by Hugh Canham
‘Ah, Lucasta. Nice to hear from you. Are you feeling better?’
Hector was extremely pleased that she had telephoned him.
‘A bit. Look, may I come and see you?’
‘Of course. Any time. No, hang on! I have a rather busy day. I’ve to see those booksellers at eleven o’clock and then a client at twelve, then lunch with a chap I know. And then in the afternoon I’m going to see Gloria’s insurers about the picture. They’re refusing to pay up, you know. So that may take a while. Would you like to come about five o’clock; I’d definitely be free by then.’
‘Okay.’
‘You really are feeling better?’
‘Yes, a bit. I had a bad night though.’
‘Yes, stormy, wasn’t it! I was woken up too . . . Well, I look forward to seeing you at five then.’
The day seemed very long to Lucasta. The managing agents were more efficient than usual and actually made an appointment to come and look at the roof in two days’ time. She’d just finished a very good novel by Daphne du Maurier called The Scapegoat and had borrowed another one from the library entitled The House on the Strand, which she had hoped would be as good. But she couldn’t get into it. She tried the television. She switched from programme to programme, but it all seemed equally banal. Eventually she got out her knitting. She was about halfway through the back of a cardigan she was knitting her father for next Christmas. The pattern was uncomplicated, but she managed to drop a stitch almost immediately. She realised that she was not confronting the main problem: how she was going to get on with Hector. When she considered it calmly, although she’d been amazed at the time by Hector’s proposal, it really wasn’t all that unexpected. They got on rather well in an argumentative sort of way. And at least Hector had never tried to grope her. That had been the trouble with all her previous boyfriends. They’d all had a total fixation on her body. Duncan hadn’t been much better. They met and got engaged very quickly, and after that Duncan seemed to think she’d just do anything he wanted and was most put out when she said, ‘No, after we are married.’ Then he’d asked her if she couldn’t just take her clothes off and let him kiss her all over?
‘Well, I ask you!’ she said aloud to herself. And then muttered, ‘What about a bit of kindness!’
And of course Hector was very likely to be rather rich in due course. She thought of his mother’s large estate which he said he would sell when his mother died, not to mention the books. And she did call to mind the sight of Hector’s naked body on the bed when the doctor had visited. Goodness, he was very large and hairy!
She took up her knitting again and almost immediately dropped two more stitches, whereupon she hurled it into the corner of the room. She realised she was in a terrible mood and had an awful headache. She took two aspirin tablets, put her favourite LP of the moment on very low – Schubert’s Spring Symphony – and lay back in her armchair and closed her eyes . . .
She woke up with a start and realised it was four-thirty. She wanted to change her clothes to go and see Hector. She didn’t really want to talk to him in her jeans and jumper. But there really wasn’t time – or was there? Yes, she would change into a smart navy blue suit and take her little red shoulder cloak with her. Her headache seemed to have gone, thank goodness. She’d just have to be a bit late . . . Have to get a taxi. As she was changing, she realised that she wasn’t sure what she was going to say to Hector when she got there.
It was nearly five-thirty when she finally reached St James’s Square and entered Hector’s hall. She’d often thought that anyone could walk in and steal anything as the front door was left open during the day and the swing doors into the hall didn’t lock. She’d have to do something about that if she came to live here! Hector’s office door stood ajar and there was a strange sweet smell coming from the room. She knocked and went in and then stopped.
‘I’m sorry if I’m interrupting something,’ she said frigidly.
Gloria, the source of the sweet smell, was embracing Hector most enthusiastically; reaching up to kiss him on his face and laughing theatrically. Hector looked more restrained but appeared to be quite enjoying it. When she heard Lucasta’s voice, Gloria released Hector and turned, beaming, towards her.
‘Darling, I’m just thanking Hector for what he’s done. He got those ghastly insurers to pay up the whole lot. Isn’t that wonderful? And I’ve been hammering at them for the last week and got nowhere. Look what I’ve brought for you, darling Hector.’
She turned and went to the chair where she’d deposited her bag, fur stole and a parcel, which she grasped and waved in the air.
‘Let me unwrap it for you.’
There was an agitated tearing of the paper and Sellotape and then she triumphantly turned and displayed a large framed photograph.
‘I’ve signed it for you, darling – look. Come look too, Lucasta. Hector, it’ll look great just behind your desk!’
Lucasta’s mouth dropped open in amazement. The photo was about 18 inches by 12 and must have been taken several years previously. It showed Gloria in a low-cut but long evening dress. There was a split up the side of the skirt through which one of her legs protruded provocatively. Her head was thrown back in a wanton laugh. Across the lower part of the photo was scrawled in red ink: ‘To Hector, the best attorney in the world – in admiration. Gloria Wold XXX.’
‘That’s me in my best role, as Ivy in The Wildcats, Oscar-nominated!’
‘Gloria, my dear, I will always treasure it,’ said Hector rather smugly.
Lucasta wondered whether he was being entirely sincere. Several rival emotions fought inside her. She’d been working herself up all day to come and have a serious talk with Hector and then she’d found him in the arms of Gloria, who now had her arm over his arm and was stroking his hand and saying, ‘And darling, I’m going to take you out to a slap-up dinner at the best restaurant in this city.’
Hector released himself gently from Gloria’s hold and put her photo reverentially on the floor propped up against his desk. He then looked smilingly at the American, who had taken out her powder compact and was studying her face closely to see if any damage had come to it through her recent display of passion. He drew in a deep breath and said, ‘Gloria, before you get carried away and buy me a very expensive “thank you” dinner, I want you to understand that I shall be charging a substantial fee for the work I’ve done.’
‘Well, of course, dear, I always expected you’d charge me something – but as we’re such close friends . . .’
‘I thought in the circumstances a fee of one half of one per cent of the insurance money would be appropriate.’
Gloria suddenly stopped viewing herself in her mirror, snapped the compact shut and put it in her handbag. She looked stonily at Hector and appeared to be making a rapid mental calculation.
‘But, gee . . . that’s a hell of a lot just for a couple of hours’ work!’
‘Gloria, I think you should consider the value to you rather than the time I actually spent persuading the insurance company. Also the fact that the ability to be so persuasive does not come overnight. It comes from many years of practice and expertise as a lawyer!’
‘Well, I’ll have to think about it. I don’t have that sort of money with me in this country.’
‘Oh, that’s quite all right. As you are a non-resident, the insurers have insisted on paying the money directly into my client account, so I shall deduct my fee before making arrangements to send the balance to whichever account or accounts of yours you wish credited in the States. Perhaps you’d let me have the details in due course?’
Lucasta watched this interchange with interest as it threw a new light on Hector and confirmed her opinion of Gloria. Gloria said nothing, but the expression on her face and especially around her mouth said it all!
She gathered up her bag and fur and smiled at Hector. ‘Darling, you’re just wonderful!’ she said, then went up to him, kissed him on both cheeks and made an exit, closing the office door r
ather loudly behind her.
‘Sorry about all that, Lucasta,’ said Hector, seating himself behind his desk. ‘Now, you wanted to talk to me?’
Lucasta sat in the client’s chair and said, ‘Phew, Hector, you’re amazing!’
‘So people keep telling me!’
‘And you’ve got Gloria’s lipstick all over your face. That photo – you’re surely not going to hang it in here?’
‘I hardly think so!’ said Hector, rubbing his cheeks furiously with his handkerchief. ‘Is it all off?’
‘Um, mostly. How did you manage to get the insurers to pay up so quickly?’
‘Well, I shouldn’t really disclose trade secrets, but I did a bit of research on Gloria. She was very well known about twenty to twenty-five years ago. She’s appeared in numerous films – latterly, I deduced, of the B-movie variety. But in her heyday she was indeed nominated for an Oscar three times. Never actually won it, but obviously had clout in the industry. She’s had four husbands, by the way.’
‘It looked to me as if she was hoping you might become her fifth!’
‘That ran through my mind also, but thankfully I’m sure she’s dropped the idea after the fee I’m charging her!’
‘I see. But now I’ve lost the thread of what you were telling me.’
‘Ah, the trade secret. Well, quite simple really. Either these things work or they don’t. I just had a “lucky break”, as Gloria would describe it. I made an appointment with Gloria’s insurers and was shown in to see some under-manager. I told him, quite frankly, that my client had been very patient with them. There was no question of her being negligent. When the picture had been on display it was in a most reputable hotel before an invited celebrity audience and a security guard was on duty. Nobody knew why there was a power failure. The police had done their best, but were of the opinion that there was little hope of tracing the picture as it had probably been taken abroad and was by now in the hands of a rich private collector. My client had paid a very large premium to insure the item and was not at all happy with the way the company had handled her claim. She was a famous film star. She would be reluctant to do it, but she felt very minded to tell the national and international media how upset she was about the way the insurers had treated her. The adverse publicity would, no doubt, reflect on the company’s good name. I was asked to wait while all this was no doubt repeated to the Big White Chief, who, after about ten minutes and a cup of coffee later, appeared with a beaming smile on his face and told me that of course there had been a misunderstanding. The case had been dealt with routinely up to this point. Now he had personally been informed of all the circumstances, the claim would be met in full immediately. So I’ve had a good day. I even met the booksellers this morning and beat them up to £500,000!’
‘Golly, you’re getting rich!’
‘Ah, but I shall have to pay death duties on the books and income tax on the fee.’
‘But that still leaves you with a bit, doesn’t it?’
‘Very true. Anyhow, it’s nice – very nice indeed – to see you again. What did you want to talk to me about?’
‘Well, I’d like to take up your offer of living in your flat, subject to discussing the details.’
‘Wonderful! I’ve been hoping you’d say yes. Now, what are the details?’
‘Well, subject to the following . . . you’d better tell me if you agree with each point. One. I am to be treated as if I were your tenant paying rent even though you’d said you’d let me have the flat free. And I gathered you would pay the electricity and gas for me.’
‘I hadn’t mentioned the electricity and gas specifically, but yes, I agree.’
‘Two. It would be nice if the flat, which I’ve had a quick look at, could be given a coat of paint and cleaned up a bit.’
‘Of course. You shall select the colours and you’d better have some new curtains and a fitted carpet throughout. I think the furniture needs a bit of updating, too.’
‘That’s very nice. Thank you! Three. I will work for you at my present hourly rate. I don’t know what you’ll be wanting me to do in the future, but for the present I presume you want me to continue sorting out your father’s library?’
‘Yes, and there will be a lot of other things to do. The practice will, I hope, grow.’
‘That’s fine. What about Jolly though? I think he resents me being here.’
‘I will give him a good talking to. You must understand that, apart from the housekeeper, this has always been an all-male firm.’
‘I would not wish to work in the same room as him.’
‘No. I won’t ask you to.’
‘Four. We are not to, how shall I put it, “get in one another’s way”, unless we mutually agree.’
‘Okay – but that’s going to be the difficult one, I think.’
‘I shall be very firm about it. And Five. You are not to ask me to help on any further detective nonsense.’
‘That’s a disappointment. I’m sorry you think it nonsense. You have benefited considerably financially from assisting me. However, I suppose I shall have to agree, albeit reluctantly. You see, Lucasta, when you’re near me I seem to be able to think much better than usual!’
‘Well, you seem to have managed pretty well with the insurance company this afternoon and I was nowhere near you. I was in Kensington!’
‘That’s different, that’s legal work. It’s the thinking that’s involved in detective work that I mean, you see. I enjoy it much more than legal practice.’
There was a silence.
‘You don’t look very happy, Hector.’
‘Well I am really very, very happy that you’re coming to live and work here, but I do think you’re being a bit hard about the detective work. I wouldn’t want you to do anything, just to be there.’
‘You know as well as I do that it has been rather unpleasant in the past.’
‘Yes, I suppose so. But anyway, I agree to everything you want. So, we should be happy with this arrangement and not be looking at one another glumly! As Gloria won’t be taking me out to dinner, let me take you. And before that I’ll raid Father’s wine cellar for some of his vintage champagne. Jolly will get it out. And, ah yes, there was one stipulation that I should have made to you, but forgot. Jolly. I know he’s a difficult old sod at times, but he worked for my father for years and we wouldn’t be sitting here now if he hadn’t somehow managed to keep the practice running. He’s very jealous of his position. If you could possibly defer to him a little – I try to myself – it would be very helpful. You know the sort of thing. Consult him about what to do and don’t give him orders. Would you try to do that please?’
‘I shall try,’ said Lucasta, not very convincingly.
‘Now, why don’t we both go and have a look at the flat and have a think about what needs to be done. How soon would you want to move in?’
‘I’m not sure.’
Hector had booked a table at a very smart restaurant. This was all very nice, Lucasta thought, and she was glad she’d stopped and changed into the rather stylish navy suit she was now wearing, but while they were consuming the champagne in Hector’s sitting room, and during the taxi ride to the restaurant, she’d felt distinctly uneasy. She hadn’t really been honest about the leaking roof, had she? And as she started having difficulty eating her dressed crab, she knew she must tell him. Hector, who had been beaming and taking large mouthfuls of Chablis, now looked at her anxiously.
‘Lucasta, is something the matter? Isn’t the crab fresh?’
‘Oh God,’ thought Lucasta. ‘Why can’t I be devious?’
‘Hector,’ she said, pushing the crab aside, ‘I haven’t been entirely honest and frank with you.’
‘Oh, in what way?’
‘Well, I didn’t . . . well, my decision to take your flat . . . well, it was influenced, you see.’ And she proceeded to tell him everything – about the roof leaking the previous night and the slowness of the managing agents in getting repairs done. S
he thought Hector would undoubtedly be cross and that he might even withdraw his offer.
But he merely laughed and said, ‘Well, we’d better get your new flat ready for you at great speed then, hadn’t we? I’ll write a suitable letter to these managing agents on your behalf saying that in the circumstances you must find other accommodation as soon as possible. Leave it to me!’
‘Thank you. That’s a relief!’ said Lucasta. ‘Ah! I do feel much better now that I’ve got that off my chest and you’re not angry. I might be able to enjoy the next course now! By the way, what do you think really happened to Gloria’s picture?’
‘Well, I have a theory,’ said Hector, lowering his voice, ‘that she arranged its disappearance herself. She no doubt managed to get a good black-market price for it from some unscrupulous collector. But you would know more about that sort of thing than I do.’
‘Goodness! Do you really think that’s what she did?’
‘Well, it’s just a little theory.’
‘If it’s true, what a crook she is!’
‘Yes, I never really liked her.’
‘But you seemed to like being kissed by her. I saw you!’
‘This chicken’s awfully good, isn’t it? I’m glad you’re tucking into yours.’
‘And this bottle of red wine’s wonderful, Hector – but don’t change the subject. You seemed to enjoy her kissing you . . . greatly!’
‘Er, yes. Well, I’m only human and she’s a rather attractive woman – physically.’
‘I see . . .’
‘Anyhow, I hope we’ve seen the last of her.’
‘So do I. I suppose you’d like me to start work again tomorrow?’
