by Anna Santos
“Of course I care about you!”
He pointed a finger at me while he continued to lash out. “It doesn’t look like it. You should have called me the moment you wanted to leave that nightclub, so I could bring you home. You shouldn’t have been there in the first place.”
I screamed, “You could have joined me there!”
He shouted back, “I was busy!”
Stepping away, I tried to explain myself again. “I was with my parents! I’m not your prisoner. I can go out, and I can spend time with my parents.”
“You weren’t spending time with them. You were spending time with Philippe. And we both know that Philippe has your parents under his spell. Can’t you understand that he doesn’t care about you? He enjoys making us doubt each other and making me suffer. He isn’t sorry about what he did. He just doesn’t want us to be happy.”
“Then I guess he has succeeded since you aren’t making any effort to understand my reasons and to believe me when I say that nothing happened between me and him!”
We stared at each other for a few moments. My heart throbbed in my ears as I tried to control my uneven breathing.
“I don’t want to fight with you,” I whimpered, emotional by what was going on. “You aren’t being reasonable.”
“You protected him,” he said, stepping back because I moved forward to reach and touch him.
Having him reject my touch made me hurt more.
“You were going to kill him. You would have frozen him to death.”
“So? Do you think he doesn’t deserve it?”
My stare became blank and my breathing paused. I didn’t know how to answer to that question.
He growled. “You have feelings for him. He’s a monster. He didn’t want you! How can you be there, at his side, defending him and his actions?”
“I’m not,” I mumbled. “I’m trying to tell you that nothing happened between me and him. We just talked, he asked me for forgiveness, and I told him I wouldn’t forgive him for what he had done. I got drunk, I ended up at his place, and I phoned you after I woke up. Is that so hard to understand?”
Cedric kept staring at me and it hurt me that he doubted me in the first place.
“I have no reasons to lie, Cedric. If I wanted to get back with him, I wouldn’t have called you to tell you what had happened.”
“You have feelings for him,” he said. I was going to refute, but he motioned his hand to quiet me down. “You do. He was your mate—even if he tried to kill you—and you still have a connection. It’s up to you to break it or not. Do you want me to die?”
His question saddened me even more. “Of course not!”
“We will fail the trial if you have feelings for him. If you fall for his lies and fake regret. You need to stay away from him.”
“I will,” I whispered, troubled by the reminder of what would happen to him if I didn’t love him enough. “I’m sorry, Cedric,” I said, wanting to run into his arms and hold him.
“Don’t,” he ordered when I made a move to get closer to hug him. “You need to think about what you’ve done. You need to go to your room and understand the consequences of your actions. This isn’t a game. You’ve become my whole world since we were bonded, but you need to want me to be your whole world, too. Being my mate is not just fancy parties and pretty dresses. It comes with a lot of responsibilities and sacrifices. You won’t be human anymore. You can’t fulfill your old dreams. I’m in your life now. We need to make new dreams. If we survive the trial, we’ll need to keep the peace, have children, kill vampires if they cross the line, and deal with your former mate. You’ll see him with other women. It’s in his nature. Why do you think he didn’t want a mate in the first place?”
His words were harsh and unnecessary. Is he saying all these things to hurt me or to test me? I had no idea. They hurt nevertheless. My silence must have made him realize that he was being too hard on me.
“Think about all of this. Then get changed and meet Camille to resume your practice. You can’t skip your magic lessons. You need to focus on what’s important. Sightseeing is something you can do after we survive this. Your parents are a liability. I’ll make sure I send them back to America and keep them safe from Philippe’s manipulation.”
“Leave my parents alone!” I told him, snapping out of my numb state.
“We have to cancel the dinner. I must send them away. As long as they’re here, Philippe will use them to get to you. And if he hurts them?”
“You will leave my parents alone,” I stated once again with an authoritative voice. “I’m not kidding, Cedric. Stay away from them.”
He narrowed his eyes, and I noticed how he tensed. After a moment, he said, “Fine, do whatever you want. They’re your parents. I’ll be in my office with Jacob when you’re ready to ask forgiveness for what you’ve done, and when you want to act like a grown-up woman.”
He left after his speech, leaving me staring into the void in deep thought. His words echoed in my mind until my body gave in and I sat on the floor, sobbing like a little girl. I wasn’t sure why I was crying so much. Something inside me hurt. A part of me was shattering into pieces. Then, my phone started to vibrate in my pocket. I took it out and saw it was Philippe calling. Even if I didn’t want him to know that I was crying, I picked it up anyway. I wasn’t sure why, though.
“Are you okay? Aria, Aria?” He was talking, but I couldn’t answer right away. “Why are you crying? Did he do something to you? Do you want me to go there and get you?”
“I’m okay,” I mumbled, trying to quit sobbing.
“So why are you crying?” I felt the concern and sadness in his voice.
Trembling, I brushed my tears away. “You shouldn’t have called.”
“I was worried about you. I didn’t want him to punish you for something that he thinks I’ve done.”
“He’s mad because I’ve hurt his feelings.”
“Do you want me to come get you?”
“No! I’m fine,” I protested. “Why don’t you believe me?”
“Then stop crying. It’s hard to believe you when you’re crying so much.”
“I’m trying to stop...”
Philippe’s voice was sweet when he spoke again. “Okay, I’m sorry. I know this is all my fault.”
“Yes, it is,” I agreed, wiping away the new tears. “You should have left me alone. I was happy.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that,” I said. “It isn’t helping.”
“I know.”
I stopped crying, relaxing at the notion that he was on the other side of the line, listening to me and waiting for me to calm down. It was peculiar, but knowing that he was keeping me company soothed my pain.
“What happened? Why are you crying?”
“He’s mad at me,” I said, feeling childish because of the tone of voice I used.
“He’ll get over it. Give him some time.”
“He’s jealous.”
“Yes, I know. He should have let me explain before he tried to kill me.”
“Well, he…doesn’t like you.”
“I have that effect on people.”
“It’s not funny, Philippe,” I said. “Are you hurt?”
“No, I’m fine. I heal fast.”
“Okay.”
I didn’t know what else to say to him. It was an awkward conversation. I shouldn’t have been talking to him in the first place. Cedric would get even madder if he found out.
“You know, Aria, the whole point of me giving up on you is for you to be happy. If he doesn’t make you happy…”
I pondered his words. My voice trembled when I said, “Do you truly want to make me happy?”
“Yes.”
“Then leave us alone. Don’t call me anymore. Don’t use my parents to see me again. Please, stay away.”
For a few moments, the silence was unbearable. I knew he was sad at my words. My heart was being slashed from the inside out for saying them. But I
needed to stay away from him. I was just a human—or half-human at least— and I needed him away. There was a limit to how much I could reason with myself in order to stay immune to his charm. I knew what he’d done to me. However, I’d also had the chance to get to know him and realize what we could have had together if he hadn’t done what he did. We were connected. I could feel his pain and sense the pull between us. I knew he had feelings for me. I could be naïve, but I wasn’t blind to my emotions. I was even less blind where it concerned Philippe. He was so easy to be with! At least, when he wasn’t the psycho vampire who wanted me gone.
“I don’t want to be a vampire,” I whispered, embracing my body to ease the pain. My throat hurt, my limbs burned, and I wanted to cry louder and scream until I ran out of breath. “I’m not even sure if I want to be an angel. But I…have feelings for Cedric. He loves me. I know he does. Even if you claim that you’re just trying to ask my forgiveness, I know you…don’t want to let me go. But you need to. Philippe, are you listening to me?”
“Yes,” he whispered, and I felt the pain that was torturing his soul. I didn’t want to tell him these words. I would rather ignore his existence and forget I had ever met him. At least then, I wouldn’t have to hurt so much. “Aria…”
“Please don’t,” I begged, afraid of what he might say after the way he said my name. “Just tell me goodbye and let me hang up the phone.”
“And if I don’t say it?”
“Then, you’ll make me cry even more. And you said you didn’t want to hurt me anymore.”
“That’s unfair, Aria,” he protested.
I smiled between my tears. It was silly how childish he sounded right then. “Life isn’t fair, is it?”
“No, it isn’t.”
“Then let me go.”
There was another pause, and I could hear him breathing. My heart was beating slowly because of his silence. Until it happened.
“Goodbye, pixie angel.” He hung up.
I dropped the phone on the floor and stared at the void, emotionless. I didn’t cry anymore. The tears dried up magically and my soul became as empty and as silent as death.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
ARIA
I had decided that I needed time to myself to think more clearly about what was going on with my life lately. Cedric’s words hurt me deeply. His actions hurt me more. Therefore, I had gone to my bedroom to pack my things—the belongings that were left. I didn’t want to take anything he had given me. Those clothes and gifts weren’t mine, not anymore. I’d been perfectly happy before I’d been thrown inside this world of supernatural beings and luxury. I missed my old self.
With my clothes packed, I went downstairs to look for Camille. I needed to know the house’s address, so I could call a cab to come and get me. I would probably call my uncle and go back to his house or come clean to my parents and explain to them what was really going on. I was sick of lying to them. Besides, my dad was mad. I hadn’t explained my real motive for not showing up at the Louvre. I’d texted him a lame excuse, but he kept calling me. From the messages he’d sent me, it was clear he wasn’t happy.
“Where are you going?”
Camille’s question startled me. I turned around to face her. I had the luggage in my hands and I’d been staring at the front door, pondering whether to tell Cedric or not before I left.
She walked towards me. “Why aren’t you dressed for practice?”
“I’m leaving,” I said.
“Where?”
“I…don’t know yet. But I can’t stay here anymore.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Cedric…is mad at me. I’m mad at him, too. He’s being unreasonable and I’m extremely sad because of the things he did and said.”
Camille’s eyes widened in shock. “What did he do?”
I sighed as I clutched my bag with both hands. “It’s a long story. I don’t have the nerve to talk about it right now. Not now that I’m feeling extremely sad. Can you help me get to my uncle’s house?” I made puppy dog eyes, trying to act courageous. I hoped I wasn’t a prisoner and that I could leave. It worried me. And if Cedric doesn’t let me leave? I thought about everything that had happened and everything he’d said to me. I was more and more aware of something disturbing. I wasn’t really free. I couldn’t do what I wanted when I wanted. And that wasn’t okay.
“I can take you wherever you want to go, but you need to ask Cedric’s permission first,” Camille said.
I sulked before I boldly told her, “That’s the thing. I don’t need to. He doesn’t own me, and I’m not one of his subjects.”
Camille waved her hands for me to calm down. “You’re soulmates. You should tell him if you want to leave him.”
“I’m not in the mood to talk to him. That’s why I want to leave this place.”
“Don’t you think you’re rushing into that decision? Whatever he did, he probably had a reason.”
“You’re taking his side,” I muttered. “Why wouldn’t you? He’s your prince, and everybody will make me look like the bad guy in this story. But I don’t care. I know what I did, and I don’t have a guilty conscience. I just want to leave. I don’t want to talk to Cedric. It may seem immature, but I don’t want to talk to a person who doesn’t let me explain or even try to understand my reasons for doing things.”
“Calm down,” Camille said, edging closer.
I recoiled. It was an instinctual decision; maybe I didn’t trust her or any one of these angels enough to let me leave this house. I should be “grounded”, locked inside my own bedroom, thinking about the wrong I’d done, in Cedric’s words. “What’s wrong with you, Aria?”
“I want to leave this house,” I told her. “If you aren’t going to help me, don’t stand in my way.”
Narrowing her eyes, Camille folded her arms, clearly upset. “I thought we were friends. So now you don’t trust me?”
“I don’t even trust myself since my angel is against my decision.”
“She should be since you’re planning to leave your mate. Scratch that, you’re planning to run away. I don’t know what Cedric has done, but whatever it was, you should talk to him before you leave.”
“I tried to talk; he didn’t listen to me.”
“Let him calm down and then try again.”
“I’m tired of being the one who has to understand everything and do everything to please him. I’m a person. I have feelings and dreams. I’m not a child to be bossed around and treated like I’m stupid and ungrateful.”
“Leaving without talking to him isn’t the mature thing to do, Aria.”
“What’s going on in here?”
I turned my head to see Jacob standing on the staircase, looking down at his wife and me. For a moment, I feared it was Cedric. My heart jolted and I realized that I was afraid of being caught and stopped from leaving. When did that happen? When did I start to see Cedric as a threat and not my boyfriend? Probably when he’d tried to kill Philippe in front of me and told me how dumb and ungrateful I was.
“Aria is…a little confused,” Camille said, and I understood that she was struggling to conceal my intention to leave from her husband.
“Where’s Cedric?” I asked.
“I think he’s on the roof,” Jacob replied.
I arched an eyebrow at the odd answer. “Doing what?”
“He always chooses to stay on high grounds when he’s sad.” Jacob walked down the stairs and stared at my luggage. “You two had a fight but that’s no reason for you to leave us. I’m sure Cedric doesn’t want that.”
“Did he tell you why we had a fight?” I asked.
“No, he didn’t want to talk about it. He’s…miserable. He doesn’t like to share when he’s like this.”
“I don’t want to talk about it either. I want to leave,” I told him in a serious voice to make my point. I ignored the voice inside my head that was bothered about Cedric’s sadness. He didn’t care about hurting my feelings, so why should I
be concerned about his?
“Just give me your luggage and go talk to him before doing something stupid,” Jacob suggested.
I pursed my lips and gritted my teeth. Why is everybody treating me like a spoiled child?
“You should have given him the same advice; then we wouldn’t be in this situation.” I turned my back to him to head towards the door. “Since no one wants to take me to my parents, I’ll walk. I’m sure I’ll find a place where people can help me and tell me where I am.”
“Don’t be silly, Aria. I’ll take you, but only after you talk to Cedric,” Camille said, stopping in front of me. I glared at her. “It’s childish. You know it is. He may have hurt you, but it won’t make things better if you leave without warning him or giving him a plausible explanation.”
Maybe leaving wasn’t a wise decision, but I was entitled to do whatever I wanted. I was a free person. If I didn’t want to be here anymore, I was going to leave. It wasn’t my home anyway, and I didn’t want to owe Cedric anymore favors. I didn’t want to be treated like he’d treated me, either. My parents didn’t treat me like that. I wasn’t raised in a place where people would yell at me and make me feel like crap. Moreover, I wasn’t in favor of using violence to resolve my problems. Cedric had trashed Philippe’s house and he had tried to kill him. Philippe being a vampire wasn’t a plausible excuse for him to act like that. Cedric had no reason to hurt him or me. If he was going to act like that before we were mated, what would he do when he thought we were set for life, and I wanted something he didn’t agree with? The whole point of having a person to love was to share dreams and to be understood. I was feeling everything but that.
“He didn’t understand me before. Why would he understand my reasons to leave now?” I asked, opening the door and frowning at the weather outside. Illogical as it might be, it was snowing in the summer or maybe I was hallucinating.
“This can’t be good,” Camille muttered as she stretched out her hand to grab a flake of snow.
“Why is it snowing? Is this some twisted plan to keep me locked up here?”
