by Naomi Niles
“What? Yeah, right. That wouldn’t hurt my feelings at all, but it did get me to think about a few things. Settling down one day, you know? Providing some kind of stable parenthood for Vinny. Two parents under the same roof.”
“Well, what about his mom? She isn’t in his life anymore?”
“No, she is there. She just, umm,” I briefly thought back to the relationship we once had. My mother had always told me that she would be the one to get away, and at times, I felt that she was. Even though I knew we weren’t a good fit for each other, I couldn’t shake the “what if” thoughts that popped into my mind from time to time. “She is just doing her own thing, you know? And I am doing mine. I don’t think our paths will ever cross again. Romantically, at least.”
“Yeah, I hear ya. Well, if you do happen to settle down, please hand that little black book of yours over to me. I’ll take good care of everyone in it.”
I laughed. “Yeah, man, I’m sure you would.”
After we finished our workout, Mike suggested that Vinny and I come to his house. He always had some good post-workout drinks to mix up for us, so I never heisatated to stop by when he asked. He lived on the next street over from Vinny and I. “Alright, Vinny, I’ve got some new video games in the room. Why don’t you go on back there and check them out?” Vinny looked at me to make sure it was alright for him to go, then he walked back to Mike’s guest room.
As he walked back to the room, Mike shook his head. “Man, that boy of yours is quiet, isn’t he? Are you sure there is nothing wrong with him?”
I took a seat in the front room, “What do you mean? He is just a quiet boy, that’s all. He is more observant than anything else. Far more mature than any 7-year-old should be. Sometimes I look at him and think he has been here before, you know? He acts like it.”
Mike came back from the kitchen with two drinks in his hand. He tossed me one as he spoke, “Yeah. Maybe he is a boy genius or something. He is probably back there doing algebraic equations instead of playing video games. Little Einstein.”
“Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised at all.”
He sat down next to me on the couch and flipped on the television. The same dating commercial that replayed earlier this morning flashed across the screen. “Look at this shit, man,” Mike scoffed. “People are so fucking lazy these days. All it takes is for someone to go hang out. Go to the gym, work, school. Hell, you can meet people at church. Shit like this is a handicap.”
“Well,” I took a sip of my drink. “I mean, I can see the value of it, especially when people don’t have the time to hang out like normal folks.”
He paused his speech and shifted his attention on me, “Wait a minute, Gavin. You sound like you are giving this thing some thought. You can’t be serious about trying that thing out.”
“I didn’t say I would, but I’ve considered it. I saw the commercial earlier today, and like I said, I am thinking about settling down. I figured that is one of the best ways to do it. It’s like window shopping.” I took another sip of my drink. “Walk around until you find something that catches your eye and then–”
“Fuck her brains out.”
“Mike,” I chuckled, “Come on, man. I am serious right now. I really think I want to settle down.”
“Listen. I hear ya, completely. That crazy ass thought as crossed my mind once or twice before, but shit, I think that the single life is way better than being hitched to someone else. Getting told what to do, where you have to be. Meeting up with in-laws and other people you don’t like because your wife wants you to do it. Shit, I’ve been there before, and this single life is much better. Freedom, Gavin,” he propped his foot on top of his glass table, “to do anything you want at any time. You can’t beat that.”
I heard him, but we were on two different wavelengths. Mike had gone through an ugly divorce three years ago, and I could tell that he was still bitter about how it went down. I expected him to have this kind of mindset, but that wouldn’t sway how I felt. I had never been married before, and I felt like it was time for me to go to another stage of life.
I stayed at Mike’s for another hour before Vinny and I decided to head home. As soon as we got there, Vinny went straight to the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed. It was 8:30 pm when he called me into his room to tuck him in. “Hey, buddy, you all set?”
“Yes, sir.” He climbed into bed and pulled the covers over his body. As I walked closer to him, I noticed a picture of me, him, and his mother just to the side of his pillow. I noticed a few wrinkles on the photo as I picked it up. I smiled with my arm around Karen as Vinny sat between us. He looked to be no more than two years old at the time. It was right before things started going south between me and his mother.
“How long have you had this picture?”
“I took it from Mom’s house about a month ago.”
“Does she know you have it?”
“No. I mean, I don’t think she cares, but she doesn’t know. I just like to sleep next to it because it reminds me of how things used to be.”
His words lingered in the air like a strong fragrance as I tapped the picture in my hand. “Alright bud,” I said, sliding the photo next to his pillow, “it's time for some shut eye.” I kissed him on the forehead and tucked the blanket around his body.
As I walked out of the room, he grabbed my attention. “Dad?”
I put my hand on the light switch, “Yes?”
“Do you think you and mom will ever get back together? Like, do you think we will be a family again?”
I sighed. “I don’t know, Vinny. That’s not my call.” I wanted to put him at ease and tell him that everything would be alright. I knew he was searching for some type of comfort, but I couldn’t give it to him, and I felt horrible because of it. “But, don’t worry about that right now, okay? Just get some rest. We will see how things turn out later.”
“Alright, Dad. Love you.”
“Love you too, kid.”
I shut off his light and left his door cracked, then made my way to the front room. I thought about calling Karen to see what she was up to, but I knew that she would hang up as soon as she found out that I wasn’t calling about Vinny. She didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, and I couldn’t blame her. If I was going to find a wife, I would have to look elsewhere.
Chapter Four
BETHANY
“No, no, Jamie, wait right here.” I reached for her hand and held her close while her parents drove next to the curb. She was one of my favorite students in the school because she reminded me so much of myself when I was her age. Her curiosity and intelligence went hand in hand, and at times, I felt that when she was around, I was speaking to my own daughter.
“Hey, sweetie,” her mother said as she got out of the car.
Jamie wrapped her arms around me and held me tight, “Goodbye, Miss Bethany. I will see you tomorrow.”
“Yes, sweetheart, you sure will.”
She smiled, then ran to her car while her mother held the door open. “You know,” she said, standing a few feet away from me, “it is amazing how that little girl clings to you. When she gets home, all she talks about is Miss Bethany this and Miss Bethany that. I swear she probably wishes that you were her mother.”
I laughed. “No, she doesn’t. She is just a friendly little girl.”
“Friendly? Her?” She looked at her daughter as she pulled the seatbelt around her. “No, she is not friendly at all. You should see how she treats some of my other friends. She does not like them for one reason or another, but somehow, you’ve found a way onto her good side.” She closed the door, then inched closer to me, “Please tell me your secret.”
“No secrets, Mrs. Jamison. I don’t know what it is; I just love the children.”
“And they love you. I can clearly see it.” As she spoke, three more young girls ran up to me and clung to my legs. “You see what I mean?” she added, smiling at the young girls. “Well, I’ll let you go. I guess I will see you tomorrow
.”
“Yes. Same place, same time.”
As she got inside her car, the little girls that were huddled around me beckoned for my attention. I loved my job more and more each day. No matter what I was dealing with in my personal life, it seemed that when I stepped into this building, everything changed. The weight was lifted off my shoulders by warm smiles from the faculty and sweet hugs from the children. I meant a lot to them, and that was all I needed to keep going.
I stayed outside with the children until the last parent came to pick up their child. I didn’t have to do it, but it was something that I always looked forward to at the end of the day. “Alright, James, you be good tonight, okay? Don’t give your mother a hard time.”
“Okay, Miss Bethany. I won’t.”
He climbed into the car, and after they drove away from the school, I heard a voice behind me. “You are so good with them.” I sighed, knowing who it was before I turned around.
When I faced him, he stood behind me in a short-sleeved dress shirt and khakis. Derrick was handsome, in a normal kind of way. His lips were full, and his hair was thinning around the edges. I forced a smile onto my face, “Yes, I try to be. They are my heart.”
“I think it is about time for you to have some of your own. What do you think?”
“Um, I think I need to find a mate before I start having children.”
“A mate?” he smiled. “Well, I MATE be able to help you with that.” I rolled my eyes at him and kept a blank expression on my face. The silence induced him to speak again, “Mate? Might? Did you get the joke?”
“Um, I got it. It just wasn’t funny.” I chuckled a bit to help him save face, “But, it was good talking to you. I need to get my things so I can head home. I’ve got to study tonight for class.”
“Right, college. How is that going along?”
I began walking away from him, but he followed me to the school and quickly grabbed the door for me to walk through, “Good. Almost done.”
“Good. It is so sexy to see that you are furthering your education.”
“Yes. Um, well yeah, I’ve got to go. Thanks for walking me in.”
If it wasn’t for Principal Jones walking down the hallway, I don’t think Derrick would have left me alone. He was more annoying and bothersome than anything else. His persistence didn’t allow him to give up easily, and if he were my type, that would have turned me on a little bit. Then again, if he were my type, he wouldn’t have needed to be persistent.
I gathered my things and left the school. On my way home, my best friend April sent me a text message, asking me to come over. April was like my sister from another mother. I could always lean on her for support during my hard times, and she never hesitated to offer good, sound advice when I needed to make a decision about something. She was like my voice of reason, and I depended on her for that.
I showed up at her home at six. I had a key to her home, and when her husband was gone, I always let myself in. “Honey, I’m hoooome.”
She laughed out loud when she heard my voice, “Girl, you are so silly. I’m in the kitchen.”
I tossed my purse on the couch and saw her in the kitchen, standing over a pot on the stove. She dipped a spoon inside of it, then turned towards me. “Here, I need you to taste this. I think my pregnancy has my taste buds all out of whack.”
Her baby bump showed just beneath her shirt. She was three months pregnant, and she had just begun to show evidence of someone growing inside of her. I put my lips to the spoon. “Wow, this is really good.”
“Really?” she said, placing one hand on her waist. “Be serious, Bethany. I don’t want Alex to come home and throw up because of how nasty it is.”
“No.” I grabbed a bowl from the cabinet, then took the spoon out of her hand, “It is really good. But, maybe it is because I am starving. The only thing I ate today was a bagel. Or two.”
Just before I could dip the spoon back into the pot, she snatched it out my hand, “No! You are not going to put that spoon back in the pot after you’ve had your lips on it already.” She reached into the drawer and grabbed another spoon. “Here, use this.”
“Geez, sorry, MOM.”
She nudged me with her arm, then grabbed another bowl so she could fill it with beef stew. “So, how was your day?”
“It was good as always. I don’t think I have ever had a bad day at work, and that says a lot. I mean, I’ve only been there for a few months, but I just feel so at home there. I love everyone. The faculty. Staff. Students. Everyone makes my day.”
She fixed her bowl, then sat down next to me at the table. “Yeah, I think that is good for you, Bethany. As long as you aren’t allowing that job to curve your desire to finish school.”
I swirled my spoon around in the bowl until I found a nice, juicy chunk of meat and slid it into my mouth. “Well,” I said, speaking in a mumbled voice, “I was thinking that maybe I should take my time with school. I mean, I don’t want to rush through it. I just–”
“You just sound crazy, Bethany. You cannot be an assistant for the rest of your life. You have so much more to offer the world. You can teach. You know you can teach, and I think that is a natural position for you. The way you can connect with children is second to none, but you’re not going to be able to do that if you don’t finish school.”
I sighed. “I know, I know. It’s just that school is taking so much time away from me right now. I mean, I don’t have time to do anything else. I can’t go out and meet anyone, and the guys that show interest in me are the ones that I have no interest in. It sucks, April. It really does.”
“Aww,” she put her spoon down and scooted closer to me. She put her leg on my thigh as her big, blue eyes glared back at me. “Listen, I know you are ready for another relationship, and for that alone, I am proud of you because that last boyfriend of yours should’ve made you hate men for the rest of your life, but I am glad it didn’t.”
“It did for a while; I won’t lie about it. But I didn’t want to become that bitter old woman, old and alone, hating on every relationship because of what happened to me.”
“Good.” She tapped me on my thigh, “So, come on. I’ve been doing some thinking.” She pulled me away from the table, but I grabbed the bowl of stew in the process. When we got to her study, we sat down in front of the computer. “Don’t spill that food on my stuff, Bethany.”
“Well, you’re the one who dragged me off! I said I was hungry.” She rolled her eyes, then pulled up a website. “The Right Click?” I said with a mouthful of stew. “I’ve heard about that dating website. I don’t want to go on there. What if my ex finds me?”
“He won’t. He has to pay to get on here and knowing him, he doesn’t have any money to pay for anything. But, this website is secure, and not only that, it is made for people like you who don’t have time to go out on their own.” She made a few clicks, and suddenly, a page with my picture came up.
I elbowed her in her arm. “April! What did you do? Why is my picture on here?”
“Shush it! I am going to find you a man if it is the last thing I do! I’ve already started your profile. The only thing left to do is to pay for it—” she reached into the drawer and pulled out her credit card, “—and that is what I am about to do right now.”
I grabbed her hand, “Wait. Wait, wait, wait. I don’t want to do this.”
She looked disappointed. Her blue eyes drooped down like a sad puppy. “Why not? Bethany, I am tired of you walking around here and complaining because you don’t have anybody to share your life with. Not only that, but I know you are at home reading those love novels, and it is making everything worse. Stop torturing yourself, Bethany. Give love a try. What do you have to lose? You’re not paying for it. I’ve set up everything for you. You literally have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Please?”
I sighed. I knew she just wanted to help. I glanced at the website. Near the bottom of the screen, pictures of various men scrolled along. A few of them caught my a
ttention. “Wait, click on him right there,” I said with a smile.
She laughed. “So, is that a yes?”
I nodded. “Fine, April. Sign me up.”
“Yaaaaay!” She entered her card information as I waited patiently beside her. “Now, the first week is free, and if it is worth it, then it will charge my card after that. So,” she clicked the submit button, “you are now officially a member of The Right Click!” She clapped her hands with excitement.
“Okay, good. Now go back to that man I saw before.”
As she scrolled the bottom of the page, I could only hope that she was right about my ex. If he found me on here, there was no telling what he would do to try to get me back.
Chapter Five
GAVIN
I sat at the kitchen table, eating breakfast with Vinny. He glared at the back of the cereal box while he piled the frosted meal into his mouth. I hesitated to tell him about our canceled plans for this weekend. I knew he would be disappointed, but I didn’t have a choice. “Vinny?” He peeked his head from behind the cereal box. “I’ve got some bad news. We’re going to have to reschedule our little outing this weekend. Some things came up at the office that I had completely forgotten about.”
He stared at me for a few seconds, then ducked his head back behind the cereal box. “Okay.”
“I will make up for it, I promise. It’s just that–”
“It’s fine, Dad. I understand.”
He slid another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. I don’t know what bothered me more: the fact that he was nonchalant about it or the fact that I had to cancel the plans in the first place. I knew that was his personality though. Even when he was hurt about something, he would hold his emotions in check. I admired that about him because even at my age, I still had problems doing things like that.
After he finished his cereal, he took his bowl to the sink and washed it out, then grabbed his bookbag. “I’m ready, Dad.”
I had to be at work earlier this morning, so I was ready to leave as soon as he was. We got into my car, and I drove him down the street to his bus stop. We sat quietly in the car. He twiddled his thumbs, occasionally looking behind my car to see if the bus was coming. “Dad,” he said, still looking out the window.
