by Lynn Red
“I take that as a yes?” Rex said, tossing his hair and smiling at me.
Half open and a little hazy, my eyes caught a glimpse of his crooked grin, and the dimple in his left cheek, and that was just about all the energy I had inside me. I let out a long, sighing breath, and pushed against him, sandwiching that big hand between me and his thigh.
“Yes,” I moaned. “Oh my God, yes.”
For a moment he moved against me, his fingertips painting slow, hot tracks up either side of me. I opened my mouth to moan or to talk, I’m not sure which, but he interrupted me with a hungry, deep, powerful kiss that forced my head backwards.
I tried to keep myself from collapsing, but it was hard – really hard – especially when his thumb found my button and started slowly circling, then going over the top. It was all so tender and patient and caring that he had my head swimming.
From the second we exchanged a glance until I almost collapsed in a heap and ended up in his arms, this whole thing felt a lot like magic.
No, I thought. Not magic – fate.
Our tongues danced a slow tango, his hands caressing me into utter, shameless submission. He tested my entrance with one fingertip, and then another.
I was so hot, so achingly, wonderfully hot and wet that those two fingers slid in without any resistance, and it had been a long time since something like this had happened.
“Where have you been all my life?” I asked, breathing heavily and sucking air through my nose. His fingers went to the first knuckle, and he turned them in slow, achingly good circles inside me. “Why did it take this long to find you?”
“Fate’s funny sometimes, if you’re the fate-believing sort,” he said. “But I was about to ask you exactly the same thing.”
Deeper, oh so much deeper and so much harder, he twisted those huge fingers inside me, and I relaxed my legs until I felt the heat of his palm cup my pussy. In soft but urgent circles, he took me to a whole other world.
Slowly I felt my consciousness spiral, my pleasure and my anticipation growing with every tiny move he made and with every one of the hot, eager breaths I felt against my neck.
Before I knew it, I was sailing. The muscles all along my back were tightened up, and my tail was twitching back and forth, which apparently amused Rex a great deal. That’s when I noticed the hair on his face was... well for one thing, it was more than stubble. For another it was getting longer by the second, along with the hair on his forearms and his chest.
“I guess... I’m not the only one... who does that?” I asked, breathlessly.
To answer, he just smiled, kissed me so hard that when he pulled away I immediately hurt for him to come back and fill me again. “Never before,” he said. “This is all new to me.”
The churning inside took me away. All my muscles started to tighten and clench, one after another up and down my body. My nipples hardened in my bra, the rough fabric sweetly scratching over the tips.
I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, mouth opened for another kiss, but instead I felt breath on the side of my neck. “I want to watch you,” he said, in a gravelly voice. “I want to watch when you...”
“You won’t have to,” I gulped, “wait long. I can’t believe I’m... I’m doing this. You’re going to make me...”
“Just like that,” he urged. “Just... like that.”
He was breathing so hard that you’d think he was the one getting the treatment.
A hot flush crept down my neck, under my shirt and caressed my prickling nipples. The whole world seemed to go soft and smooth and hot and cold in wave after wave. Every time his fingers curled, my breath got hotter and shorter. My pulse quickened.
“I can’t... I’m...”
“Good,” he whispered, sucking my earlobe gently, and pushing his fingers all the way in, grinding that palm against my clit. “Just like that, just let it carry you away.”
“Carried away” is exactly what I was. The waves of pounding ecstasy coursed through me, taking me higher and higher until I felt like I was looking down on myself from above. I clutched one of my breasts, rolling my nipple between my fingers. I ran my other hand down between my legs and squeezed Rex’s hand against me sweetly.
“I’m...”
The world exploded around me. White hot pleasure blasted out of me, soaking Rex’s hand. He gave me an appreciative groan and I threw my head backward letting my weight, and Rex, do all the work.
Pulsing turned to pounding turned to almost-screaming-ecstasy, and before I knew it, I was back on something approaching earth with a heartbeat sort-of approaching normal.
When I finally got enough of an ability to focus to look at things I realized, mortified, that I had gotten paint all over Rex.
“Oh God,” I said. “I’m so sorry, your jeans are—”
He hushed me with a fingertip on my lips. “You’re crazy if you think I mind some paint on my pants.”
I pulled him to the couch. He went first, and then I curled up in his lap. “What did you do to me?” I asked.
“Just now? Well...”
“Oh shut up!” I slapped him playfully on the shoulder. “I think I have a pretty good grasp of what you did to me physically. But you... you’ve done something crazy in my brain. I mean, I know I keep saying that I never do things like this, but...”
Suddenly, he got very serious. “I’ve known since the second I laid eyes on you that you were something special. Something different. I just wish I knew—”
Against my still-warm thigh, I felt a vibration. “Oh, good lord,” I said. “I don’t think I can do anything like that for a couple minutes.”
He chuckled. “No, it’s my phone. Let me...”
I reached underneath myself, grabbed the phone, and grabbed a little something extra at the same time that made him jump. For some reason, making this huge, gorgeous bear of a man jump in surprise and kinda half-gasp was one of the funniest things in the world.
“Is everything okay?” I asked as he scrolled through his text and got up. “Are you... are you going?”
Of course he’s going. Of course he is, everyone just goes, I know that. My thoughts burned the inside of my skull. And then I remembered Leena and immediately felt even worse for being jealous. Still, I couldn’t help my ears burning.
“Everything’s fine,” he said. “There’s just... it’s something I have to deal with. I hate to do this, Lilah,” he said. “I really do. But I’ll see you again.”
“Promise?” I asked, already hot with anticipation, aching for him to return.
“Sooner than you think,” he said.
The engine on his bike revved, and tires screeched on the pavement.
“Well,” I said to the painting that he’d somehow never noticed – or at least I thought he never had anyway. “At least he didn’t see you.”
I already hurt, already yearned to have him back, to hold his hand, to feel his lips brush against my throat. To feel him around me, inside me.
I took a deep breath, and pushed myself off the couch. Crossing my apartment, I fetched a bottle off the countertop, uncorked it and stared at the fancy label. I held a glass in one hand, turning it by the stem with my fingertips.
Then, I thought better of it, and just took a big, long swig out of the bottle. The sweet, tangy warmth spread from my throat through my chest.
It didn’t matter. No matter how much wine I drank or how in love with Rex I knew I was, I was still terrified. I wasn’t a mother. I was barely a mother to myself, how the hell could I answer questions about life? If Leena showed up and asked me about boys, what would I do? Tell her ‘oh, don’t worry about it, just wait until you’re older and bitter and a little jaded and one of them will show up and steal your heart?’
I mean, that’s what happened to me, right?
I had a feeling this was going to be one of those nights, and the last thing in my life I could handle was a night like that.
Flopping down on the couch, I made sure to set the alarm on my
phone in case the unthinkable happened, and I collapsed. Taking my sis to class at ten might sound like a nothing problem to most people, but, yeah, raccoon.
“What do we have on tonight?” I flipped on the TV, taking another swig and licking the Malbec off my lips. “I can’t handle life right now.”
Agents Mulder and Scully were debating the finer points of werewolf existence on an episode of “X-Files” I’d seen about a thousand times, but still never lost that little edge of ironic humor.
“Oh Scully,” I said, laughing and taking another sip. “Next time, ask him about bears instead. They’re way better.”
-12-
Lilah
“What the hell time is it, anyway?” Dezzy’s voice was husky and rough.
“Uh,” I looked over, craning my head to see the time on my 1980s model clock radio. “Quarter to four. I think. This thing’s kinda old.”
She grunted a laugh. “Why don’t you get a new clock? Or use the one on your phone like a human?”
“I dunno. Maybe it’s that I’m not totally human?”
That hung in the air for a second. It was a little ambitious to think I could get her laughing before the sun came up. The truth was that clock was the only possession I had for a lot longer than I’d like to admit.
It was a reminder of a time when I was scared, a time when I was alone. Like really, completely alone. Hiding out behind dumpsters, finding places to sleep when it got cold; I grew up way too young, that’s for sure.
“What are you thinking, Lyle?” she asked, after I’d been silent for a time. “You called me for something.” She cleared her throat. She sounded like she was either getting over being sick or just starting.
“You sick?” I asked, distracting myself.
“What are you, my mom?” she asked, with a little laugh.
“I feel like it sometimes. Actual mom, she never was much one to talk about things.”
My sister cleared her throat again. “Fair point. You always were kind of a mom to me in a lot of ways. But,” she drew the word out. “It is like two hours until dawn and you called me. What’s up?”
“I was just thinking,” I said in a hollow, distant voice. “I don’t know how grown up I am sometimes.”
“Shit, are you kidding me? You grew up when you were seven,” she said.
“Are you outside? You know how dad gets.”
“Balcony,” she said. “Anyway, I’m serious. I think you’re older than our parents. We’ve talked about this before, but I can’t even imagine growing up the way you did. House to house, never knowing where you’re going to...”
“Going to what?” I asked.
“I was going to say ‘steal your next meal’ but I decided not to be rude.”
I laughed. “Oh yeah? Since when? Either way, it’s true. Can’t get mad at the truth. You know, sometimes I think having a family is harder than being alone. You’re responsible for other people, gotta worry about their feelings, all that kind of stuff.”
“Yeah,” she said. “But being alone is fucking miserable sometimes. Give and take, I guess. But hey at least when there are other people around, you got a better chance of getting laid.”
I snorted an in-laugh so hard my glasses almost fell off my nose. “That’s... yes, well, that’s both very you and very true, Dezzy.”
It wasn’t until after she responded that I realized she totally missed what I’d said. Then again, it was four-eighteen in the morning.
“I mean, it’s not like I’m going to find one of my own soon, it’s just—”
“Why didn’t you use protection?” Dezzy asked. “That’s what you’re getting at, isn’t it? You and that big jail-bear of yours went after it like, er, raccoons, and now you’re getting all—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa there cowgirl,” I cut in. “Who said anything about me being pregnant? I mean, we did go after it, kinda, sorta,” I snickered. “But no, where are you getting that I’m knocked up?”
Dezzy laughed. “Come on, Lyle. Who says all that stuff about families and worrying whether or not you’ll be able to raise a kid? Before you answer me, I’ll tell you. Preggos. That’s who.”
“Preggos? I’m missing something.”
“Yeah,” she said. “About ten years of slang. Preggos, you know, pregnant women. They get worried about that stuff.”
I took a real deep breath. “Okay well, two things. First of all, no I’m not. Second of all, you’re probably a better detective than Sherlock Holmes.”
“Runs in the blood, I guess,” she said. Our dad was a detective for most of my life before he got promoted to lieutenant. To Dad, it was less a promotion and more being ‘demoted to being a higher-paid turnip behind a desk.’
“So, bringing it all back around full circle. Lilah, tell me what the hell is going on so I can get some sleep before class tomorrow. You’re still cool to take us, right?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Someday one of you three musketeers is going to have to learn how to drive.”
“It’s less that, and more the car buying part, I think.” She took a deep breath. “Yep, so you’re deflecting. What’s going on?”
“It’s Rex,” I said slowly. The fan above me whipped around in slow circles that just about matched the beat of my heart in my ears. “He’s... well, he’s got a cub, and she—”
“Holy ass Lyle! He does? That’s just about the most adorablest thing I’ve ever heard. How old is she?”
That is not the reaction I expected. I mean, yeah sure that’s the one I had when I first saw Leena’s picture, and then it hit me even harder when I saw her, even though I was just snooping through a window. But still, Dezzy? The girl who doesn’t even like the idea of a boyfriend who wants to see you more than once a week?
I couldn’t help giggling a little. “She’s six, almost seven. I don’t remember exactly,” I lied to try and act cool but I’m sure that was as transparent as the rest of my act.
Like there’s any point to trying to fake my sister out, I thought. The thump-thump of my heart was starting out outpace the fan.
“Where’s his mate?” she asked. “Did she leave, or—”
“Dead,” I said. “Shit that sounded callous. I mean she was sick for a while. From what Rex said, Leena’s getting old enough to not really remember much about her.”
“Well that’s good at least. Not good good, but I mean at least the kid isn’t upset about it.”
“Yeah, I knew what you meant,” I said. “Same as me, really. But I... well I might have done something stupid. I kind of panicked when I realized how hard I’m falling for him.”
“You didn’t do anything, did you?” she asked. “Before you called me, I mean?”
“No,” I shook my head in the darkness. “It just scared me, is all. I don’t think I can do it, I don’t think I can be a person like that, like...”
That’s when it hit me. Even though the situation wasn’t exactly the same – or really anything at all alike – I did have a little bit of a kindred spirit feeling.
“So it’s getting serious, then? Wait, how can it be getting serious? Didn’t you just meet a couple weeks ago?”
My cheeks burned red. “Well,” I stammered, “yeah I guess so. It’s weird though. All the guys I’ve dated before, they never did the same thing to me that Rex does.”
“Tongue stuff? Yeah, Reuben was really good at that. Paul? Not so much.”
I could have kissed her on the mouth. I started laughing, and instantly the tension in the back of my head that clenched my shoulders into knots sometimes, receded a little. “Well no, but... okay well yes. But that’s not exactly what I mean. I’m talking emotions here.”
“There ain’t a damn thing in the world that makes me more emotional than a man who’s good with his tongue. And holy ass, Lyle, one that’s as big and good looking as Rex Lee?” Dezzy laughed softly. “I guess it’s true.”
“What is?” I asked. Admittedly, my mind was on other things. All that tongue talk had gotten me a lit
tle worked up. Tingles kept going up and down my stomach, no matter how hard I tried to wish them away.
“That stuff about karma. You had the shittiest life I can imagine for a whole lot of it. You never complain about anything, except when you’re on a long dry-streak, by which I mean when your sex life gets as interesting as the desert.”
I couldn’t really say anything. I opened my mouth, but the words just didn’t come. Don’t get me wrong – out of everyone I know, I love my sister the most – it’s just that she isn’t always the person you go to for emotional support or to talk about something serious. Every now and then though, she really surprises me.
“My sex life,” I said finally, “is frequently as interesting as the desert. But now? Monsoon season, baby. Monsoon season.”
“Oh lord, Lyle,” she said with a chuckle. “I did not need to hear that.”
We both laughed for a few seconds before I yawned. “Well anyway,” I said. “Thanks for listening to me. Sorry for waking you up.”
“Monsoon season. Shit.” Dezzy laughed again. “I don’t want any more apologies out of you for anything. As much as you’ve done for me over the years? All the times you listened to my high school bullshit when mom and dad were too busy, which was every single time? So, no, that’s not allowed.”
I was just about to say goodbye when she said my name again. “One more thing. I’m not a fortune teller or anything, but... something tells me this is finally it for you. Something about the way you talk about him, or maybe it’s because you sound happier than I’ve ever known you to sound. I dunno, or I might be tired and just babbling out of my ass.”
“I think you’re right,” I said. “I hope you are, anyway.”
“When’s the last time I was wrong?” my sister asked.
“There was that time about eighty seconds ago when you decided I was pregnant, for one.”
It was her turn to snort a laugh. Turns out, embarrassing laughter may be more nurture than nature. “Yeah okay, fine. But before that?”
“Uh... well...”
“Never mind! Okay, I’m wrong all the time. But there’s one thing I’m never wrong about.”
