by Max Henry
“Go. Get out, Elena, before I say something I’m gonna regret.”
Breathing is hard, the sun too bright as I walk out into the warming day. The snow has melted some, and is wet and slushy underfoot as I head toward the gate. The prospect slides the steel rails open enough for me to walk through and tips an imaginary hat at me as I go by.
I lay on the best smile I can for the unsuspecting fool and walk out to my car, leaving what’s left of my ability to feel behind with the man I thought deserved it all. Yes, I did this, but we both knew where causing trouble between Carlos and the Fallen Aces would lead. We were never tipped to win. The odds were always against us.
Anger fills my limbs as I buckle Dante into his car seat. Anger at being cheated of a life of simplicity from the start. Anger at having to be born into a family that had ties to the drug trade, at being so desperate to make life better for my mother who’d suffered enough that I walked into a trap laid out by a heartless predator. Anger at the fucking universe for making the man I love a part of the world I want out of so badly, and at having to give it all up to ensure that there’s one person who gets a shot at a real life out of all of this.
“You better grow up and change the world, little guy,” I mutter as I stroke Dante’s head before fitting his little woolen hat over. “For the better. Make this all worth it.”
