“It’s not even pleasant to talk about that.”
“You can really save the pleasantries at this point.”
Deanna turned up the heat a bit. “It’s a shame she isn’t better about hiding all those plants her husband grows in their garden.”
“He has cancer,” I said quickly.
“And there’s all those people to whom she sells the weed—”
“She doesn’t sell. She gives it away, for medicinal purposes.” My chest was now tight.
“Drug trafficking is serious business in Tennessee. She’ll go to prison. Think about it, OK? Let’s all get on the same page. Plus we’ve been watching Dr. Richards for some time, and we have recording devices in that hotel room. You know what was said between you, and what a disaster that would be for your family to hear. You want to spare them that kind of embarrassment.”
“He didn’t tell me anything. You and your agents came just as he was about to tell me where he thought William was.”
“He would have lied to you, Lynn, to keep you hoping, to throw you off his track.”
I stared hard at the young woman’s face. “Will you keep looking for William? Or did you ever really look?”
“We did the best we could. I’m fairly sure William … what we believe to be William … will be found in Dr. Richards’s basement. It will be difficult to identify, but even badly burned … it will be enough to convict. What’s important is that your family can move on, once and for all. Do this for them, Mrs. Roseworth. Close this sad chapter.”
We sat in silence for the rest of the drive. As the police escort pulled onto our street, and I could see the girls’ cars in the driveway alongside several others with government plates. The house beamed as if every light and lamp were turned on.
Deanna put the car in park. “Let me come around and help, it might have turned icy—”
“I’m fine,” I said, opening the door and walking briskly through the cold.
Tom was waiting at the back door, and he embraced me with such fierceness it took the wind out of me for a moment. “You should have told me, Lynnie. You shouldn’t have put yourself in any danger.”
“I was never in any danger—”
“Mom.” Stella pulled back Tom to hug me. “Jesus, Mom, what made you think this was a good idea?”
“Going off on your own, Mom?” Kate said, her hands raised. “We were worried sick—”
“Let’s give your mom some breathing room,” Deanna said, closing the door. She met my husband’s disapproving gaze. “I’m sorry, Senator. I wish I could have been more upfront from the beginning.”
“I have a lot to discuss with your boss. But for now, I want to know everything. And these fellas haven’t told us much.” He motioned to the men in suits standing uncomfortably, near the pie safe. He leaned in to me. “Is it true, Lynn? That this is all because of that professor? Steven Richards?”
“Mama?” Anne slowly crossed the room, her eyes bloodshot and her voice breaking. “What did this man do with William?”
“Where is my son,” Chris demanded, his hands behind his head. “Who is Steven Richards?”
“Everyone, please, I know you have lots of questions,” Deanna said. “Let me fill in the holes my partners here couldn’t. Mrs. Roseworth, please have a seat.”
“I don’t need to sit,” I said, but Stella sat me down at the kitchen table, squeezing my hand.
My ears starting to ring as Kate poured another cup of coffee. I watched her fumble with the coffee maker while vaguely hearing the words “obsessed with your mother,” and “domestic terrorism.”
I don’t need to pay attention. I’ve already been given the presentation.
“Your mother led us right to him,” Deanna said.
“Where is my boy?” Anne shrieked.
I started to stand, but Stella held me back. “Mom,” she whispered, “She needs to hear this.”
“We’re combing Dr. Richards’s house in Champaign right now,” Deanna said, and then exhaled. “Mrs. Chance, I’m sorry, but we’ve already found his pajama shirt.”
The family eruption sounded hollow to me. I stared numbly at the wooden table, reaching out to run my finger over a carving, done either by a child, or a nick from a fork or knife.
“I’m going there right now,” Chris said.
Deanna raised one hand. “Mr. Chance—”
“I don’t care if you are with the FBI, lady, we’re going there now,” Chris said, striding from the room. Sobbing, Anne stood and stumbled after him, with Kate helping her to the door.
“Mama!” Anne stopped, looking back wildly.
“Go, Sis,” Stella said. “We’ll take care of the boys.”
“Lynn.” Tom knelt beside me. “I’m going too. I’ll call you from the car. Are you OK? I’ll stay here if you need me—”
“Just go,” I said softly.
“Why would he do this, Lynn?” he asked.
I shook my head and closed my eyes. I could feel him looking at me, but when he heard the sounds of the cars engines turning on, he hurried out.
Deanna walked across the room to stand on the other side of the table. “I hope we’re wrong about William, that he’s still alive. Whatever happens, know your mother is pretty remarkable. It’s amazing what she did for this family.”
“Thank you, Agent,” Stella said.
“We’ll leave a team outside if you have any other questions, and we’ll brief you on any new developments,” she said. “Take care of your family, Mrs. Roseworth.”
I did not look at her as she and the other agents walked out.
“Mom, don’t worry about Brian and Greg. The neighbors are watching them, and I’ll head over there later,” Stella said.
Kate was already on her cell. “Trevor? I know it’s late, but things are moving faster since our last briefing. Here’s the deal: Deanna Ruck is no longer working press for us, that’s got to be you for a bit. It will be very clear quite soon.… I know you don’t know what’s going on, but have a bag ready, you might be going to Champaign, Illinois. I’ll explain in a minute. I’m calling both the Nashville office and the Washington office with strict instructions: All network calls go to me, all local press calls go to you. But here’s what you need to know: No one, I repeat, no member of the media is to approach my mother or my family. Repeat that in your head.…”
“Mama.” Stella pulled up a chair, taking my hand. “You heard the agent. They could be wrong. William could still be alive—”
“It’s a lie,” I whispered.
“What?”
“Nothing.” I pushed away from the table and walked to the sink. My hands were shaking so badly that I dropped the cup into the sink, where it clanged jarringly.
“Mom?” Kate asked, and briefly turned back to the phone. “Marcus, I’ll need to call you back.”
“What is a lie, Mom?” Stella asked, slowly standing.
“Everything!” I cried out, startling both my daughters. “Everything is a lie.”
“I knew there was more,” Stella said, pointing her finger towards me. “I could tell it the minute you came in here. Did that bastard do something to you? Did he, Mom?”
“He didn’t do anything. He didn’t do anything to me or to William.”
“What is it, Mom?” Kate asked.
“Tell us, Mom. That’s how you raised us. No lies. Not ever, even if it’s ugly,” Stella said. “What happened—?”
The back door came flying open and a red-faced Roxy strode in, her gray-streaked hair wet from the snow. “Why in the hell wasn’t I called? Some FBI agent called about twenty minutes ago and told me to hightail it over here, something about you leading them to Steven Richards.”
“You know about him too?” Kate asked.
“Um, not really, that’s just what the agent said,” Roxy replied.
“You’re a terrible liar, Roxy.” Stella flicked a hair from her forehead.
“Well, somebody tell me what’s going on,” Roxy said.
Roxy stormed across the room. “This was tonight? Lynn, why didn’t you tell me? I would have gone with you! Does the FBI really think he kidnapped William? Do they know—?”
I raised my hand ever so slightly, and Roxy bit her lip. Stella saw it all. “I don’t know what you two aren’t telling, but you better spill it. Mom says this Richards character didn’t hurt her or William. Mom, for the last time, what is going on?”
“Tell her, Lynnie,” Roxy said.
“You don’t know what they’ll do, Roxy. I do. They made it very clear that we all have to play along. They’ll come after you too.”
“No one is coming after anyone,” Kate insisted. “I can guarantee you that.”
“You can’t guarantee this, Kate,” I said.
“I can tell you one thing, Lynn Roseworth…” Roxy leaned on the table. “I’m not afraid.”
“Well, I am.”
“Tell them, Lynn.”
I looked from Roxy to my girls and sighed. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“Oh hell,” Roxy said, sitting down at the table. “Start with the damn aliens.”
THIRTEEN
Complete silence was so rare in the house that I was surprised by the noises that surfaced in the sudden stillness of the room. I’d never noticed, even in the deep of night in Tom’s frequent absences, how the pantry door slightly tapped against its wood frame when the heat kicked on; how the holly bush outside the east kitchen window flicked against the pane; even how the energy-efficient bulbs that were now so dramatically expensive at Target hummed in the black chandelier above the dining-room table. But I heard it all in that moment. The air even seemed unsure what to do, as if no one was bothering to breathe.
It was in the silence that sprung from my daughters’ astonishment, hearing me tell of my work with Steven Richards, that I knew I would not share everything. That would be for Tom and Tom alone.
“You … were a UFO researcher?” Kate asked at last.
“I told you, I wasn’t a Researcher, at first. I was only an office manager.”
“It’s going to take me a minute,” Stella said. “The guy who kidnapped William studies UFOs? And you used to be his assistant? And you went to his motel room tonight? What did he tell you?”
“He said … he was going to tell me what really happened to William. He doesn’t have William.” And what happened to William happened to me, as well.
“What do you mean ‘What really happened’?” Kate asked. “That William … was abducted by aliens?”
When I didn’t respond, Kate shook her head. “Mom, come on. Mom, are you kidding me?”
“Give your Mom a break, Kate,” Roxy scolded. “She’s been through a lot.”
“I know Steven isn’t responsible.”
“How could you possibly know that, Mom?” Kate walked to the edge of the table. “And do you care to elaborate on why he has such an obsession with you and this family?”
“Watch that East Coast tone when you talk to your mother, Kate Elizabeth,” Roxy warned.
“I know we’re not getting the whole story, Mom,” Kate said.
“I had to do whatever I could to try to find William.”
“Are we talking about getting answers from UFO researchers?” Kate asked.
“What if it helps us find William? And I can’t live with someone being punished for something he didn’t do—”
“Jesus Christ, Mom,” Kate said. “Why do you want to protect this man so much? Are you even listening to what you’re saying?”
“I saw the reports once, I knew them inside out. I worked hard on those cases, I made the connections. I wasn’t just some housewife—”
“Is that what this is all about? Trying to reclaim some past independence?” Kate said. “My God, Mom, you will ruin Dad. You will ruin this family—”
“I will not let this family be ruined.” A sob caught in my throat. “Don’t you see why I had to do this? Losing William, and Brian in the state he’s in now, will hang over us forever.”
“Mom, this is over.” Kate circled the table and knelt, unsuccessfully trying to get me to look at her. “You have to get it together. William … could be dead. We have to prepare for that. Listen to what the police are saying. To what the FBI is saying. I know you don’t want to let go of William, none of us do. They said they found his clothes.…”
“It’s not the truth. It’s not the truth even if Steven is charged. Even if he’s convicted. It’s not the truth.”
“Fine, Mom, fine. Buy into their crazy shit—”
“Kate, back off,” Stella said.
“I won’t back off. Good God, Mom, you aren’t even crying! William is dead—”
“He’s not dead! Steven said he knows where he is—”
“Don’t you dare say that to Anne or anyone else. I will not let your delusions give her irrational hope or make us the laughingstock of the country. Do you know what they’ll say? ‘Oh, that poor wife of Senator Roseworth, she’s so distraught she’s lost her mind.’”
“Jesus, are you always in PR mode? Have you ever known this woman to be delusional? Ever? For one moment in our entire lives?” Stella asked.
“Did you ever know that our Mom believes in aliens?” Kate motioned to me. “Or that she had an affair on Dad?”
“Kate Elizabeth!” Roxy stood.
“It’s so obvious. I’m done here.” Kate walked across the room and grabbed her purse. “But know for damned sure I’m not letting you do this, Mom. No fucking way.” She walked out and slammed the door.
“Go after her, Stella,” I said softly. “Let her smoke a bit, but don’t let her drive. She’s too upset.”
“I’m going to tell her where she can shove those cigarettes.” Stella lifted her coat from where it hung on a chair. “I have to be honest with you, Mom—this is really … hard to understand.”
She obviously wanted to say more, but instead walked out the door.
I stood and looked out the window. Stella chased after Kate, her hands rubbing her arms. “Clash of the Titans, there. Daddy’s girl versus momma’s girl,” Roxy said, coming to stand beside me. She put her hand on my shoulder. “Lynnie, you have to rest,” she whispered.
“I can’t—”
“It’s not a suggestion. Time to take an Ambien, or maybe one of Anne’s Xanax, if she left one lying around. I’m not kidding, Lynn. Tomorrow is going to be tough when word comes out about Steven. You are going to have to get some sleep.”
“How can I sleep? How can I sleep knowing what’s about to happen?”
“You don’t know what’s about to happen.”
“I have to tell Tom. He has to know.”
“In time you can tell him everything.”
“There isn’t time, Roxy. Don’t you see? They’re going to plant evidence in Steven’s house, to try to prove William is dead. How can I live with that?”
“Plant evidence? Really? Oh Lynn, why would they do that—?”
“They’ll arrest you for drug trafficking. They know about your basement.”
“What?” Roxy said in astonishment. Seeing my horrified look, she forced a smile. “So I’ll become a folk hero in East Nashville, big deal.”
“They’ll send you to prison!”
“Oh Christ, Lynn, I’m nearly seventy. They won’t prosecute me. Plus, even if they do, I’ll be out in a few days anyway. Some Colorado attorney will swoop in and save me.”
“I can’t live with that!”
“Well, I can’t live with you having a heart attack or a nervous breakdown, which is where you’re headed if you don’t get some rest. It’s been a terrible night, and the
re’s nothing you can do now. I’ll stay with you—”
“No, go home. I’ll call you in the morning.”
“I suppose I better go home and destroy the evidence.” Roxy rubbed her eyes. “I’ll go play referee with the girls. You, take some good legal drugs and knock out. Understand?”
I nodded, watching Roxy pull on her gloves, point towards my bedroom and then step out the door.
I slowly ascended the stairs to the dark bedroom. On the edge of the bed, green eyes flashed. The cat had all but vanished in the commotion, but Voodoo decided it was safe to resurface. As I laid down, he approached in the darkness and nuzzled my hand. I softly scratched his neck.
After several minutes, I heard Roxy’s pickup drive away. I didn’t hear the door to the house open, which meant the girls were still at it.
My lower back ached. My favorite flannel nightgown was still on the chair by my bed. Voodoo’s nuzzling was already making me drowsy. My eyes won’t feel so dry when I shut them. Kate was right; this is over. I will offer support. I will be stable. I will pick up the pieces of our family and put us back together in time. I will move us away from this property and fulfill Daddy’s last wish.
I closed my eyes, ready to let the darkness lull me away. But instead, all I could think of was a little boy. Not William, but Brian, lying in this very bed on the night William disappeared, after he had whispered the last words he would ever speak.
We lost two children that night.
I was on the stairs a moment later, hurrying to where my coat lay limp on the table. I quickly buttoned it up and looked out the window, seeing the embers from Kate’s cigarette flashing in the spitting snow as she and Stella argued near the back porch.
Keys in hand, I walked through the dining room and into the formal living room, exiting through the rarely used front door. I quietly locked it behind me and slowly walked down the front stairs, then rushed to the Volvo. I slipped in, fired it up, and tore down the driveway, embarrassed by the gravel I was kicking up.
In my rearview mirror, I saw the girls waving and calling out my name frantically. I hated that I would cause them to worry, on top of the news of William’s supposed death.
I reached over to silence the phone as the first call came in from Stella. I pressed the gas, knowing I would be long gone before either could get to their cars and hope to follow.
The Darkest Time of Night Page 15
