouraging look, before switching on her left blinker. “Let’s go home.”
Checking to make sure the coast was clear she merged back onto the highway, steadily gaining momentum. Before I knew it, we were back at eighty miles per hour, speeding along and I was sitting in the passenger seat, feeling the summer wind once again hitting me in the face.
Home.
I liked the sound of that.
39
Home was only twenty minutes away.
We had gotten off the exit and were now traveling down a long, bumpy road just on the outskirts of town. We were the only ones to take the exit ramp, giving us the freedom to drive comfortably, so Mom hugged the center line because she was afraid for deer.
With the road running alongside the woods, I got that. I had already caught sight of three gazing on the overgrown vegetation to the right of the shoulder. I’m sure there were plenty more out there, masked in the shadows.
Mom and I were talking about mundane subjects, nothing in particular to pass the time. I was growing impatient in the passenger seat, thinking of luxurious things like climbing into a hot, relaxing shower and crawling into my soft, familiar bed for a safe, sound sleep. Simply knowing I wouldn’t have to sleep on that stiff, thin hospital cot or out on those hard, splintery wood planks amid the trees tonight made me smile. I could have a pillow that molded to my head and a comforter that wrapped me in exactly that, comfort.
I could fall asleep, without worrying about what I would do next to survive. I didn’t have to punch any zombie wannabes in the face; I didn’t have to run until I felt like my lungs were going to give out. I didn’t have to trek through bug infested, high weeds in pressing darkness following a dog. I wouldn’t have to toss my book bag into a pissed off bear, or be forced to shoot anything or anyone against my will.
I could just go to sleep, carefree like I used to, albeit more heartbroken than ever, and possibly even have a few good dreams to cheer me up.
There were times in the past forty-eight hours I never thought I’d be able to see my house again, and now that I knew it was possible, I didn’t want to wait anymore.
Why was it such a long trip from Pennsylvania to New Jersey?
The shadows of night closed in around the headlights of my mother’s SUV, and I continued to stare forward, eager to catch a glimpse of my upcoming town. The radio had been on the entire trip, but was starting to finally fade out, overcome with static. My mom, desperate to finish the lyrics of her favorite song, kept it playing, but half-way through the second round of the chorus grudgingly realized she had to change the channel.
Taking her eyes off the road briefly, she started pushing all the preset stations on her dashboard. The first four didn’t seem to interest her, but I caught a few words that grabbed my attention almost immediately. It wasn’t even a song. It was someone talking. A man.
“Wait! Go back,” I ordered, earning me an odd look from my mother. She obliged to my request though. She clicked on an oldies station. “No,” I directed. “The station before that one.”
“The news?” She said, making a face. It was apparent she didn’t want to listen to it.
“Yeah, just— never mind.” I quickly reached forward, swatting her hand away and hit the preset button myself afraid I’d miss it if I had to explain things first. There was a moment’s pause as the stations switched, then the guy’s voice began to fill the car again, a deep baritone.
“...and the patient has escaped,” the man continued. “All residents in the county and surrounding counties are advised to stay indoors if possible. Anyone with known whereabouts, please contact the local authorities. Patient is considered a health risk and potentially dangerous at this time.”
Something about him saying patient is what grabbed my attention to begin with. And as I heard him say it again, I felt myself sitting on edge, waiting to hear further information, but that was it. To my dismay, he said his name, the channel, and then it went to commercial. I had missed the most important parts.
My anxiety started to spike, as I
started to obsess over it.
It was the warning they aired. How they said it. It gave me a bad feeling. This was New Jersey, I reminded myself. The virus wasn’t here.
But Pennsylvania, I mused. That was a different story.
What if one of the patients at the hospital escaped? I thought of Buck escaping. Health risk? Potentially dangerous?
He fit both categories.
Ohmigod, could that even be possible? They had him contained, didn’t they? Or what if it was another patient? Didn’t they mention other patients?
The commercials continued and my mom, snapping me from my inward panic, asked me if she could change the channel.
“What? Oh yeah. Of course.” I stared at her though, curious and baffled, as she started to scroll through other stations. Why didn’t she look more worried?
Could I have just made that all up in my head? Had my haunting memories completely changed what was actually airing?
“Mom?” I cautioned, afraid I had finally mentally snapped. “Weren’t you listening to that broadcast?”
The first signs of town were starting to come into view. Street lights and building lights quickly lit up the distance like Missy’s cell phone flashlight app lit up the woods as she ran toward me the other night. Fast and bouncy, thanks to the unending potholes on this stretch of blacktop.
I thought of Jason and Missy back in Pennsylvania, still in the hospital. “Aren’t you freaking out?”
My mom, hand pausing on the station, briefly cast her eyes toward me, brow furrowing. “No. Why would I be?”
The tire hit another pot hole, and we were rocked in our seats, as the car swerved.
I grasped for the oh, shit handle. “Because they were talking about an escaped patient!” I blurted in angst. She quickly grabbed the steering with both hands, attempting to straighten the SUV back into the lane.
Two more potholes followed, in immediate succession. “It could have been one of them. An infected, Mom. The virus could spread in Pennsylvania again if it was.”
I waited as she gained control again then dropped my hand back to my lap. “Mom, Missy and Jason are still there.”
Dead Friends Series (Book 2): Dead Friends Running Page 28
