My Life From Hell

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My Life From Hell Page 21

by Tellulah Darling


  Gross. I averted my eyes.

  Festos’ gaze drifted over the route Kai had taken out of the room, as if he expected to see him standing there, and feeding me info.

  “Kai didn’t say a word.”

  “Kai?!”

  “Kyrillos. I said Kyrillos.”

  Festos stared at me, obviously suspicious, and leaning heavily on his cane. “Who are you? You’re not Persephone, so don’t even bother pushing that lie.” He ran the tip of the cane in a sweeping motion up my body. “You got the outside right. But the rest? Way off base.”

  I thrilled at the fact that he’d had realized even that much, except it made me wonder whether his hatred for Persephone was so strong that he noted any little deviation in her personality. Which made me wonder about him and me, which led me to shutting down that train of thought. “Yeah,” I said, “I’m vastly improved. Which is why in reality you and I are friends, I’m not stuck in this stupid body, and you’re dating Prometheus.”

  “Doubtful,” he muttered.

  “You are so friends with me.”

  He planted his hands on his hips. “How do you know that’s what I was referring to?”

  I just stared at him.

  “Whatever. Besides, there is no reality in which I’m dating Prometheus.”

  “Okay, that’s true.”

  He looked crestfallen.

  I relented, resting my arm along the statue’s knee. “His name is Theo. He’s lost his Titan self. He loves you. This?” I waved a hand around the room, “Is all just an enchantment. Long story.”

  “Summarize.” His tone brooked no argument.

  I summarized.

  He opened his mouth, then shut it again. Then spoke. “I have no idea what part of that I believe the least.”

  I tapped a finger against the statue, impatiently. I needed Fee on the same page here. “Just believe that I love that stupid Titan, too. I have a way to break him out but for this enchantment to end, everyone needs to see the truth of the situation. Which is where you come in. Have you been invited to the ball?”

  His lips thinned. “As help in case my party favor malfunctions. As if it would.”

  “Boo hoo. Get over it. Can the help bring a helper? Like Aletheia, the Spirit of Truth?”

  “Truth is not really welcome in the Underworld.”

  “But you could smuggle her in?” I smiled sweetly at him. “I know how clever you are.”

  He smiled back with twice the sugar factor. “Yes, I am.” Then he dropped it. “So stuff the kiss up.”

  I made a “get on with it” gesture with one hand. “And?”

  “Theoretically. Yes. I could smuggle her in. If so inclined. Which I am not yet.”

  “Please.” I brought my hands together in time honored begging formation. “The fate of humanity depends on Aletheia revealing the enchantment.”

  “Eh.” He shrugged, indifferent.

  “The fate of you ever getting to have hot kisses with the guy you love does, too.”

  His eyes narrowed. “While that second part is all fine and good, you got Prometheus thrown into Tartarus.”

  My face fell.

  He smirked. “Yeah. Didn’t realize I knew that part, did you? Tell me why would I take any of what you’re saying on faith alone?”

  My shoulders slumped. I didn’t have proof. That was the problem. I rubbed nervously at my neck, and my fingers felt the cool silver of my chain. The ring!

  I pulled it out from under my shirt and showed it to him. “You made me this.”

  Festos peered at it, then held out his hand. I hesitated, reluctant to part with it. “Hurry up,” Festos hissed, at the sound of stomping on the far side of the room.

  I yanked the chain over my head. Placed it and the ring in his open palm. Then I turned to check out the commotion.

  Some other smaller giant—not one of the three busy guarding Prometheus, but a thirty footer nonetheless—clomped slowly across the room, holding a massive wrought-iron chandelier. The thing must have weighed a ton, with its dozens of metal scrolls, hundreds of candle cups, and thousands of glittering crystal teardrops.

  But that wasn’t what was slowing him down. The chandelier blocked his view and he was trying not to squash the now-scattering creatures in the hall. Each painful step was a teetering accomplishment.

  Four minions floated behind him, with another flying by his head. Presumably to guide the giant to where the chandelier belonged.

  I turned back to Festos who was busy examining the ring.

  He tested its weight. He held it up close to his eye. He licked it. Then, he returned it to me. “It’s my work. But I don’t understand how.”

  “Doesn’t matter. Just do me the one favor. No, two.”

  “Don’t push it.”

  “Get Aletheia here in time for the ball. If I’m wrong, well, you can do your worst.”

  He thought it over for a moment, keeping one eye on the quickly approaching work force. Luckily, the throne room was as big as a football field, so even the giant took a bit of time crossing it. “I’ll do my best. What’s the second thing?”

  “How do I break Prometheus out of the chain you made, and is it supposed to be on fire?”

  “Fire?” he screeched.

  “Shh!” I glanced nervously around. The giant was making so much noise with the chandelier that no one paid Festos any attention.

  “Kyrillos is dead,” he muttered.

  “He did that?” Kai and I would be having words when this was over.

  “It’s overkill,” Festos snarled. “The chain is strong, and painful enough without adding fire. That was just to hurt Prometheus.” Fee’s eyes glazed red.

  “Forget Kyrillos,” I said hurriedly, not wanting Festos to erupt. “Focus on Prometheus. What do I do?”

  “Nothing.” I started to protest but Festos shook his head at me. “I do it.” His expression softened, and he stared into the distance. “I can whip up what I need, but barely on this timeline, and not until I finish up with that.” He threw an annoyed look toward the chandelier before returning his attention to me. “Meet me under the throne room at 2AM Thursday morning.”

  “Thank you,” I sighed. I turned to leave, but froze as he gripped my arm, his fingers digging into my skin.

  “But if you’re wrong and you’ve made me hope for the impossible?” He leaned close to my ear. “Not even the gods will be able to help you.”

  I shivered at the malice in his voice.

  Then, he released me and strode off toward the giant, hollering directions.

  I rubbed my stinging arm, and took a deep breath. Then let it out hard as I realized what I’d agreed to. Meeting Festos under the throne room in the early hours before the equinox. Site and rough time frame of Persephone’s murder.

  Way to go, clever girl.

  Eighteen

  Five minutes later I was still kind of paralyzed, with worry. I tried to get Festos’ attention, but he blatantly ignored me. He was testing jets of fire and lava from each individual candle cup on the chandelier. That was one way to light up a room.

  I’m sure the result would be spectacular, but I’d leave my close up oohing and ahhing for the night of the ball. Besides, the one time I did manage to make eye contact with him, Festos tossed me a look that promised burns from the dancing plumes of flame if I came any closer.

  Since I had zero desire to take him up on that experience, I kept my distance. Besides, there was no need to panic, right? I mean, Demeter and I had left on perfectly good terms. She’d kissed me.

  Hmmm. Mafioso kissed people before killing them, too, didn’t they? My pulse spiked. I brightened a little when I figured that, even if she did come to whack me she might have second thoughts doing it in front of a room full of witnesses. At the very least, I’d be with Festos, Prometheus, Aletheia, and possibly Oizys. Although it wasn’t like Demeter had to worry about getting arrested so what did witnesses matter?

  Jaw set, I scanned the room, looking at all the
faces. Fact was, I didn’t have a single friend here. I watched Festos as, with a flick of his hand, he made the chandelier come alive with fire. Then, he pointedly turned his back on me. Again.

  I saw Kyrillos, surrounded by fawning suck ups, while minions hovered protectively nearby. He spared me one hard look before charming his posse with a grin.

  Not even my friends were my friends here.

  The whole situation felt so unreal.

  Dazedly, I wandered farther into the room. I felt one second out of synch with everyone else. The chatter around me sounded like a buzz, coming through a long tunnel. Colors seemed teeth-jarringly bright. Even walking felt too languid. Like I was streaming through a river of molasses.

  I couldn’t breathe. I pressed a hand to my side, taking in gulping breaths of air, desperate to get my lungs to expand.

  “Did you get his help?” Oizys asked. Suddenly in my way.

  My chest loosened at the sight of her, and I took a much needed breath. “Yes. And you don’t need to sound so doubtful.”

  She shrugged. “You dance in flowers. That doesn’t scream ‘competent’.”

  “Give me a freaking break. I’m Goddess of Spring. I celebrate occasionally in a meadow. It’s not like I prance around with floral arrangements. Nor do I just get bored with people and forget about them. Guy in chains suffering? Who’s that?” I held myself stiffly, chin up, and added, “For your information, Hephaestus is coming to free Prometheus personally.”

  She pursed her lips, displeased.

  “Now what?”

  “Prometheus isn’t going to be happy.”

  Maybe for five minutes. Until Aletheia revealed the truth. At which point Theo would probably even hug me for bringing Fee to him, given how they’d left things.

  My last hug?

  Oizys took a step back, eyes huge.

  Which made no sense until I realized that, in thinking about Theo and what lay ahead for us, I’d worn a dark enough look to bother her.

  I smiled, thinly. Good.

  Hurt flashed across her face.

  And my stomach sank. I balled my fists. I was not going to apologize. She got to be as crabby as she wanted to me.

  Guilt.

  She didn’t even like me.

  More guilt.

  I sighed. “I have a lot on my mind. Look, there’s still stuff we need to take care of before the ball. Like the nectar, and getting us both a costume.”

  “I want a floral arrangement.” Her voice was even. “For the costume.”

  “You’re going to milk this, aren’t you?” I was resigned. But not really annoyed.

  “Yes.” She headed off in typical stomping stride.

  “Okay then. Just checking.” I trotted after her.

  Oizys led me me through winding hallways that got narrower and narrower, until the two of us stood squeezed together like sardines in a stone can in front of a simple wooden door.

  “Use your light to open it,” she said. “We need to get into Hades’ cellar and liberate some nectar. The good stuff.”

  She probably didn’t mean for me to blast the thing off its hinges, but I was not in a subtle frame of mind. The door blew back into the room, arcing through the air to take out an entire rack of glass jugs before it smacked against the back wall hard enough to make my teeth rattle.

  We stood there staring at the carnage of broken glass and pale peachy liquid streaming onto the floor. Slowly and deliberately, Oizys looked from the mess, to me, to the mess.

  “Whoops.” I stepped inside, and carefully picked my way to an intact rack. I scanned the jugs of nectar. Each one contained several of gallons of booze, sealed with a metal cap. A date, probably of bottling, was written across each jug on a neatly scripted label. “Moonshine of the gods,” I said.

  Over my shoulder, Oizys squatted on her heels, examining some labels on the bottom row. She planted her feet firmly on the ground, grabbed a jug and slid it off the rack. “This ought to do the trick.” She stood up.

  “A fine vintage is it?” I asked.

  “Fine is a relative term.” Carefully, she uncapped it for me to take a whiff.

  I leaned in, sniffed, and recoiled, wiping my eyes. “What is that? 400 proof?”

  “At least. Drink any of this blend and you’ll go blind. But the Hekatonkheires love the stuff.” Oizys cradled the brew in her arms and led me out.

  My sandals left sticky footprints as we walked away. “Where to now?” I asked.

  “We need to put this away for safekeeping. Rule number one in the Underworld? Never keep incriminating evidence in your room.” Her hands full with the jug, Oizys elbowed me away from a corridor full of voices.

  We waited, tense, as they came closer. Thanatos, the creepy death baby, was directing one of the Infernorators.

  Oizys held herself stiffly. She glanced back, searching for a hiding place but it was all wide stone corridor, devoid of any convenient doors.

  I held my breath, sliding behind Oizys as if she could shield me from discovery. But at the last second, the voices faded off again.

  We waited a moment longer, totally still. Then I peeked around the corner. Thanatos and the minion must have gone into the hallway that branched off the one we needed.

  We scurried around the corner, and stopped at a thick stone door with a brass handle. I pushed down on the latch, shouldered the door open, and stepped into the last rays of evening sun. It was still weird to see sunsets that pretty much consisted of black streaking the sky in bigger and bigger swatches until all the daytime color was gone. But I had to say, they kind of grew on me.

  The air held the last vestiges of heat, with just a slight nip. Hopefully, we wouldn’t be out here too long, because the flimsy dress I wore did nothing for warmth.

  Oizys led us into an overgrown garden. It was mostly thorny vines and weeds, all tangled together, with a narrow path in the middle. She crept to the far end, at which point she stepped off the path and through a gap in a scruffy hedge.

  I followed, and found myself in a tiny clearing.

  She set the jug down and arched her back, stretching. “Now we doctor it, so the giants have a nice long nap.”

  I looked around. “You going to use some plant to make a sleeping potion?”

  “Yes. The bulb of the poppy, plucked by moonlight as its petals close. Ground by the stone of the dragon and set into the waters of the Styx.” She unscrewed the cap.

  “Really?”

  “No.” She pulled a small bottle of of white powder from the pocket of her pants. “Sleeping pills. Pre-crushed.” She uncapped the bottle, and dumped the powder into the nectar.

  I watched it dissolve. “You just carry that around, do you?”

  She smiled, enigmatic. “I carry all kinds of interesting things around. Hope that you never find out what.”

  This chick was worse than Hannah. That was worrisome.

  At the thought of Hannah, my shoulders sagged. There was nothing more I wanted in that moment than to fling myself down on my bestie’s bed and talk about the inanities of our day. Make our stupid jokes and bitch about homework and be living the most staggeringly normal Sophie existence imaginable.

  I ached with missing her. But I couldn’t deny that I was still upset. What was so massively infuriating was that, as long as I was stuck here, there was no way we could even try and resolve our issues.

  More than ready to be done with this stupid enchantment now. I blew a lock of hair out of my face. Reliving the past was pointless, especially when there was so much on the line in my future. Trouble was, before I could solve any of those problems, I had to extricate myself from this one.

  Oizys capped the nectar and brushed her hands on her pants. “We’re done. This is safe here until the ball.” She pushed past me. “I need to eat.”

  Since the throne room was being decorated for the ball, dinner was waiting in the breakfast room. I was expecting Greek, Greek, and a side of Greek on the menu. Or some more vaguely identifiable roasted meats. B
ut I guess Hades liked to mix things up, because it turned out that Tuesdays meant Chinese food.

  Spicy green beans, chicken with cashews, ginger beef, green onion pancakes, chow mein—I’m not ashamed to say that I loaded up two plates. Feeding a body this size required serious amounts of food. And everyone was already judging me anyway.

  Balancing one plate in each hand, I looked around for somewhere to sit. Oizys had gotten her food and was busy ignoring me. Even if there had been space beside her, I wouldn’t have taken it. Sadly, there were no empty tables either. This was a billion times worse than any high school cafeteria nightmare. Sitting next to the wrong being didn’t mean plain old verbal humiliation. They weren’t just going to glare at me, or suddenly spread way out to make sure I couldn’t slide in next to them.

  These beings could kill me without taking their eyes from their plates. My only comfort was that, as far as I knew, Kai’s edict was still in place. No harm could come to Persephone.

  Suddenly, keeping up appearances seemed a very good idea.

  I scanned the room for my darling boyfriend, ignoring the pain in my wrists from holding the plates. Maybe two trips would have made more sense.

  Bingo. Kai was sitting with Hades in a semi-private alcove. Hades wore a red satin bathrobe, straight out of the Hugh Hefner collection. That made sense given the nymphs he surrounded himself with.

  Thinking of Hades that way, was kind of amusing. But what wasn’t as funny was how chatty Kai seemed to be with his father. They sat close together in a plush, burgundy, velvet banquette, talking insistently.

  Time to find out what that was all about.

  I made my way over to them and dumped my plates on the table. Hades barely spared me a glance. “When you decide to eat, you just go for it, don’t you?”

  Kai most definitely looked at me. Especially after I slid my arm around his waist and slipped in close to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

  “Appearances,” I whispered, seeing the curiosity on his face.

  He scanned the room. “Taking your chance with the devil you know?”

  I fluttered my lashes. “Something like that.” Then, I raised my voice so Hades could hear me. “Don’t let me interrupt your conversation.”

 

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