Until King Respen tore all that away from her. Uncle Abel and Aunt Mara were gone. And this time, she didn’t have Renna there to bear the burden for her. She had to do it all by herself. And she wasn’t sure how.
9
Renna limped across the plush rugs in her new chamber. Although she now had sunlight streaming in through wide windows and a view of the grass courtyard, her door remained locked and guards stationed before it. Her new prison might be plush and comfortable, but it was still a prison.
She paced in front of the window. What was she going to do? Should she agree to Respen’s deal? Nausea gurgled in her stomach. Could she really marry Respen?
Renna squeezed her eyes shut. Her heart gave a special ache. Leith. What would he think if he returned to rescue her, only to find her married to Respen? She wrapped her arms around her stomach. How much would it hurt to see Leith but belong to someone else?
What would Uncle Abel and Aunt Mara have her do? Would they counsel her to accept Respen’s proposal or refuse?
Renna hugged her stomach and stared past the Great Hall toward the cobblestone courtyard where Uncle Abel and Aunt Mara had died. What would they say? They’d always been willing to make sacrifices. Would they tell her to sacrifice herself to save the Christians in Acktar? But they’d also tried to protect her, so perhaps they’d say she should refuse?
Brandi would tell her to refuse. So would Leith.
But if she didn’t marry Respen? The killing would continue. The church would dwindle.
Even if she was rescued and the Resistance defeated King Respen, what then? She and Brandi were the last of the Eirdon line. It’d be Renna’s duty to become queen. She’d have to marry someone the country would accept as king.
A chill swirled down her arms. Leith couldn’t be king. He’d hate such a visible leadership position. More than that, the country would never stand to have a Blade as king.
If Renna became queen, Brandi would have to be Lady of Stetterly. Could she handle that kind of responsibility?
Renna tugged on the end of her braid. What was she going to do? Would she end up Queen of Acktar no matter what decision she made? She could either become queen by marrying Respen or by hoping the Resistance won. Was it her duty to marry Respen and assure protection for the Christians in Acktar instead of putting her hope in a slim chance?
Either way, she’d lose Leith. And that hurt worst of all.
She couldn’t stand the confines of her room any longer. She had to go outside. Leaning against the window frame, she stared at the bubbling fountain set in the green expanse below her. If only she could sit on the edge of that fountain and think for a while.
Why couldn’t she? Respen had declared she was to be treated like his future queen. She marched—well, limped—across her chamber and rapped on her door.
It swung open, and a soldier poked his head in. “Yes, my lady?”
The respectful greeting gave her confidence. “I’d like to sit outside in the Queen’s Court for a few hours. Would you be able to escort me there?”
The guard ducked his head. “Let me check.” He closed the door. The lock clicked into place. Renna waited by the door, counting the minutes as they rolled by.
Respen said she should be treated as his future queen, but apparently she was still just as much a prisoner as she was before. She couldn’t even go outside without asking the guard for permission.
Finally, the door reopened. Martyn stood in the hallway. He held out his arm. “Ready for a few hours outside?”
Nodding, she grasped his arm and let him help her down the hallway. As they started down the brick staircase, she cocked her head. Why was Martyn doing a job that easily could be accomplished by a boy with half his training and skills? “Why are you escorting me? The guard would’ve been perfectly capable of helping me down the stairs and watching me for a few hours.” She waved down at her splinted leg. “It’s not like I can escape.”
“You’re my prisoner and my responsibility.” Martyn guided her down the last step. “If you escape, I’ll be held responsible.”
“But I can’t escape.” Not yet anyway.
“I can’t take that risk.” Martyn rolled his shoulders as if remembering his whipping.
Renna rubbed her fingers against the unfamiliar silk of her skirt. If she escaped, Martyn would suffer more of those horrible lashes across his back. No wonder he wouldn’t want to take any risk in guarding her.
If Leith didn’t return before her leg healed, should she try to escape on her own? Leith wouldn’t have to walk into the trap that Respen planned to set for him. She wouldn’t have to make a decision about marrying Respen.
But if she failed, Respen would lock her up in the Tower again and probably station even more guards around her. She’d only make it harder for Leith to rescue her.
When they reached the fountain, Renna sank onto the warm, stone wall ringing a small pool. Her injured leg already ached from that much exertion. After a quick scan of the area, Martyn retreated to the stairs and perched on the third from the bottom. He produced a knife and a polishing cloth.
Two guards stood at the arched tunnel that led to Respen’s chambers and the cobblestone courtyard. Apparently, her prison had only been extended to the courtyard. The rest of the castle remained off limits.
At least she had some semblance of privacy. She could still feel their watchful eyes on her, but at least they were too far away to see her expression.
Leaning over, she dipped her fingers in the water, swirling her fingers until tendrils of current danced around her fingertips. Even in the heat of the summer day, the water remained cool as the mountain streams she and Brandi had splashed through on their journey into the Sheered Rock Hills.
Would she ever see those waterfalls again? Or venture outside the walls of Nalgar Castle? She shook the droplets from her fingers. Would she ever see Brandi again?
What should she do? The question ached through every bone, every muscle, every nerve of her body.
What would God have her do? The question rose to the surface, flowing like the water over the layers of the fountain behind her. She hadn’t asked that question before. She’d based her actions on what others would do. She’d wanted to have courage like Leith or contentment like Brandi.
Her focus had turned earthward again when she should’ve been looking heavenward. What would God have her do?
Wait. The answer thrummed through her. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.
When was the last time she’d patiently waited for God’s answer? She tended to make demands of God. Keep her safe. Keep Brandi safe. Deliver them right now. She didn’t take the time to wait for God’s answer, to learn the contentment and strength of patient waiting.
She’d asked King Respen for time. She didn’t have to answer him right away. When it was time to answer, she’d know what God wanted her to do. Perhaps she couldn’t find out the answer any way except by waiting.
Closing her eyes, she lay on her back on the fountain wall, one hand over her eyes, the other trailing in the water. She prayed for Brandi and Leith, that both of them would take the time to wait for God’s answer instead of taking matters into their own hands.
10
Brandi woke to a hand shaking her awake. She groaned. Her hip hurt from the hard dirt beneath her blanket. Her legs and arms shot sharp pain to her fingers and toes. Her eyelids felt glued shut.
“Time to get up.” Jamie’s far too cheery voice cracked her warm bubble of sleep.
She groaned again and whacked him. “It can’t be morning yet.” She scrubbed her eyes and shoved herself up. Jamie’d only get more insistent if she delayed, and if he didn’t shake her awake, Lady Alistair, Lydia, or Jolene would do it.
After she packed her blanket, she grabbed a slice of dried meat. Shad gathered their group together and herded them onto their horses. Brandi munched on her breakfast as they started riding once again. Even her jaw
ached while she chewed.
Why had she thought training might be fun? It was work. And pain. And more work.
Shad led them deeper into the Sheered Rock Hills. Brandi moaned at the constant upward motion. She gave up any attempt at pride and gripped her saddlehorn instead of relying only on the strength of her thighs.
Ahead of her, Lady Alistair also gripped her horse and swayed as if wearied by so much travel. Lydia and a few of the maids fared a little better. Somehow, Lady Lorraine managed to look as tough as ever. She must’ve been made of steel or something.
Brandi let her body rock back and forth with the motion of her horse. She closed her eyes and relaxed. Perhaps she wouldn’t fall if she let herself doze for a few minutes…
A scream ripped the midmorning air. Brandi jerked awake. Shouting blasted around her. Shad whipped an arrow from his quiver, nocked, and fired into the trees. Jolene scrambled to nock an arrow. One of the maids from Walden lay on the ground, a knife sticking from her neck.
“Get down!” Jamie dove from Buster.
The Blades had caught up with them. Brandi threw herself from Big Brown’s saddle. They couldn’t attack now. She wasn’t ready yet.
Jamie grabbed her shoulder and hustled the two of them to the side, placing their backs to a large cedar. Brandi drew the knife Leith had given her and gripped the hilt. She kept it pressed to her side, hidden next to her. Surprise. Jamie said that was one of a Blade’s best weapons.
“I saw only one Blade.” Jamie flexed his fingers around the hilt of his knife. “We had two following us.”
She searched the trees around them. The shouts of the guards grew farther away, as if they chased the Blade deeper into the forest. Where was the other one? If he was here, he’d be looking for her.
A black shape dropped from a tree near them, landing lightly on his feet within reach of Jamie. The Blade struck high and fast. Jamie dodged. The Blade stepped forward, using his height to push Jamie until Jamie tripped over a rock and tumbled backwards down an incline.
Jamie rolled, trying to get to his feet in case the Blade pounced.
The Blade didn’t pounce. With Jamie temporarily out of the way, he wheeled and charged at Brandi.
She was his target. If he’d gone after Jamie, she would’ve been free to run to the others. He probably hoped to kill her before Jamie had a chance to attack again.
She gripped her knife and crouched. His knife stabbed toward her stomach. She swept it aside as she’d practiced. Her instincts carried her forward, thrusting with her knife.
He’d block her thrust. She’d practiced this a hundred times with Jamie, and a hundred times she’d had her knife swept aside.
“Kent!” Jamie scrambled at the edge of the slope.
The Blade glanced at Jamie. Brandi kept thrusting forward. Her knife met a strange resistance, a hard but soft surface that gave beneath the tip. She stumbled as the knife slid into the Blade’s stomach.
He gasped and collapsed to his knees in front of her. He pressed his hands around her knife sticking from his gut. A rasping noise bubbled from his throat as he flopped to the ground on his back.
She’d killed him. A shaking sensation filled her chest, as if she couldn’t decide if she should go numb or panic. Her knees locked. The world tilted, as if the mountains below her feet heaved.
“You all right?” Jamie’s face cut through the black swirl dancing across her vision. His fingers curled over her shoulders, pressing into her skin. “Brandi?”
“I killed him.” The words rang hollow in her ears, too flat, too small to hold the emotion they should. What emotion should she be feeling? She should be horrified, right? Burst into tears, perhaps bawl that she’d never do it again?
But all she felt was cold.
“I distracted him. He didn’t expect a girl to fight back.” Jamie gave her a slight shake. “He’s not dead yet. Your sister healed Leith from a wound like that.”
Brandi’s eyes stole around Jamie at the man curled around his wound. Renna would’ve been able to tend him.
But Renna wouldn’t have put the knife in him in the first place.
Brandi shook her head. “I can’t. I don’t know how.” Nor could she stop shaking long enough to do anything.
Pounding feet crunched the dirt and pine needles. Shad’s face joined Jamie’s. “Did he hurt you?”
She blinked up at him. She couldn’t tell him she’d stabbed someone. Jamie understood, but Shadrach Alistair, raised to protect his mother and sisters from the slightest trouble, wouldn’t. Even now, Lady Alistair and Lydia huddled in a protective ring of guardsmen. None of them would consider picking up a knife and fighting back.
But they didn’t have to. They weren’t alone.
Jamie jumped in to save her once again. “No. We held him off.”
Shad nodded and swung his gaze toward the dying Blade. “Put him near the others. We’d best tend him.”
Two of the guards obeyed his order. Brandi pressed against the tree as they carried the moaning Blade past her. They were going to help him, but he’d die. Her knife had gone deep. Too deep.
Shad patted her shoulder. “You’re safe. The other Blade was wounded, but he got away. I doubt he’ll be in any shape to keep following us.”
Brandi nodded, but she didn’t feel safe. She was numb, like a part of her was bleeding out along with the Blade she’d stabbed.
11
He was surrounded by rattlesnakes. When Leith woke after sleeping through the hottest part of the day, he’d cracked his eyes open to find himself eyeball to eyeball with a large rattlesnake. Its brown scales with darker brown splotches on its back curled only a foot away from his nose, inches from his hand. A flick of his eyes downward told him two more snakes curled near his knees and feet.
He drew in a slow breath and tried to remain calm. He must’ve paused near a rattlesnake den. Hundreds of snakes could be populating the area around him. Like him, these snakes had sought out shade during the heat of the day to avoid overheating.
As long as he didn’t move, he’d be fine.
The rattlesnake facing him swiveled its arrow-shaped head. Its slitted eyes stared at him while its obscene, red tongue stabbed at the air. It could taste his fear, his body heating with the suppressed urge to run. He smelled like prey.
He couldn’t move, not even to draw his exposed hand closer to his body. Any movement could scare the snake into biting. There was no cure for snakebite. Even if someone had created such a thing, he was too deep in the Waste to get to medical help before he died.
Renna needed him to survive. He couldn’t die here, especially not from something as accidental as a snakebite.
The snake’s head hovered and swayed in front of him. Testing, searching, for the source of the fear it scented.
Leith had to calm down. He could feel a shudder building along his spine. Or perhaps it was another rattlesnake sliding along his back. His skin prickled. The muscles in his back stiffened as if prepared to fend off a snake’s fangs, but he couldn’t turn his head to look.
He glanced at the sky. He still had an hour of heat before the sun sank low and the earth cooled enough for the snakes to slither from their shade and seek the remaining warmth before night chilled the stone.
An hour surrounded by snakes.
The shudder built with the desire to run, to move. The minutes crawled by.
He had to focus on something other than the rattlesnakes surrounding him. Anything to remind him that death lurked one wrong twitch away.
Prayer. He squeezed his eyes shut to block out the image of the thick, scaly body in front of his face. Prayer kept him steady when he faced Respen. Prayer would keep him calm now.
Renna. Locked in that dark dungeon cell without even Brandi to comfort her.
Brandi. Torn from her sister and depending on Leith to return and rescue Renna.
Shad. Struggling with the burden of taking his father’s place.
Jamie. Trying so bravely to have a man’s courag
e at thirteen.
Martyn. Bitter from Leith’s betrayal.
The trainees he and Jamie had rescued. Jolene and Lady Loraine. Lord Alistair and his men fighting for their lives at Walden. Were they still fighting? Or had they been overwhelmed and killed?
The air cooled around Leith. His bones ached from the stone beneath him while his muscles cramped with the tension of remaining motionless.
The snake moved. Its scales rasped against the stone. Leith cracked his eyes open. The snake’s thick, ropy body thrashed in waves against the rock. A section curved over his hand, the dry scales catching on his exposed skin.
Leith’s breath seized in his throat. His fingers threatened to spasm. He’d never screamed in his life, but he was tempted now.
Something brushed against his boot. His leg tensed with the reflex to kick the creature away, but his good sense stopped him.
Don’t react. Don’t kick. Don’t breathe.
The snake’s rattle knocked against his hand. In moments, it slid from the rock and disappeared into the tall grass. The other snakes followed it, congregating on a few of the rocky ledges still exposed to the sun.
Across the grassy area, Blizzard snorted and moved into a shady spot, but he continued eating. He’d been around snakes before. He ignored them, and they ignored him.
The rustling, scraping sound faded into silence around him. After searching as far as he could without moving his head, he slowly twisted his head around. When he didn’t see any snakes, he eased himself up on one elbow. Nothing around him moved. He craned his neck and checked behind him. No snakes.
He curled into a sitting position and, finally, allowed himself to dissolve into shudders.
When his shakes stilled, he pushed himself to his feet. He needed to get moving. He’d lost too much time while he’d been immobile. He called for Blizzard. The horse’s ears flicked. After snagging several more mouthfuls of grass, Blizzard trotted over. Leith scratched the horse’s neck to reward him for coming. When the horse had relaxed until he nearly tipped over, Leith threw the blanket and saddle on Blizzard’s back.
Defy (The Blades of Acktar Book 3) Page 6
