It’s not until she heads out to her vehicle that I take my bag and search through it. Everything is as I left it, including the dollar amount I’ve stashed in the side zipper pocket. She may have counted it, but returned every cent. If she was a common criminal she would have taken the money and took off with it. Why she stayed is beyond me. Whatever she’s scared of has to be a big deal. For tonight I’ll take her up on the offer to stick around, but come tomorrow I’m taking Mila and we’re leaving, whether I can afford it or not. I won’t risk our future for some messed up chick, no matter how sexy she is, or how much beer she has.
Mila falls asleep on my lap while Sadie and I sit on the couch sipping at the cold beers. Without her being our entertainment it’s eerily quiet. I play with her curls while Sadie fidgets. She’s giving me an emo kind of vibe, and not in a bad way. It’s pretty sexy in the way she carries herself. For some reason I want to ask her age and if she’s got a boyfriend, but I think it’s probably my nerves and the couple beers instead of my actual interest. “I’m not real good company right now. I’ve been in a bad way since we’ve been without a home,” I try to explain.
I watch as she reaches in her pocket and tosses a white pill into her mouth. She closes her eyes after gulping a swig of beer. “It’s cool. I like the quiet.”
“Were you around when your dad died?”
“No. We didn’t get along.” She toys with the top to the can, tearing it off and then flicking it on the floor. I’ll grab before I head to bed so Mila doesn’t pick it up and cut herself in the morning. She’s too curious to assume she’d ignore a shiny object.
“I can’t imagine not being a part of my child’s life. She’s everything to me. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep us together.”
This seems to please the withdrawn girl. “I wish my dad felt that way. Every time he looked at me he was reminded of my mother. I think I made him go crazy.”
“That’s not true.”
“You didn’t know him.” She clicks her tongue for a second while thinking of how to respond. “His best friend was a bottle of booze. He was verbally abusive. I don’t miss him. It’s a relief knowing he can’t break my heart anymore.”
“How old were you when your mom died?” I look around. “It seems like this place has been empty for a while now.”
“Ten maybe eleven. I went to live with my grandmother after the accident when my dad couldn’t even take care of himself. He stayed here in the house, and from the looks of it let that fall apart too. My mom was the rock of the family. Once she was gone it all went to shit.”
“So how old are you?” I inquire. It’s not a weird question. I’m intrigued by her story, because it keeps me from having to talk about mine.
“I’ll be twenty next week, not that anyone cares. I may not even make it that long at this rate.”
“How much do you owe the dealer?”
“A grand. It’s not about the money now. I screwed him over and that’s bad for business. It’s my problem. Don’t worry. He’ll never come here. No one has any idea where my family used to live.”
“I wasn’t thinking about that.”
“Really?” She says it like she doesn’t believe me. “Tell me then, Ryan. What are you thinking about over there?” She’s almost saying it like she’s flirting, and when I meet her gaze I’m pretty sure of it. I bite down on my lip and think about what it would like to let loose with a stranger. Much like my drug addiction, I crave the high. This chick means nothing to me, which only makes the danger of it more exciting.
“I thinking it’s probably time I put my daughter to bed.”
She raises her leg up to her chest and holds it as she speaks, licking her lips to accentuate them when her taunting words take me by surprise. “Hopefully you’ll come back downstairs.”
“It’s very possible.”
“You’re not like other guys. You seem different. I mean, I get that this situation is pretty fucked up, but it’s nice knowing I’ll get to hang out with a fine looking man who knows what he wants.” She waits for me to rise from the couch. “So do you, Ryan? Do you know what you want tonight? I’m sure you and I can find an interesting way to entertain each other, don’t you think?”
I face her with Mila in my arms sleeping. “I know I like what I see, but it’s not that simple for me.”
“That’s too bad,” she teases while dragging her fingers in between her cleavage. “I mean, you’re here, and I’m here, what would it hurt to indulge in something fun for a while to take the edge off?”
I swallow the lump forming in my throat while another part of me strikes at my nerves. My dick feels a sudden urge to remind me it’s gone without for far too long. I want to forget about my problems without having to take a pill. I need to be the dad Mila deserves, so if this fine ass woman can take the edge off I’m going to go for it. “Sounds like fun though.”
“Good. I’ll be here when you get back then.”
I head up the stairs and become stricken with guilt. I want Etherly. She’s the only woman I swore I’d be with, but she’s gone. I’m lonely. I’m stressed to the max, fully knowing at any second my whole world could come crashing down on me. Why not indulge in something fun? This could be my last chance to be intimate with a woman. Maybe it’s not in the cards for me to find someone to share my life with. Maybe the FBI will beat down the door and send me to prison for the rest of my life. Instead of contemplating all the negatives, I know exactly what I want. I just need to get my ass back downstairs before I have the chance to change my mind.
Chapter 11
When I get back downstairs Sadie is standing at the front of the living room looking out the old worn curtains into the darkness. I clear my throat to grab her attention, wondering if whatever she took is going to cause her to change her mind about getting frisky with a stranger, or perhaps heighten the experience.
I’m nervous. She’s young. I’m in my mid-twenties, so it’s not a huge age difference, but I’ve been settled for quite some time, while she seems carefree. When I think about it, I know what attracts me. She’s like Etherly. Just imagining it makes me want her more, because the idea of having an experience possibly significant to those with my late wife makes me feel less broken inside. Her eyes meet mine, that puffy bottom lip dragging. Another similarity to Etherly.
“Sit down,” she orders while sauntering in my direction. Her walk is seductive, almost a traipse as she reaches me. Long legs pull mine apart as she leans down in order to shove me back against the cushions on the sofa. “I like it rough.” The admission seems like a threat.
She kisses me once, her smooth lips crashing over mine, a warm tongue penetrating my tight mouth until I give in to my own desires. One hand latches around to pull her closer, though she drives it away, backing up and shaking her head. “Ah, ah.” Teeth dragging again, her eyes lurking around the room like she’s searching for something. She grabs an old bandana Mila played with then left on the floor and lifts it over my head, pushing it down behind my back so it’s horizontal. Unsure of what’s going on, she catches my curious gaze as a half smile forms creating an ornery reaction. “Hands behind your back.”
It makes sense. She wants to subdue me. I cock my head to the side and read into this innuendo. “That’s not fair.”
“I like being in control.” She pushes herself between my legs again, dragging her knee into my groin to get a rise out of me. My cock pokes at my jeans, suddenly making them feel too tight for comfort. “Like bondage and shit?”
A snicker is all I can make out before she’s climbing on my lap, taking hold of my wrists and tucking them behind my back. “Something like that.”
Her tantalizing lips graze over mine, kissing me as she winds the fabric around my wrists, binding them together with a tight knot. She pulls to check it, managing to prevent me from touching her. I'm into this, turned on and prepared to get lost in this woman only to have her back away and speak with a serious, betraying tone. She pulls something from th
e back of her pants, dragging the blade across my throat as she threatens, "You made this so easy, Rogan."
I gulp, suddenly understanding that she's called me by my real name. My mind races as I attempt to wriggle out of the restraints. I stand, shoving her backwards until she falls on the floor, the kitchen knife flings across the room. Before I can break free she's coming at me, shoving me down on my back, causing a rush of pain up my spine.
There's a lot on the line now. This isn't about getting away. It's about much more.
I scream as she shoves her weight over me, a fist cocked like it's about to shatter my jaw. "I said not to move. You won't win this. It's only a matter of time before someone else shows up. Everyone and their mother is going to want that reward money."
"Reward money?" I question as if I misunderstand.
"Yeah, a reward. Two hundred grand for the capture of Rogan Marks and return of sweet little Mila. That was clever of you to use different names."
I'm completely flabbergasted. It's a punch to the gut, but I won't give up, not when I'm so close to having the means to get away. "Please. You don't understand. I'm not the bad guy. You can't turn me in. If you do then you're destroying my child's life."
She plays with her tongue in her mouth, her dirty lying lips puckering while she thinks. "Why? Tell me why I shouldn't take the money and enjoy every single second of spending it? I’m young. I can start a life anywhere."
"Those people offering it are horrible. They were terrible parents who brought their own child up to hate herself. I tried to save her. I wanted her to change, but she was too damaged.
I'm shaking, my adrenaline still not doing the job of helping me break free. "I'll die before I let them raise her. Please, whoever you are, I swear you've got this all wrong. I'm the good guy who has been thrown through the mud. Don't turn me in."
She sits across from me and folds her legs together. She's trying to read my expression. "I am who I say I am. My name is Sadie and this used to be my house. I came here to get away from trouble, only to walk into the hideout of the man who kidnapped his kid. You're all over the news. At first I thought I was being ridiculous, but it makes sense." She picks up the fake glasses I wear in public.
If only I'd been wearing them tonight.
“You changed your hair. You wear these glasses at work as a disguise. Why here? Why come to this house to hide? How did you even know it existed? Did you find it online?”
“I know someone.” I squint out of frustration. “Look, it doesn’t even matter. You have to stop this.”
“Two hundred grand, dude. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime.”
"Sadie, I get why you think two hundred grand sounds like the answer to all your problems, but have some compassion. You lost your mother too. You know what it's like to be without your parents. I need to be with Mila. We need each other. I just lost my wife. Her mother is gone. She was everything to me, they both still are. Please.”
She shakes her head. “That money can give me a new life. You’re crazy if you think I care about anything else.”
“Are you that cold? Can you honestly live with yourself knowing a little girl will be forced to live with terrible people by your hands? There has to be a small part of you that believes I’m telling the truth. Those people want to take her away from me forever. If you call the cops, if they come and take me away it’s all over. I’ll never see my little girl again. Never.”
“And why do you think that is?” She’s shoving me even though I can’t go back any further.
“I know why. I’ll tell you anything, just don’t make that call.” Unlike the pain of holding my dead wife’s body, this kind of hurt surrounds me like a body of water sucking me to the bottom where I’ll drown in my own demise. The idea of losing Mila, this time forever is worse than falling from a cliff. I’d rather die than know she’s out there somewhere without me, struggling because she’s being told I wanted nothing to do with her. She’ll be fed lies, and told only the evil past I’ve spent my whole life running from. I can feel the burn in my throat, my eyes filling with a warm liquid I can’t prevent. “I’ll give you all the money I have in the bag. I’ll do anything.”
“Anything?” Sadie adjusts her posture. “Like what? Do you have more money stashed?”
“No, but I’ll figure something out.” I don’t have a pot to piss in and I’m not a criminal, so coming up with that kind of money is impossible.
“I’d rather get it from the cops.”
“They’ll make you go through hoops. They’ll try to make it seem like they found me so the ransom doesn’t have to be paid. They’ll drug test you, not to mention your face will be plastered on every news station on the planet. There won’t be a rock you can hide under to keep those people from searching for you. When they get wind of you coming into money they’ll want interest, the kind that leaves you in a body bag and them two hundred grand richer.”
My desperate attempts to stop her pays off. I can tell she’s alert and concerned over it being possible.
She slumps down beside me, crossing her arms, staring straight at the wall facing us. “Shit. You’re right. The news will be all over it.”
“I don’t blame you for wanting a new life. It’s all I’ve ever wanted since my wife passed away. Being without her is tough, but having to do all of this just to keep my daughter with me is excruciating. I never thought I’d have to stoop to these sort of levels to raise my own kid. I meant what I said, though. She’s all I have. I’ve never hurt a woman,” I finally break free of the tight hold her restraints had on me, taking control of the situation by standing promptly in front of her, “But not even a young money hungry girl is going to stop me from running.”
She’s a little shocked. Watching the way she gets to her feet and struggles to find words when she knows I can overpower her only motivates me more. I strike my hand in front of her to prevent the woman from coming at me.
“Truce,” she announces while both palms face me as they raise above her head. “I really don’t feel like dying in this house.”
When I hear it I realize she assumes I’m going to kill her or something just as preposterous. “Um, you can put your hands down. It’s not like that.”
She’s reluctant, but finally sits back down, refusing to take her eyes off of me just in case I wasn’t being truthful.
I take the spot across from her and contemplate what to say in this situation. It’s tough. She knows my secret. Sure, she stumbled upon us, but her declaration only proves that people are still looking for me. I have to reevaluate the plan and see how in the world I’m going to get out of the country without being caught.
My fingers tread through the growing hair on my scalp. “This is a disaster.”
“You’re telling me. First I wanted to get away, and then I thought I’d get rich, but you’re right. I’ve gotten myself involved with the wrong people. I’m liable to end up face down in a river if I take that reward money.”
“We’ll stay through the night, and then you can have the house to yourself.”
“So, you’re just going to go somewhere else? Do you have a backup plan?”
My brow responds by lifting. “Like I’d tell you.”
“That’s fair.”
“Before you got caught up in your troubles, where was your life headed?”
Sadie shrugs. She claps her hands together and folds them on her lap, shrugging before words are able to escape her lips. “I was taking college classes and working as much as possible to pay for the following semester. It’s tough having to do it on my own. I waitress five days a week. That’s why I really started depending on the drugs. I needed to be alert at all times. The Adderall helped, but it only made me more aware of everything on my giant list of things I needed to do, so I dabbled with other things to take the edge off. At first it was manageable. A couple IOU’s to the campus dealer. A few trades with meals at my restaurant, but then I got greedy and took advantage of his large inventory. I agreed to a date,
went home with him, and took his stash when he fell asleep. I don’t know why I thought he’d go easy on me. When he found me the next morning I only gave him three quarters of what I took. He told me if I didn’t come up with the rest, or pay for it, his bosses would come after the both of us. I felt like I was in a bad gangster movie. It wasn’t real, until it was. My grandmother is gone. My dad finally kicked the bucket. I had no reason to stay around, so I bolted. I figured I could lay low here until I found a way to start over someplace where bad memories wouldn’t haunt me.”
Suddenly I feel sorry for this girl. I’m not the only person who feels like life hasn’t been fair. “When Etherly, that’s my wife, anyway when she overdosed I didn’t know it. She’d locked herself in the bathroom after we fought about her shooting up. She’d promised that if we took pills and had one final hoorah we’d quit altogether. Next thing I know she’s pulling out a syringe and taunting me to shoot heroin with her. We had a big falling out and she locked herself in the bathroom to do it on her own. I’d taken a bunch of pills beforehand and passed out on the other side of the bathroom door. While I slept off my high my wife was a few feet away dying. If I hadn’t taken pills I could have saved her. I could have called for help sooner.”
Talking about those moments causes me to get choked up. I fight with my emotions while Sadie sits silently across the room taking it all in. “It wasn’t your fault. She did it against your wishes, right?”
“Well yeah. I never used needles or messed with heroin. I was fine popping a few pills and sleeping it off. They took the stress away. I had no idea it would end the way it did. I see her lying there on the floor. It’s memorized in my mind, flashes of those first moments where I thought she’d be okay, to when I finally found out she was gone. What’s worse is that Mila was right there with me. She was tapping on her mother, telling her to wake up. Etherly was naked, sprawled out for everyone to see when medical workers arrived. I should have covered her up before they got there. I don’t want my daughter remembering it.”
The Wrong Side of Rock Bottom Page 8
