by Anna Santos
“We aren’t human.”
“I was born human. You’re half-human. Your mom was human. We are all God’s creations, aren’t we? With a soul, with a heart. Feelings are what make us better than the rest of Earth’s creatures.”
“Josephine, don’t try to act like my shrink. Get some rest, and I’ll call you when the others are ready to meet with us.” I grabbed her wrists and pushed her away. Her closeness wasn’t displeasing, but it wasn’t welcome, either. I needed to be alone. I didn’t need anyone to tell me how I should feel.
“I guess you…don’t feel comfortable sharing your feelings with me. We are practically strangers. You have no reason to open up your heart to me.”
My voice was stern when I said, “I don’t feel an urge to share anything now. I want to have a shower, get something to eat, and rest before the meeting. We have a busy night ahead of us.”
“I know. But…you should reconsider.”
“What?”
“The attack on the graveyard. We don’t know if he’s there. We just have a few confessions. They could be lying. You might start a war with the specters and the witches for no apparent reason. And what if that was the plan all along and this is all a trick?”
I let her words sink in as I watched her tuck her hair behind her ear. “I understand your fears. I do, Josephine. But I can’t stay still and not make any kind of move against the people who took my mate. I’d appear weak. This will be a warning to anyone else who wants to cross me and hurt what’s mine.”
“You should reconsider. We found the drug. We arrested the dealers and you killed the specters. You have your mate back.”
My heart hurt as pain took over my features. “She isn’t back. She’s in a coma. She’s sick. She…had her angel trapped inside. She was acting differently. She was…”
She completed my sentence for me. “Showing feelings for Philippe.”
I looked the other way, angry by the mere mention of his name.
“Had she told you before that she had feelings for him?”
“She might…have mentioned it.”
“And still, you’re putting your life at risk by being stubborn and not rejecting her?”
I glared at the vampire and balled my hands into fists. “She’s my only shot at love. I need her and her powers. She loves me, too. I can work this out once she wakes up. We’ll have a serious conversation. But for now, I need my angel’s powers to find out who’s behind all this.”
“Cedric, you are playing with fire.” Josephine’s gloomy eyes soothed my rage, but I wasn’t falling for her concern.
“I know perfectly well that you’re rooting for Philippe to win Aria’s heart. After all, he’s like a son to you. You want what’s best for him. But Aria’s life will be better if she stays with me. I can save her soul.”
“I’m not rooting for Philippe. I think Aria has to decide for herself. And I think you should stop lying to her and tell her that she has a choice.”
“Who told you that I’m lying to her?”
She folded her arms. “Aren’t you?”
“She needs to love me, not some coldhearted vampire who wanted her dead!”
“You need to love her. Do you love her or the idea of having a mate?”
She was so insistent that it was becoming annoying.
“I love her. She’s …brave and has a beautiful soul. She might be young and have a lot to learn about responsibility. She might be unprepared for this life, but I know she’s perfect to be my queen. I can teach her to be better.”
“You’re lost, aren’t you?” She moved closer and placed her hand on my shoulder. I felt a tingling sensation spread down my arm. Her red lips were hypnotizing. “You aren’t thinking straight. I don’t think you know what you want.”
“I don’t give a damn what you think, stupid vampire,” I growled, aggravated by what she thought she knew about me. She had no idea. I lost it and pushed her back, making her almost fall to the floor.
Jo recoiled when I reached out to grab her before she fell. Her hand flew to her chest and her lips parted to breathe. “Don’t ever do that to me again. I don’t deal well with violent behavior,” she said, hugging her arms around her waist.
I was mortified. “I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to hurt you.”
“But you did,” she stated in a trembling voice. “I don’t care if you are the Prince of Angels. If you speak to me like that again, I’ll never want to talk to you again.”
“I apologize,” I voiced, staring at the floor and wanting her to accept my excuses. “I’m tired and…worried about Aria. You’re right. I don’t know how to express my feelings to others. I was...hurt when Aria didn’t want me next to her. When she chose Philippe over me.”
“She’ll come around. I’m sure she will,” she said in a honeyed voice.
I raised my eyes to watch her pretty face. “Why do they always choose to go back to their original soulmates when they want them back?” It was an enigma to me. Jo had failed the trial, so she might have the answer to my question.
“I can’t fully explain it. But there’s something in us that misses them. Something that calls us to them. It’s a pull. Finding a soulmate is a powerful experience. The love is…overwhelming and makes us want to forgive and believe anything they say. Women are more vulnerable, I guess. I believed my former soulmate when he said that he wanted me back because he knew he had made a mistake, but all he wanted was to make me an angel to help him get to your kingdom and steal the sacred orb. He was evil and was corrupted by greed. He had an insane plan to open the gates of Hell. However, Philippe isn’t evil. Philippe loves Aria and wants what’s best for her. She must feel that deep inside her soul. She must feel his grief at being apart. Doesn’t she dream about him? Does she call his name when she’s asleep?”
“She had dreams, yes. I don’t know what she dreamed about.”
“Aria seems to be a lovely girl. I’m aware that she has a powerful angel in her. I understand why you don’t want to let her go. But, Cedric, they’re adorable together,” she claimed.
I sighed annoyance.
“It’s unfair for you because you have every right to be loved, but she will fail the trial if she has doubts about her feelings for you.”
“I’m aware of that, but I still have time,” I grumbled.
“Don’t die over your pride. You deserve so much more from life than being turned to rock,” she said, stepping forward and grabbing my hands in hers. “Do you understand?”
“I’m not so sure about that, Josephine.”
“Cedric…” Her voice trembled, and I felt the need to push her back again.
I didn’t like when people felt sorry for me. I didn’t want her pity.
She held my hands tighter. “Stop pushing people away. I’m not feeling sorry for you. I’m trying to make you see how things are.”
“You know nothing about how we are together. We love each other. Everything was fine until Philippe came into our lives.”
“If you love her, you need to be ready to let her go.”
“You’re only saying that because you want Philippe to be with her.”
“Don’t be a fool. I really don’t want you to die.”
“Why not?”
“Because you can be an idiot sometimes, but you think about what’s best for your people. They need you as their leader.”
“I’m not much of a leader if I’m not an angel, and I have a duty to my family line to leave descendants.”
She smiled tenderly. “Cedric, you won’t have a family if you’re turned into stone, will you?”
“I guess not.”
She became solemn. “Don’t let her have your death on her conscience. She wouldn’t survive for long. The guilt would consume her.”
“I don’t even know if she’s going to survive now.” I took comfort in the fact that someone was here with me and was concerned about me. “Why do you even care about me?”
“Why wouldn’t I care? You’re a
nice person. You’re a strong leader, and we are kind of friends, aren’t we?” She smiled.
I nodded with a faint smile. “I guess we are kind of friends. And I have to thank you for helping me tonight.”
She let go of my hands. “You’re welcome. Besides, I had nothing better to do with the last days of my life.”
“That’s a nice way to make me feel less guilty about wanting your help for a bit longer.” I ran my fingers through my hair.
“You should feel guilty. I could be having wild sex with some hot stranger in my bedroom. Instead, I’m here, helping you find some crazy lunatic who gets off on killing vampires and kidnapping angel girls.”
“Wild sex,” I mumbled with wide eyes, finding her choice of activity odd for the final days of her existence.
“What else would you want to do if you knew you had two more days to live?”
I wasn’t sure about what to say in reply. “I guess experiencing physical love with my mate wouldn’t be a bad choice. But a random stranger?”
She shrugged and looked around. She looked tired. “So, where’s Aria’s bedroom?”
“I’ll take you there.”
“No. Tell me where it is, and I’ll leave you alone.”
“I’ll show you,” I insisted, holding on to her hand and walking upstairs with her.
After leaving her there, I went to my own bedroom. I took off my clothes and hit the shower. I was tired and upset at the turn of events. I was glad that I’d saved Aria, but I was worried that I hadn’t done enough. She’d been drugged, she was in a coma, and I was trapped in a spiral of revenge to find the person who was responsible. They were targeting me. They were using my mate to hurt me and undermine my power. I wasn’t going to let them. They were going to have payback, and I was going to find them and stop them.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
PHILIPPE
I fell asleep with my head on Aria’s bed and my hand on hers. It was still day when I woke up; I could feel it in my bones. Thankfully, no one had opened the shades, and I hadn’t toasted to death. I had enthralled the nurses to keep them shut and wake me up if Aria’s state had changed. Not that they needed to. All my senses were focused on her heartbeat even when I was asleep. That was the reason I’d woken up—Aria’s hand had moved. Opening my eyes, I saw her, staring at me, awake.
“Aria,” I called to her softly, raising my head and holding on tighter to her hand. “I’m so glad you’re awake.” I smiled at her, trying to figure out why she was so quiet.
She looked around and then back at me. “Where’s Cedric?”
“He went home to change clothes,” I lied. I didn’t want her to get upset.
“Mom and Dad?”
“They must be landing in the U.S. by now. They were on the plane when you got sick. Do you want me to call and explain to them what happened to you?”
“No, I don’t want to upset them,” she mumbled, closing her eyes for a moment. She moved her hand away from mine.
“Are you feeling okay? Do you want me to call a nurse?”
“I need to talk to Cedric. Can you call him?”
“I can text him, telling him you’re awake.”
“Please do that.”
I grabbed my phone and did what she’d asked. I hoped he would come, even if he was in some meeting, planning some reckless attack on the specters and witches.
“Camille was here for a while. She had to go home, but she’ll come back,” I said after sending the text.
“She’s a good friend. I’d like to talk to her after I speak with Cedric.”
I nodded, confused by her monotonous tone of voice. “Do you remember what happened last night?”
“Where?”
“In the hospital.”
“I do.”
“Are you feeling better now?”
“I’m not sure. I’m feeling…tired and different, somehow.”
“Are you hungry? It’s been a while since you’ve eaten.”
“I’m not hungry. I’m just restless.”
“Why?”
“Where’s Cedric? Please tell him to come here,” she demanded again, looking around. “I want to see him.”
Suddenly, she began to shake and her eyes turned solidly white while the machines beeped relentlessly. I got up in a panic, focusing on her erratic heartbeat and heavy breathing. It was starting again. Before I could call for help, everything stopped. Aria opened her eyes and grabbed my hand tightly.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Talk to me,” she asked in a weak voice.
“What do you want me to talk about?” I sat down and noticed her steady heartbeat.
“What did you want to be when you were little?”
Her question caught me off guard. “A pirate,” I answered with a smile.
“I wasn’t expecting that answer,” she said, breaking into a smile. “Why?”
“I wanted to travel the world, see new things. I wanted to get away from here.”
“So why did you stay?”
“I only came back to Paris twenty years ago. I guess that the place where we were born carries a lot of weight in our lives. It feels like home here.”
“Don’t you want me to tell you what I wanted to be when I grew up?”
“That’s easy. You want to be an oncologist.”
“That wasn’t my first choice,” she said.
“Then what was your first choice?”
“You have to promise you won’t tell anyone,” she whispered so no one else could hear.
“I promise,” I whispered back with a smile.
“I love dragons. I always wanted one,” she blurted out.
I couldn’t help but to chuckle at her words. “I thought you were more of a unicorn kind of girl,” I teased.
“No! I wanted to be a dragon rider when I was younger. I used to read a lot of fantasy books about it.”
“You used to?”
“I grew up. I started to read more plausible stuff.”
Arching an eyebrow, I joked, “Like what? Romance novels?”
“No, of course not! Well, maybe one or two, but I started to read science news articles, philosophical books… Stuff like that.”
“That’s nice, too. But you can read about dragons even if you get older. I love Tolkien.” I didn’t share that with many people.
For a few moments, she gazed at the ceiling. She looked so sad that it was breaking my heart into little pieces.
“What’s wrong, Aria? Why are you acting so strange? Why are you rejecting your angel?”
She looked at me with wide eyes. “How do you know that?”
“I called a witch to check on you.”
“Is that why I’m sick?”
“I think so, yes. Tell me, why are you rejecting your angel?”
“You wouldn’t understand my reasons,” she whispered, almost inaudible.
“Try me.”
Her eyes shone with unshed tears. “They called me a monster.”
“Who?”
“The men who kidnapped me. They called me a monster, the destroyer of the world, the unmerciful judge. They said that I would kill entire families if I was allowed to survive. They needed to get rid of me.”
“That’s nonsense,” I said, upset by their accusations and the tears that were falling down her cheeks. “You’re the sweetest thing.”
“I don’t want to destroy worlds, people… I don’t want to kill.”
“Aria, you can’t believe what they told you. They were finding an excuse to kill you. How is that fair? Kill you and judge you even when you didn’t do anything they said you would?”
“But I could do that. I…could become different. I’m different. I’m not the same person I was when I arrived here.”
“You are.”
“I’m not,” she said, certainty tainting her voice and eyes. “You’re different, too.”
“How am I different?”
“When we first met, you were dark, empty, and col
d. You were…not you.”
“I lived for centuries. I’m a vampire. I had to change. I had to…kill and become cold.”
“Maybe, but if I let her take control, she’ll turn me into something I don’t want to be.”
“Then, just be you. Don’t let her take control.”
“It’s not that easy. She…thinks I’m weak and stupid. She… It’s different. I can’t explain. I don’t want to give up everything that makes me what I am to become an angel. Only because that can save me from Hell. Why would I want to accept a god who believes I can’t go to Heaven just because I’m incomplete? Why should I even decide something as permanent as whom I want to love for eternity in thirty days? Why is God so cruel?”
“I don’t know, Aria.” I moved closer, holding her hands and drowning in her brown, emotional eyes. “But, sweetie, I used to blame God for all my misery. I understand now that God has nothing to do with it. It’s people’s fault. God doesn’t have a twisted sense of humor or want to make us suffer. Other people make us suffer. They get satisfaction from spreading chaos and misery.”
“I don’t want Cedric to die,” she wept as new tears fell down her eyes.
“Why would he die?”
“It’s too much to handle. I want to go home and be human. I don’t want any of these responsibilities. I don’t want to destroy anything. I don’t want…to feel this.” She kept crying.
I didn’t know what to say to make her feel better.
“All I want is for you to be happy,” I assured, sweetly, cleaning her tears away with my thumbs.
“I can’t blame you for rejecting me. You were right. I’m not strong enough for this world of vampires and angels and scary ghosts and…”
“Hush, don’t say that. I had no right to judge you without even knowing you. I was stupid, and you almost died because of me.”
“Maybe dying wouldn’t be such a bad thing, after all.”
“Stop saying nonsense,” I raised my voice. Her depression was making me vulnerable and all I wanted was to hug her and take her out of there. Run. Run with her to somewhere where no one could hurt her, judge her, or expect anything from her. She was too young to deal with suicidal thoughts like these.