by Anna Santos
“We are mates, Aria. Our bond makes us feel like we can share anything. I feel like I can voice even my darkest secrets and my most painful memories to you. Spending time with you and being with you heals me. At the same time, I feel that I’m poisonous to you, that I don’t deserve you.”
“Last time you felt like that, you rejected me. So please don’t feel like that. I’m already having too many flashbacks of the party where we first met.”
I didn’t have time to tell her how sorry I was.
Aria leaned back and cupped my face. “I know that you regret it. I know. I’m not going to keep blaming you for rejecting me. I forgive you. I’m probably a fool for that. But what sort of soul-mate would I be if I saw you suffer and didn’t do anything to heal you or save you from your demons?”
“I have a lot of darkness inside of me and a lot of sins to account for.”
“That doesn’t make me love you any less. You are much more than that.”
“Does that mean that you accept me back?” I probed.
“Yes. We can be a couple, date, and stay together forever. But only if you are serious about letting me go back home and pursue my dreams.”
“Aria, all I want is for you to be happy. I’ll be with you no matter where you want to live or what you want to do with your life.”
“Philippe, will you love me even when I go back to being human and my hair is no longer red?”
Her doubts were adorable. “Of course, I will. You don’t need to feel insecure about yourself. I love you, pixie angel.”
She smiled, leaning her forehead against mine.
I felt happier than ever before. “We should get back to the party and have fun. What do you say?”
“Not yet,” she whispered, caressing my neck with the tips of her fingers. “Not just yet.” Closing her eyes, she searched for my lips. “The party can wait a bit longer.” She scattered small kisses on my lips and cheeks.
I let her have her way, replying to her soft lips and caressing her face with all the care in the world.
Josephine was right. Having a mate was the best thing in the world. I had never felt so understood and complete in my whole existence. Love before Aria wasn’t love. It may have been an obsession, infatuation, but it wasn’t love.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
JOSEPHINE
The night had fallen, displaying the full moon in all its glory. The bright silver circle in the sky was enticing and fascinating, whispering tales of love, myths of sacred identities, and melodies of sweet dismay and sorrow for brokenhearted lovers or recent ones.
For Josephine, the full moon represented a decision that she had to make. She had been sure for many centuries about what she had to do. That night, she was tormented by the first glimpse of regret and fear. Yet, she couldn’t let her whims cloud the decisions she had made. She wouldn’t let her body succumb to the desire and make her change her mind about what she had to do at dawn.
The chilly breeze brushed her skin, sending goose bumps along her body and making her hair float back and mingle with silver threads of rays and floral perfume. She had dressed herself for the second time that night. The first time, it didn’t last long because Cedric undid her hair and undressed her with hunger and need. They didn’t seem to get enough of each other. Thus, the delay in getting to the party that was already blooming outside.
From the balcony, Josephine could hear people laughing and the music swirling in waves down the cliffs surrounding the palace. She was aware that their getaway was on a decreasing deadline, and they would be swallowed by the crowd downstairs. The fantasy was over, and it was time to get back to reality.
“What are you doing? You shouldn’t be outside,” Cedric said, appearing behind her. He put his hands on her arms and spoke sweetly in her ear.
Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the bubbling sensation in her stomach and the short happiness that lit her face with a smile.
“It’s not like I can catch a cold,” she said, moving her neck to let his lips leave a trail of kisses behind. “People are waiting for you,” she reminded him before he would convince her that they could delay their arrival to the party for a bit longer.
The prince was a rather attentive lover. Her rationality jumped in when his hands dropped to her waist and embraced her, nudging her to turn around.
Jo opened her eyes and grabbed his hands, preventing him from moving. “Cedric, we really need to go downstairs.”
“And I wish we didn’t need to,” he breathed, nibbling on her shoulder.
Gasping, she let go of his hands, turned around inside his hug, and put her arms around his neck. He wasn’t much taller than her, just the perfect height for her to be close enough to kiss him and be wrapped around his body. Her defenses had the nasty habit of dropping when she was in his arms, cuddling, talking, or making love. Her stomach hurt and her heart ran faster with the memory of the two of them in bed.
Cedric had many layers. He could be possessive and vulnerable, all at the same time. He could be demanding and sweet. He could seem cold, but he was, in fact, a burning sun, eager to consume her with passion and melt the walls she had built throughout the centuries to keep love away. Despite that perfection of multiple personalities, shared souls, and understanding of each other’s needs and fears, they were not meant to be. They could fool themselves, pretending that the time wasn’t running out, but the cruel fact was that Josephine wasn’t willing to love and suffer again. She had decided her own fate. She was going to disappear by dawn.
“Josephine,” he called huskily, close to her lips. “It’s not my party. No one will miss us.”
“I’m sure everybody is missing you already. It’s not wise of you to offend the English Regents by not showing up for their daughter’s eighteenth birthday party.”
Cedric looked deep into her eyes. She felt like he was able to read her mind. He was acting in a peculiar way, making excuses to not leave his bedroom. He had tried to make her promise that she wasn’t going to perform the ritual. When that didn’t work, he attempted to convince her to give up as his mouth made her experience the most delicious pleasure. At first, it had been amusing and sweet until she got mad at him and tried to leave, just to be assaulted with more kisses and promises that he wouldn’t talk about that anymore. Yet she knew that he hadn’t forgotten about it. She could sense it and read it in his eyes.
“We’ve already had too much fun for a day. Let’s save some for later,” she proposed with a smile, so he would lose his begging puppy dog eyes.
He smirked. “We could bail after I greet everybody. They won’t miss us.”
“We can dance together,” she said in a soft voice. “We could dance and talk a bit more. Philippe and Aria must be at the party, and you wanted to speak with her, remember?”
“And you wish to speak to Philippe, even if…”
“He’s my son, my best friend,” Josephine cut him off before he said something that she wouldn’t like. It wasn’t the first time that Cedric was jealous of Philippe.
“I’m pretty sure you used to be lovers. You were probably lovers before…us.”
Josephine couldn’t help but glare at him. “We are not a couple Cedric. It has been more than one hundred years since I screwed with Philippe. Yes, we were lovers. Yes, we lusted and fucked a lot,” she said, using foul language on purpose. “It was an open relationship. We were both suffering because of other people, and we found comfort in each other’s arms. A lot like us,” she said with a straight face and cold eyes.
“Nothing like us,” he disagreed.
“You are in love with Aria, and you slept with me. What’s the difference?”
“I have feelings for you, and you have them for me.”
Jo stepped back. “I was your rebound sex partner. Don’t fantasize about a future for us. Please, don’t do that. Don’t make me regret spending these amazing hours with you.”
“I know why you do that,” Cedric said with hurt reflected in the depths of his blue eyes.<
br />
“Do what?” she asked, her good mood fading away.
“Why you try to push me away and pretend that what we have isn’t special. I get it, you are afraid. I’m afraid, too. But I’m not going to leave you, Jo. I promise, I won’t.”
“Cedric.” Her voice trembled as her emotions got the best of her. “Don’t do this to me. Don’t pretend that we can have a future when you know that we can’t. I’m not naïve to believe that, and I’m not looking for a clingy lover who had just had his first sexual experience and thinks that I’m the love of his life. Please, we are both adults. We both know that you’ll find a suitable bride and have cute baby angels with her. Or you’ll beg and crawl for Aria to come back to you. Give up on your wings if you truly love her and allow her to be happy as a human.”
“She chose Philippe,” he said grumpily.
Jo knew she had annoyed him with her insensitive words.
“Only because you weren’t willing to let her be herself. She wanted to be human again. Have you even considered falling for her?”
“No,” he said promptly. “I have a lot of people depending on me. Why would I fall and become a human?”
“For love, Cedric!” Her voice was urgent, impatient, and hurt.
It was obvious that Cedric had a lot to learn about love. His proclamations were empty. Love was more than a word, an infatuation, and desire. Love was sacrifice and commitment.
“Aria didn’t take my feelings seriously. She toyed with them and fell for a vampire. The same vampire you love so much and defend so fiercely. I guess I’m doomed to have all the women I’m interested in to be on Philippe’s side.”
His words hurt her. He couldn’t understand the bond between a vampire and their creator. He couldn’t understand her bond with Philippe. It may have started as something sexual, playful, but it turned out to be something else. Philippe was like the son she never had. He was the person who listened to her secrets, fears, and feelings and didn’t judge her.
“I enjoyed sleeping with you. I even enjoy talking to you, but you must understand that Philippe will always be my best friend. The type of relationship I have with him is built on centuries of support and friendship. What we have is completely different. What you and I had was like a falling star. It explodes once it hits the atmosphere, it’s bright and beautiful, but it fades away.”
His eyes momentarily lost their shine. She noticed his jaw clenching and his eyes turning dark blue. She didn’t want to be so cruel, but it was better to kill his illusions early rather than wait until they both suffered from her departure. More than she was already suffering.
“As much as I find your analogy interesting, I do realize that you are trying to be cruel on purpose. Even when your mouth says those evil things, so I would get mad at you, the thing is, Josephine,” he said, lowering his lips over hers, “your necessity to push me away shows how much you care for me and how much we mean to each other. You can tell me that it was just sex, but I know that it was something more. I enjoyed it, it was the best thing ever. You’re the sexiest thing walking this earth, and I can’t seem to want to stay away from you. Even when you treat me badly, I know that if I insist and kiss you, you’ll cave in, and soon enough we’ll be in bed with you screaming my name while I make love to you. So, stop pretending that I don’t mean anything to you. Lower your defenses and let me tell you about how you make me feel.”
“But Cedric,” she began in a trembling voice, “we can’t be together.”
“The only reason I didn’t fight for Aria was because I was falling for you. Why would I stay with a child who can’t make up her mind about her feelings for me when I can have you?”
“I do not have feelings for you,” she articulated, trying to give meaning to ever single word.
“Again, honey, you need to work on your poker face. You’ve been flirting with me from the start. At first, I didn’t pay much attention. After all, I was in a relationship with my potential soul-mate. Yet we click and not only in bed. There’s a form of understanding without words between us. You don’t need to tell me that you have feelings for me, I can tell. I can feel it. I know you are scared. I’m scared, too. Still, you need to let me try and find a way. William is researching as we speak. You can wait a bit longer,” the prince begged her.
“Tonight is the full moon.”
His hands cupped her face. “There will be plenty of other full moons.”
“Cedric,” she said in a trembling voice, unsure how to make him see that it was useless.
“We still have time.” He silenced her with a kiss. “Now, shall we attend the party before I can’t control myself and need to…”
“Yes, let’s go to the party.”
If they stayed any longer in his bedroom, Josephine was afraid that Cedric could convince her. He was good at persuasion. It didn’t help that the sexual attraction between them was enough to make her think twice about completing the ritual that night and not give in to her sexual urges.
The party was crowded and the music was loud. Scattered along the huge ballroom, people ate, smiled, danced, and talked.
Before Cedric and Josephine could mingle with the guests, they were stopped by Camille and Jacob.
Josephine felt curious eyes aimed at them. In some, she saw shock and in others she sensed disdain. A few were simply curious, trying to figure out who she was and what she was doing there. The main questions must have been: Why was the Prince of Gargoyles and Angels accompanied by a vampire woman? Why was his highness’ hand around a vampire’s waist in a clear demonstration of affection and possessiveness?
Josephine heard Camille’s complaints about the incompetence of the servants and the kitchen staff. She also heard Jacob’s advice to Cedric to look for Princess Charlotte and wish her a happy birthday and greet the British Regents.
This wasn’t her world. Despite the lust and attraction between them, Josephine knew that she had no place here. As when she was human, she could only be the mistress because her family had fallen into disgrace. She could never be the Duke’s bride or the Prince’s wife. At this party, she was the vampire who was playing girlfriend with their Royal Prince. Yet everybody knew that she was just a whore who had slept with him, not dating or queen material.
Cedric could pretend all he wanted, but they wouldn’t work. They could never be together. Everybody hated her because she was a vampire who was with the prince. No one cared about her feelings. Their happiness wasn’t of interest if their prince couldn’t be crowned and deliver an heir with a suitable angel companion.
She was so caught up in her conjured thoughts that she didn’t even realize when Cedric had walked her to the dance floor and started to move with her. She only came out of her nightmare when they were dancing, and he stole her from her distraction with his husky voice, asking her if she was okay. Lying was her only option. She pretended that everything was fine, so he could keep the dreamy smile on his lips and the intense shine in his eyes.
The clock hadn’t struck midnight yet and her Cinderella dress was still on. Even if she lost one shoe, by the light of day, all that would remain of her was going to be her statue. The pain would be gone and her prince would move on to find his perfect love.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
ARIA
Dancing with Philippe felt like floating on the clouds, surrounded by the blissful silence of happiness. I could barely listen to the song that was playing. My feet were magically moving, effortlessly coordinated as if I had done this all my life. We danced like there was no gravity restraining us. With the way Philippe looked at me, I felt precious and loved. Joy invaded every pore of my skin and pulsated through every cell in my body.
Philippe’s face was hovering above mine and his eyes were drowned in mine. I wasn’t feeling shy or uncomfortable. All I felt was blessed and whole. We didn’t need words to understand each other. Not that there was much to understand in that moment. He had wanted to dance. I complied and kept dancing and laughing while we whirled aro
und the dance floor, ignoring the prying eyes.
Philippe’s lips teased my skin, leaving tingling sensations on it. My lips craved for his. He only touched me briefly, provoking me with small kisses on my cheek, under my left ear, and forehead. Every time he made me whirl to the pace of the music, held me by my waist, or pulled me near, my skin exploded with the contact of his hands on my body. I looked at him, deeply, passionately, scrutinizing the very fabric of his existence as I felt whole.
“I feel like a fool,” he mumbled, out of breath.
“Why?”
“Because all I want to tell you, each and every second, is how much I love you. I should be more creative than that. I should be more poetic. I feel like an idiot for being so tacky about this.”
I hugged him and leaned my face against his chest. Holding him tight, my heart beat so fast that I thought it was going to explode.
“Then we are both tacky, and I’m not sorry about that,” I whispered.
Philippe placed his hand on the back of my neck, sending sparkling shivers down my spine. I sighed with pleasure, smiling against the fabric of his jacket.
“I feel like I’m going to explode like a firecracker every time our skin touches,” I confessed.
“You feel hot. I mean, when I touch you, and you are next to me, your temperature is abnormally higher than that of a human. Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine. I’m a fire angel. We are hotter than the rest of them.”
“You are definitely hotter than the rest,” he teased, lifting my face and leaning down to kiss my lips.
I made a sound of protest when he pulled back. My lips wanted more. Every kiss that he gave me, that we shared, didn’t seem enough to satisfy my hunger for him. He was a great kisser. He didn’t rush at all and always left me begging for more.
