When we part for a breath, I cup my hands over her face and keep her near. “I thought I’d never see you again.”
Her eyes begin to flood with tears. I begin kissing them away, hoping I can somehow make up for lost time. “Don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry. I’m not sad. I’m happy.”
Our foreheads meet, and I close my eyes to take in the moment. “Is it wrong if I want to take you bed?”
“Only if you aren’t going to join me.”
I smirk. “Or we could go slow.”
She stands, grabbing my arm and pulling me on my feet. I catch her, my hands taking her by the waist. We share a chaste kiss right before she responds. “I’ve waited three years to feel what it’s like for the man I want to make love to me. Fast or slow, I’m not leaving until I get what I want.”
I start to laugh to myself. “I might be your biggest disappointment.”
“We won’t know until we try.”
Chapter 22
It’s surreal having her in my home. We walk hand in hand as if we’ve rehearsed this moment a hundred times. We’re careful not to wake Willa as we pass by her bedroom on the way to mine. Sadie enters, while I stop to make sure the door is shut and locked. I don’t want my child getting up to go the bathroom and witnessing an eyeful. I also know I won’t want to stop for anything once this starts.
This encounter will be like no other. I’ve seen this woman naked. I’ve cared for her. At times I’ve been angry with her, doubted and even felt betrayed by her, but when it’s all said and done what I mostly feel is a connection I’m sick of denying. She’s here and I have one last chance to figure things out. Whether she stays or goes, at least we’ll have some sort of idea why neither of us has been able to forget what we shared.
Making my way toward the bed, we catch gazes. Waves of heat wash over my entire body as I reach her. We kiss, and it’s powerful, full of angst, and intent. She takes a couple steps back, watching me as she begins to lift her shirt over her head. I do the same, removing my shirt and then focusing on unfastening my pants. Down to her bra and panties, while I’m left with a pair of boxers, I watch Sadie turn and crawl up on the bed, then spin around to motion for me to join her. “What are you waiting for?”
“I think I need to pinch myself so I know this is real.”
Sadie unclasps her bra and tosses it in my direction. “Still think you’re dreaming?”
I’m grinning from ear to ear as I map my way onto the mattress. The dim light of the moon shining in through a window illuminates her smooth silky skin. I drag the back of my fingers over her abdomen, while staring at her face, those perfect lips and the copper eyes I love looking into. She’s trembling beneath me, every single part of her consenting while nerves get the best of her. It’s flattering to know I have this affect on someone, especially after I made the mistake of rejecting her the last time we were in this situation.
Leaning on my elbow to make sure I have a good view, I finally cup one of her breasts, sucking it in between my lips while my tongue teases the tip. Her back arches then falls back down. I repeat the process on the opposite side, my rock hard erection becoming almost painful while I continue trekking over every inch of her skin. She smells familiar, which makes me feel comfortable. Tasting my way to her abdomen, I drag my lips in circles around her belly button. My eyes find hers, and it’s obvious this arouses the both of us. I keep the same grin on my face while lowering my chin, focused on one particular area I’ve never ventured. I’ve imagined this moment, envisioned what it would be like to pleasure Sadie this way. Every single tender kiss I place on her, maps my way to the sweet prize I’m about to sample.
Drawing my thumb across her black lace panties, my mouth salivates. I’m eager, no hungry to taste her. I pet the fabric again, listening as she sucks in a heavy breath of air in anticipation. It’s hard to refrain from pulling the fabric to the side and taking a peek, but she’s asked me to make love to her, which requires patience and even more time, so I lick over the lace and listen for her reaction. When I get what I want, I reward her with another lick, this time dragging my tongue around where I know her sensitive bud awaits.
The evidence of her arousal is beginning to show. I can taste her as I lick the fabric, using my tongue to shove over her panties and sample her sweet lips. This really gets me going. I haven’t performed this kind of act in years, the last person being my wife. This was always something intimate I only wanted to share with her, but my opinion of that changed the moment I met this beauty. The second she came into my life I had to fight the urge to want her. She’s exudes sex appeal. She’s everything I’m attracted to, and so much more. I’m not deserving of her, yet she’s come all this way to change my mind.
Using both my hands, I begin pulling her panties from her hips, down off her ankles. She backs up on the bed, spreading her legs and sitting up on her elbows to watch me. I lick my lips and narrow in on her pussy, focused on one single task. “I want to make you come, Sadie. Watch me.”
Her head goes back as my mouth begins the motion. My tongue flicks over her pussy, while I use my fingers to bring her to the brink of falling apart. Repeating the process, she loses control after several minutes. The taste of her arousal gets me worked up. I can’t stop licking until I’ve cleaned the area completely. Her body begins to buck, her ass lifting in the air. She’s pulling my hair, holding on as I take her to new heights, and when she comes undone I feel accomplished. Step one is complete. I rise, finding her lips and crashing into them. As I pull away I make a promise. “I’m just getting started.”
Her hand stretches in between us and grips my heavy erection. As she strokes me, she moves her body at the same rhythm. We start grinding together, dry humping like we’re fucking without having intercourse. Her kisses are passionate and needy. I’m hungry to be inside of her, and as much as I’m enjoying the way this feels, I know it’s been too long, and I’m about to erupt. Flipping us around so she’s overtop of me, Sadie brushes her hair off her shoulders and leans back so I’m able to massage her breasts. She leans forward and teases my mouth with her hard tart nipples. When she sits up again she begins rocking back and forth, displaying the way she wants to ride me. I halt her, forcing her to come down and allow me to recuperate while I hold her. Our skin is beginning to sweat, though neither of us mention it. Sadie kisses me softly again, pulling away and looking deeply in my eyes. “Are you okay?”
I nod in between kisses. “I’m good. I’m real good. Just trying to hold out. You’re making it difficult.”
“Sorry,” she giggles out. “I’m a little excited.”
I flip her back around in order to take charge. “Are you sure about this?”
“I’ve never been more sure.”
I tease her with my lips, while positioning myself to enter her. The moment I do, it feels like every part of my body ignites into flames. I’m on fire, and not in a painful way. Every limb becomes oversensitive, heightening each touch, and every single kiss. We move slow, our hands caressing the most private parts of our bodies. The things she makes me feel, what I’m experiencing is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I can’t stop. My entire purpose is to give her everything she wants. On the verge of a physical explosion, I feel her hands gripping my ass. I’m losing it fast, and the second it begins I’m brought to a lapse of harmonious relief.
She holds me tight until I can regain composure, and even after we remain connected. I keep kissing her head, her cheeks and then her lips. Then I hear her sobs and feel utterly gutted. Thinking she regrets this, or I’ve been some kind of disappointment, I start to remove myself from her grasp, but she stops me. “I’m sorry. I never expected to get emotional about this. You must think I’m a mess.”
“I don’t.” I reassure her. “I just don’t want you upset with me.’
“That’s not possible. The only thing that would upset me is if you asked me to leave.”
I study her face. “What if I asked you stay?”
&nbs
p; She sits straight up and stares into my eyes. “For how long?”
“There’s no time limit.”
Sadie flops back down on the mattress and runs her hands over her face. “Don’t say stuff like that. I may want to stay forever.”
“Well that’s okay.” I trace my fingers over her skin. “I may never want you to leave.”
“I think I’m in love with you.”
“Yeah, I know the feeling.”
Chapter 23
Two months later
Sadie stayed for a week before heading back to the states to take care of some personal matters, like breaking off her engagement. I feel bad for the guy, but understand why she couldn’t connect with him. Sadie will always be a victim. Her name is out there, as well as her face. The only way to start over is to do what I did. Disappear and start over.
In the time we spent together we were able to figure out and accept that our feelings for each other were worth exploring.
We communicated through phone calls and social media, keeping our conversations online only about each other, leaving out any hint of my daughter. We wanted to make it appear like we were just two people in a normal relationship, and for all intents and purposes, we were. For the first time in my life I felt like I knew someone completely. I had someone I could count on, but most importantly trust.
She was on my mind from sun up to sun down, and the hours in between. Boy did I miss her, but what surprised me more was how sad Willa was when Sadie had to go. It’s obvious how the two feel about one another. It’s also why I know this is right. We can give her the family Willa longs for; the one I never thought I’d find again.
Unlike my marriage to Etherly, I’m not going to be used and lied to. There are no drugs standing in our way of happiness. I haven’t touched a pill since getting my child back, and honestly, I can’t remember the last time I even thought about taking something.
I’m happy. I’m optimistic. Things have changed for the better. She’s that missing piece I always knew existed.
It took her two and a half weeks to come back to me, and in that time the only thing I could think about was making sure we didn’t have to spend anymore time apart, like the problems she might have with coming to the country as a tourist. Since I’m familiar with jumping through hurdles to stay in a foreign country, I already have a plan.
I’m waiting in the circle at the airport to see her walking out the doors with all of her luggage. Since Willa begged me, I’ve let her skip school to come along. I’m so nervous my hands are making the steering wheel wet. It doesn’t help that my five year old daughter is in the back seat giving me a play by play of every single person exiting the airport.
Then I spot her. It’s sort of windy and her medium length hair blows around in her face. Not waiting for Willa, I shoot from the car and rush to Sadie’s side. Our embrace gets emotional from the first second. When I’m able to loosen my grip, I take her face into my hands and kiss her, my lips lingering there for a few seconds. “I missed you so damn much.”
Her arms cling to me, and another set comes up from behind. Sadie speaks to us both. “I miss you too.”
I take her in for second, still in shock that she wants to be with us. “You look beautiful.”
Her smile does things to me. I think it always has. “I love you.”
It feels good to hear. She could say it a million times and it will never get old.
Sadie stoops down and gives Willa a big hug. “How’s my favorite girl?”
Willa taps on the front of her mouth. “I lost another tooth. Daddy says I can’t eat carrots until they grow back.”
I laugh as she explains. “Pretty soon she’s going to have to ask Santa for a new set.”
“I don’t want stupid teeth for Christmas.”
I snicker. “Why don’t you tell Sadie what you’ve asked for every year and never gotten?”
She starts swaying like she’s always done when she’s nervous. “Well, I ask him for lots of things like toys and games, but he never gave me a new Mommy yet.”
I was hoping she knew what I was talking about.
Sadie hugs her again, this time closing her tear-filled eyes before looking up at me. I don’t need to tell her this is where she belongs. It feels right. She’s good for us.
After the three of us get Sadie’s things loaded in the car, we head home for an early dinner. I help Sadie unpack her bags, offering her a new dresser I picked up from a friend that had one to get rid of. She sits down next to me on the bed and reaches her arms so she’s holding onto me. “I’m glad I’m back.”
“You? Willa was ready to hire a private jet and take matters into her own hands.”
We both cackle. “Seriously, Ryan, I’m glad.” I’m still getting used to that name coming from her sweet lips.
I stroke her hair. “Me too. It’s not the same as talking to you on the phone or through messages. I need to feel you. It’s crazy how much I missed you.”
“I was hoping you’d still feel that way when I got back, you know, after the excitement of our week wore off.”
“Nothing about the way I feel is going to wear off.”
“What happens next? If I don’t fly back to the states will the authorities come looking for me?”
“Probably not. How would they find you?”
She shrugs.
“We could always get married. It would give you dual citizenship, and you’d have my name, well at least the one I use now.”
“Married? I just broke off an engagement.”
“I thought you said I give you butterflies and make the room spin.”
She playfully shoves me. “I did. You do.”
“You can always divorce me. We’ll take it slow. It’s just a piece of paper that will keep you here with us. I’m living under a fake name. If you decide later to hate me, you can walk out and say it never happened.”
“What if I want to stay?”
“Then I guess we’ll try to make it work,” I tease.
“I spent over seven hundred days apart from you, and not one of them went by without me imagining being with you again. I know what I want.” She kisses me softly, pulling away in order to stare into my eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’m obsessed with you. You’ll most likely hate me in the future.”
Willa bursts through the door, joining us on the bed. She’s got that old picture she drew the first day of school with our house and the two stick figures, except now there’s three. “Look. I added Sadie. Now we’re a family, right?”
My stomach twirls as I think about what this means to my little girl. I could have picked up a woman who would have taken care of her, but Sadie loves her. She risked her future to give us a new life. She doesn’t have to prove her feelings with words. I already feel them radiating off of her whenever she’s close.
Sadie answers for me. “Kiddo, that’s all I’ve ever wanted too.”
Having the two of them finally allowed me to experience the right side of happiness, and there is no place else I’d rather be.
The End.
The Wrong Side of Rock Bottom Page 16
