“More like trouble lurking in the shadows, wouldn’t you say?” I asked, eyeing him with distrust.
“I wouldn’t call it lurking. It’s more like a low-level stalking. Lurking sounds so creepy.”
A small chuckle escaped my lips before I could contain it. I didn’t want to encourage him after what just happened with Hunter. Dead angels didn’t quite fit in with the whole make-up session I’d had in mind a moment ago.
“Oh no, you’re definitely a creepy lurker. Were you eavesdropping on us?”
“Me?” he asked, all fake innocence and smiles. “No way. You just have that trouble in paradise look on your face. It’s pretty obvious. And eavesdropping is way beneath me.”
“Really? You don’t seem like much is beneath you.”
“Ooooo. Yeah, well, not much has been beneath me lately… sadly.”
Damn, he was a bold one. That carnal bit of information was meant for nothing but provocation. Even without Hunter’s warning, I knew it would be best to keep my distance from that fire, which wasn’t as easy as it sounded. The guy was smokin’ hot, with the charisma of an ancient god, luring you in before you knew your feet were no longer on the ground. The heat alone was enough to make me sweat from the ten feet we were standing apart.
“With that lurky nature of yours, I can’t say it surprises me.”
“Ouch,” he said, placing his hand on his chest, drawing my eyes to the clearly defined muscles.
After realizing I’d allowed myself to gawk too long, I raised my eyes back up to his. He smiled at me, undoubtedly enjoying my blatant examination.
“Did you want something, Braydon?” I asked, needing to cut this conversation short before someone, namely Hunter, caught me talking to a half-naked god… I mean, angel.
His eyebrows shot up, most likely because of my curtness.
“Actually, it’s something you want.” He pushed away from the wall he’d been leaning against and started toward me. I quickly glanced behind me, instinctively looking for an escape route should it come to that, and realized my back was already against the glass door to the gardens. I should have turned and walked out, but curiosity, and maybe a bit of something else, kept my feet rooted to the spot.
“Excuse me?” I breathed out when he’d gotten so close I could see the flecks of gold glinting in his emerald eyes.
He leaned in so his lips were close to my ear. As wrong as I knew the position was, I didn’t move away.
“The Sword,” he whispered. A shiver ran through my entire body from the heat of his breath on my ear. Or was it the object he’d referred to because the same obsessive thoughts chanted in my head just as they had in the training room when he’d mentioned the Sword. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. I felt paralyzed by the single word as if it had been spoken by a hypnotist. “Meet me tonight. I’ll show you anything you want to see.”
While my brain screamed No, something deep inside me demanded I go. Whatever it was didn’t want to wait until tonight. It needed immediate fulfillment, and I had no idea where it was coming from or why it was so compelling. That scared the hell out of me. Suddenly, I’d become this psychotic nut job, who secretly argued with herself. I had to get out. This place was making me crazy.
“No.” I blurted out, more forcefully than I’d meant, at least not toward Braydon. The little psycho in my head, on the other hand, needed to listen up.
Braydon took a step away at my outburst, looking confused and more than taken aback.
“I mean, no,” I said in a softer voice. “I have plans tonight.”
He studied me a moment, then his composure loosened up.
“All right then,” he said, pronouncing each word slow and steady. “Maybe some other time. I’m there almost every night, but Hadraniel wouldn’t appreciate me having guests, so let me know when you want to, and I’ll figure something out. It’ll be our little secret.” He winked, and a sly smile formed his lips, making him appear dangerous but sexy as hell.
“Okay, sure,” I rushed out, my brain starting to overpower psycho with thoughts of getting as far away and as soon as possible. “I… I gotta go, Braydon.” I turned toward the door and proceeded to blindly fumble for the handle.
An arm calmly reached over me and grabbed the handle. I jerked my head over my shoulder to look at him. He smiled and held me with his eyes as I heard the door open. “Talk to you soon, Cassie.”
It took me a moment to gain control of myself, captivated by this angel who had somehow managed to unbalance me with a mere smile, flirtation, and promise. When I finally did, I scrambled out the door spurting out something incoherent even to my own ears and ran through the gardens until I could breathe again.
Clearing my head, I glanced around. I was in the middle of the gardens, a sprinkling fountain marking its centricity. A decorative, red brick walkway surrounded the water feature and branched out into four directional paths. I knew exactly where each path led because I’d been to all of them multiple times, each bringing me comfort in different ways from their deliberately landscaped coloring and scents. Various vibrant flowers lined the paths, creating a symmetrical mosaic that, from the air, must look like a beautiful, aesthetic art piece.
I sat on a cushioned park bench a few feet from the fountain and closed my eyes, letting the sweet, aromatic fragrance permeate the air. Soft, steady pinging of the water fountain calmed my rampant emotions. I had no idea what was going on with me, but I had to get whatever it was under control. I felt like a hormonal teenager in the midst of a monumental puberty phase. Not really the frame of mind I wanted to be in when and if Caleb decided to show.
Maybe it all stemmed from feeling so imprisoned in the Sanctuary. When I first agreed we would stay here to bait Caleb, I figured I’d be free to come and go as I pleased. Free to go out on searches with Hunter for information, on guardian missions, or simply to get away. After all, we were doing the angels a favor by helping get rid of the competition. For the first few weeks, it was exactly what I thought it would be. But all that changed after I was almost captured by a demon while out on a mission with Hunter and a few others. I hadn’t seen him coming. None of us had. He laid in wait while a whole group of demons attacked our group, and then sprang out and grabbed me. The minute Hunter saw what was happening, he came to my rescue. I was shaken, but safe. We found out that day, Caleb had put a price on my head, promising any demon a place by his side as king if they captured me and brought me to him alive. That was the last day I was allowed out of the Sanctuary, and quite possibly the day I started going bat-shit crazy.
Or maybe my mental state simply had to do with too many sleepless nights. Scientific evidence proved a lack of sleep could lead to a diminished mental capacity. Whether it affected those of the angel/demon variety was probably not a researched statistic, but I still had human attributes, and maybe that was enough. The problem wasn’t that I didn’t sleep, it was just my dreams of killing Hunter made it a restless kind, which left me more exhausted than when I hit the pillow. My previous experience with nightmares made it more horrifying, but I’d learned a few very important lessons about the prophecies of my dreams—I had the power to change their outcome—and fate is a path you create, one step at a time. My immediate plan was to tiptoe through it because every step I took seemed to trip a different land mine.
The nightmare of killing Hunter hit me on such a deep emotional level, more than any of the others. He was the love of my life. My soul mate. The mere thought of holding the Sword to him made me physically ill, which was why the strong reactions I’d been having at the simple mention of the Sword scared the hell out of me. I knew, as much as I wanted to deny it, the nightmare was trying to press its way into my reality, and I had to take control before it was too late.
If Hunter couldn’t be convinced, I’d have to take matters into my own hands. Again. Maybe that’s what Caleb was waiting for anyway. A string dangling from the tightly woven fabric of the angel army might be enough for him to stick his hand out a
nd give it a tug. Becoming that string would be next to impossible, though, as everyone was dead set against me leaving the protection of the Sanctuary. Nora, Eric, Mom, Dad—none of them would help me. They were even worse than Hunter, wanting to keep me under constant supervision. I loved them all, but the situation was almost as if I couldn’t even shower without one of them showing up in the stall with me if I took too long.
Braydon. His name popped into my head from out of nowhere.
Maybe if I got friendlier…
No. No, that was insane. I could never do that. Where did that even come from? Not happening. I’d find a way to convince Hunter to work with me, come up with a plan to tempt Caleb out of hiding once and for all.
But if he didn’t, I just might have a backup plan.
CHAPTER FIVE
I entered the dining room feeling more relaxed and balanced than I had earlier in the day. Sitting in the gardens for two full hours and contemplating the what-ifs, I’d gone over what I would say to Hunter when we talked. Then I wandered along the paths, simply taking in the beauty around me, letting it seep into my soul to lighten the darkness, which seemed to have grown within me. The heaviness had lifted, but I still felt a small lump attached to my heart threatening to build back up again. It had been there since I’d gotten back from Hell… a scar I’d earned, flaring up when I became frustrated or hurt and making me much more cognizant of my emotions. Regardless, it seemed I had little control of them lately.
The normal dinner crowd was seated at the long, hardwood table, only half-filling it as usual. Angels didn’t dine with our group, and we were more than okay with that. Who wanted to eat with people who thought you deserved nothing more than a bowl on the floor for scraps?
A quick glance around the table and I smiled back at Nora, Eric, my mom and dad, and a few other demons, who had become part of our group due to their allegiance to Hunter. Nora and Eric always sat together at one corner of the table, as did my mom and dad on the opposite side. Others filled in alongside them. The head of the table had been designated for Hunter, which he refused at first, claiming my dad’s seniority was more deserving of the honor, but my dad wouldn’t allow it. He told Hunter it was his strength and endurance that had led to his daughter’s safe return from Hell, and for that he deserved the honorable position. Of course, Hunter was adamant I sit by his side since that area was big enough for two. It seemed silly to me. They were just chairs, for crying out loud. We sat, we ate, we left. It was all too old-fashioned for my taste, but who was I to argue? I couldn’t even leave the property with an armed guard.
At the moment, the head of the table was a gaping hole. Hunter hadn’t shown up yet. At least, that’s what I told myself, but the niggling feeling in my gut twitched as I walked the length of the table to my chair. Once I sat down, maids started bringing in covered dishes and setting them on various parts of the table. One maid, Trina, who often came to our rooms to change out the bedding and towels, filled my glass with water. That’s when I noticed there was no table setting for Hunter.
“Trina,” I said, “it looks like someone forgot to set a spot for Hunter.”
“No, ma’am,” she said. “Hunter will not be dining in the hall tonight.”
“What?” Hunter always came to dinner with me.
Eric cleared his throat, louder than necessary, and I jerked my head to look at him.
“She’s right,” he said. “Hunter’s not coming. He said to eat without him tonight.”
My stomach dropped. It was stupid, I know, but this was the first time since we’d been at the Sanctuary he wasn’t here with me. Even in all the times we’d had our tiffs, he’d come to dinner. It was a staple in our lives. If they weren’t on a search mission, they came… he came. Something was definitely wrong.
I searched each face for answers, but they all put their heads down when my gaze fell on them. It was as if they knew his absence was as monumental as I was making it out to be, and I was certain they were uncomfortable being caught in the middle of something.
“But why? Where is he?” I asked Eric.
“I don’t know, Cassie. He said he needed a break.” Eric paused a moment, and then added, “Alone.”
A break. Alone.
Coming from anyone else, those words were simple, innocent. Knowing they came from Hunter and were said because of me, was crushing.
The lump in my chest began to grow, playing havoc on my emotions. It was my fault he was staying away, and I knew that, but knowing it didn’t make the pain any less cutting. Another dark emotion latched itself onto that pain, barely at the edge of it, as if feeding on it until it was nourished enough to detach itself and become its own entity. I was losing control.
“He needs a break?” I asked, unable to keep the bite from my tone. “He does?” I stood and braced my arms on the table. “Well, that must be nice for him. Anyone else need a break?” I glanced around the table. “How about you, Nora? Mom? Dad?” Anael entered the room, and I stood straight and motioned toward her. “What about you, Anael?”
She stopped in her tracks as her eyebrows shot up. “What about me?” she asked scanning the room, searching for clues to what she’d done.
“Cassie,” my dad whispered as he reached over to put his hand on my arm, to pacify my building tantrum.
I pulled my arm away. “Don’t you need a break?” I asked Anael. “Oh wait. You’re free to take as many breaks from this place as you want. In fact, all of you are. How stupid of me.”
“Cassie,” my dad said again, not as gracious as before. He stood and came around the table. “Obviously, you’re upset with Hunter, but that’s no reason to take it out on all of us. What’s gotten into you?”
I turned and studied the expression on his face, a condescending look one would give a crazed person in the middle of an episode. It made my blood boil.
“What’s gotten into me? You’re all just like him. You all wave and tell me to have a nice day as you walk through the swinging doors of this place and let them slap me in the face at your back. None of you give a shit about me being stuck here day after day.”
“Cassie, you know that’s not true,” my mom frowned and yelled as she came to her feet. Nora said something similar and started toward me, but I held out a hand to ward her off.
“Really?” I said. “I thought that came out loud and clear when you all agreed I shouldn’t leave.”
“That is for your own protection,” Eric chimed in.
I glared at him. “Yeah, because I can’t take care of myself.” Sarcasm dripped from my words. “Maybe I should remind all of you I recently took on the devil in Hell, was tortured for months, and managed to survive it all. I won’t even mention I was the main reason Nergal is dead and the Sword is snuggled safely away here with the angels. Or better yet, why don’t I remind each of you of how I saved your ass?”
No one moved. Not one word was said. The silence became like thick fog in the room, and I was choking on it.
Shaking with rage, I regarded each of them in turn and saw the shock on their faces. I’d gone too far. But the darkness had consumed me so quickly, and I couldn’t think straight. I was seeing the faces of the closest people in my heart, but treating them as if they were my enemies.
What the hell was wrong with me? I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to take each one of them in my arms and hug them close like a protective blanket. I wanted to throw every one of them across the room.
Instead, I ran.
***
Slamming the door behind me, my breathing was heavy from running all the way to my quarters. I half expected Hunter to be there, but he wasn’t, and it hitched my adrenaline level another notch. As much as I wanted to throw myself on the bed and bawl my eyes out, I was too jacked up to lie down, or even sit, for that matter.
I paced the room, trying to get hold of my racing emotions. The expressions on the faces of my friends and family flashed in my head like a staccato light, one by one, haunting me, as the hat
ed words I had spewed at them echoed along with them. It wouldn’t have surprised me if each and every one of them told me to go back to Hell. Surely, I couldn’t blame them. I’d become this horrible, evil person even I would cast out. No apology could take everything I’d just said to them back. I wouldn’t know how to try and couldn’t even explain it to myself.
One thing was for sure—I was about to know how it felt to be completely alone. The thought was enough for me to finally throw myself on the sofa and let it all out, in a torrential downpour. My chest heaved as I cried into one of the throw pillows, only coming up occasionally to gasp for air.
Time escaped my conscious mind because I had no idea how long I continued on that way before I heard a timid knock at the door. At first I wasn’t even sure I’d heard it, so I held my breath to listen. I heard it again. It could have been the first or the hundredth knock, for all I knew.
At first, I thought about not answering it. It could only be one of the people I’d just said the most god-awful things to, and I didn’t know if I was ready to face that yet. The guilt got the better of me. Wiping my face with my hands, I went and opened the door.
Nora stood, studying me from the other side of the threshold. Even a blind man could tell I’d been bawling my eyes out. Tilting her head to the side, she said, “Hi,” in a very gentle tone of voice. I couldn’t stand to see the pity in her eyes. Not with what I had just done to her, to all of them.
I lowered my eyes to the floor and whispered, “Hi” back.
“Can I come in?”
I nodded and shuffled aside.
“Those were some pretty harsh words you dished out tonight,” she said as I closed the door and faced her.
She was standing next to the sofa, watching her own hand as she played with the fabric. I was glad she didn’t meet my gaze. At the moment, I had a handle on my own emotions, but one look from her could change that in a heartbeat.
“I know, and I’m sorry. I’ve—”
Angel Of Fate (Fate Series Book 3) Page 4
