After all, since that tragic, fiery Christmas Eve when he was twelve years old, he had lived in one sort of hell or another, day and night, night and day, without relief.
The outside door opened at the front end of the Travelmaster, and the trailer rocked as it took in its other lodger, and the door closed with a bang.
Y'm back here!" Conrad called, not bothering to get up from the bed.
There was no answer, but he knew who was there.
"You left the bathroom a mess when you cleaned up," Conrad shouted.
Heavy footsteps headed toward him.
The following Sunday, a man named David Clippert and a dog named Moose were hiking in the spring-fresh Coal County hills, two miles from the fairgrounds.
Shortly before four o'clock, as they were crossing a grassy hill, Moose, gamboling ahead of his master, came across something in a small patch of brush that he found unusually interesting. He raced around in a circle, staying in the grass, not entering the brush, but fascinated by whatever he had spotted in there. He barked several times, stopped to sniffsomething, then dashed in a circle again and loudly announced his discovery.
From twenty yards behind the dog, David couldn't see what all the fuss was about. He had a pretty good idea, though. Most likely it was a flurry of butterflies flitting back and forth through the weeds. Or perhaps a tiny lizard that had frozen on a leaf but had failed to evade Moose's sharp eyes.
At most it was a field mouse. Moose wouldn't stay close to anything larger than that. He was a big, silken-coated Irish setter, strong and friendly and good of heart, but he was a coward. If he had come upon a snake, a fox, or even a rabbit, he would have vamoosed with his tail between his legs.
AB David drew nearer the waist-high brush-- mostly milkweed and brambles-Moose slunk off, whining softly.
"What is it, boy?"
The dog took up a position fifteen feet away from his find, looked beseechingly at his master, and whimpered.
Strange behavior, David thought, frowning.
It wasn't like Moose to be frightened off by a butterfly or a lizard.
Once the big mutt zeroed in on prey like that, he was a formidable adversary, absolutely ferocious, indomitable.
A few seconds later, when David reached the brush and saw what had drawn the dog's attention, he stopped as if he had walked into a brick wall.
"Oh, Jesus."
A great river of arctic air must have changed course in the sky, for the warm May afternoon was suddenly cold, blood-freezing cold.
. Two dead bodies, a man and a woman, were sprawled in the brush, supported in a partially upright position by the interweaving blackberry vines. Both corpses were facing up, arms spread wide, almost as if they had been crucified on those thorny branches. The man had been disemboweled.
David shuddered, but he didn't turn away from that gruesome sight. In the late 1960s he had served two tours of duty as a battlefield medic in Vietnam before he was wounded and sent home: he had seen gut wounds of all kinds, bellies ripped open by bullets, by bayonets, and by the shrapnel from antipersonnel mines. He was not queamish.
But when he took a closer look at the woman, when he saw what had been done to her, he cried out involuntarily, quickly turned away from her, stumbled a few steps into the grass, dropped to his knees, and was violently, wrackingly sick.
n q :' THE DIvE WAS the teenage hangout in Royal City. It was on Main Street, four blocks from the high school. There wasn't anything special about it, so far as Amy could see. A soda fountain. A shortorder grill. Ten tables with oilcloth draped over them. Eight shiny, red leatherette booths. Half a dozen pinball machines in an alcove in the back. A jukebox. That was it.
Nothing fancy. Amy figured there had to be a million places just like it spread all over the country. She knew of four others right here in little old Royal City. But for some mysterious reason, perhaps herd instinct, perhaps because the name of the establishment sounded like the kind of sleazy dump their parents would disapprove of, Royal City's teenagers congregated at The Dive in greater numbers than they did anywhere else in town.
Amy had been a waitress at The Dive for the past two summers, and she was going to work there full-time again starting the first of June, until the junior college opened in September. She also pulled a few hours of hash-slinging during the school year, around the holidays and on most weekends. She took a small allowance out of her earnings, hardly enough for pocket money, and the rest went into her savings account for college.
On Sunday, the day following the senior prom, Amy worked from noon until six.
The Dive was exceptionally busy. By four o'clock she was worn out. By five o'clock she was amazed that she could still stand. As the shift-change neared, she caught herself glancing at the clock every few minutes, willing the hands to move faster, faster.
She wondered if her uncharacteristic lack of energy could be explained by her pregnancy. Probably. Some of her strength was being diverted to the baby. Even this early on, it was bound to have its effect on her. Wasn't it?
Dwelling on her pregnancy depressed her. Depressed, she found the time crawling by even slower than before.
A few minutes before six, Liz Duncan came into The Dive. She looked smashing.
She was wearing skin-tight French jeans and a mauve and blue sweater that appeared as if it had been knitted on her. She was a pretty blonde with an extremely cute figure. Amy saw boys looking up from all over the room as Liz walked through the door.
Liz was alone, currently between boyfriends.
She was always between boyfriends but never for long, she went through guys the way Amy went through a box of Kleenex. Yesterday evening Liz had gone to the prom with a one-night stand. It seemed to Amy that every relationship Liz had with a boy was a one-night stand, even if it went on for as long as a month or two, Liz never desired anything lasting. Unlike other high school girls, she was repelled by the thought of exchanging rings and going steady with just one guy. She liked variety, and she seemed to thrive on impermanence. She was the Bad Girl of the senior class, and some of her exploits were legendary among her peers. She didn't give a damn what anyone thought of her.
Amy was drawing two frosted mugs of root beer from the soda fountain when Liz breezed up to the counter and said, Hey, kid, how's it going?" "I'm frazzled," Amy said.
"You get off soon?"
"Five minutes."
"Doing anything after?"
"No. I'm glad you came in. I have to talk to you."
"Sounds mysterious."
"It's important," Amy said.
"Think the house will treat us to cherry Cokes?"
"Sure. There's an empty booth over there. You stake a claim to it, and I'll join you as soon as I get off work."
A few minutes later Amy brought the Cokes to the booth and sat down opposite Liz.
"What's up?" Liz asked.
Amy stirred her Coke with a straw. "Well . . . I need to . . . " Yeah?"
I need to . . . borrow some money."
"Sure. I can let you have ten anyway. Will that help?"
Liz, I've got to raise at least three or four hundred bucks.
Probably more."
"You serious?"
"Yes."
Jesus, Amy, you know me. When it comes to money, my hands have grease on them.
The stuff just slips away. My folks give it to me pretty much whenever I ask, and then, next thing I know--zip! It's a fuckin' miracle that I've got ten bucks I can let you have. But three or four hundred!"
Amy sighed and nodded. "I was afraid you'd say that."
"Listen, if I had it I'd give it to you."
"I know you would."
Whatever other faults Liz might have--and she had her share--miserliness was not one of them.
"What about your savings?" she asked Amy.
Amy shook her head. "I can't touch my bank account without Mama's approval.
And I'm hoping she won't find out about this."
"About what? What
do you need big bucks for?"
Amy started to speak, but her voice caught in her throat. She was reluctant to reveal her awful secret, even to Liz. She sipped her Coke, buying time to reconsider the wisdom of sharing her misery with her friend.
"Amy?"
The Dive bristled with noise: clicking, beeping, ringing pinball machines, hard-driving rock and roll on the jukebox, a babble of voices, bursts of laughter.
"Amy, what's wrong?"
Blushing, Amy said, "I guess I'm being ridiculous, but I . . .
I'm just . . .
too embarrassed to tell you." "That is ridiculous. You can tell me anything. I'm your best friend, aren't I?" aYes."
That was true, Liz Duncan was her best friend. In fact Liz was just about her only friend. She didn't spend much time with any of the other girls her age.
She hung out almost exclusively with Liz, and that was odd when you thou ght about it. She and Liz were so different from each other in so many ways. Amy studied hard and did well in school, Liz couldn't care less about her grades.
Amy wanted to go to college, Liz abhorred the idea. Amy was introverted, downright shy on occasion, Liz was outgoing, bold, even brassy at times. Amy liked books, Liz preferred movies and Hollywood fan magazines. In spite of the fact that Amy was in rebellion against her mother's excessive religious fervor, she still believed in God, but Liz said that the whole concept of God and life after death was a crock. Amy didn't care much for booze or pot and used them only when she wanted to please Liz, but Liz said that if there was a God--which she assured Amy there was not--he would be worth worshipping just because he had created liquor and marijuana. Even though the two girls differed in countless ways, their friendship flourished. The main reason it flourished was that Amy worked very hard to make a success of it.
She did pretty much what Liz wanted to do, said what she figured Liz wanted to hear.
She never criticized Liz, always humored her, always laughed at her jokes, and nearly always agreed with her opinions. Amy had put an enormous amount of time and energy into making the relationship last, but she had never stopped to ask herself why she cared so much about being Liz Duncan's best friend.
Last night, in bed, Amy had wondered if she'd subconsciously wanted Jerry Galloway to knock her up just to spite her mother. That had been a startling thought. Now she wondered if she was maintaining a friendship with Liz Duncan for the same misguided reason. Liz had (and relished) the worst reputation in school, she was foul-mouthed and irreverent and promiscuous.
Hanging out with her might be, for Amy, just one more act of rebellion against Mama's traditional values and morals.
As before, Amy was unsettled by the thought that she might be screwing up her future just to cause her mother pain. If that was true, then the resentment and anger she felt toward her mother was much deeper, much darker than she had realized. It also meant that she wasn't in control of her life, it meant she was motivated by a black hatred and a corrupting bitterness she couldn't control. She was so unnerved by those ideas that she refused to consider them, she quickly pushed them out of her mind.
"So?" Liz said. "Are you going to tell me what's happening?"
Amy blinked. "Uh . . . well . . . I broke off with Jerry."
"When?" "Last night." "After you left the prom? Why?"
"He's a stupid, mean son of a bitch."
"He's always been," Liz said. "But that didn't bother you before.
Why all of a sudden? And what's this got to do with needing three or four hundred bucks?"
Amy glanced around, afraid that someone might overhear what she was about to say. They were in the last booth, so there was no one behind her.
On the other side, behind Liz, four football jocks were arm-wrestling boisterously. At the nearest table two couples, self-styled intellectuals, were intently discussing current movies, they called them "films" and spoke of aauteurs" as if they'd all worked in Hollywood for years and knew what it was about. No one was eavesdropping.
Amy looked at Liz. "Recently I've been getting sick in the morning."
Liz understood immediately. "Oh, no. What about your period?"
"Missed it." "Holy shit."
"So you see why I need the money."
IaAn abortion," Liz said softly. "Did you tell Jerry?" "That's why we broke up. He says it isn't his. He won't help." "He's a rotten little shit."
I don't know what I'm going to do."
,: "Damn!" Liz said. "I wish you'd gone to the doctor I recommended.
I wish you'd gotten that - prescription for the pill."
- "I was scared of the pill. You hear all these stories about cancer and blood clots . . ." "As soon as I turn twenty-one," Liz said, "I'm going to get the Band-Aid operation. But the pill's essential in the meantime. What's worse--the risk : of blood clot or getting knocked up?" "You're right," Amy said miserably. "I don't know why I didn't do what you told me to do."
Except maybe I wanted to get pregnant and didn't even know it.
Liz leaned toward her. "Jesus, kid, I'm sorry. I'm sorry as hell.
I feel sick.
I really do. I just feel sick that you're in this bind." "Imagine how I feel." "Jesus, what a bad break."
"I don't know what I'm going to do," Amy said again.
"I'll tell you what you're going to do," Liz said. "You're going to go home and tell your old man and your old lady."
"Oh, no. I couldn't. It'd be awful." "Look, I know it won't be pretty. There'll be all sorts of screaming and hollering and namecalling. They'll dump a hell of a load of guilt on you. It'll be an ordeal, for sure. But they aren't going to beat you up or kill you." aMy mother might." "Don't be silly. The old bitch will rant and rave and make you feel miserable for a while. But let's not lose track of what's important here.
The important thing is getting your ass into a clinic and getting that baby scraped out of you as soon as possible."
Amy winced at the other girl's choice of words.
"All you have to do, " Liz said, "is grit your teeth and sit through all the shouting, and then they pay for the abortion."
"No. You're forgetting that my family is Catholic. They think abortion is a sin." "They might think it's a sin, but they won't force a young girl like you to ruin her whole life. Catholics get abortions all the time, no matter what they say." "I'm sure you're right," Amy said. "But my mother is too devout.
She won't ever agree to it."
"You really think she'd be willing to live with the shame of an illegitimate grandchild right there in her own house?"
"To hurt me . . . and mainly to teach me a lesson . . . yes."
"You're sure?" "Positive."
They sat in glum silence for a while.
On the jukebox, Donna Summer was singing about the price she had to pay for love.
Suddenly Liz snapped her fingers. "I've got it!" "What?"
"Even Catholics approve of abortion if the mother's life is in danger, don't they?" "Not all Catholics. Just the most liberal ones approve of it even under those circumstances."
"And your old lady isn't liberal." "Hardly." aBut your father's better, isn't he? At least about the religious stuff" "He's not so fanatical as Mama. He might agree to let me have an abortion if he truly thought the baby would destroy my health." "All right. So you make him think it's destroying your mental health.
Dig it?
You get suicidal. You threaten to kill yourself if you can't have an abortion.
Act like you're half crazy. Be hysterical. Be irrational. Scream, cry, then laugh without having any reason to laugh, then cry again, break things . . .
If all of that doesn't convince them, then you can make a phony attempt to slash your wrists, just a big enough cut to smear some blood around.
They won't be sure whether you botched it on purpose or by accident, and they won't want to take any chances."
Amy slowly shook her head. "It wouldn't work."
"Why not?" "I'm not a good actress."
Y
'll bet you'd fool them."
"Carrying on like that, pretending . . . Well, I'd feel stupid."
"Would you rather feel pregnant?" "There must be another way." aLike what?"
"I don't know." "Face it, kid. This is your best shot." "I don't know."
Y do know."
Amy sipped her Coke. After a couple of minutes of thought, she said, "Maybe you're right. Maybe I'll try the suicide bit." "It'll work.
Just as smooth as glass. You'll see. When will you tell them?" "Well, I had been thinking about breaking the news right after graduation if I couldn't find another way out by then." "That's two weeks! Listen, kid, the sooner the better."
"Two weeks won't hurt anything. Maybe in that time I'll find some way to come up with the money myself." "You won't." "Maybe."
"You won't," Liz said sharply. "Anyway, you're only seventeen.
You probably couldn't get an abortion without your parents' consent, not even if you had the money to pay for it. I'll bet you have to be at least eighteen before they let you have one on your own say-so."
Amy hadn't considered that possibility. She simply didn't think of herself as a minor, she felt a hundred and ten years old.
"Get your head on straight, kid," Liz said. "You wouldn't take my advice about the pill. Now get your shit together this time, will you?
Please, please, for Christ's sake, listen to me. The sooner the better."
Amy realized that Liz was right. She leaned back in the booth, away from the table, and a wave of resignation swept through her. She sagged as if she were a marionette whose strings had been cut.
"Okay.
The sooner the better. I'll tell them tonight or tomorrow." "Tonight." "I don't think I have the strength for it tonight. If I'm going to put on a big suicide act, I'll need to have my wits about me.
I'll have to be rested." "Tomorrow, then," Liz said. "No later than tomorrow. Get it over with. Listen, we have a great summer coming up.
If I go west at the end of the year, like I'm hoping to, this'll probably be the last summer you and I will have together. So we've got to do it up right.
We've got to make a lot of memories to last us a long while. Lots of sun, some good dope to smoke, a couple of new guys . . . It'll be a blast. Except it won't be so terrific if you're walking around all bloated and preggy."
Dean Koontz - (1980) Page 9
