by Hugh Canham
At that moment there was a frantic tapping on the bedroom door and Jolly entered. ‘The doctor is here, sir!’ he announced.
The doctor was a very tall angular Scotsman, who proceeded to Hector’s bedside and stuck out his hand, which Hector reluctantly shook, feebly, having lifted his right hand over the bedclothes.
‘I’m Dr Macnab – I attended your late father. Nice man. Sorry he’s gone. Now, Jolly tells me you’ve got the gout in your left foot. Let’s have a look.’ At which he hauled back the blankets and sheet, revealing Hector’s stark-naked body. Hector feebly protested, indicating Lucasta, who was sitting about two feet away. The doctor noticed Lucasta for the first time.
‘Oh, I’m so sorry. I thought you were the wife!’
‘Don’t worry,’ said Lucasta. ‘I’ve seen naked men before.’
This appeared to settle the matter for Dr Macnab, as he then proceeded to peer at Hector’s left foot, which Lucasta could see was extremely swollen.
‘Och, same as your father used to have. Gout is hereditary, you know. I suppose you’re in pain?’
‘Of course,’ said Hector.
‘Well, I’ll give you a prescription for colchicene and you’d better take two of these very strong painkillers that I have in my bag. They’ll definitely ease the pain, but make you feel a bit woozy. I’ll give you two more for the night. Now, colchicene is an old remedy but it works well. I suggest you take three tablets today, then two a day thereafter. But you must stop once you start having stomach pains, vomiting or diarrhoea. You should be better in a few days. Never had gout before?’
‘Only a few twinges.’
‘You’ve been lucky. Here’s the prescription – no doubt Jolly will get it for you. Cheerio.’ And as fast as he had entered, Dr Macnab departed.
‘I thought you said it was your mother who had gout?’ said Lucasta sharply.
Hector shrugged feebly.
‘You’d better take these painkilling tablets now. Is the bathroom through there?’ asked Lucasta.
‘Yes. Should be a glass in there.’
When Lucasta came back with the glass filled with water, she watched Hector swallow the two tablets and could see, now that she was calmer, that he was indeed extremely unwell.
‘Look, I’ll go and get the prescription for you if you’ll give me an answer to both my questions when I get back.’
‘That’s very kind of you. Yes, please get the prescription, but I can answer both your questions now. Please keep Gloria away from me until I’m better. To have her hugging me with gratitude while I feel at all unwell would set me back a week. Just tell her I’m ill and can’t see anyone for the time being. With regard to the books, I am most distrustful of all dealers. They’ll be slipping a few small volumes into their grubby coat pockets on the quiet. What we must do is this: you should make a list, as accurately as you can, of what books there are and ask them to put a price against each item and watch while they look at them. Wouldn’t you agree that would be sensible?’
‘That must be a good idea – but Hector, you don’t seem very elated by the prospect of getting a fortune for your father’s books!’
‘Well, I am, of course. But the pain in my left foot is really terrible and one of my clients is I think being hunted by the police for a murder I’m sure he never committed. My mind is not clear enough now to explain it to you, but I will when I’m feeling a bit better.’
‘Oh, Hector, you’re not now considering taking up murder detection are you?’
‘I feel I have to. I found the body, you see!’ said Hector solemnly.
6
April 1970 continued
By afternoon, Hector had become so agitated by the murder – in spite of his painkillers, which made him feel quite drowsy – that he felt he had to ring the farm to see if there was any news of Michael.
‘No, there isn’t – he’s taken his car and disappeared completely,’ Linda snapped back down the phone. ‘We’ve had police here all day asking all sorts of questions about our business and everything. Of course, we’ve had to tell them that Michael did utter threats against the poor girl. Well, you probably heard him as well!’
‘But I’m sure he didn’t actually strangle her. He just felt like it.’
‘Well I’m sure he didn’t either – but why has he vanished?’
‘I don’t know why he’s vanished. Because he was upset I suppose. Look, I’m laid up with gout at present, but as soon as I’m better I’m going to start investigating.’
‘Well, good,’ said Linda ungraciously. ‘We need a bit of help.’
If only I could feel better now and get up, thought Hector, but since he didn’t, he stayed in bed and tried to think out a plan of campaign.
While Hector ruminated in bed, Lucasta, taking a break from listing all the rare books in the cupboard, was having tea with Gloria at the Dorchester. Gloria, clad in a bright red trouser suit, was enthusiastically telling Lucasta about the glories of English afternoon tea with scones, butter and jam, as if Lucasta was an alien! They sat on a small sofa, with Gloria’s bodyguard a few yards away, not participating in the tea, in a small armchair. Gloria told Lucasta, of course, how devastated she was about Hector’s illness, how excited she was about the Raphael, and how wonderful it was to be in London again. Lucasta was able to study Gloria closely during this monologue. False eyelashes. Probably over fifty. Ridiculously enhanced bosom – it was almost as big as her own – and too much makeup. In addition to all these failings, Gloria seemed to Lucasta one of the most materialistic people she’d ever met. Lucasta had supposed that Gloria would immediately want to go and see her Raphael, the overpainting having now been carefully removed, but Gloria appeared to be much more interested in speculating how much it was worth and how and where she should sell it.
‘Look, darling, you must know all the good dealers. Take me round them, would you, so I can see what I can get for it. If it’s not enough, I’ll have to take it back with me to the States!’
Lucasta wondered what difficulties would be encountered in doing this. Hector had managed somehow to smuggle an insignificant small painting into the country, but taking a known Raphael out of it might be somewhat more difficult!
‘Look, darling, you must think of the best five dealers in town and then we’ll get the picture tomorrow and tout it round them.’
Lucasta shuddered at the brazenness of it all.
‘I’m extremely busy cataloguing some very rare books for Hector at the moment, and it’s very urgent,’ she explained. ‘Could I perhaps give you a list of a few dealers so that you could go round on your own – with your staff of course?’ She nodded towards the bodyguard. ‘I will take you to meet the restorer, however. In my opinion he’s done a wonderful job and no doubt he’d like to be paid for it.’
‘Darling, I’ll settle with him once the picture’s sold.’
Two days later, after a spectacular bout of diarrhoea and vomiting, Hector was feeling better. Jolly had brought him tea and toast from time to time, which was all he wanted. The doctor had been again, at which time he indicated that Hector would have to take something called allopurinol for the rest of his life. He also apologised about his mistake about the ‘young lady’.
‘I just assumed, my dear fellow!’
‘Quite all right,’ said Hector.
And now he was getting up and having a much-needed bath and shave and fitting his left foot gingerly into his shoe. He had decided what to do about the murder investigation, but first made a call to the farm to make sure that Michael was still missing. It was 11.30 a.m., and he resolved to go to the late Sally Koy’s office straight away. He would take the car. Then he remembered it had been impounded. Stopping only to give instructions to Jolly to find out about the whereabouts of the Rolls, he strode, still slightly limping, out of the front door.
‘Are you going out, sir? Oh well. Miss Lucasta keeps saying she wants to see you urgently.’
‘Look Jolly. it’s a question of priorities.
One of our clients is suspected of a murder he didn’t commit. I’ve wasted two days lying in bed with this infernal gout and now I must go and deal with it. I can’t be in three or four places at once, can I?’
Once outside, he hailed a taxi which dropped him at the offices of S. Koy & Co., which he entered. All was very quiet. A plain young lady sat behind a desk which had a notice saying ‘Reception’ on it. She smiled bleakly at Hector.
‘Hello,’ said Hector brightly. ‘I’m Hector Elroy. May I speak to Miss Koy’s secretary please?’
‘You’re looking at her,’ said the young lady.
‘Ah – I see. Well, um, I’m very sorry about Miss Koy’s death.’
The girl nodded.
‘I brought her back from the meeting at the Ashmolds. She left her coat and briefcase in the back of my car by mistake and when I went to her flat to bring them back to her – well, I found her body.’
The girl had started to cry.
Hector hurried on mendaciously, ‘The fact is that, well, at the meeting Miss Koy picked up some papers of mine relating to another case – I’m sure by mistake. She must have brought them back in her briefcase. I wondered if we could look in it and see if they are still there.’
The tears were now flowing freely.
‘I’m sorry but I think the police still have her briefcase,’ she was finally able to say. ‘Anyway, I can’t do anything without consulting him in there.’ She jerked her head behind her to what was obviously Sally’s office. ‘He’s from the Law Society, you see.’
‘Oh, I see. Well, it’s pretty hopeless, I think, if the police still have her briefcase, because that’s where my papers would be.’
The secretary was now dabbing her eyes with a tissue.
‘Er, I’m sorry you’re so upset,’ said Hector rather feebly.
‘It’s just nice to talk to somebody who knew Sally. She was an orphan, you know. I’ve been with her five years, you see.’
‘Well, yes. That’s a long time. Look, can’t I take you out for a drink or a spot of lunch? Is there anyone who can take over from you?’
‘Yes, there’s Rita. That would be really nice – I’ll go and get her.’
Five minutes later, Fleur – for that was the plain girl’s name – was gulping gratefully at a large glass of white wine in a bistro round the corner.
‘It’s true she wasn’t molested, isn’t it?’ she asked Hector. ‘You’d know, as you found the body.’
‘Not as far as I could see. She was just lying on her bed fully dressed as though she’d fallen asleep. You see, when I brought her things back, I found the flat door open and thought it odd, so I went up and there she was . . . And then I just called the police.’
‘And they suspect one of your clients, don’t they?’
‘Well, they’re so stupid, they suspected me at first. I ask you, would you call the police if you’d just strangled someone? Anyhow, Michael Ashmold has apparently disappeared, but that could be for other reasons. Tell me, did Sally have any close friends at all?’
‘She didn’t have any family at all that I know of and she didn’t have many friends, particularly recently because she worked most of the time, you see. She liked it on her own rather than being a partner in that great outfit in the city, but it was very hard for her at first when we came here. She just worked. She even had to give up her dancing, even though it was that that had caused the row with her old firm.’
‘Yes, she told me about that.’
‘Tom – that was her dancing partner – was furious! They were going in for the Championships, you see, and probably would have won. She just said she couldn’t do it any more and he’d have to find himself another partner, which he did. But he and his new partner didn’t come anywhere in the competition. And then when she started up doing a bit with this new chap, Donald – well, there was a rumpus.’
‘What sort of rumpus?’
‘Well, Tom heard about it apparently and came round to the office and started shouting. She had to tell him to leave otherwise she’d call the police and all that.’
‘I see.’
By this stage, Fleur was attacking a plate of lasagne with considerable gusto. ‘And,’ she added, ‘he tried again, but I was too quick for him. I told him to go.’
‘And he went?’
‘Yes. You may not believe this, but I can be very fierce if I want to be. I am . . . was . . . very fond of Sally. She was only hard about work, not in other ways.’
‘Oh dear,’ said Hector as the tears started to flow again.
‘Are you coming to the funeral?’
‘I didn’t know it was going to be so soon,’ replied Hector.
‘Oh yes. The police said it was okay.’
‘Are either Tom or Donald likely to be there?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘When and where is it?’
‘Golders Green. Eleven-thirty tomorrow.’
‘I’ll be there, of course,’ said Hector.
‘I can’t see Gloria this morning – I’m going to a funeral.’
‘But I told her you were better!’
‘Well, it’ll have to be this afternoon – maybe.’
‘But she’s driving me mad!’
‘I expect she is. She’s like that.’
‘The dealers all say they’re not sure if it is a Raphael.’
‘Well, what on earth can I do about that? She’d better get it authenticated or whatever. Can’t she take it to the National Gallery or something?’
‘No – she won’t do that as she says if it’s authenticated as a Raphael they won’t ever let her take it out of the country, and that it’s all your fault for smuggling it in in your suitcase in the first place!’
‘Well! There’s gratitude again.’
‘And Hector!’
‘Yes.’
‘You’re still very irritable!’
‘No I’m not.’
‘You’re trying to investigate this murder, aren’t you?’
‘Well, yes. I’m trying to find out who killed the girl,’ said Hector stiffly.
‘I saw a picture of her in one of the tabloids. Very glamorous. A “leggy blonde”, they described her as. Was she?’
‘She was a very attractive girl.’
‘I see. Well!’
There was a silence.
‘Look, I must speak to you about your books as well. I’ve made the list as you suggested. Is it all right to get the two antiquarian booksellers in now?’
‘It is, but you must stay with them at all times, Lucasta. I don’t trust them.’
‘How the hell can I stay with them and deal with your daft friend Gloria at the same time?’
Lucasta’s face was becoming extremely red.
‘Look, calm down, old thing. Just tell Gloria I’ll see her this afternoon, and put the two antiquarians off until tomorrow. I’m hopeful of maybe solving the murder by then!’
Far from calming Lucasta down, this statement seemed to enrage her even more. She said something like ‘Bah!’ and turned and strode off to the library. At that moment, Jolly appeared through the front door.
‘I’m glad to say, sir, I’ve retrieved the car from the authorities and it is now safely in the garage. Fortunately, it appears to be undamaged by the experience. Here’s the bill for everything.’
‘Excellent. Well done, Jolly.’
In spite of the fact that he was going to a funeral, Hector felt in a very good mood. He supposed it must be because he was cured of the gout. But as he drove towards North London he did wonder why Lucasta was so cross. It must be because he called her ‘old thing’ he thought to himself.
Hector parked in the car park in front of the crematorium, a bleak place at any time, but now that it had begun to drizzle, a really melancholy sight. He wanted to get into the chapel before anyone else to get a seat so that he could have a good look at everyone as they came in, but his way was barred by a functionary.
‘Just a moment, sir. We’ve just
had a Jewish funeral and the chapel is being rearranged.’
After a few moments, the cross had been reinstalled and Hector was allowed in.
Let us hope the guilty party is among the mourners! he said to himself as he sat down. And then he thought that a prayer for Sally, as well as one for him to find out who murdered her, would be appropriate, so he knelt down, at the same time keeping his eyes open to see who came into the chapel.
Sitting again, he smiled at Fleur as she came in. She still seemed very upset. She sat right next to the coffin. Hector waited impatiently for more people to arrive, but by the time the canned music started and the clergyman entered, there were only three other men in there in addition to himself and the undertakers.
The dreary ceremony was over very quickly. Fleur cried loudly throughout and made her way swiftly to the door once it was over. But Hector intercepted her.
‘Quick, who’s that chap over there just getting up from his seat?’
Fleur looked tearfully to where Hector pointed.
‘That,’ she said, ‘is the wretched Tom. I thought he would come.’
Hector led Fleur outside.
‘Look,’ he said earnestly, ‘do you have his address at all or phone number? Have the police ever asked you for it?’
‘No, the police have never asked, although of course I told them about him. But yes, I must have his address in the office somewhere.’
Hector had the greatest difficulty convincing Chief Inspector Burke that it was Tom Merryl he had noticed lurking in the street when he had dropped Sally off at her flat. Burke was still firmly convinced that Michael had driven to London and somehow carried out his threat to strangle Sally and then disappeared.
However, the later editions of the Evening Standard announced that the police were questioning a suspect in connection with the murder of Sally Koy, and that the suspect was her former dancing partner.
Hector was feeling on top form as Gloria’s arrival was announced by Jolly, who ushered her into his office at tea time. She was wearing a grey overcoat with an extravagant fur collar, but immediately discarded it to reveal a figure-hugging silk dress of cherry pink.
