by Tiana Cole
To divert my attention, I watched TV and switched channels for the latest news. I was still making headlines. A major sponsor was ambushed on his way to the office and was asked if they had plans of dropping me because of the accident. The chairman of the board kept mum and replied ‘no comment.’ I knew they wouldn’t. I could earn more in damages alone if it went the way of a major lawsuit.
I knew that. They did too. Next, some officials from Formula One were asked about my chances of competing in the coming event in three months. I, too, wondered if I could.
“I should have listened to Steve.” I sighed. All these trouble could have been avoided if I had. But…if I didn’t suffer that freak accident, I wouldn’t have been admitted to this hospital and I would have never met Sienna Miller.
I realized my thoughts were back with her again. Why couldn’t I get her out of my mind? Sure, she was attractive, but I’d been with lots of beautiful women before. Maybe she was just a figment of my imagination and was really a wrinkled grey woman in her seventies.
I hated myself for thinking about her. It was getting more and more difficult to ignore the boner that erupted between my thighs each time my thoughts went her way. Shit.
By Monday I was starting to feel surly. But the idea that she would be reporting for work gave me a bit of a lift. Each time the door opened, I looked up, hopeful it was her. By mid-morning my crabbiness had become irritation at anyone who came through my door that wasn’t her. Steve arrived and said he had everything under control. He would take care of business.
My sponsors who were calling incessantly, he said, kept asking about my condition. I didn’t care. To hell with all of them. Maybe I didn’t want to race any longer… just to spite them.
That should put everyone in frenzy. Then Steve mentioned the meeting with the nurses earlier in the morning. I perked up a bit.
“The nurse who was here when I first arrived, was she in the meeting? Nurse Sienna Miller?”
“I don’t recall but there were so many of them. Anyway, don’t worry about it. Everyone knows who you are and have been strictly forbidden to talk to the press.”
Not the answer I was expecting. I was frustrated, edgy, and needed a shave and a shower. He ordered a special lunch for me. I took a few bites and pushed it away. I could see he was starting to get really worried about me.
“Are you feeling okay, Gareth?”
“No,” I snapped at him. “I want to use the shower.” I needed a cold bath to take away the heat that was consuming me.
“I’ll take care of it,” Steve replied, and headed out the door.
A few minutes later, a nurse arrived with some linen and airily announced, “I’ll be giving you a sponge bath.” She said it like it was some surprising good news.
What the fuck? Was I ageing here? Did I have a full head of white hair?
I was about to retort, “No way…” when the door opened again with a nurse saying it was time for my meds. All this unwanted attention from all the wrong people made me furious. I wanted to be alone. Maybe if I asked nicely, they would leave.
“Please, Nurse…I am perfectly capable of taking a shower. And you…I’ll take those drugs after I’m done with my bath.” There. I was trying my best to be civilized. Take a hint, people.
“But…you can’t…I mean, you’re not allowed to get out of bed” Then she added, “Don’t be shy, Mr. Westbrook, you’ll feel so much better after the sponge bath.”
She winked at the other nurse and then both giggled. That broke my stash of goodwill.
“Both of you get out! Now!”
“But Mr. Westbrook, Sir…I-We…”
“If you do not leave me alone, I swear to God I’ll throw you out the balcony. Go!”
They scampered like frightened cats. I stood and swiftly locked the door behind them. I grabbed the towel, entered the bathroom, and turned the shower on. It felt good.
Every obscene thought about Sienna Miller was splashed away. I must have been there for some time until I thought I heard Sienna’s voice. Now I was going crazy. I shook my head, hoping to get rid of my delusion.
“Mr. Westbrook? Are you alright in there? Mr. Westbrook, this is Nurse Miller. Sienna Miller? We met the other night.”
I turned off the shower and cocked my head. It was her. I wasn’t hallucinating. She was knocking outside the bathroom door. I felt exhilarated. After hoping and waiting, and waiting and hoping, she was finally here. Just as suddenly, my exhilaration turned to funk. Why should I care, really? She doesn’t mean anything to me.
But who was I kidding, right? My cock certainly doesn’t think so. I grabbed the towel without any regard for decency. Let her see what she was missing. Maybe she would come around more often if she saw my merchandise.
She literally jumped backwards when I opened the door. I was sure she could see the faint outline of my bulge from the towel around my waist. She turned around and for one fucking second I thought she intended to bolt out the door.
I was about to cry out when I saw she was headed for the bedroom cabinet. She came back, handed me a robe, and then proceeded to fix my bed.
I decided to take it slow if I wanted to see her again. This bathrobe didn’t do much to cover the chubby between my legs. I had some loose pants in the cabinet.
Steve had brought them in from my apartment. That would hide the fucking erection. I wanted to get to know her better. I didn’t think being considered a sex maniac was a good way to start.
I meekly retired back to the bed after flashing my butt. I didn’t want her to feel threatened around me. I would do anything right now for her to stay a bit longer.
Even take that damned medicine which made my head fuzzy. She seemed pliant and willing to stay, and when I slipped my hand into hers after she took my pulse, she didn’t take hers away.
That was a good sign, wasn’t it? And she had some spunk. She said my ass looked great.
My eyes felt heavy as I fought to stay awake. I was afraid she’d be gone again. I had to think of ways to make her stay close to me. I knew she wasn’t as immune as she pretended to be. No woman ever was with me.
But I needed to play my cards well. The last thing I wanted was something the magazines would pick up and sell as a story.
A woman who wanted more that I was willing to offer was potential trouble for me.
I didn’t want that. My plans were never long-term and that included any relationships.
I just wanted to get laid. Sienna Miller would fit the bill perfectly.
Those were the thoughts inside my head before oblivion claimed me.
Chapter 11 ( Sienna )
I knew he was trouble. No, let me rephrase that…I knew I was in trouble. The effect of one Gareth Westbrook was like my relationship with tequila. I knew it was bad for me.
I avoided it at all costs. But life had a way of throwing me lemons, which made the drink taste wonderful. And the more I drank it, the less I remembered why I avoided drinking it in the first place.
Gareth holding my hand as he slept felt terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. A current flowed between the palms of our hands. It travelled all the way up my arm and somehow made a straight path for my heart. I felt giddy…lightheaded…happy.
I scolded myself for feeling like a silly teenage girl. I drew my hand away as I noticed that he was now breathing evenly. I knew he was fast asleep as I tiptoed away from the room. I should write down my observations about his medical condition. Nurse Silva expected it.
I made my way to the nurses’ station and retrieved his test results. I was glad they all came back negative. The CAT scan showed no bone injuries and his lungs and chest were clear as well. He showed no signs of injury to his spinal cord as reflected in the MRI. I felt glad about that, although an anxious thought sprouted in my brain. He could be discharged anytime. It was a depressing thought.
“Did he bite your head off?” someone asked me from the back of the station. It was Mel.
I couldn’t te
ll them he was meek as a lamb. They would wonder why. So I replied casually, “Yup, he was being difficult at first but I managed to talk some sense into him. He is asleep now.”
Mel was skeptical. “How did you manage that? He was like a mad dog.”
“I said that if he didn’t behave himself, I…we would be forced to use restraints on him.”
“Yeah, serves him right.” Mel was still smarting from the incident.
“Don’t think too much about it,” I consoled her. “Besides, his tests came back all negative. He might be discharged any time soon. You don’t have to see him again.”
I left the floor and made my way to Nurse Silva’s office to hand in my report. She was still busy working at her desk.
“How did everything go? I heard what happened to the other two nurses. Did he make trouble for you as well?”
“No. I think he just wanted to be alone for a bit. Have some privacy. Probably didn’t like the idea of someone giving him a bath. I found him in the sh-shower.” The memory made me stutter. I avoided my superior’s gaze.
“Uh-huh. Anything else?”
“Nothing. That’s it.” My response came out too quickly.
Nurse Silva cocked her head. I couldn’t lie to those probing eyes.
“He came out dripping wet with just a towel around his waist.”
“And…”
“So…I got him a robe so he could at least be decent…in front of me.”
She just looked at me, eyebrows raised to the roof.
“Oh Jesus…okay! So he chucked the robe for a pair of pajamas and I saw him butt naked. There.”
“And that had no effect on you whatsoever because you are a nurse, right?”
“Yes.” Uncertain. Hesitant. Lame.
“Bullshit, Sienna. I have seen him too, you know. My ovaries are shriveled and dried up, but even he has an effect on me.”
If I could blush, I would have. I shrugged my shoulder and added, “He held my hand as he went to sleep.”
“Oh Lord!”
I was to blame for that one. I could have pulled away but didn’t.
“Look, Sienna. I knew it. When he asked about you that first night he was admitted, I knew he was interested in you. He couldn’t fool me.
I saw the look in his eyes when I told him you weren’t coming back the next day because it was your day off. He was disappointed. I thought assigning him other nurses would make him forget all about you. Goodness, there are enough pheromones inside that room attracting the nurses like flies to honey.”
Graphic. And she hit the nail right in the head. I was one of those flies. But Nurse Silva wasn’t finished yet.
“I know you have a good head on your shoulder. I can’t tell you what to do. But I can warn you though. Guys like Gareth Westbrook? They are dangerous… just like the lifestyle he lives. Taking too many chances and gambling with his existence.
He can do a lot of damage to your heart. You can play along if you want to. I wouldn’t blame you because you are an attractive woman, not a robot without a sex drive. But after he is discharged, make sure he doesn’t take your heart with him. That’s all I’m going to say about that.”
“Yes, Nurse Silva,” I answered meekly.
I knew she meant well. I wanted to refute that there was really nothing to worry about. But I couldn’t convince myself that were true. If Gareth wanted more than just hold my hand, I didn’t think I would resist him…could resist him.
Right now, I was jumping the gun. All we did was hold hands. It was probably nothing. He needed comfort. I was there to give it. Guys like Gareth Westbrook probably had a girl behind every door he opened. If Nurse Silva was right and he was really interested, I happened to be in the right place at the wrong time.
As I said goodnight to her, I consoled myself with the thought that I could still control whatever it was that drew me to Gareth Westbrook.
If I saw him again I vowed to be friendly but distant. He didn’t have total control over me. I controlled my own destiny. The thought comforted me. But honestly, it also made me feel miserable.
“I must be getting my period,” I said to myself, thinking of how I was swinging between both ends of the spectrum.
Plus, I had absolutely no idea that life was about to give me my share of lemons again. And like a chump who knew that Gareth Westbrook was like tequila laced with vodka, I allowed myself to be strung along. I told myself the lemons would make the drink taste better.
I shrugged aside Nurse Silva’s warnings, thinking I had life by the balls. I was in command of my destiny. But life was laughing, and it was laughing at me behind my back.
***
Gareth was gone.
By the time I went back to work the next day he was discharged. My life took a turn somewhere between him holding my hand as he fell asleep and me whistling while taking an early morning shower.
I wanted to look pretty and wished I could wear regular clothes instead of the ubiquitous scrubs. But Nurse Silva would frown on that idea so I chose the lime green among the different colored scrubs in my closet. I thought it went well with my skin.
There was nothing much I could do about my hair except pull it back into a simple French pleat.
“Someone’s feeling pretty,” Chantal greeted as I entered the living room. She was preparing breakfast. “You did your hair too.” My forehead furrowed. It was something I hoped would go unnoticed.
“Yeah, it’s a beautiful day…any day is good when you prepare breakfast,” I mocked lightly.
“Could it be because of one Gareth Westbrook, current occupant of the BHH floor? I heard the nurses talking. They said you managed to calm him down last night.”
Word got around fast in a hospital floor.
“I-I guess, you could say that. But I-err-I knew what needed to be done.” I shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “You know how it is with patients. Sometimes you give them what they want…they settle down.”
“And what did he want?”
“He wanted to be left alone.”
“But you were there with him, right?”
“I…yeah, I guess. By the time I got there, he was done having a snit and was ready to cooperate. No biggie.”
“If you say so…” That was Chantal joshing me, hoping to get a reaction.
I pretended not to hear as I made of show of praising her dry scrambled eggs and burnt bacon. I didn’t want to seem like in such a mad rush to go out the door, jump into the train, and get to the hospital.
I could try and pretend with Chantal but I couldn’t fool myself. My hands were sweaty from anticipation as we neared the hospital premises. Things seemed quiet. I was too engrossed to notice that the media vans and the reporters were gone.
A few of the nurses were milling outside the back entrance as we approached.
“Have you heard? The ogre’s gone,” one of them greeted us. There was a look of relief on her face.
“Who’s gone?” I asked, puzzled. My heart began to pound.
“The Westbrook guy at the BHH. He was discharged very early this morning.”
“Gareth was discharged?” I asked as my heart sunk to the pavement.
“Yup, one of the night shifts said they had to hush-hush the departure because of all the news reporters at the front gate. An SUV decoy was used and when the media followed thinking it was him, he left thru the back entrance.”
I was stunned. I knew that he would be discharged sooner or later, but not today. I struggled to appear unconcerned. I was devastated of course. Gareth was gone. I remembered my vow to be friendly but distant. To be in command. I didn’t have to pretend anymore. The thought didn’t do much good.
“That’s good news for everyone.” Note sarcasm.
“Yeah…I wouldn’t go near him even if he paid me to. But I heard you managed well, Sienna. Any gossip you want to share?”
I frowned to indicate my disapproval. She could interpret it any which way she wanted—that I was relieved too or wasn’t a blabbermo
uth. Gossip wasn’t encouraged at the hospital, although the nurses would often let loose when Nurse Silva wasn’t around.
“There’s nothing to say. He was a patient. I took care of business. I’m glad he has been discharged. That’s one less looking after for everyone concerned.”
Lie. Of course it mattered. Why else was there a metal plate crushing my chest. But no one needed to know that. I would deal with my personal feelings my way. I should be grateful he wouldn’t be around to mess up my life again the way he did these last few days. I had made a narrow escape. He was gone for good.
Chapter 12 (Sienna)
I went about my morning shift, occupying my time on those who needed attention. I was about to check on the next chart when I heard the hospital paging system.
“Nurse Miller, Nurse Sienna Miller to the nursing director’s office. Stat.”
I was surprised. Apprehension wrapped around me. Had I done something wrong? Dr. Steve Newell, Director for Nursing Services, hardly ever called for any of the nurses.
It was Nurse Silva’s task to either reprimand us for mistakes or keep us informed about any development coming from the director’s office. What could he possibly want from me? I racked my brain for any reason as I hied off to his office.
I knocked on his door and tried to hide my nervousness. I was even more surprised to find Nurse Silva inside with him, and she didn’t look very happy. Director Newell, on the other hand, looked very pleased with himself. She gave me a nod as the director pointed to a chair.
“Director Newell, you paged me?”
“Yes, Sienna. I have good news to share with you.”
Odd. He never addressed anyone by their first names. He was a stickler for protocol. I kept quiet. This man had the power to make or break a nurse’s career.
“We have a donor for the new wing that has always been on the drawing board but never had the funds to see it through.”
