by Alice Quinn
29
As soon as we returned to Amar’s apartment, I set Pastis on the floor and went straight out onto the terrace to prepare a litter box for him.
The crazy electricity ape had left, but everyone else was still there. I had a couple of squatters on my hands. Laroche and Bintou didn’t appear to be going anywhere. The kids were there, of course. It was starting to look like camp. And now Gaston was joining us. Not to mention my Pastis. He climbed to the top of a dresser and stayed up there, checking out the scene below.
Everyone was in a pretty goofy mood, except for Léo and me—we still had the major frets for Erina. Someone had ordered some pizzas to go with the leftovers from lunchtime. I explained to the whole group (because nobody was admitting who’d done the ordering) that we couldn’t eat pizza every night. It’s not great to let pups get used to that kind of food. Bintou took the blame for it, although she wasn’t my number-one suspect.
“I promise, Madame Maldonne, I’ll make lots of vegetables tomorrow.”
She’d made herself the family chef and she was taking the role very seriously. And I couldn’t cope with her calling me Madame Maldonne all the time. I felt like I was about thirty or something!
At the end of the meal, Gaston offered those who wanted one a ride home, but nobody took him up on it. He came over to me, full of hope, and asked, “So the poem? How are you getting on with it? Have you managed to learn it all? I’ve got a nice little melody in my head, you know? I have a feeling that this is going to make you a star!”
I pulled out a note I’d prepared from my pocket:
Pleeze ecskuse Rosie Maldonne as she wuz unabal to lern the powem becaws tyme went veri fast and she had 2 mani things 2 do yesturday? Pleeze do not purnish her. Thanks fur yur conperhenshun.
He smiled, but I could tell he was crabby and maybe just a little sad. I don’t think I’d have gotten away with it if he really had been my teacher.
“Cricri, you’re not taking this seriously at all! It’s a crying shame! You’re going to have to put some effort into this. Put your back into it, girl, or we’ll never get there!”
After some time, everyone but my nearest and dearest went home. The imps and I explored the bedrooms, but my babas didn’t want to be too far away from me. Back home in the trailer, we’re never more than a few feet from each other. I don’t know what Freud and Amar would make of it, but I put the twinniesprogs in the big bed with me and a mattress on the floor for Sabrina. We were happy as pigs in crap, the four of us all in the same room.
Léo slept on his own, of course. I don’t think he was used to such luxury, because he looked pretty impressed with the whole arrangement. A choice of bedrooms! I helped him make up his bed with some clean sheets and we chatted.
“You know what? I saw something totally crazy in that walk-in dressing room before we went out to search for Erina,” he said. “I didn’t want to tell you about it. I don’t know why. I didn’t want it to slow us down, I think.”
“What did you see?”
“I saw a guy. He was lying on the floor. Knocked out, maybe? Freaky.”
“Lisa did say that Bintou had kicked or smacked the electrical man. I thought she was just making it up. You don’t think it’s true, do you? OMG! I hope not! We could be in it deep! You can’t go attacking people who come into your home to work! He’s a public servant, isn’t he?”
I went to take a look. There were several walk-in closets and cupboards and Christ knows what in almost every room! Nothing. Why didn’t I know any normal children? My and my friends’ offspring were all whack or something.
It was getting dark outside. Slowly but surely, I listened as my little ones’ breathing got deeper and steadier. They all went to snooze land pretty quickly. This is the sound that usually sends me to sleep myself. I find it reassuring. It lets me nod off worry-free. When I hear it, I know that everyone around me is relaxed and safe.
But that night, I tossed and turned for hours. I couldn’t stop obsessing about Erina. What was the solution? How was I going to find a way to help her? Would she really show up the next day by the fountain? Five, she’d said? I hadn’t even bothered to check whether Léo would still be in class at that time. I was pretty sure he’d bail on it if he was! And I understood that. I wasn’t going to tell him I was OK with it, but I got it.
Everything had taken a turn for the worse since filling in for Véro. What sort of a nightmare was I getting us all mixed up in? And what was with the taking on patients? Was I out of my freaking mind? I’d sunk to new lows. And I’d written back to Linus Robinson! What was that all about? Honestly. I’d fricking zoned. How was I going to get myself out of it?
All of a sudden, the answer came to me. Just like that. Out of the blue. The next morning, when I came back from dropping the bamberinos off at school, I’d close Rachel Amar’s door and double lock it from the inside. People would assume nobody was home. I wouldn’t open it to a single soul. Then, I wouldn’t have to try and fail to say no to any of these freaks. There’d be no more consultations. No more inventing therapy on the spot.
No more messages to Robinson either.
I finally managed to fall asleep, but I remained agitated until the following morning. Nightmare central!
I dreamed I was on the stand in some sort of court case. All the people I’d given my not-so-nifty advice to were around me: Saejin, Bintou, Laroche, and others I didn’t even recognize. They were talking amongst themselves, but I could hear parts of what they were saying.
“I was doing really well. I was feeling better until she came along and messed it all up for me.”
“Me too!”
“Me too!”
“Every day, I feel closer to putting an end to it all.”
“Me too!”
“Me too!”
“How come she just left us in the shit like this?”
“She’s a cold bitch. Heart of stone.”
Some of them were crying, some were hopping from one foot to the other, some were sucking their thumbs. Some stared at me reproachfully, while others begged me to do something to relieve the pain.
“That girl’s got a dark soul!”
“She doesn’t care—she left us in the lurch!”
“We feel a little bit lower every day. Every day!”
I woke up, shuddering, soaked to the skin. I noticed with relief that my kiddos were still in a deep slumber all around me.
My negative thoughts came back and it took some time again before I managed to drift off.
I didn’t understand why I was so concerned about whether or not people were getting proper therapy when Erina’s situation was infinitely more serious. That girl was in danger!
I hoped I’d have another Linus dream. It would be a massive improvement.
But the subconscious never does as it’s told.
Thursday: The Lover Who Came in from the Cold
30
The alarm clock came as a bit of a shock. I’d managed to get a fair amount of sleep, but it hadn’t been a deep sleep. The only reason I’d nodded off at all was because I’d thought, To hell with all the moralistic claptrap crapola! Stop being too hard on yourself!
These people needed me.
OK, so I had no training as a shrink. And I didn’t really know what I was doing. But the people I’d seen so far seemed to like what I was coming up with. I was helping them make progress in their lives. So why should I refuse to help? It was better than them having to deal with everything all on their own until the real psycho woman came back.
I’d been feeling guilty for no good reason at all. I should just keep on following my instincts.
I’d also received a reassuring message from dear old Ma. A love song. We’ve always been a romantic bunch in our family. All hearts and flowers and all that jazz. My mother sent me love songs more often than not, actually. It was a great number by Blondie! “Call Me” . . . Cover me in kisses or something. I can’t remember the words, but the tune is amazing! Good pick, Mom!
We ate at the breakfast bar. It was all very high tech. I sang the song and felt pretty cheery. Sabrina was being a bit of a slowpoke that morning, though. I asked her what was up.
“My tummy hurts.”
That worried me. My little girl is hardly ever ill, and when she is, she never complains.
“You need to go straight back to bed, big girl. Go and sleep. No school for you today. Climb into Mommy’s big bed, OK? I’ll come in to see you and take your temperature. I won’t be long. You try to stay nice and calm and peaceful while I take the girlios to school.”
Emma banged her little butt down on the floor.
“No. We’re not going to school either. Not if Sabrina isn’t,” she said with a pout.
“What? You can’t do everything exactly the same as Sabrina all the time! You’re going to grow up to be free-thinking, independent women! And free-thinking, independent women have to go to school. Do you want to be free?”
“Yes. But we also want to protect Sabrina from Pirate Anorak,” Emma continued.
“That’s enough of that! You little ones are going to school and that’s the end of the discussion! Period.”
Emma turned into a hysterical were-hyena. That’s the only way I can describe it. I’d never, ever seen her like that. She’s always so soft, so easy, and here she was screaming so loud I thought she’d spew her guts. And it went on. And on. She rolled all over the floor. Kicked! Howled! A full-on tantrum!
I was furious at first, but the longer it continued, the more I felt sorry for her. I couldn’t believe my little fairy girl (who was normally just about the sweetest thing on this earth) had turned into a monster. We were having a bit of a Hulk moment. I tried to put myself in her position. She really believed that her big sis was in danger. She didn’t want to leave her to face it without backup. So, one day off school wouldn’t be the end the world. Nobody would die. I mean, summer vacation was coming up in a few days, anyway. No biggie.
Lisa was gobbling down some cereal I’d found in the cupboard, keeping a close eye on Emma. Pastis joined the group and meowed desperately. He hates it when my chubbettes are upset. I’ve never known him to not want to get involved.
We all waited, hoping Emma would join us back in the real world. As she ran out of breath at the end of one particularly long squawk, I slipped in, “Are you done yet with these frantic antics? You can stay with Sabrina just this once, even though you don’t have a fever. Tomorrow, you go back to school, understood?” Lisa dropped her spoon on the floor and gazed up at me pleadingly. I cracked with her too. “That goes for you too, Lisa. You’re staying home today.”
“No. I don’t want to stay. I really like school. But I want to stay with Emma. I like being with Emma. I don’t know what to pick. School or Emma? School, I think.”
Emma charged into our bedroom to announce to Sabrina that she was staying home. Pastis ran behind her, not wanting to miss out on any fun.
Léo was just about ready to head off. He didn’t look all that cheerful.
“Léo, I’ll shuffle along with you some of the way. I’m dropping Lisa off at school, OK? Listen girls, I’m going now, but I won’t be long.”
Before I left, I found some vitamin C chewables in the boss’s bathroom cabinet. I gave a couple to Sabrina and made sure I tucked her in really tight.
“I want you to be careful,” I said to Emma. “You’re going to be on your own now for about thirty minutes. You open that door to nobody. No. Body! I want you to both stay in this room. Don’t go onto the terrace. Don’t make anything to eat. Don’t go into the bathroom. I’m counting on you, Emma.”
I know, it sounded like I was trying to protect them from a horde of serial killers in some freaky movie or something, but you really never can be too careful with kids.
We took the bus. Léo got off a couple of stops before us. As soon as I’d dropped my Lisa off, I sped back to the apartment like lightning.
When I returned, Laroche was already in the stairwell, waiting for me. I didn’t say a word. We walked up to the apartment together and I opened up, letting him go in ahead of me. He headed straight over to the living room and sat down in one of the big comfy armchairs. He got a laptop out of his bag.
I heard voices in the hallway. The little ones were playing with Pastis. I heard the dressing-room-closet-whatever-it-was door clack shut. I remembered what Léo had mentioned the night before and went to open it. There was nobody in there. Must have just been the wind. I closed the door again. Sabrina hopped up onto the bed. She was full of the giggles. Pastis jumped up to join her, lying across her little belly. He was purring his head off.
“Everything all right with you two?” I asked.
“Yes, Mommy, yes,” both my daughters replied in unison. “The doorbell rang, but we didn’t answer it,” explained Emma.
“I get the feeling that you two little monkeys are as pleased as punch not to be at school, am I right? But I’m warning you, Sabrina—you have to let me work today!”
“Nice and quietly! Help people fix their sad heads,” sang Emma.
I frowned. What an understanding she had of the world already!
“I have to do a lot of laundry. Those people who are telling me about why they’re unhappy . . . that’s not really my job. I help them because they ask me to. That’s all. I’m good at curing them. Don’t worry, Sabrina. A day off from school with Mommy will have you feeling right as rain again. You’ll be cured too!”
I went to the kitchen to clean up the bomb site that had been left behind after breakfast. I kept on talking to her, not sure if she could hear me from so far away.
“Sabrina, listen to Mommy’s funny song! Inch’ballah! Mektoub! Hayah Katouv! Yeah, yeah! Life’s something you’ve got to get on with!” I was just spouting gibberish to make her laugh. Good for morale. “Advienne que pourra! Qui vivra verra! Que sera sera—whatever will be, will be . . .”
“Say, do you think you could turn the volume down a notch?” asked Laroche.
“No way! You think you’re going to try and stop me singing as well as working? Do you want to put a muzzle on me while we’re at it?”
Pastis, who must have heard my voice, came running into the room and jumped up onto the table to listen to me. At least I had one fan in that house.
I didn’t hear that there’d been a knock at the door or that Emma had opened up. A voice made me nearly jump out of my skin.
“Excuse me, Madame Maldonne, but your little girl opened the door . . .”
It was Bintou. She wasn’t wearing her African clothes but a very straight, tailored skirt and fitted jacket. She looked every part the businesswoman extraordinaire.
“Well, hi there, Bintou,” I replied. “Please call me Cricri. It’d be a lot simpler.”
The whole Madame thing was still causing me to break out in hives. How old did this broad think I was?
“Did you knock or ring the bell? Weird that I didn’t hear a thing. Have you been waiting long? Did you eat breakfast already?”
“No. I’m here for another consultation. What do you think about what I’m wearing today? I haven’t dressed like this in some time. Since I burned out, in fact.”
I pushed Pastis out of the way. I knew that most people can’t stand the sight of a cat on a dining table. I put a cup of coffee down in front of her as she took a seat.
The kids showed up.
“Is there something you two want?” I asked.
I put my hand to Sabrina’s forehead and noticed that her temperature had gone down. The vitamin C was doing its job. No more burning out for Bintou. Now no more burning up for my baby.
“Can we watch some TV?”
The screen in the living room was so big, you’d have thought we’d all gone to the movie theater. They sat down on the big sofa and cuddled up together. I put a cartoon channel on for them.
“She had a tummy ache this morning and she was all clammy,” I explained to Bintou. “I decided not to send her to school. I’ve been
paying too much attention to everyone else and not enough to her. It’s classic!”
Pastis jumped up onto my neck. There were a couple of strangers around and he wanted to show them who was boss.
I noticed something odd. Both my girls had their heads turned toward the terrace as if the show was happening outside and not on the big screen. I tried to get a look at what they might be seeing, but I didn’t spot a thing.
“Is there something specific you’d like to talk to me about?”
“Um. No. I’ll wait for our session.” She was staring at the TV, her eyes glazed over. “Did you see that guy? That pyromaniac guy, Victor Falso? According to the papers, he’s a massive attention seeker. He’s been trying to recreate the world with a couple of fireworks or something. Like the Big Bang.”
“You mean like a jazz thing? He’s a musician?”
“No! Not big band! Big Bang! You know, the world started with the Big Bang? This guy has a serious God complex, I’d say.”
“Oh yes. Wait a minute. I think I saw something about the Big Bang on TV. Those scientist brothers, the Bogdanov brothers? They were talking about it on TV. Wow! That’s some serious shit! Didn’t he do it at the library? Has he hurt anyone yet with all this fire nonsense? Burn anyone?”
“No, he’s just interested in the actual flames. He doesn’t want to burn anyone . . .”
Emma slugged over to me and pulled on the bottom of my shorts.
“Jutht leave Mommy alone!” Sabrina shouted. “I told you not to make her worry! You really are a baby! You believe everything I thay!”
Emma shrugged. “Mommy? Why is Pirate Anorak on the balcony? He’s holding onto the edge of it! He’s going to fall!”
“Well, yes, people can’t go hanging on balconies forever. They usually fall.” I studied the terrace again. There wasn’t anything happening out there. “See? There’s nobody on the balcony! No pirates out there! Not today!” I took her over to the sliding door so she could take a look for herself. “See? Nothing.”
Emma seemed sad but still stared at me as if she felt superior. She obviously thought she was still right about the whole thing. Sabrina whistled. My tiny tot ran back over to join big sis. Sabrina made a gesture with her hands as if to say, See, I told you so!
