“I can reapply.” He said the words, but felt no accompanying sense of excitement. At this particular moment, he didn’t know what the hell he wanted.
She blinked. “You mean you’d have to go through the whole process all over again?”
“That’s the way it works.”
“But you’re a hotshot! How long have you been retired?”
“Two and half weeks.”
“Then the paperwork on you won’t even have been processed! All you have to do is make a phone call to your commanding officer. I’m sure he’ll pull strings for the legendary Hawk!”
He pursed his lips. “A phone call right now could also be premature.”
“Why?”
It was time to change the subject.
“What aren’t you telling me?” Her eyes implored him, as if what he had to say really mattered.
“Dad’s marriage might not last. Then Rick and I will be back at square one.”
“Did his new wife say or do something that’s alarmed you and your brother?”
Unable to stay seated during this kind of inquisition, Nate got up to gather their plates and his soda can. To his chagrin, Laurel followed him into the kitchen in her stockinged feet.
“I can tell you’re upset.” She put a hand on his arm. “Nate, are you afraid to talk about it for fear of being disloyal to your dad?”
He wished she wasn’t standing so close to him. He didn’t want her to touch him again.
“Let’s just say I have my reservations about things working out for them.”
“I see.” Her hand fell away. “I’m sorry if it sounded like I was prying. It’s none of my business. Chalk it up to my concern that the Air Force may have lost another of its best.” She left the kitchen.
Damn. He’d hurt her when that was the last thing he’d wanted to do. After he’d cleaned up the lunch mess, he walked back to the study, where he found her resting on the couch.
Their eyes met.
“I appreciate your concern, Laurel.”
“But you can’t talk about it,” she murmured. “I’ve been there before. I should’ve known better.”
I know you’ve been there.
She was still missing Spade so badly she hadn’t opened up to Nate about him yet. He’d thought sharing happy memories of her husband was what this day was supposed to be about. It hadn’t been, not even close.
A haunting smile broke the corners of her mouth. “Forgive me?”
“You know better than to ask me that,” he said thickly. “I’d better go so you can follow your doctor’s advice.”
She didn’t try to stop him. That told him all he needed to know.
“Thank you for everything today,” she called to him as he left the den.
He turned to look at her one more time. “It was my pleasure. Are you still figuring on the same due date?”
“Yes, but the doctor says it could be sooner.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Is there anything I can do for you before I leave?”
“I’m perfect, thanks. Julie ought to be home soon.”
You’re lying. Covering up. You can’t wait for me to get out of here so you can break down.
“Say hi to her for me.”
“I will. Drive safely.”
“You must be confusing me with Rick.”
“No. Top guns are notorious for maneuvering their vehicles ten feet off the ground if they can get away with it.”
Is that what Spade did?
Hollowness welled up inside him.
“Take care, Laurel.”
She held back her tears until she heard the Blazer door shut. Then she started to cry: convulsively and uncontrollably.
Ten minutes later she felt an arm go around her. “Laurel, what’s the matter? I heard your sobs the second I walked in the front door. Where’s Nate? I expected him still to be here.”
Laurel lifted her head from the cushion. “I guess he had other things to do.” She eased herself to her other side so she could see Julie, who’d knelt down by the couch. Her sister looked anxious.
“Is something wrong with the baby?”
She shook her head. “The baby’s fine. It’s me. There’s something horribly wrong with me.”
“Then why didn’t Dr. Steel put you in the hospital?”
“I’m sorry,” Laurel cried. “I didn’t mean physically. I think maybe I’m losing my mind.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I don’t know. I’m just a jumbled mass of feelings and contradictions. Maybe I need a psychiatrist.”
“If you’re worried about having the baby, remember Brent and I will be there for you all the way.”
Laurel’s eyes filled with fresh tears. “I know that, Julie. You’re both wonderful. But that’s not what this is about.”
“Did Nate say something that disturbed you?”
“Not exactly.” Laurel sat up with a sniff. “If anything, I’m upset about what he wouldn’t tell me. I wanted him to confide in me, but he left too soon.” She grasped Julie’s arm and took a shuddering breath.
“It shouldn’t have mattered to me if he wanted to go,” she went on. “After all, he was Scott’s friend, not mine. That’s the whole point! That’s what’s wrong!” she cried out, struggling to her feet. “I know I should be thinking about Scott. This is his baby, but—”
“But Nate Hawkins has arrived on the scene.”
“Why should that make any difference?”
Her sister stood up. “What happened while you were with Nate today?”
She averted her eyes. “Nothing. He took me to the doctor’s, then brought me back and made our lunch. After he did the dishes, he left.”
“Laurel, this is your sister talking. I know you. Something went on while you were with him. No matter how guilty you feel, tell me.”
“Why do you say that?” she snapped. She knew she was reacting defensively because her sister had just put her finger on the problem.
“Guilt is the only emotion that makes you evasive,” Julie said frankly. “If I’m wrong, then look at me.”
With the greatest reluctance she obeyed her sister. “You’re not wrong,” she admitted in a shaky whisper.
“Go on.”
“When he left a little while ago, I didn’t want him to leave.”
“What’s so terrible about that? He’s a terrific guy.”
“I know.”
“And he’s probably one of the best-looking men you or I will ever meet.”
Laurel moaned. “I agree.”
“So what great sin have you committed?”
Once again Laurel’s cheeks felt hot. “I—I’m attracted to him.”
“Who isn’t?”
“You know what I mean, Julie.”
“I’m not sure I do.”
“Stop teasing! How could I feel like this when I’m about to have Scott’s baby?”
“Feel like what?” she prodded.
“Like everything’s exciting again. This morning while he was helping me out of the Blazer…I hoped he’d put his arms around me.”
“That’s because life goes on and you’ve met a real man,” Julie said. “One who’s worthy of you. My dear sister, you don’t need a psychiatrist to tell you that.”
“No,” she confessed. “But he was only being kind to me because I pushed to see him after our dinner party. When he left the house just now, he didn’t tell me he’d call again, or come by.”
“Nate must have said something.”
“He asked how soon the baby was due. When I told him, he said he’d keep it in mind. Then he was out the door.”
“Cheer up. As long as he didn’t say, ‘Goodbye, I’m going overseas,’ I don’t know what you’re worried about.”
Laurel stared into space. “I hope you’re right, Julie. The thought of never seeing him again—”
The phone rang in the background.
“I’ll get it!” Laurel cried, hurrying past Julie to the kitchen. What if it was Nate and he
hung up before she answered?
“Hello?” Ooh—she shouldn’t have moved that fast. Now she had a painful stitch in her side.
“Laurel, dear—”
She closed her eyes tightly. “Reba?”
“I’m glad it’s you. Ever since our last conversation I’ve wanted to apologize. Of course you couldn’t have flown out to Philadelphia at this stage of your pregnancy. So Dad and I decided to surprise you.”
Her mind reeled. “Surprise me?”
Julie had just entered the kitchen, looking alert.
“Yes. We’re in Denver with everyone’s showers gifts. Dad booked us a room at the Turquoise Inn here in Aurora.”
Laurel felt as if she might faint from shock. “When did you arrive?”
“We reached the motel about ten minutes ago.”
What? Julie mouthed the word.
Just a minute, Laurel mouthed the words back.
“Don’t worry. We have a rental car to get around. The last thing we want to do is inconvenience you or Julie. Your mother tells me your sister is pregnant, too. Isn’t that amazing?”
“Yes.” Laurel could barely talk.
“How soon can we see you, dear? Would this afternoon be all right?”
She bit her lip so hard she could taste blood. “Later in the day would be fine.” Her eyes swerved to Julie’s for confirmation. Her sister nodded.
“We can’t wait to see you!”
Laurel cleared her throat. “It’ll be wonderful to see you too, Reba.”
“Shall we say four?”
“Four will be fine.”
“Can you give us instructions on how to get there? I’ll write them down for Dad.”
“Let me find Julie. She knows Aurora much better than I do. Just a minute.”
She grabbed her sister’s arm and pulled her into the dining room. “I can’t believe it,” she whispered. “My in-laws are here!”
“You’re kidding! For how long?”
“I don’t know. All she told me was that they’re staying at the Turquoise Inn and need directions to get to your house. I’m sorry, Julie. She should’ve given me warning.”
“If she’d done that, you would have put her off. She’s determined to see you.” Julie sighed. “Sounds like she’s running true to form.”
“They’ve brought shower gifts from the family.”
“I guess a party’s in order. I’ll get dinner started.”
“No, you won’t! After I open presents, I’ll go out to a restaurant with them.”
“The doctor wants you off salt.”
“I can order a vegetable salad.”
“Then go to the Mesquite Steak and Grill. It’s right by Fordham’s.”
“Good idea. It’s not too far for Wendell to drive, and neither of us will have to slave in the kitchen.”
They both returned to the kitchen. Laurel picked up the phone. “Reba? Here’s Julie. See you at four.”
“We’re counting the minutes, Lori Lou.” Her father-in-law’s pet name for her.
“Wendell?”
“How’s the little mother-to-be doing?”
“I’m fine. How are you?”
“I’ll be a lot better when I see you. We’ve missed you. It isn’t the same without you and Scotty.”
Laurel’s guilt intensified. “I’ve missed everyone, too. It’ll be marvelous to see you again. Hang on, Wendell. Julie’s going to tell you how to get here from the motel.”
Dazed by her conflicting emotions, she thrust the phone at her sister.
Oh, dear God. Help me.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“I THOUGHT we were going to do this project together.”
Nate put the last of his mother’s sweaters in the box before glancing at his brother, who’d just entered their parents’ bedroom.
“I got back early. When I saw you’d already brought the boxes over from the store, I decided to get a head start.”
Rick grabbed an empty one and started packing their mom’s dresses and robes from the closet. Years of loving memories flashed through Nate’s mind as he watched her clothes being removed from hangers only to disappear.
Their dad’s suits and shirts remained. Her half of the closet stood empty. His eyes stung.
“How’s everything at the track? Any of your old friends around?”
“Chip was there. We chatted for a while. He’s in the middle of a messy divorce, and his wife is fighting to deprive him of his visitation rights. She’s moved to Denver. Doesn’t want their children to grow up with a racetrack for a backyard.”
“Isn’t that marriage number two?” Nate started packing their mother’s shoes and handbags. One of them had a wallet with some old snaps of the family. He removed the pictures and put them in his pocket.
Rick nodded. “Dad predicted it wouldn’t last.”
“Did you ever notice how he’s always been right about people and relationships?”
“Notice!” He laughed almost angrily. “Why do you think I’m terrified to settle down? Dad warned me a race car driver’s chances of establishing a solid marriage were shaky at best.”
“I got the same warning,” Nate muttered.
He didn’t have to look at Rick to know they were both thinking the same thing. Their father was a man who’d seemed to have such a clear and decisive understanding of life. How could he have done something that went against the kind of wise counsel he’d given them since they were little boys?
“Did things go okay with Laurel?”
Just hearing her name had the power to knock the wind out of him.
“I took her to the doctor, then fixed us lunch because she’s on a salt-free diet. We talked for a little while and then I took off.”
He’d packed his mom’s jewelry box and begun to empty the dresser drawers. All they needed to do was go through the end tables at either side of the king-size bed, discard her toiletries from the bathroom and their bittersweet task would be finished.
Pretty soon there’d be no evidence of their mother’s thirty-year life in this house. Not in the bedroom anyway.
“Are you going to see Laurel again?”
“No. All debts are paid. The book is officially closed on Spade’s widow.”
“It’s strange how you always refer to her like that. Why don’t you just use her name?”
“Because that’s how I think of her. She’s still in love with her husband and always will be.”
“Did she tell you that outright?”
“She didn’t have to. In any case, none of it matters.”
“If that’s true, how come you’re looking so angry?”
Nate’s head jerked around. “What are you talking about?”
“The last time I saw you this wound up, she’d had the audacity to approach you on the dance floor. You wouldn’t by any chance be blaming her for something else she isn’t aware of….”
He didn’t know how Rick did it, but his brother had better instincts than a hunting dog bearing down on its prey.
“She asked me why I didn’t attend Spade’s funeral. I explained, and one thing led to another. I thought if I told her about the events leading up to the night of Dad’s wedding dinner, she’d understand why my mood was so savage.”
“But she didn’t?”
“The fact that Dad remarried after six months washed right over her. She interpreted everything I told her to mean I was upset because flying was my life and I’d given it up.”
Rick cocked his head. “There’s more than a kernel of truth in that. Admit it.”
“That might’ve been the case once. Now I’m not so sure.”
“But she doesn’t know that, and she was married to a pilot,” he continued. “Not just any pilot. According to you, Spade was the best of the best.”
“He was. That’s why he’ll always be bigger than life to her. And once she has his baby, those feelings will never change.”
“If you’re saying you think Laurel Pierce is going to go through the rest of
her life without a man, then you need a physical to find out what’s wrong with you. How old is she?”
“Spade said she was two years younger than he was. I guess she’d be twenty-eight.”
“She’s still a young woman. Once her baby’s born and her life gets back to normal, the men will be camped outside her door.”
He suddenly remembered the guys flocking around her photographs in the barracks. And the male diners staring at her as she walked into Fordham’s Pancake House.
“I’m putting you on notice now….”
Nate turned to his brother. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He’d loaded his arms with boxes. “I plan on asking her out. I hope that’s okay with you. If it isn’t, tell me after I come back from the basement.”
“Even if you were serious, I’d have no problem with it,” Nate muttered.
“Thanks. That’s all I needed to hear.”
Without wasting any time, Nate scooped up the rest of the boxes and followed Rick down two flights of stairs to the storage room. They worked in silence, arranging places on shelves for the boxes.
Rick dusted his hands. “I guess that’s it. All we have to do now is give the bedroom and bathroom a good cleaning.”
“The whole house could use one.”
“We’ll tackle it in the morning. Hey, look what Chip gave me. He said these were payback for a favor I did him last year.” Rick produced two tickets. “The Nuggets are playing the Jazz tonight. What do you say we drive to Denver for a steak dinner, then head over to the basketball game?”
Now that they’d removed all of their mom’s things from the master bedroom, Nate had the feeling Rick was as anxious to leave the house as he was.
“Those tickets couldn’t have come at a better time. Let’s get ready and go.”
They started up the stairs.
“Before I shower, give me Laurel’s phone number. I’d like to make plans with her for Monday night.”
Rick was starting to get on his nerves.
“I don’t know what I did with her letter. You’ll have to look it up.”
“Okay. Brent said he was in the phone book.”
When they reached the foyer, Nate watched Rick head for the den while he continued upstairs. From the doorway of his room he saw his brother disappear into his own bedroom carrying the directory. He closed the door behind him.
Another Man's Wife Page 11
