by Naomi Niles
“Daddy died in a car accident,” she said softly.
“Yes, he did,” I said. “But that accident was much bigger than ours.”
“Do you think Daddy was scared?”
I swallowed hard and reminded myself to be strong. I always knew she would start asking questions at some point. The older she got, the better she would be able to articulate them. I had always promised myself that I wouldn’t avoid those questions. I would be as honest as I was capable of being.
“Yes, I think he might have been,” I replied.
“I wish…I could have made him not scared,” Renni said, in a confused sentence.
I smiled at her. “Me, too, darling. Me, too.”
She seemed to distract herself with the bubbles forming on her arms. I finished scrubbing her down and then when she was clean; I pulled her out of the tub and wiped her dry. She dressed by herself before I settled her into her little single bed.
“Mommy?”
“Yes, angel?”
“Will you stay with me till I fall asleep?”
“Of course,” I nodded as I slipped into the bed beside her.
There was barely any room for me, but I didn’t mind. The discomfort was worth it just to be near Renni. I played with her hair like Clint used to do when she was a baby. It had been a trick he had honed early on. Play with Renni’s hair for long enough, and she would go out like a light.
“You were so brave tonight, my little rabbit,” I whispered to Renni, as her eyelids grew heavier and heavier. “Never underestimate how strong you are.”
When her eyelids had fused shut and her breath was calming in steady peaceful sighs, I disentangled myself from her little body and slipped out of her room. I walked to my room and collapsed onto the bed without bothering to turn on the lights. I stared up at my dark ceiling, reliving the moment I had lost control of the wheel.
And just like that, all the emotion I had been holding in all night came pouring out of me. The tears slipped free from my eyes, and I sobbed into my bed until my body was shaking from exhaustion.
We had come so close tonight. I had almost lost my daughter in the same way I had lost my husband. Could life really be that cruel? Could lightning really strike twice?
I clung to a pillow, trying to find some comfort in the soft shape. But at the end of the day, a pillow couldn’t hug you back. I realized that what I was craving was the warmth of human contact, and all I had was an empty room to hear my despair. I sat up in bed in the dark for the longest time, staring into the nothingness, remembering in fragments the life I used to lead and how it had turned into the life I was leading now.
My thoughts were erratic, but I didn’t try and rein them in. I just wanted the freedom of wallowing for a few hours. “Clint,” I said out loud, to my silent room. “Clint…” There was no answer.
I fell asleep around three in the morning with my head filled with images of crashing cars, silver ice, and a beautiful, peaceful hazel that made my heart beat a little faster.
“Mommy?” Renni’s voice broke through the fog of exhaustion that cocooned my body. “Mommy?”
“Yes, darling,” I said, trying to open my eyes.
“Mommy, I have to get to school.”
My eyes shot open and I sat up immediately. “Oh my God,” I breathed. “What time is it?”
“I’m not sure,” she replied.
I glanced at the clock. I had overslept by half an hour. There was enough time to get ready, but we would be rushed. “Sorry, sweetheart,” I said. “I forgot to set the alarm last night. Will you get ready for me, please?”
Renni nodded and disappeared into her room. I brushed my teeth quickly and had a quick cat wash before pulled on a black pencil skirt and a blue silk blouse. I ran my fingers through my hair as I rushed into the kitchen and rummaged through the fridge for a fast breakfast option. There was cereal, but Renni must have been the only kid in the world who didn’t like cereal.
I spooned some yogurt into a bowl and cut up some bananas and strawberries, which I added. That would have to suffice for breakfast today. I was pouring myself a cup of black coffee when I realized that I had no mode of transport today.
“Damn it!” I said through gritted teeth.
“Mommy!” Renni gasped. Of course, she had come in at the exact moment I had decided to swear. “That’s a bad word.”
“I know, I’m worry,” I said quickly. “It’s just that-”
My own phone interrupted me. Wrinkling my brows, I glanced at the unknown number across my screen. I hesitated for only a moment before I picked up.
“Hello?”
“So I figured since you don’t have a car this morning, that you might need a ride somewhere?”
“I… Who is this?” I asked flustered.
“This is Sam, remember? The fire fighter from last night.”
“Oh,” I said, in shock. “Right.”
“Am I right in thinking you might need a lift?”
“Umm…actually-”
“I have no problem giving you a ride.”
“I don’t want to impose.”
“It’s not an imposition at all,” he replied. “In fact, it would be my pleasure.”
I smiled, feeling myself soften. I glanced at Renni, who was eating her yogurt and made a split second decision. “Well, in that case… I would really appreciate that.”
“Great,” Sam replied enthusiastically. “Just text me your address, and I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
“Okay,” I nodded, before I hung up.
“Who was that, Mommy?” Renni asked curiously.
“I… That was…a friend,” I told her, unable to keep the smile from my face.
Chapter Nine
Sam
I was heading to my pick up in excitement when Jackson caught me. “Hey, man,” he said. “Where are you running off to?”
I eyed the papers in his hand, momentarily distracted. “What’s that all about?”
“I need you to sign a couple of these papers for me,” he replied. “It’s for the bar, just a couple of financial statements.”
“Oh,” I said, glancing at the time. “Umm…can’t you do that?”
“I’m afraid these documents need both owners’ signatures on them,” he replied. “Sorry, man, I need them in a rush.”
“You mean, right now?”
“Yeah…”
I shook my head at him. “Why is everything last minute with you?”
He gave me a sheepish smile. “I’m working on that.”
“Well, I can’t really read them through properly now,” I said. “I’m heading over to Mia’s place now to give her a ride.”
“Mia?”
“The girl from last night,” I reminded him.
“Oh, right,” Jackson nodded. “Damn, that was fast.”
“I’ve got game,” I said, with a smug smile.
“Apparently,” he laughed. “Don’t worry about reading through the statements. It’s really straightforward, and I have a great CPA, in any case. All I need is your signature on the bottom line.”
I glanced at the papers and nodded. This was Jackson, after all, and I could trust him. “Hand them over,” I said. I signed three separate documents against the window of my pick up and then handed them back to Jackson.
“There.”
“Thanks, man,” he said. “I really appreciate this.”
“No worries,” I said. “Now I’ve got to get going.”
I checked the location Mia had sent me and headed in that direction. It didn’t take me long before I got to a small suburban neighborhood. Mia’s house was one of the smaller ones on the lane. It had a large tree out front that gave shade to her small front yard. It was also one of the only single story houses in the area. I parked by the curb and walked to the door.
I had barely knocked once before the door flew open. I took a moment to appreciate how beautiful Mia was. My memory from last night did not do her justice.
She was
dressed nicely, in a black pencil skirt that hugged her shapely hips perfectly. She had paired the skirt with a blue silk blouse with billowy sleeves and a sharp V neckline. Her dark brown hair fell loose around her shoulders, and her green eyes were on full display. She looked amazing.
“Good morning,” I said.
“Sam!” Renni’s voice called from the hallway.
Mia smiled. “She’s just finishing up her breakfast, would you mind coming in for five minutes?”
“No problem,” I said, stepping into her home.
As I had expected, it was a small house, but it was obviously homey. There were tons of personal touches all over the place and the kind of mess that made any house feel lived in. Renni ran up to me in jeans and a bright pink t-shirt with white butterflies on the front. Her hair was a complete mess, but Renni didn’t seem to notice.
“Nice outfit,” I told her. “You look ready for school.”
“I did my hair, too,” she said proudly.
“I can see that,” I nodded. “That’s some great skill you’ve got.”
I couldn’t help but smile at the way she beamed at me. She had the sort of pure innocence you didn’t find much nowadays. Nice kids were so hard to come by. In my experience, they were usually stubborn and bratty.
“Have you had breakfast?” Mia asked. “There’s food in the fridge.”
“I had my breakfast, thank you,” I assured her.
Mia nodded and turned to Renni. “Are you ready, darling?” she asked. “We can’t take too much of Sam’s time.”
I was conscious of the fact that Mia was slightly uncomfortable with having to accept my help. She seemed a little flustered with the mere fact of having me in her house. Luckily, Renni kept up a steady stream of conversation as we piled into the pick up and headed for her school.
“This is your school?” I asked, as we pulled outside Daybridge Kindergarten.
“Uh-huh,” Renni nodded.
“I went here, too,” I told her.
Her eyes went wide. “Really?”
“Yup,” I nodded. “All my brothers did, too.”
“How many brothers do you have?” Renni asked.
“Four.”
“Wow,” she said, as her eyes grew a little wider.
Mia smiled. “That must have been one noisy house.”
“I was,” I agreed.
“I wish I had a brother,” Renni said.
“Come on, sweetheart,” Mia said quickly. “We need to get you in school.”
“Aw,” Renni said as her small face dropped a little.
“Say thank you to Sam.”
“Thank you, Sam,” she said immediately, giving me a bright smile. “Thank you for saving me yesterday. And, thank you for giving me a ride today.”
“Hey, it was truly my pleasure, little lady,” I told her. “You can give me a call anytime you need help.”
Renni’s smile got bigger. “Can I tell my friends that you said that?” she asked.
“Sure thing,” I nodded. “Go crazy.”
She looked delighted as Mia helped her out of the pick up and walked her into the school. I watched as Mia knelt down beside her daughter and spoke to her for a few moments. Then she gave her a kiss on the forehead and sent her off into the building. She seemed a little nervous as she got back into the truck and put on her seat belt.
“Where to?” I asked.
“City Hall,” she replied.
“You work in City Hall?” I asked, extremely impressed.
“Next to city hall, actually,” she replied. “But I’m in and out all the time. I might as well work from there.”
“You’re a lawyer?”
“I work for a project innocence firm,” she replied. “I’ve worked with them for three years now.”
“Wow, that’s impressive,” I said honestly. “Juggling parenthood and a full-time career can’t be easy.”
She smiled, but there was a sad edge to her smile. “I do the best I can, but I still don’t think it’s good enough.”
“Women are too hard on themselves,” I said. “You guys do ten times more than a man would, and you still feel as though you’re slacking somehow.”
That got a smile out of her. “You think so?”
“Course.”
Much too soon, I pulled up outside Mia’s building. She turned to me with those bright green eyes ,and I felt my heart falter a little. “I’d be happy to pick you up this evening,” I blurted out.
Her eyebrows rose a little. “That’s…not necessary,” she said. “Thank you, it’s a really sweet offer, but I’m renting a car today until mine is repaired.”
“Oh,” I said, a little disappointed. “Are you sure?”
“Positive,” she nodded.
“Mia?”
“Yes?”
“I’d like to take you out to dinner sometime…any time you’re free,” I said.
There was a shadow that passed over her eyes as I asked the question. She looked at me for a moment before giving me a small smile that gave me my answer before she had said a word.
“I’m sorry, Sam,” she said. “I appreciate you asking, but…this is not a good time for me. I hope you understand.”
“Oh…of course,” I said, in a gentlemanly manner, trying to cover up my disappointment.
“Thank you so much for all you’ve done,” Mia said. She gave me a parting smile and then stepped out of my pick up and disappeared into the building. Sighing, I headed over to Pete’s place, feeling the need for a distraction.
I noticed Madison’s vehicle was sitting outside the house. She must have set out for work already. I walked into the house to the smell of bacon and cheese and found Peter and Mom in the kitchen. By the looks of it, they had just sat down to their breakfast.
“Hi,” I greeted.
“What’s wrong?” Peter asked immediately.
“What makes you think something’s wrong?” I asked.
“Your face.”
I stuck my tongue out at him like a five year old and glossed over the moment with my juvenile sense of humor. I wasn’t interested in talking about Mia just yet, especially given that I wasn’t planning on giving up anytime soon. Her rejection had set a fire under me and I knew I wasn’t going to let up until she gave me a chance.
A part of me wondered why I was so adamant about going out with her. She was obviously not the right girl for me. She was older, mature, responsible, and had a child. Even if she was looking to meet someone, she probably wasn’t looking for something casual. And when it came to women, casual was my thing. Was it really wise to involve myself with a woman that I was only going to disappoint later? I wondered
“Sam?”
“Huh?”
“Where are you this morning?” Mom asked. “You seem a little distracted?”
“Oh, I’m just a little tired,” I replied. “I just came off a long shift.”
“I heard about the accident by the lake,” Peter said. “Nice job, little brother. I was proud to hear that you were the one who pulled out the driver.”
I shrugged. “It was nothing.”
“Nothing?” Mom repeated. “You saved that man’s life.”
“It’s my job.”
“And, it’s a job not many people could do,” she said, with intense pride in her tone. It actually made me uncomfortable, the way she was looking at me. It was as though I were a hero.
Peter laughed. “You’ll soon find, Mom, that Sam is vain when it comes to his looks, but modest when it comes to his profession. It should be the other way around, but there you have it.”
She laughed, and I punched Peter in the arm. “There’s nothing wrong with being honest with yourself,” I said. “And ,I happen to be a good-looking man.”
“All my boys are good looking men,” she said, breaking up our little fist war.
“Sure, sure,” I nodded. “Some just happen to be better looking than others.”
Peter rolled his eyes as I grabbed a piece of bacon from
the center of the table. “Hey, Pete, I was thinking of dropping by Talen’s tomorrow. I haven’t really spoken to him in awhile. You want to join me?”
“I can’t tomorrow,” he replied. “I have to work.”
“Right,” I nodded.
“How is Talen?” Mom asked quietly.
I gave her a small smile. Talen had been the least forthcoming of her sons. He had taken the news that she was back in our lives reasonably well, but had shown no interest in actually spending any quality time with her – maybe it was built up resentment, maybe it was pure disinterest. Either way, I wasn’t quite sure. Talen had always been hard to read.
“I’ll find out tomorrow,” I told her gently.
“Tell him… Tell him that I said hello,” she said. “And, that I asked after him.”
“I will.”
“And, tell him that… I think about him all the time,” she continued. “Tell him I’d like to see him soon.”
I nodded. “I’ll do that, Mom.”
“Thank you, son,” she said with a distracted smile.
Peter and I exchanged a glance when we knew she wasn’t looking. I didn’t want to disappoint her, but I didn’t want to give her false hope, either. But Peter and I both knew that at some point, she might just have to accept that her absence had created a distance between herself and Talen that nothing would be able to fix.
Chapter Ten
Mia
I went into my office and looked out the window, trying to catch a glimpse of Sam’s truck. He would be gone by now, but I still wanted to check.
For a second, I regretted my decision to turn him down. He was a nice guy: good looking, funny, and he had just done me a favor that he didn’t have to do.
I sighed and turned to my desk that was piled high with paperwork, court documents, and subpoenas. I sat down and took a deep breath, putting Sam from my mind. I had a job to do and an innocent man to acquit.
I looked through the paperwork pertaining to Seth Danube. He had been a model citizen up until his arrest four months ago. He had kept his head down and worked hard.
He was a good man – and that ultimately had been his undoing. His trust had led him to help a few unsavory characters, and it was those very people that had landed him behind bars. I was looking over Seth’s history when Helen walked in.
