“You said it, not me.”
“Plenty single parent families do just fine.”
“In other words, you’re going to selfishly hold onto Kian no matter what?”
“Wouldn’t you?”
This time, Meghan seemed less than forthcoming about her feelings. “What if Kian chooses me for the sake of his son or daughter?” Meghan might as well have smacked her in the face as she rubbed her still-flat belly. Evie recalled noticing the increase in the woman’s size and attributed it to the pregnancy.
“I am not a jailer. What Kian chooses to do is on him. I won’t force him to stay with me, but I damn sure am not walking away.”
An expression of disbelief came over Meghan’s face. “You did before when it got too hard, and I guarantee I’ll do whatever I can to make it hard for you, Evie. He’ll be with me full time before this baby is born, and you’ll be where you belong—back in the gutter with that murderous cousin of yours and alcoholic ex-boyfriend.”
Evie clenched her hand at her side. “You better be glad you’re pregnant and my arm is in a cast. Get out of my house. You’re no longer welcome.”
Meghan affected a shiver. “You can have that paper. Show it to Kian if you want. I’m going to meet with him soon, and we’ll see who will be getting out of Kian’s house.”
Evie was done talking. She shouted for Joey, and he strode into the room with a sandwich stuffed in his mouth. His wary gaze flitted from Evie to Meghan and back again. Evie sat on the couch and reached for the TV remote. “Meghan was just leaving. Can you see her out?”
Red-faced, Meghan stomped toward the exit, and Joey followed. Evie tapped the volume button several times to drown out anything they might have said to each other. A few minutes later, Joey returned to the living room and stood near the archway. She felt his eyes on her and gritted her teeth.
“Is there something you have to say?” she snapped.
He strode in and took the opposite end of the couch. She noticed the bag of chips tucked beneath his arm. “Were you going to eat these?”
“Looks like you ate half the bag already.”
“Big appetite.”
His words inadvertently took her back to when Kian had said the same about himself, but he had referred to his sexual appetite. Evie dropped the remote from nerveless fingers. In a few hours, he might be back, and there was nothing she could say to him. To think of him touching her, hoping for him to say he loved her and that he wanted things to go back to the way they were before Brad’s death seemed to be a dream out of reach. She stood and stumbled toward the stairs, hoping her stomach would settle soon.
“Evie.”
“Not now, Joey. I can’t.”
“For what it’s worth, I truly don’t hate you. I was angry for a while just like everyone else, but then I realized what happened to Brad was his fault. He was a showboat, always in competition with Kian. He wanted to be better. He wanted the brass to look to him before they looked to Kian. As close as they were, he knew he would never be as good an agent as Kian. That’s why he tried to take down Paine alone. It had nothing to do with you.”
She spun to face him, surprised at his admission. “They always had a healthy competitive thing going.”
He nodded. “They did, but sometimes…well, Kian only saw Brad as his brother. He ignored the fact that Brad was human.”
“I appreciate you telling me all that. Thank you.”
“And.”
She looked at him.
“Yeah, I’m seeing Deidra. Not as a lover or anything, but as a friend. I hope one day she’ll be ready for more. If not, I’ll be there anyway.” He shrugged, and Evie smiled.
“I’ll be rooting for you.”
“Thanks. And I’ll be rooting for you too.” Evie gasped, and he chuckled. “Meghan’s not all bad, but I can tell she’s going about things the wrong way.”
“Do you know why she stopped by?”
“No, but I can guess. She’s scheming to get Kian back. Don’t give up. He loves you.”
His words didn’t encourage her, unfortunately. “I’m afraid this situation is a lot worse than me just hanging around. We’ll just see how it goes.”
Chapter Nine
Kian returned home about four, and Evie waited for him. She’d put the test result from Meghan away, feeling while Kian had a right to know about his child, it wasn’t for her to tell him. She had wrestled back and forth with the decision most of the day and decided it wasn’t her business. Still, if Meghan delayed, and she doubted the woman would, she would tell Kian Meghan had something important to discuss with him. Let Kian pressure the woman. That was the most she could do when what she really wanted was to hide away and pretend this situation had never come up.
“Hey, there,” Evie said when Kian walked in the door. She pressed against him and kissed his lips. He responded, but his mind was a million miles away. “What’s wrong?”
Kian glanced down at her and sighed. He moved her to tuck against his side as they walked farther into the house. “I have bad news.”
Evie stumbled, and Kian’s arm tightened around waist. Fear crept up her throat that Meghan had already cornered him, and he was about to tell her the news as well as his decision based on it. At that moment, she realized it would kill Kian to live apart from his baby, especially with his fluctuating schedule. He would not do well with the whole seeing his kid every other weekend thing, like many parents had to deal with, not after longing for a baby.
“What is it?” she said, her throat dry.
“Sit down.” He sat on the couch, pulling her down with him. When he laced his fingers with hers, she found it hard to breathe. “It has to do with why I rushed out of here this morning. I wanted to see if I could get a handle on things before I talked to you.”
Evie frowned. She was pretty sure Meghan hadn’t yet spoken to Kian when she stopped by the house, and that was after Kian had already left. “Just tell me. I’m so over the cryptic comments leading to horrible news.”
His brows knitted together. “Have you heard other—”
“Kian, just say it.”
“Vitali left the safe house, and we have not located him. There’s speculation he is actually in league with Paine, maybe helped him escape.”
“That’s BS!” Evie shouted. “Who’s the idiot who thinks that?”
Kian smiled and raised his hands in surrender. “It wasn’t me. I promise. As much as I hate both of them, I know Vitali isn’t helping Paine. I think he got impatient being locked away and decided do things his own way.”
Evie squeezed Kian’s arm. “You think he’s going after Anthony? If you all can’t find him, why does Leo think he can?”
“Because Paine wants him dead. I suggested to the others Vitali may decide to use himself to lure Paine into the opening.”
“He can’t do that!”
“Shh, Evie, calm down. I know you care about him.”
“It’s not like that. He’s my friend, Kian. I don’t want to see him hurt. He was there for me, and I know the only reason Leo’s putting himself at risk is because of me. Please, tell me you can find him.”
“I will. He’ll make sure Paine knows where he’s holed up, and when he does, we will also be there. You don’t have to worry.”
“That’s easier said than done.”
She started to rise, but he tugged her back to keep her close. “I know you better than anyone, so I want to know what’s bothering you. Whatever it is, I’ll fix it.”
Evie’s heart stirred. “You always think you can fix my troubles.”
“Is that so bad?”
“No, it’s not.”
“So you’re admitting something is wrong?”
“The fifth,” she retorted.
“Evie.”
“Kian.”
He narrowed his eyes at her, one side of his mouth rising just a little. He smelled good, even after a long day. She wanted to bury her face against his neck and breathe him in, to ask if he loved her
, and if he did, would he whisper it in her ear as they made love and tried to produce the baby they had always wanted?
How low would she be to try to get pregnant before he found out about Meghan’s child? No, she couldn’t do things that way. The last time they discussed it, Kian had asked her to get back on the pill. She wasn’t coming off it until he agreed and after they worked on their issues.
“Can we just eat dinner together and enjoy each other’s company?” A little longer?
He studied her face. “I want to push you to open up to me.”
“Don’t, please.”
He sighed. “Okay, for now. I can’t promise I won’t insist later. I don’t want you unhappy, Evie. This situation with your cousin is bad enough. The past is, well, it still affects us, but I’d like to think we’re trying to move forward while being stuck in limbo.”
“Don’t I know it.”
He stood and helped her to her feet. Evie noticed how gentle he was with her, careful of her cast and mindful of any other aches and pains she might have. She told him a million times she was okay, but he was still very sweet.
“I don’t want any more on your shoulders,” he said. “Tell me, and we will work it out together. Got it?”
Emotion threatened to make her cry, but she managed to stuff it down. She offered him a big smile. “Yes, sir, Special Agent Sloane, sir.”
He laughed and tapped her ass. “Let’s find something to eat. I skipped lunch so I could eat with you.”
“Not cool, but I’ve cooked a delicious meal if I do say so myself.”
“Mm, lead me to it.”
* * * *
Evie chewed her thumbnail as she paced the bedroom. She had managed to put Kian off from what bugged her, but it turned out to be pointless. Meghan had phoned him and pleaded to come over because she had something urgent to discuss with him. Evie had a brief moment of satisfaction hearing the coldness in his voice when he explained to Meghan she had nothing he wanted to hear, but then he’d looked at Evie, and she realized her expression gave away that whatever it was Meghan wanted to talk about, she already knew. The disappointed look he shot her way that she hadn’t told him what was going on spoke volumes. She lost her nerve and excused herself from the room as soon as Meghan arrived. Now, she paced, wanting to know Kian’s reaction to the news, what he said, and what he planned to do.
“Evie.”
She started at Kian’s voice and walked out to the hall. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, his face devoid of emotion. She couldn’t tell what he thought as he held his hand out, and she descended to meet him. She followed him into the living room and found Meghan sitting there with a bottle of juice between her hands. Evie took a seat on the couch, but to her surprise, Kian sat in an armchair, one that held only one person. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. “Evie, I suspect you already know what Meghan came to talk to me about.”
Her heart sank. She’d hoped he wouldn’t figure it out, but at least the bitch Meghan didn’t tell him. This whole mess moved too fast. She hadn’t been given more than a few hours to think it through, but she guessed Meghan saw the baby would not make Evie back off. The woman probably wanted to start replacing her hooks in Kian right away. She might even have thought as Evie did earlier, that she would try to get pregnant before he found out.
Evie studied Meghan’s face, wondering if that was how this situation happened in the first place. She wouldn’t put it past Meghan. She turned back to Kian, and he remained at a loss for words. She decided to come clean.
“Yes, she told me. I thought it best she talk to you herself.” Bile rose in Evie’s throat. “This is none of my business.”
Kian looked at her with narrowed eyes. “How is it not your business, Evie?”
She stared right back at him, unsure what emotion reflected on her face. “You’re going to be a daddy. I’m not the mother.”
Total silence blanketed the house at her words, but the impact was as if she’d let loose an explosion. The juice bottle in Meghan’s hands slid to the floor and rolled away, and Kian looked like she’d used his gun to shoot him between the eyes. Evie rushed to stand up and turned toward the door, but she stopped and faced him.
“I’m so sorry. That came out wrong. You should be happy about your child. I know how much you want him or her. I hope…” She couldn’t say she hoped the three of them would make a great family and would be happy together. The lie refused to cross her lips.
Kian took his time standing. “I don’t know what to think or feel. Do I let myself be happy? Or do I resent her for bringing one more thing between us?”
Meghan gasped, and so did Evie.
“What matters most,” Meghan said, her jaw tight, “is our baby, Kian.”
Evie started for the door again.
“Evie,” he called after her. He moved toward her, but Meghan caught his attention again.
“What about the baby, Kian?”
He grunted. “I need time to think about this.”
“What’s there to think about? You have a responsibility—”
He rounded on her. “Do not speak to me of responsibility! We had the discussion about protection and about you using birth control.”
Meghan blanched. Her gaze darted to Evie and back to him. “This isn’t the time to—”
“Did you or didn’t you say there was no way you could get pregnant?”
Evie thought Meghan would pass out at that point.
“You said you enjoyed your career as an agent and were hoping to be promoted soon. Am I remembering that wrong?”
Her jaw worked. “I had protection. Sometimes it doesn’t work.”
Evie made a sound with her mouth, and Meghan glared at her. Either way, it got to be too much. They all knew Meghan was a conniving piece. Kian knew before he let his little head lead him. Evie didn’t have to be there. She left the room, ignoring both of them, and walked back upstairs. She’d been sharing Kian’s bed, but hesitated outside his bedroom door. Despite how she tried to shut out the memories, she recalled waking up that day and finding he had chosen to sleep in the room they had selected for their future baby. What would he do tonight? In fact, she wondered if she should make the first move and transfer her things down the hall herself. If she did, though, it might be just like what he did two years ago, cutting off the person closest because of her hurt feelings. Staying was a lot harder, and in the end, he might still move. She didn’t want the next few days to be a nightmare, stuck in the house under Kian’s protection.
A short time later, Kian came upstairs, and she had no idea how long she’d stood in the bedroom’s doorway staring in but not coming to a decision. Kian paused behind her. Neither of them spoke, but she felt the warmth of his body and heard his soft breathing. Her shoulders and back ached, muscles both anticipating and dreading his touch.
“Are you thinking of going to the guest room?” he asked.
She licked her lips. “If you want me there…”
“Stop it, Evie!”
She whirled to face him. “Stop what? I know this isn’t easy for you, and it’s not easy for me. We’re both questioning where we stand. Hell, we didn’t know where we stood before Meghan dropped her bomb. You didn’t make me any promises, and I didn’t make you any. We were living, pretending we were going forward when we were going nowhere. Neither of us said flat out, hey, let’s get back together.”
“Then let’s.”
For the second time, everything seemed to freeze in place—time, her thought process, the ability to move. “What?”
He took her hand and laced his fingers with hers. Evie’s heart beat out a rapid tattoo. She licked her lips and mentally steadied herself. Kian stood over her, his face coming nearer to hers. He couldn’t mean to kiss her, and yet every sense of her being craved it.
“I love you, Evie.”
Tears appeared in an instant and spilled down her cheeks. She sniffed and shook, sagging against his chest. Kian’s arms came up around her, and
she grappled at his shoulders, holding on for dear life.
“I love you too.”
“Marry me again.”
Her mouth fell open. She searched his gaze, looking for the joke or the insincerity. “I don’t want anything more than to be your wife.”
“Then it’s settled.” He kissed her until her toes curled and her strength seeped away. When he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed, she didn’t complain, but lay at his side, snuggled to his chest. They held hands, not speaking but almost breathing as one. She shut her eyes and listened to his heart beat. To leave him again was not in her ability. Not again, not when they seemed made for each other, but to survive, they had to communicate, or they would be right back to where they were before.
Evie drew in a breath and blew it out. She fought with insecurity and outright fear of what he would say. “The baby…”
“I’m happy about the baby, Evie.”
He might as well have stabbed her with a knife. She drew back, thinking to run to the bathroom, but his hold tightened.
“Kian, just give me a minute.”
“No.”
She looked up at him and saw the raw pain that stole her breath.
“I wanted you to be the mother of my first child. It kills me that it’s not you, Evie. It feels like a weight I’m not strong enough to stand up under.”
Her eyes widened. “Kian.”
He cupped her face. “You are my entire life. I turned to her not for sexual gratification, but because I hoped to drown out the voice that told me it was impossible to be happy if it wasn’t you. I was determined to go on. I was angry with you. I blamed you. At the same time, every thought centered on you, every breath brought in your scent, even when you weren’t there.”
She sobbed again like an idiot. Kian’s words took her back to their vows, the day they were married, when they made promises of love eternal to each other. His friends had teased him, especially Brad, who had been married two years previous. Everyone said Evie whipped Kian, but she never admitted there wasn’t a rulebook that showed her how to deal with the feelings this man evoked in her. And here he was doing it again, consuming her with the fire of his love.
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