by Lily Luchesi
“I am so sorry. More than you could ever know,” she said. The chair legs scraped as she stood and knelt at his bedside. She was in the moonlight now, and he could see she looked the same as she had in his dreams since she died. She even dressed the same. Usually his dreams made him see things skewed, but she was always the same. “I never meant to hurt you, Danny.”
He coughed. “I know. It’s not your fault. You didn’t give yourself garlic poisoning.”
She looked downwards for a moment. Taking his hand in hers she said, “Danny, you should realize that this isn’t a dream or a pre-death hallucination. You, of all people, who has the ability to know things others can’t, should be able to tell the difference.”
“What?” His head was fuzzy, and he needed to clear it. Whenever he dreamed, he knew it was a dream. Angelica had never strayed from the script in them, not like this.
“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I saw the path you and I were going down, Danny, and I couldn’t take it to see you living half a life. You deserved to be happy, to live a full life. You could never have done that with me, but you could with a mortal. I know your wife cared for you very deeply, and you needed normal. You needed human, the one thing I couldn’t be. You deserved someone who wasn’t tainted by darkness like I was.”
Danny felt like he couldn’t breathe. What was happening? This couldn’t be real.
“You’d have been in constant danger being by my side, after we found out who I am. The human consort to the vampire Empress,” she scoffed. “You would have been murdered before we’d been together a year unless you turned. I could not lose you so young…not again. I could not bear to watch you die when you had never really lived; never had the happy life so many humans work so hard to achieve.”
He heard every word, but how could he possibly believe this? She had been dead for nearly seventy years. There’s no way she was alive and saying all of this. No possible way…
“Helena,” he said. “If you’re not dead, how come Helena’s remnant left me alone?”
Angelica smirked. “I wondered that myself. And then Sean Wireman figured it out: the remnant was in your mind alone. You thought I was dead, so did she. So she crossed over.
“I watched you all these last few years. I know, that’s kinda creepy. I just had to make sure you were safe and happy. I watched you live, Danny, and that was the best gift I could have been given.” She pressed his hand to her cold lips, and the touch seemed to wake Danny up and make him realize that this was all one hundred percent real.
“My God…Angie…” He gripped her hand in his, and he knew she could feel his weakness. “How could you lie to me for all these years? How could you leave me alone? Do you know what I went through, thinking those ashes were yours? Having a fucking memorial? Looking at our original wedding picture and knowing I would never see that smile again?”
“Yes, and while I didn’t like the thought of your being miserable, I liked the thought of your being dead much less,” she said, her free hand coming to rest on his face. “Seeing you live, I knew I made the right decision, no matter how much it hurt me.”
“Hurt you?” Danny hated himself for crying, but was unable to stop. “Damnit, Angie, I have mourned you for decades! How could you?”
“Because I loved you then and I love you now. I needed to come and tell you the truth when I saw your end was near.”
“That’s why you came, then? To say goodbye and let me know you were alive? You tell me now, when I have no time left!” Danny came to the halting realization that, no matter how mad at Angie he was, he did not have the time to get over yet another one of her betrayals. He could never be with her again. His time on Earth was up, and it was up soon. He didn’t think he had even another hour to go.
“Partly,” she replied.
He was a little piqued that she wasn’t even a bit remorseful over his impending death and he told her so.
“Danny, despite the minute traces of vampire blood in your system, you are mortal. I came to terms with your death nearly two hundred years ago, when I lost you the first time.”
Wow. That was cold. He had no idea she could feel that way, but it had been seventy years. She had been a full vampire for that time, and it stood to reason that whatever humanity she had possessed when she was a vamplet was now long gone.
He turned away, hating himself for being disappointed in her. Anyone who could do what she had done to him was obviously a heartless person, to make him think she was dead. Not missing, not simply gone by a choice, but dead.
“How did you do it?” he asked.
She smiled ruefully. “I slipped a potion in your drink. It made you sleep till I had time to get out of there undetected.”
Danny was aghast. She had planned this all so meticulously, it was really quite cruel.
“I’m not as heartless as I sound,” she said, and he jumped.
“How did you…”
“I had your blood in me and I Claimed you. While I can’t read your mind because of your powers, I can sense the vague idea of your thoughts. A perk to my station, I suppose.” She stood up, looking out at the moon. “I let you live without me so you could be happy. And I did not come back to simply say goodbye.”
“Then why did you come back? Do you enjoy seeing my pain?” Danny asked.
She gave him a look that was so condescending, so human, and so genuinely Angie, his heart clenched. “Don’t talk like an asshole.”
“I wouldn’t if you’d just tell me why you decided to come back when I’m about to die if it wasn’t to see me one last time,” he said.
“Being the Empress has a lot of perks,” she said. “I learned a lot in that library we seized from Augustus. Ancestor’s journals. Hunter’s logs. All dating back to fourteen AD, that we could find. We’re still cataloguing it. One of those perks is that I can restore full health to those whom I turn. That includes turning them back to their prime age permanently.”
That got Danny to listen, and gave him even more questions. Just what was she suggesting?
“Another thing about my position: my blood is so old it is memory itself. No matter how much time passes, I won’t become like those other vampires. I won’t lose my humanity because my lineage traces back to humans. I won’t go cold, and neither will anyone I give my blood to.” She leaned over his bed, smiling. Just like he remembered her. “Neither will anyone who already has some of that ancient blood in their veins.”
He reached up, even though that simple movement hurt. “Angie…” She bent her head down and kissed him, taking care to be gentle as he was so fragile. “I’m still mad at you,” he mumbled when she pulled away and she laughed. “Thank you for coming to me. Thank you for making dying easier on me.”
She gave him another look that was so unique to her. It was a cross between love and “how stupid are you?”
“Danny, you don’t understand. I’m not here to tell you goodbye. I’m here to get you back.” She grasped both his hands in hers. “All you have to do is say yes, and we can have the future I always imagined for us. You see, I wanted you to be away from me so you could have a normal human life. Well, you did have one. A great one. Now you have a choice: you can have a human death to go along with that life…or you can have so much more. You can fulfill your legacy as the heir to the Emperor.”
His eyes widened. Was she really offering him…that?
“I know how you always felt about the paranormal world, and I understand if you say no. I just had to make the offer, to give you the option,” she said.
“You haven’t actually made me an offer yet,” he pointed out, and she playfully swatted at him.
“Always the smartass. I was never so happy as I am when I’m with you.” She looked down and smirked, her eyes starting to darken. “Tell me, Daniel Mancini, will you be my Emperor? Will you join me and take your rightful place at my side?”
Stubborn Danny still did have prejudices against the paranormal world. How could he not, given what he had
seen his whole life? He was also smart enough to know that there was much good in the paranormal community to offset the bad. He was also as selfish as he was stubborn, and he wanted Angie back. He didn’t want to die, not now that he knew she was alive.
Angelica, seeing his reluctance, thought it was because he didn’t want to be a vampire. “Danny, please. I have lived nearly three hundred years alone. I have preferred being alone. I never needed anyone and, if I am being completely honest, I still don’t. I want you. I love you. I sacrificed my happiness to give you a normal life, and now I am here and I am asking you, please, come with me.
“I can’t ever be with you as a mortal, but you can be with me as a vampire. Say yes.”
He smiled up at her, unable to ever recall feeling such love within him. “You didn’t have to make that speech, Angie, but I’m glad you did.” He struggled to sit up, but she had to help him. He was so weak, it was a little frightening to them both. “I was only at peace with dying because I thought I would see you again. Do you really think I can go now, knowing you’re still alive?”
“‘Alive’ might be a bit of a stretch,” she laughed. “So…yes? You’ll turn?”
“Yes, Angie, for crying out loud. You need to hurry. There isn’t much time left,” he warned.
The change in Angie was a bit surprising. Her eyes weren’t the typical vampire’s anymore. Instead, only the irises turned a glowing, bright red and her canines elongated. The other teeth did as well, but not as badly as they had before, when she had first been turned into a full vamp.
“This will hurt,” she told him.
“It will be worth it,” he said and leaned over to give her easier access to his neck.
He felt her cool breath, still smelling of blood, on his neck. She kissed his skin first, calming and exciting him at the same time. The kisses got harder, and finally he felt the sharp pain of her fangs burying themselves deep into his flesh and he groaned, his heartbeat quickening. He was so aware of every sensation; he could feel his blood move from his veins into her mouth. The pain was vicious, so white-hot it was hard to even think. He could only feel, as she pressed him to the mattress, her hands leaving bruises in his shoulders as she held him down.
He greyed out; for how long he didn’t know, but when he came to his senses he could taste the cool, thick blood of the Empress flowing into his mouth from her wrist. He drank greedily, feeling his body invigorating after every swallow. He felt…different. Stronger. Aware. Invincible. When he opened his eyes, he saw Angie healing her wrist. Her lips were stained red with his blood and she was grinning, her eyes shining darkly in the moonlight.
Everything was clear. Everything was vivid: from the moon to the noises on the streets outside, to the heartbeats of every employee in the building. He could hear and feel everything. The antibiotic smell of the ward hit his nostrils like an assault. He wasn’t weak anymore. It was as if his body didn’t know how to be weak. He moved to the edge of the bed, and nothing hurt. Not even the bite she’d given him. He looked down at his hands, which were no longer the gnarled, liver-spotted hands of an old man. He felt his head, and felt his hair; his beard. He was young again…young forever.
He stood up, glad he had requested to not wear a hospital Johnny. That would have been a bit embarrassing! He smiled, and he felt a quick, sharp pain in his mouth as his fangs sprouted, bringing blood with them.
“Don’t worry,” Angelica said. “That only happens the first time.” He could not ever recall seeing her this blissful. The joy in her eyes was so pure it was almost childlike.
He held his hand out to her and pulled her to him, kissing her properly, tasting his blood mingling with hers on their lips. “My Angie,” he whispered, clutching her to him as tight as he could, which was much tighter than he would have been able to a moment ago.
She buried her face in his neck, her arms nearly crushing him. “We have a lot of time to make up for.”
He moved and looked down into her eyes. She was crying. “We have an eternity to make up for it.” He kissed her again.
She moved and went to the window. “The paranormal world will be brought to a heel before the Emperor and Empress. We will finally have peace; peace for mortals and peace to be together…just as we were always meant to be.”
“And if they do not heel?” he asked her, putting his arm around her as they surveyed Chicago, their domain. Their empire.
She smirked, leaning her body into his. “Then we will make them. Together.”
FIN…?
(Turn the page for an exclusive sneak peek at Lily’s Paranormal Detectives spin-off novel, Never Again, coming to Vamptasy December 5th, 2017!)
(Please note that this is an edited first draft. Final version may differ from this.)
After Augustus killed my band and I lost my best friend, I was back to not knowing how to spend my days or what to do with myself, I spent a lot of time just wandering around the city. It seems I’ve spent such little time here ever since the band got popular. Nine months out of the year I’d be on tour. And I loved to tour. If I had the chance, I’d start another band immediately and go right back on the road. But I still missed being a part of Chicago. Yeah, we’ve got crime up the ass and our winters are deadly, but there’s something special about the place nonetheless. When Lyn and I split, she didn’t want to stay in Chicago, and I thought about following her to Nashville, which was where she wanted to move. It would have been more convenient.
I couldn’t. I spent a single night there and was just extremely homesick. So that was how we decided that we would just meet once a month. With my savings and her modeling career, we had the travel money.
Walking along Lake Michigan, I stood at the water’s edge and let the cold spray hit my face, smelling the water, the smog, the cigarette smoke even though you couldn’t smoke at the lake anymore. Beneath that was the food, the vendors walking around the lake, even though it was September and starting to get cold. No Indian Summer for us this year, I saw. I didn’t mind. Let autumn come early.
The leaves were already turning their array of reds, oranges, and yellows. They had yet to fall very much, making the city look striking and colorful. I decided to get back on my bike and go take a drive down River Road, heading into Rosemont. The thick foliage always improved my spirits.
It was hard to imagine what Danny was going through. He’d loved Angelica more than I, and her loss must be impacting him in the worst way. If I felt this hopeless, he must be in some Earthly version of Hell.
I’d lost my best friends, my career, and the woman I loved all within a single month. After having nearly twenty great years, I was right back where I was before I found the band and Angelica.
And lately, it seemed I was on edge even more. Was it just my mind, or was there something strange going on? Then again, it’s Chicago. There’s always something strange going on. Whether it’s always been this way here or if Angelica brought the weirdness with her in 1881, I don’t know. I’m betting on Angelica.
Smirking to myself at that thought, I heard someone say, “Excuse me?”
I turned to see a teenage girl wearing a hoodie two sizes too big and skinny jeans with unkempt hair staring at me.
“Yeah?”
“Sorry to bother you, but I’m a huge fan. Is there any chance I can get a selfie with you?” the girl asked.
I smiled. No reason to be mean to a fan. “Sure.”
She sidled up to me and held her phone out to take the photo. I’d never get used to smartphones, social media, or any of that. I tried it, wound up getting kicked right off. Evidently, the modern mortal world really doesn’t like blunt honesty.
As she angled the photo just right, I saw something behind us in the screen that made my entire body stiffen up. One of them. The Shimsakers. Somehow, I managed to keep a straight face for the two seconds needed to take the photo before the girl thanked me and walked off. I whipped around, looking at the open space where the Shimsaker was.
Nothing. Just a fe
w people. If that thing had been in the middle of Montrose Harbor, everyone would be either screaming and running or taking pictures to put on the Internet.
I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding and leaned back against the nearest tree, feeling the rough bark even through my clothes.
I’m going psycho, I thought, wiping sweat from my brow. Grief has put my brain in a mixer. I’d heard of that happening, of people actually going insane from trauma, be it war or death, or something else. I’d already been suicidal from the war. Adding Angelica’s death on top of what my mind had already repressed was just too much, I guess.
I was trembling all over, every nerve singing soprano and my knees nearly too weak to hold me upright on their own. I closed my eyes as the sunset began to make my head swim and tried to breathe evenly. My stomach felt like it was in a Cuisinart and I hoped I wouldn’t vomit. I knew the signs of a panic attack: I’d lived with them since the seventeenth century. Problem was, as I got older, they got worse and the tried and true ways of keeping them at bay didn’t always work.
I felt helpless, trapped in my own betraying body. My body and mind seemed to be plotting against me at once, and frustrated tears came to my eyes. I’m not ashamed to admit that I cry freely at times. Holding it in just makes things like depression worse. It’s always better to let it out, but I didn’t want to let it out in the middle of the city. In a place filled with weird folks, this would be over the top even for them.
However, riding a motorcycle while having a panic attack wasn’t exactly advisable. Hoping that my eyes would focus and my knees would work, I walked to a nearby bench and sat down, the hard, cold metal digging into my backside enough to ground me a bit.
The Shimsakers had haunted my reality and then my nightmares for long enough. It wasn’t fair that they’d keep doing this, keep invading my mind like they belonged there. Staring out into the water, I could easily see and hear and feel and smell everything that happened the day they first tried to get a Shimsaker to kill me.
