by Gary Paulsen
When she put out her hand, he froze. He turned bright red and forgot his line, his name, his life, how to breathe, think, see. Everything left him.
Charles elbowed him. Amos blinked. He gently took Melissa’s hand, clicked his heels together, and bowed.
Melissa flashed him a brilliant smile.
A giggle went through the line. Mrs. Wormwood took out her fan and gasped, “Oh, my goodness.”
The rest of the students shook his hand, but Amos was totally unaware. All he could think of was that not only had he, Amos Binder, held Melissa Hansen’s hand in his but she had smiled at him. It was a day for the history books. When he got home, he’d ask her to go steady, and then …
“Amos, pay attention,” Dunc muttered furtively as he was shaking Amos’s hand. “We need to talk.”
Amos blinked again. “Did you see that, Dunc? She loves me.”
“Keep your voice down.” Dunc kept shaking his hand. “We have some new information. Well meet you by the water fountain when this is over.”
The prince shook Amos’s hand quickly and moved to the other side of the garden so no one would notice anything.
When the last student had moved aside, Mrs. Wormwood took Amos’s arm. “Tell me, Your Highness. Do you enjoy school?”
“I would probably enjoy school very much if it weren’t for one thing.”
“What is that, Your Highness?”
“I have an extremely disagreeable social studies teacher. She gives a mountain of homework every night and insists on seating her students in alphabetical order. Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous?”
“N-no,” Mrs. Wormwood sputtered. “No, I haven’t.”
Amos bent over and pressed the button on the water fountain. Water squirted him in the face and soaked the front of his jacket. The purple banner across his chest faded onto his white shirt. He noticed the “out of order” sign just as Dunc walked up.
“What are you doing?” Dunc asked.
Amos looked down at his jacket. “It’s a new method of cleaning clothes. I’ll show it to you later.”
“I think I’ll pass. Where’s Charles?”
“He went to find the chauffeur. Where’s Gus?”
“He’s keeping an eye on Senator Grafter.”
“Why? I thought he was supposed to be working for Senator Suborn?”
“That’s what I need to talk to you about. The prince’s chief intelligence officer called last night. We found out that Senator Grafter is trying to buy the rights to a new oil field in Gus’s country.”
Amos pulled his arm out of the sleeve. “So?”
“The senator claims to have no connections with any oil company. If we can prove he does, then he’s in big trouble.”
Amos twisted the jacket and squeezed some of the water out. “You’re going to get to the part that makes sense any minute now, right?”
“The intelligence officer says the senator is working with somebody from inside the country who wants to make the prince and his father look bad. Whoever it is, is trying to make it look like Gus and his dad are selling off the oil rights when the country needs them desperately.”
Amos slipped the jacket back on. “Hmm. Seems a little smaller than it was before.”
“Here’s what we need you to do.”
“I knew we’d get to this part,” Amos said. “How weird is it this time?”
“It’s not that bad. Really.”
“You say that every time.”
“This time I mean it. All you have to do is show up here tomorrow in the limousine and bring an extra suit of clothes for the prince.”
“What’s the catch?”
“There’s no catch. Gus has a tape recorder, and we’re going to keep following the senator. But even if we don’t get any evidence, Gus is going to make a speech at two o’clock tomorrow to try to put a stop to what’s going on.”
“And all I have to do is show up and trade places with the prince?”
“That’s it.”
“Wait a minute. How come they’re going to let Gus give a speech? I thought someone was keeping him off the list of speakers.”
“Let’s just say some very clever pages managed to put him back on the list.”
“Are you guys working with someone else?”
“Very funny.”
Amos shrugged. “Anything else I need to know?”
“We’ll be waiting for you in the rest room on the second floor. Don’t be late.”
Dunc hid the tape recorder in the bottom of the trash can. He covered it with a couple of pieces of paper.
“Did you turn it on?” Gus asked.
Dunc nodded. “Full blast. We should be able to hear him breathe.”
“I hope we get something. This is our last chance. I’d rather make that speech this afternoon with some solid evidence. Otherwise, it’s just my word against his.”
Dunc started for the door. “We better go. The secretary thinks we’re in here on an errand for the senator. She might get suspicious.”
“I heard her say she was going to lunch.”
“Just the same, we better—shh, somebody’s coming!” Dunc pointed to the closet. They scrambled in and closed the door.
The senator was talking to someone. “I don’t know how it happened. I did everything I could to keep him off the speakers’ list.”
“That’s not good enough,” a woman hissed. “Our deal was for you to make him look bad. In return, I would make sure you had the top bid on those oil wells.”
The prince’s eyes widened. He leaned close to Dunc and whispered, “It’s my aunt Sophie.”
The woman continued, “If he gets back in the good graces of the people of Moldavia, I will hold you personally responsible. Our agreement will be terminated.”
“You can’t do that. My company needs those wells.”
“Then I suggest you take whatever steps you find necessary to make him appear incompetent—or else. Do you understand?”
The senator sighed. “I understand.”
“Good. I will be waiting for your report.” The woman’s heels clicked against the floor as she left the room.
The senator sat at his desk for a few minutes. Then he gathered his things and followed her.
Dunc waited. He cautiously peeked out of the closet. “All clear.”
The prince uncovered the tape recorder and smiled. “I can’t believe our luck.”
Dunc tried the door. “It’s locked. We’re locked in.”
“Oh, no!” Gus looked at his watch. “We’re supposed to meet Amos in fifteen minutes!”
Dunc moved to the window. “It’s three stories to the ground. Any suggestions?”
Amos washed his hands five times. He looked at his teeth in the mirror and sat on the counter, holding the extra suit, and waited.
Charles opened the door. “Any sign of them?”
Amos shook his head. “I wonder what’s keeping them. Gus is going to be late for his speech.”
“I fear it may be foul play.”
Amos slid off the counter. “What do you mean? You think somebody kidnaped them?”
“It’s a possibility.”
“What should we do?”
“First we need to cancel the speech. Then we’ll check their motel room. If no one’s heard from them, we may need to call the police.”
“I’ll go up and cancel the speech,” Amos said. “You get the chauffeur to bring the can around.”
Amos hung the suit on the back of the bathroom door and headed for the elevator. When he stepped out, a young man was waiting for him. “This way, Your Highness. You have less than a minute.”
Amos followed him through some double doors. “Wait. I don’t think you understand. See, I need to talk to someone about—”
Amos stopped and looked around. He was on the senate floor. Everyone stood and applauded.
When they sat down, the room was deathly silent. Amos thought about making a run for it. He chewed his lip and looked u
p at the sea of faces in the gallery.
He moved to the podium and tapped the microphone. “Um, hello there. I’m—well, you all know who I am. What I’d like to know is who you are.”
A ripple of laughter passed through the audience.
“Never mind. I can see your nameplates on your desks. Hey—you guys have to sit in alphabetical order too.”
Another ripple of laughter.
Amos waited. The people were smiling. He was a hit. Maybe he should really go for it. He put his hand inside his jacket and puffed out his chest. “Four score and seven years ago …”
“Psst!” Dunc was waving at him from the door.
Amos bent down to the mike. “Hold that thought. Excuse me for just a minute.”
Dunc grabbed him as he opened the door, and the real prince stepped back onto the stage.
Amos stepped back from the mirror. He had just spent twenty minutes slicking his hair back. “Well, what do you think—do I have it right?”
They were back at Dunc’s house, in Dunc’s bedroom. Dunc was unpacking. Amos had decided to wait to unpack until later. Maybe next year.
“It depends. What are you trying to look like—a greaseball?” Dunc put his socks in the drawer.
“I’m trying to look like the prince. I thought I’d go over and impress Melissa. You know, do the bowing and hand-holding routine again.”
“Amos, we promised Gus we wouldn’t tell anybody about you taking his place.”
“I wasn’t going to actually tell her. I thought I’d repeat some of my awesome speech and see if she noticed on her own.”
Dunc laughed. “That was Abraham Lincoln’s speech. And besides, you barely got started. Gus is the one who gave the awesome speech. Thanks to him, the police have Senator Grafter in custody and Gus’s aunt Sophie is in disgrace.”
“He did all right, I guess. But it was because I had the audience warmed up. If you guys hadn’t shown up—”
“If we hadn’t shown up, you would have been in big trouble. I hope Charles is okay. That coatrack I threw out the window hit him pretty hard.”
“He’s okay. But he’ll probably walk with a limp for a while. You had to do it. Otherwise he wouldn’t have noticed you and found a janitor to let you out of Senator Grafter’s office.”
Dunc nodded. “I suppose.”
Amos added a handful of grease to his hair until it was a half-inch or so thick, then started for the door. “Well, wish me luck.”
Dunc thought about telling him that Melissa wouldn’t let him into her house, much less let him hold her hand. He thought about telling Amos that Melissa only smiled for princes. He thought about a lot of things he could say. But instead he just smiled.
“Good luck, Amos.”
Be sure to join Dunc and Amos in these
other Culpepper Adventures:
The Case of the Dirty Bird
When Dunc Culpepper and his best friend, Amos, first see the parrot in a pet store, they’re not impressed—it’s smelly, scruffy, and missing half its feathers. They’re only slightly impressed when they learn that the parrot speaks four languages, has outlived ten of its owners, and is probably 150 years old. But when the bird starts mouthing off about buried treasure, Dunc and Amos get pretty excited—let the amateur sleuthing begin!
Dunc’s Doll
Dunc and his accident-prone friend Amos are up to their old sleuthing habits once again. This time they’re after a band of doll thieves! When a doll that once belonged to Charles Dickens’s daughter is stolen from an exhibition at the local mall, the two boys put on their detective gear and do some serious snooping. Will a vicious watchdog keep them from retrieving the valuable missing doll?
Culpepper’s Cannon
Dunc and Amos are researching the Civil War cannon that stands in the town square when they find a note inside telling them about a time portal. Entering it through the dressing room of La Petite, a women’s clothing store, the boys find themselves in downtown Chatham on March 8, 1862—the day before the historic clash between the Monitor and the Merrimac. But the Confederate soldiers they meet mistake them for Yankee spies. Will they make it back to the future in one piece?
Dunc Gets Tweaked
Dunc and Amos meet up with a new buddy named Lash when they enter the radical world of skateboard competition. When somebody “cops”—steals—Lash’s prototype skateboard, the boys are determined to get it back. After all, Lash is about to shoot for a totally rad world’s record! Along the way they learn a major lesson: Never kiss a monkey!
Dunc’s Halloween
Dunc and Amos are planning the best route to get the most candy on Halloween. But their plans change when Amos is slightly bitten by a werewolf. He begins scratching himself and chasing UPS trucks—he’s become a werepuppy!
Dunc Breaks the Record
Dunc and Amos have a small problem when they try hang gliding—they crash in the wilderness. Luckily, Amos has read a book about a boy who survived in the wilderness for fifty-four days. Too bad Amos doesn’t have a hatchet. Things go from bad to worse when a wild man holds the boys captive. Can anything save them now?
Dunc and the Flaming Ghost
Dunc’s not afraid of ghosts, although Amos is sure that the old Rambridge house is haunted by the ghost of Blackbeard the Pirate. Then the best friends meet Eddie, a meek man who claims to be impersonating Blackbeard’s ghost in order to live in the house in peace. But if that’s true, why are flames shooting from his mouth?
Amos Gets Famous
Deciphering a code they find in a library book, Amos and Dunc stumble onto a burglary ring. The burglars’ next target is the home of Melissa, the girl of Amos’s dreams (who doesn’t even know that he’s alive). Amos longs to be a hero to Melissa, so nothing will stop him from solving this case—not even a mind-boggling collision with a jock, a chimpanzee, and a toilet.
Dunc and Amos Hit the Big Top
In order to impress Melissa, Amos decides to perform on the trapeze at the visiting circus. Look out below! But before Dunc can talk him out of his plan, the two stumble across a mystery behind the scenes at the circus. Now Amos is in double trouble. What’s really going on under the big top?
Dunc’s Dump
Camouflaged as piles of rotting trash, Dunc and Amos are sneaking around the town dump. Dunc wants to find out who is polluting the garbage at the dump with hazardous and toxic waste. Amos just wants to impress Melissa. Can either of them succeed?
Dunc and the Scam Artists
Dunc and Amos are at it again. Some older residents of their town have been bilked by con artists, and the two boys want to look into these crimes. They meet elderly Betsy Dell, whose nasty nephew Frank gives the boys the creeps. Then they notice some soft dirt in Ms. Dell’s shed, and a shovel. Does Frank have something horrible in store for Dunc and Amos?
Dunc and Amos and the Red Tattoos
Dunc and Amos head for camp and face two weeks of fresh air—along with regulations, demerits, KP, and inedible food. But where these two best friends go, trouble follows. They overhear a threat against the camp director and discover that camp funds have been stolen. Do these crimes have anything to do with the tattoo of the exotic red flower that some of the camp staff have on their arms?
Dunc’s Undercover Christmas
It’s Christmastime! and Dunc, Amos, and Amos’s cousin T.J. hit the mall for some serious shopping. But when the seasonal magic is threatened by some disappearing presents, and Santa Claus himself is a prime suspect, the boys put their celebration on hold and go undercover in perfect Christmas disguises! Can the sleuthing trio protect Santa’s threatened reputation and catch the impostor before he strikes again?
The Wild Culpepper Cruise
When Amos wins a “Why I Love My Dog” contest, he and Dunc are off on the Caribbean cruise of their dreams! But there’s something downright fishy about Amos’s suitcase and before they know it, the two best friends wind up with more high-seas adventure than they bargained for. Can Dunc and Amo
s figure out who’s out to get them and salvage what’s left of their vacation?
Dunc and the Haunted Castle
When Dunc and Amos are invited to spend a week in Scotland, Dunc can already hear the bagpipes a-blowin’. But when the boys spend their first night in an ancient castle, it isn’t bagpipes they hear. It’s moans! Dunc hears groaning coming from inside his bedroom walls. Amos notices the eyes of a painting follow him across the room! Could the castle really be haunted? Local legend has it that the castle’s former lord wanders the ramparts at night in search of his head! Team up with Dunc and Amos as they go ghostbusting in the Scottish Highlands!
Cowpokes and Desperadoes
Git along, little dogies! Dunc and Amos are bound for Uncle Woody Culpepper’s Santa Fe cattle ranch for a week of fun. But when they overhear a couple of cowpokes plotting to do Uncle Woody in, the two sleuths are back on the trail of some serious action! Who’s been making off with all the prize cattle? Can Dunc and Amos stop the rustlers in time to save the ranch?
