by Aja Cole
It’s been so long since I’ve kissed anyone, since I’ve been kissed. I’ve woefully deprived myself of any type of physical connection, and Jax is proving right now that I’ve been missing a lot.
His kiss answers questions I didn’t know I had, feeds fires I’ve been trying to ignore. He tangles his tongue with mine slowly, seductively. He kisses like he takes over the field, swiftly and confidently. He doesn’t give me any time to think of anything but him.
When he pulls back, it takes me a few seconds to open my eyes and when I do – the desire in his deep blue gaze sends more lust rolling through my body. At some point, he’d backed against the brick wall and my arms are wrapped tight around his neck.
“That definitely felt like professional interest.” He leans toward me again, stroking my nape lightly.
Just like that, ice runs through my veins.
I swallow hard and step back, wrapping my arms around myself.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“That was out of line, I should not have kissed you back.”
“Why not?” He moves forward and I step back, shaking my head.
“This can’t happen, it was stupid to pretend like it was going anywhere else. I got carried away, and that’s my fault.”
“Sienna…”
“No.” I put up a hand. “Just…no. Thank you for tonight, it was very nice. I’m going to pass on dessert.”
“And the deal?” His eyes sharpen and I look away, coming completely back to earth with a bang.
Somehow, him mentioning that feels even worse, which is stupid because that’s why this happened in the first place.
I’m the idiot that forgot the end goal, and I don’t have anyone to blame but myself.
“The final meeting isn’t for another week. If things stay quiet until then, then it’s yours. I won’t recommend anyone else.”
He nods his head slowly, adjusting the brim of his cap.
“Okay. I think I can do that.” Jax hesitates. “You know we don’t have to end things this way.”
I stick a hand out in the space between us, because I really don’t need to be so close to him again.
I can still feel his warmth from before, and that’s what helped trip me up in the first place.
I’m supposed to be the exception, not another goddamned woman falling at his feet.
He takes my hand firmly and shakes it once, but when I go to pull back, he won’t let go.
“Jax.” I meet his eyes and he raises an eyebrow.
“Tiger.”
“Let me go.”
“I will.”
“Sooner rather than later.” I whisper.
He jerks me firmly into his body and wraps his arms around me. After a second of staying rigid, I wrap my arms around his back and let him hug me. Let myself hug him.
“This is a much better ending, right?” His breath blows past my ear and I squeeze my eyes tight so I don’t squeeze my thighs. I don’t answer, but I enjoy the feel of his hard chest against mine and his arms wrapped around me now because I know it’s the last time.
Jaxon Blake is not the man for me, and as long as he is who he is; he never will be.
Jaxon
“Jaxon, how are you feeling about the championship game?” A reporter with a Times press pass asks. It’s a more casual press day after a morning practice.
“I feel good. I trust my team, I trust our coaches and I trust that we’ll show up and play the game we love to the best of our abilities and not give up without a damned good fight.”
Clean, concise, no shit-talking like my usual. I think Miss Davis would approve.
I’m only doing this until that deal is signed, then I’ll be back to my fuck opinions per usual self.
When they move the questions to our coach and a few other players, I let my mind wander to Sienna. It’s been a few days since that night and I’ve thought of her every day since.
Damn, I like that woman.
We didn’t talk much about why her guard is up so much, but just the woman I saw after we went to the stadium was enough to let me know that there’s a lot more underneath her business side.
She’s straightforward, she’s got a damned good sense of humor and she doesn’t take me too seriously. As the night went on, I started feeling a lot more like Jax, the man and not just Jax, the player.
It’s not a distinction I’ve had in a long time.
“….woman?”
I blink and look up from the bench, and everyone’s looking at me expectantly.
“Sorry, one more time?”
The reporter smiles and repeats her question.
“The finale of your show surprised everyone last night when you didn’t pick any of the women. Why was that?”
“My wife was yelling at the TV, she was so shocked.” Coach Quinn adds in, looking at me expectantly.
“Right? My sister was having a watch party at my place and the boys and I couldn’t focus on poker, they were talking so much.” Chris nudges my shoulder and I shake my head.
“Ultimately, I didn’t want to promise anything I wasn’t sure about, and I just didn’t see long-term with the women. They were each amazing and I’m sure they’ll find their happy endings, but it just won’t be with me.”
“That’s a very diplomatic answer, a little different from what we’re used to from you.” Benny, the regular from ESPN teases.
“Yeah well, shit happens.”
“Would it have anything to do with the new woman in your life?”
I raise my eyes slowly to a man off to the side, one I haven’t seen before. He looks harmless enough, but he obviously knows something I don’t.
“New woman?” I laugh it off, running possibilities through my mind. It’s more likely that he’s fishing for information since I haven’t been seen with anyone.
“A fan sent in a picture to us,” He flips his press tag and he’s from one of the more lifestyle oriented outlets. The ones that follow us on the field and make sure to dig into whatever we’ve got going on off of it. “We didn’t want to run it until we had some confirmation. You and a mystery woman in your college town, embracing on the sidewalk the night of the playoff win. Just a friend?”
Sometimes, things happen where you can see two clear paths right in front of you.
What are the chances that they figure out exactly who’s in the picture? There’s a ton of women it could’ve been, and I doubt they’ve got one with us full on and clear if they only have us hugging.
I could deny the picture, and then they’ll run a story about one of my many women and gossip blogs will flame me for not claiming anyone and not picking anyone on the show and the playboy angle will get even bigger.
I doubt that’s what Sienna meant when she advised that I keep things quiet. The only place we went is Clocked, and I don’t think Laurie’s the type to offer up information since she didn’t pay one bit of attention to me.
“I like to keep my relationships private and I’m going to ask that people try to respect our privacy while we continue to get to know each other.” I dip my chin. “You guys had your TV fix into my dating life, that’s all you get for now.”
“Fair enough.” The man smiles and writes a few things down, nodding at me in thanks.
For a second, the thought crosses my mind that this could end up going terribly wrong…but it goes away quickly.
It’s actually a pretty good plan. Random mystery relationship means I’ve settled down, and I haven’t been seeing anyone anyway so it won’t be a hardship to pretend like someone’s waiting for me at home.
A little downtime and less partying will be good. Yeah, my mystery girl doesn’t like clubs and shit as much. Since I’m such a great boyfriend, I of course, would rather stay home with her.
It’ll be nice to chill before the championship game, get my mind on right.
This is going to be a piece of cake, and I can use giving Sienna a heads up as an excuse to see her.
I kind of miss my tiger, and
I bet she’ll be happy to see me too, even if she won’t admit it.
Sienna
There’s wetness on my face and I swipe it away, turning my cheek to the other side of the pillow before flipping the pillow altogether.
I’m so tired, I need more sleep. I figure I’ve got another two hours before my alarm shrills and I have to go into work.
I feel like I’ve only gotten very small amounts of the sleep in the past week and every bit counts.
Flipping my pillow again then tossing it off the bed when I land on the spot with drool, I bury my face in my sheets and heft up my comforter around me.
I start to sink into sleep when I notice a sliver of light shadowing the floor.
It shouldn’t be light at 6am. Throwing my covers off, I stumble to the shades and jerk the cord, revealing way more sunlight than I expected.
And giving away the fact that I’m fucking late.
I’m never late, never.
I roll over my bed and rush to the bathroom, turning on the shower and thankful that the heating is so good, and that I sleep naked.
It’s really good for making sure everything breathes. I jump in and grab up my loofah, pumping black soap onto it and washing the fastest I ever have. Thank god I had a waxing appointment yesterday.
Rinsing off, I sigh and drop my chin to my chest, turning my back and letting water wash over me. I lift my head and stare at the smooth granite on the wall, wondering why the heck my alarm didn’t ring.
“What the hell?” I feel water dripping down my chest and I immediately realize I’ve fucked up for the second time this morning.
I reach up and feel my formerly straight hair curling up.
“FUCK!” The last time I dealt with my natural hair was years, years ago. I have a stylist who makes sure its not damaged and then straightens it so I can go about my life without the extra effort.
I don’t have time to stop by the salon and my hair is poofing up faster than a damn blow up doll. I don’t have time to blow dry and straighten it myself.
Spotting conditioner on the shower shelf, I know there’s only one thing I can do.
I guess today is the day I find out if I can do my own damned hair in 15 minutes and not look like a poodle.
If my afternoon isn’t better, I’m going to be fucking livid.
I don’t know if people are really staring at me or if I’m just imagining that they’re wondering if I’ve lost my mind.
A few YouTube videos, some random products from a gift bag I got from a baby shower I went to, and a few bobby pins ; I think I at least look like maybe my hairstyle is intentional and not out of desperation.
I avoid eye contact since it’s 10am and I’m three hours later than usual, and go into my office, giving Brigette a short wave.
I set my purse down, close my door and kick off my shoes, dropping into my chair. The privacy glass is on thankfully, so no one should bother me unexpectedly.
I need the rest of today and meetings to go smoothly, or else my usual one glass of wine with dinner just might turn into the full bottle.
I have to get it together.
There’s a knock on the frosted glass, and Brigette sticks her head in.
“Not turning the privacy glass off, late and you’re not sleek and straight today? Please tell me you got laid.” She comes in with a few folders and closes the door behind her, dropping into a chair in front of my desk.
“If I were engaging in that activity, I’d at least have a reason for being late other than just missing my alarm.”
“And your hair? Not that it doesn’t actually kind of suit you, but I’ve worked for you for 3 years and never seen it not straight.”
“Water mishap. Forgot my shower cap.” I touch the soft curls gingerly, not used to the texture. I think it looks surprisingly nice actually, I just want my straight hair back.
It’s what I’m used to. It’s familiar. It’s consistent. What I remember about doing my natural hair was that it’s uncertain and it does its own thing depending on the day.
I don’t have time for that. Except for apparently, today.
“Kat is waiting for you in her office when you’re ready.” She puts the folders she’s holding on my desk, stroking a strand of her red hair. “These are the files you emailed about yesterday, and Yael wanted to know if you’re free for a girl’s night tonight.
“Did I miss a meeting? Did Kat say what she wants? Thanks for the files, and tell Yael I’m free.” I slip the Jimmy Choo heels back on and stand, smoothing out my dress.
“Nope, she just said to send you to her office when you get in. If it helps, she had the friendly face on.”
“The friendly face is good.” I murmur, opening the door for her and letting her leave ahead of me. “Okay, hopefully you’ll still have a job.”
“Oh, I’ll have a job regardless. I’m really tight with Richard down in HR.” She mimes an obscene gesture with her mouth and I cover my eyes.
“I’ll pretend I didn’t see that.”
Walking past the other offices, I notice a few glances and I keep my head high, even though having different hair is really psyching me out.
Fake it till you make it.
Kat has her privacy glass off, even though Carson and Natalie are both with her in the office. When she sees me, she waves me in and I push open the door, lingering by it.
“Love the hair, Sienna. Come, sit, get comfortable.” I greet Carson and Natalie and sit at the table, crossing my legs.
“So…I won’t beat around the bush.” Kat leans forward, her square glasses sliding down her nose a little. “Why didn’t you tell us you were seeing Jaxon?”
It takes a little bit for the words to penetrate, because at first listen, it sounds absolutely absurd.
Every time Jaxon has crossed my mind, I’ve pushed him out. I backed him to the board as a good choice to rep the brand, and then I tried to forget that I’d ever felt his arms around me. He did keep things quiet all week as promised, and honestly, I guess my dislike was a little more personal than business oriented.
“Dating?” I echo, keeping my face neutral.
“Well, seeing each other at least. They ran a picture on a blog site earlier. At first, I didn’t think anything of it…” She opens her computer, typing into it then turning it to me. “But we met for dinner that night, and you were wearing the same thing.”
I stare at the enlarged picture on the screen. The first thing that crosses my mind is at least they hadn’t gotten us kissing. Instead, he’s only holding me. Or if they did get us kissing too, apparently they decided not to share that photo.
Small silver linings.
“I…” I start, words running through my head.
“And then I thought maybe you’re just friends, because surely our good friend and colleague would tell us about a new man she’s dating.” Kat continues. “Then this little beauty surfaced.”
She presses a key and I see Jax, sitting on a bench in his locker room with Coach Quinn, Chris, and Hardict. He looks good all sweaty from practice, muscles on display and hair slightly damp.
“We didn’t want to run it until we had some confirmation. You and a mystery woman in your college town, embracing on the sidewalk the night of the playoff win. Just a friend?” I hear but I can’t see the person speaking.
Jax pauses for a long while, and it almost seems like he’s not going to answer. Then he puts on one of his charming smiles.
“I like to keep my relationships private and I’m going to ask that people try to respect our privacy while we continue to get to know each other.” He lowers that strong jaw. “You guys had your TV fix into my dating life, that’s all you get for now.”
I feel more anger with every word and by the time he’s finished, I could strangle him. Any chance I had of passing it off as just a friend is completely gone. Everyone else might not know who’s in the picture, but my fucking bosses do.
“Is it a violation of any of my contract?” I ask, straightening
in my chair.
I’m going to have that football player’s fucking head on a platter.
Kat reels back, shaking her head. “Not at all, but I thought we were friends. You know I’ve respected you and your tenacity for a long time, and I would’ve supported you in this also. There’s a few pieces of paperwork that need to be handled, but it’s not against any rules. We know you, and we trust your judgement.”
“Thank you.” I say quietly. Kat closes the computer and takes off her glasses, dropping the professional voice.
“Now that we’ve covered that, I do have to say knowing you for so long, I’m surprised you’d go for a football player.”
“Yeah, you’re practically famous for loving your privacy. Are you sure this is something you want? Jax isn’t exactly a behind the scenes type of man.” Carson throws in, a worried look on his face. I’ve had dinner with his family, gone to his kids birthday parties. He’s like an older brother to me.
“We’re discussing things.” I say slowly. “Nothing is set in stone, but we are enjoying each other’s company for the time being.”
“Well I for one am really excited for you. You’ve been guy free for way too long.” Natalie claps. “When do we get to meet him in a non-professional capacity?”
“We’ll have to see, I’ll let you guys know.” I stand, “I have a meeting with advertising. Was there anything else?”
“You coming to Yael’s dinner tonight?” Kat asks, brushing aside her dark fringe.
“Currently, yes, if nothing changes.”
“Bring your guy if he’s free. I want to ask him about his intentions.” Carson says and I smile tightly.
“I’ll see if he’s free.”
Considering I’m running through all the ways I can get rid of a 6’0 football players body in my mind, I’m not sure he will be.
Jaxon
“Really, Bianca was crazy?” Trev shrugs on a t-shirt across the room.
“She was…moody. I mean, the stuff she did behind the scenes was ridiculous. One minute, she was smiling and happy and the next, she was crying and talking about the girls had it out for her.”
“Did they have it out for her? I think I’d have it out for guys if we were all in it for the same girl.” Jeffrey slings a towel around his neck, holding the ends. “Part of me was jealous, the other part thinks dealing with one girl is more than enough.”
