by J. E. Cluney
A step up from the old look in my opinion.
I paid Ray no heed as I stripped out of my jeans and strategically removed my bra without taking my shirt off. Then I slipped under the covers, snuggling into them as my body sagged into the mattress.
I managed a small smile as Ray sat beside me on the bed.
“Some of the women are staying at my Mom’s place since it’s relatively close, and Ruben is out in the living area,” he said, as if he needed to explain why he was sitting on the bed. I got his drift though.
“You can sleep here, with me,” I murmured.
“You sure?” he asked hesitantly.
“Yeah, but only to cuddle. I’m not up for anything,” I mumbled.
“Of course,” he said, and his voice was sincere and sweet.
He slipped in behind me after stripping out of his jeans, and I relaxed as he shuffled closer.
His arm snaked over my waist slowly, as if he was making sure I was okay with it.
I just caught his hand and held it to my chest as I snuggled back into him. He was so warm and comforting, smelling faintly of spices and musk.
And thanks to him, no nightmares snuck into my dreams.
I awoke with a start, reaching back to find Ray, only to meet empty space. The early morning sun was filtering through the small windows overhead, and I tucked myself into the blankets as I stared at the wall.
Richard’s growls and grunts slipped into my mind, and I squeezed my eyes shut to fight off the darkness threatening to take me.
I blinked, gritting my teeth as I reached down off of the bed and fished around for my jeans.
There.
I slid them closer, sliding my fingers into the pocket and pulling out the small Nano iPod with earphones. I stuck them in, opening up the playlist Ray had titled ‘Healing and Inspirational’.
I found my new favorite, ‘Heartbeat’, and closed my eyes as the music and words filled my ears. It battled off the shadows in my mind, and I relaxed with a sigh at the power it had. I’d never have fully comprehended the strength of music and words until now, and I was beyond grateful.
I allowed the music to pulse through me; the chorus resonating deeply with me.
‘I want to wake up, I want to restart, put the drumbeat back in my heart, I need to be revived, bring me back to life.’
My eyes snapped open as I sensed a presence, but calmed when I spied Ray in the doorway.
I switched the music off and set the iPod and earphones on the bedside table as he strode over. The scent he carried was heavenly, and I eagerly looked to the plates.
“Crepes, my father taught me how to make them. I made us caramelized apple and cinnamon filled crepes with whipped cream,” he grinned as he offered me a plate of the goodness.
I accepted with a nod and used a pillow as a resting place for the plate on my lap as I dug in.
“Mmm, so good,” I moaned as I stuffed the utter sweetness into my mouth. The caramelized apple was amazing, and the whipped cream just added to the deliciousness.
“Thanks, I hoped I made it right, it’s been a while,” Ray breathed a breath of relief as he sat beside me and dove into his.
I was beyond grateful that’d he’d made me two, because one certainly wasn’t enough as I shoveled it into my mouth, struggling to take it slow so I could truly enjoy it.
“Ma came back with Pa, and Charlotte is helping them get some breakfast for the children and those bikers. They’ve just set up camp outside the lodge to keep a closer eye on those who are most at risk, the children. Ma said we owe them food for their quick arrival to aid us,” Ray mumbled through a mouthful of food.
“We’re paying them for their service, but I guess we should feed them too,” I chuckled.
“I saw them this morning. They look strong, and scary, but they’re not. Some of the kids went out to say hi, and they’re quite friendly and nice. I’d heard of traveling Packs, it’s an interesting way to live,” he mused.
“I’ll have to go and introduce myself after breakfast, meet their Alpha,” I said once I’d swallowed.
“I think they’ve just sent out half their Pack on patrol to relieve our own men. They’re not as big as us in number, not even close, only about twenty, and mostly men too, although I think I saw a few women. At least they all look like they know how to fight, which is better than what we’ve got,” he said.
“I’ve heard about those Packs. They tend to be the kind of Packs who have multiple mates to one she-wolf, like in the cities,” I said, excitement coursing through me. I’d love to meet another she-wolf like myself, someone I could talk to about this way of life. About having multiple mates.
“Huh, interesting,” Ray murmured as he finished up his breakfast and took my empty plate from me.
“Want a drink?” he asked. “Coffee, hot chocolate?”
“I’m good for now,” I said as I shook my head.
I settled back against the head of the bed, propped up by a few fluffy pillows.
The worries and fear from last night returned with a vengeance, and my chest tightened as I wondered about Mary, Beth, and Bianca.
I groaned as their faces flashed through my mind.
“Worried about your friends?” Ray asked softly.
“Yeah. I hope they’re okay,” I murmured. There was no way of knowing if they were okay. I hated to think they’d suffered at the hands of those men.
What did they plan to do with them?
“Your Pack will get them back, I don’t doubt it,” Ray assured me.
“I feel like I should be helping,” I sighed in defeat.
“I know. But your responsibilities lie here now. You need to help out this Pack, start fixing it and changing all the ugly into beauty,” he reminded me.
I turned to look at him, at his sweet face, his crooked nose from one too many hits I imagined, the scar running down through his left eyebrow and cheek. It was a miracle he could still open his eye fully, let alone see. And that stubble that had taken over his jawline, God, it made him look devilishly handsome in a rugged way.
My mind didn’t get a chance to argue before I caught his mouth with mine, and he welcomed my gentle lips as he kissed me.
I cupped his face, stroking his rough stubble and tracing his jawline tentatively.
His arousal swept through the air between us and I gulped in the scent, allowing it to heat me up inside.
I ignored the ugly, unwanted thoughts that tried to push through. I wanted to take back my passion and power, to remind myself of how good sex was, to fight off the horrid memories of Richard that were still so fresh in my mind.
“I want to have sex,” I moaned as I broke the kiss and moved to straddle him.
“I don’t think…” he began, but I shushed him as I claimed his mouth once more.
I knew he wanted me, he was just worried for me. Worried about my fragile mind, the disgusting things that plagued me.
I used to love sex, and I wanted to love it again. I just needed to be reminded of it. Of the goodness and the closeness, of the love and lust, the craving for that connectedness pushing me to pull my shirt off.
I wanted to show him the way, to introduce him to it. I wanted to take my time and enjoy it.
Ray moaned as he frantically unbuttoned his shirt and scrunched it up before tossing it to the floor.
“I need to feel it, how good it can be,” I gasped as I broke the kiss to nibble on his earlobe.
“But… I haven’t…” he rasped as his hands trailed down my naked sides.
“It’s okay, I’ll instruct you,” I chuckled. Tightness curled inside my abdomen, but I forced myself to ignore the anxiousness and fear.
Ray would never hurt me, he’d saved me. His sweetness and innocence was something I hoped could fix this, or at least help me begin to mend.
I ran my fingers down his tanned chest, focusing on the foreplay. I needed to feel more comfortable before we could even consider starting the main stuff.
He wa
tched me quietly as I explored his lean, muscled body, running my hands down his arms, kissing his collarbone and nibbling the sweet spot where his neck met his shoulder.
I dragged my fingers over his chest, dancing them around his perky little nipples before touching them. He shivered at the new sensations as I pinched them lightly and then moved down to suckle them. He seemed uneasy at first, but then his pleasure overrode his uncertainty.
I continued working my hands down his body, loving the feel of his tight abs and circling his belly button playfully. So goddamn hot, so sexy and gorgeous with that blissful smile on his lips.
I released his nipple from my mouth and moved up to kiss him again, my hands playing with his waistband. I unbuckled the belt he’d put on, removing it in one clean motion before tossing it to the floor.
I’d barely had a chance to unbutton and slide the zip down on his jeans before he was rolling me over. He did it carefully and slowly, making sure I was comfortable with it as he stared questioningly into my eyes. I just gazed at him, drawing in soft, hot breaths as my body filled with a sudden burst of nervous excitement. It overrode the worry and torment, and he seemed to see this in my eyes as he dipped down to kiss my breasts.
His mouth was inexperienced and his hands unsure as he explored my body, caressing and touching every inch as he kissed me all over. Then he was back to my supple breasts, tenderly stroking them and running a thumb over the perk nubs. His hot breath washed over my left nipple and I quivered as his warm mouth enveloped it.
He sucked and nipped carefully, moaning as I responded in delight.
I needed this, this sweetness, this soft touch and affection.
He looked up at me questioningly as he slowly kissed his way down my body.
I just watched him, my breath hitching when he reached my black panties, all I had left on.
He stopped, staring at me with sweet doe eyes, waiting for me to give him the a-okay.
I nodded firmly, not wanting to risk freaking out and ending this before it had really started. He needed to keep going, for my sake.
He slowly pulled my panties down, kissing around the red mound of hair as he drew in a deep breath, enjoying my scent.
“You smell so good,” he moaned as he nuzzled my hair.
I froze as his tongue flicked against my folds, exploring my nether regions carefully and lapping up my wetness. I could tell he had no idea what he was doing, but I just focused on the tenderness of it, the way he explored me down there with his fingers and mouth, kissing my inner thighs too before diving back to explore my womanhood.
I sighed as I closed my eyes, focusing on his gentle touch, on the way those inexperienced fingers carefully dipped inside me. He moaned as he felt my walls caressing his fingers, and a blast of hot arousal emanated from him.
I moaned as my body reacted to his, and he lapped at the new wetness that had flowed forth.
He awkwardly fingered me, testing out certain ways and motions, watching me for my responses. He soon picked up that hooking his fingers and stroking my walls was the best way to get a response from me.
“Um… can you… is this…” he mumbled, his voice muffled as he swirled his tongue around my lady parts in no particular way.
It took me a moment to register what he was trying to say.
“Here,” I gasped as his fingers stroked me once more inside. I reached down to rub a finger across my clit, the sensation making my body tingle.
He just watched the motion, and when I was sure he realized where the clit was, I removed my hand.
His mouth moved to cover my clit, and I moaned in bliss as his tongue began stroking it, flicking out and testing what worked best.
He suckled and licked it as he used his fingers inside me, and I arched as the pleasure began to build up inside me.
“Oh God,” I gasped, beyond overjoyed that I was able to enjoy this, that it was prevailing over the ugly shit in my mind.
He took my words as encouragement and began quickening his fingers and tongue.
I moaned and gasped, mewing as I writhed beneath him. He struggled to keep his mouth in place as I moved, and resorted to holding one of my hips down with his free hand.
I trembled and gasped, the pleasure building up quickly and shooting through me.
I cried out as the orgasm washed over me fiercely, exploding deep inside and rocking my body as I shook.
“Fuck,” Ray groaned as he slipped his fingers out and moved down to drink up my orgasmic fluids.
I lay breathless and sated for the moment, trembling as the after-waves of bliss tingled through me.
“Can I?” he questioned as he sat up, his jeans tugged down to expose his engorged cock. It jutted up into the air, screaming its desire as it twitched.
I stared at it, at the delicious size of his dick, the way he held firmly in his hand, struggling to not just pump it and explode all over himself.
I lazily nodded, my body quivering at the thought of it sliding into me. Of his strong, firm dick filling me, rocking into me.
He shimmied forward, leaning over me as I hooked one leg over his hip.
He drew in shaky breaths, and those deep, dark eyes were hot and hungry, but also nervous.
“It’s okay,” I breathed as I slid my hand down his chiseled, delicious body to curl my fingers around his length.
He’d readied himself before me, but he was uneasy about continuing.
I guided him down against my slick folds, enjoying his sharp intake of air as he growled at the touch against his length.
I positioned it against my entrance, rubbing him against my juices as I moaned in anticipation.
“Inside, please,” I gasped.
He hesitantly pushed forward, the tip of his length sliding into me with ease.
He shuddered and moaned as he continued, pushing in until he was buried inside me.
“God, you feel amazing,” he moaned as he leaned over me to kiss my neck.
He worked his way up my jaw and across my chin before passionately kissing me, and I didn’t fight him as he deepened it, thrusting his tongue into my mouth.
I moaned and rocked against him as he began grinding into me, holding my leg against his hip and driving himself into me.
The muscles rippled down his back, and the rock-hard muscles in his upper arms flexed as he moaned and drew in ragged breaths.
I kissed him, littering his neck and shoulders with fervent kisses as he made sweet, soft love to me.
I doubted his ability to last long, and when I felt him nearing his climax, I arched against him, forcing him deeper inside me.
“Taylor,” he moaned. “Goddamn, fuck,” he growled as he thrust into me with a bit more force. Two deep thrusts and he shuddered violently as his seed exploded inside me.
I wrapped my body around him as he came and collapsed on me, forcing himself to hold his weight off me with one arm.
The comforting weight of him on top of me, our bodies still joined, it was the piece of heaven I needed.
I kissed his neck, a contented state falling over me as I ran my hands up and down his back while he caught his breath.
“Damn, that was amazing,” he murmured as he kissed my shoulder.
“It was,” I said quietly, closing my eyes as he trailed sloppy kisses up and down my neck, worshipping my body with such sweet care.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t last long,” he sighed, grumbling in embarrassment.
I just managed a slight chuckle.
“Don’t be, you were amazing, you learned how to use your mouth and hands to finish a woman, and considering it’s your first time, that’s pretty amazing,” I assured him as I stroked his hair, running my fingers through his short, dark hair. It was soft and carried the scent of flowers, obviously a pleasant shampoo he used. Not too overpowering to the nose, as were many modern day soaps and washes.
He pulled out and flopped beside me, his chest heaving as he laughed softly.
“That was incredible,” he said b
reathlessly.
I just rolled and raised myself on one arm to stare at him. So innocent and filled with a newfound bliss.
He practically glowed with a sexual satisfaction, and my face broke into a grin.
“Thank you,” he said as he rolled to face me, propping himself up on one arm too.
“I wanted to, I needed it. It was… good,” I breathed. It was more than good. It had forced the horrid thoughts out, reminding me of how good it could be, of how it was meant to be. It had helped ease the fear and pain brought on by Richard’s unwanted body, lessened the desire to hide away from who I really was.
I was someone who loved sex, that had been a big thing about me since I’d first been with Jaye.
I felt as though it was a core part of who I was, and Richard had shattered it for me.
Only momentarily. Ray was the one I needed to help fix that. To drive off the darkness cowering in the corners of my mind.
I shuffled forward, snuggling into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.
I needed him more than he knew.
2
We’d only laid together for about ten minutes before the bedroom door burst open.
I was beyond thankful that Ray had pulled the covers over us.
“Ray! That big werewolf from last night just got here, he bought us some movies, he says they’re Disney and Pixar favorites, and he’s brought us chocolates for later when we watch them!” Ruben announced as he leaped onto the bed and grinned at us.
“Ruben! You need to knock first,” Ray scolded him.
Ruben scrunched up his face as he sniffed the air. “It smells funny in here.”
“Get out you little terror,” Ray groaned as he sat up and reached for him.
Ruben darted out of his reach as he shot off the bed, casting a sly glance back at us. His eyes darted between us and then a mischievous grin crossed his face.
“I’m telling Mom,” he declared, and then he hurtled back out the door, leaving it wide open in his wake.
“Ugh,” Ray groaned as he lay back against the pillows. “I could kill him sometimes.”
