Or if not diminished, changed.
She shook her head, forcing herself to get back to work. She was at the dining hall again, working yet another shift. She'd even switched her time slot, hoping to catch a glimpse of him.
Oh yeah, she was definitely pathetic.
This weekend though, she was going out. Charisse had made her promise to hit some parties with her. She dreaded it but she'd already agreed in a moment of weakness.
She snorted. Who was she kidding? All of her moments were moments of weakness.
She would just have to grin and bear it. Besides, she owed Charisse. So she would go and try not to look too miserable.
It wouldn't be easy, but she was getting better at it. She could just pretend she was back in high school, though she'd never even gone to a keg party back home. Not one.
Just blend in. Hide in plain sight.
Be invisible.
Dylan
♒
He stared at the ceiling, willing himself to be still. The suite was full of women. Women who were hoping to be invited into his room in particular for some reason.
Not some reason. It was the lure of the quarterback. That and the fact that he was hard to get.
Every night it was the same. His suitemates had girls over, got drunk and hooked up with some of them. The girls made it more than obvious that they'd be happy to be with Dylan instead.
And he couldn't imagine being with anyone but her.
Kaylia.
The guys on the team had not been joking about the sheer number of women that made themselves available to him. He wasn't even tempted though. He knew it was impossible to replace Kaylia, to release her hold on him.
He couldn't be with her though. It was impossible. Dangerous.
So he ignored it.
Pushed it down.
Tonight he'd been drinking. That's when his guard was down. When he couldn't keep the thoughts of her at bay any longer. Lord knows, he was trying.
He'd do anything to block her out.
He was even thinking about dropping the class they had together. Like he'd been skipping the free meals at the athletic center. He didn't go at all, too afraid she would be there.
Afraid he wouldn't be able to stay away.
And last night, one of the football groupies had pushed him too far.
A blond girl who was becoming a regular in the suite. She'd offered him anything he wanted, in explicit terms. He'd laughed bitterly at the time and sneered.
"Be someone else."
The look of hurt on her face had been real. He'd been disgusted with himself. The girl was being disrespectful to herself, but she deserved better than that all the same. 'No, thank you' would have been better. He was a gentleman under normal circumstances.
Of course, these were anything but normal circumstances.
He was obsessed with a girl who shouldn't even exist. A girl with some sort of power over him. A girl who seemed to have unleashed something inside him that frightened him.
Something wild.
So he had to stay away.
The only time he thought of her was when he was alone. He'd let his lust rise and imagine she was there with him. He tried to ease the pressure again and again, night after night. Each time he thought of her. Each time, he envisioned taking her. He was not gentle. He was not sweet.
He was a raging animal with primal needs. And only one thing would soothe him. One person.
Her.
If he got drunk enough, if he came hard enough, maybe he could sleep deeply. Maybe he would not dream.
No. Not dream. He didn't dreamwalk anymore. Now every night he spent hours being torn apart and put back together as someone else.
Something else.
Dream was too nice a word for what had been happening lately. Lately he'd been having increasingly horrific nightmares. He was lucid for every torturous moment of the transformation that came over him. His bones lengthening, his skin changing, his mouth morphing forward into the shape of an animal's muzzle lined with viciously sharp teeth.
His keen awareness that only one person could help him. The one person who he'd chased away.
And he was too afraid to even look at her.
Chapter Eleven
Kaylia
♈
"Excuse me."
Kaylia scooted backwards as a group of girls moved past her down the hallway. They all seemed to move in packs, like wild dogs. Pedigreed dogs with diamond collars and chips embedded under their sleek fur.
Speaking of dogs... a group of guys in backward baseball caps seemed to trail after the girls. She overheard a few of the things they were saying. Mostly the word 'hot' and 'ass.' One of them said he wanted to 'git some.'
Ew.
So this was a frat party.
What the heck was she doing here?
Kaylia sighed, staring at the rows of blond girls that seemed to line the walls. She felt more out of place than ever. Apparently Charisse was thinking about joining a sorority, and this was an open invitational.
The girl who had greeted them at the door had explained it all, making it seem like they were lucky to be there. Usually it was Greeks only. Kaylia sipped her tepid beer and resisted the urge to roll her eyes.
'Open invitational' apparently meant bad beer and a vile punch that she wouldn't even get close to.
Charisse on the other hand seemed to be entirely in her element. She was smiling and laughing, making friends so quickly it made Kaylia's head spin. She knew this world and wanted to be part of it. Even if that meant dragging her roomie along with her.
She'd dressed Kaylia in a pair of stretch jeans that she said she couldn't fill out well enough. A ruffly silk top completed the look. The whole outfit was a gift, just cast off clothes that Charisse thought would look better on Kaylia. She said it like it was no big deal. As if designer clothes grew on trees.
Maybe in Charisse's world, they did.
To be honest Kaylia was not sure what to make of her roommate most of the time.
Charisse was superficial and overly concerned with fitting in, but she was also smart as a whip. She got good grades seemingly without trying. And she seemed to know everything about everything.
She was exceedingly generous with Kaylia, giving her clothes and unsolicited advice. Trying to draw her shy roommate out of her shell. Kaylia appreciated it. She knew Charisse meant well and had a big heart.
But Charisse was also part of this world, and Kaylia knew she would never be comfortable here. Everyone either stared at her or ignored her completely, as if she were a part of wallpaper.
Speaking of which...
Two frat guys who had been staring at her came over with a six pack of imported beer. One of them was cute, in that frat boy way. His friend was tall and thin and gawkish. The cute one wore a baseball cap, facing forward thankfully. She reminded herself not to judge people based on appearance. After all, she hated it when people did that to her.
"Hey, you look lonely over here all by yourself."
She raised an eyebrow.
"You mean out of place?"
They were staring at her like she was a bug on the wall. The cute one offered her a beer and she took it, removing the top herself. She wasn't stupid. Bottled beer was safer at a college party.
Everyone knew that.
Baseball cap guy looked a little dazed as he leaned against the wall.
"No, man. You're gorgeous."
The other guy nodded, still staring at her.
"Yeah man. Exotic."
Kaylia cringed. That was one of the subtly racist compliments she got all the time. 'Exotic' meant black. It also implied a sort of wild sexuality that she definitely did not have.
"I'm American. Not very exotic."
"Yeah. Cool."
He was an idiot but the cute one wasn't as stupid. Baseball cap guy elbowed him. Hard.
"Shut up Harry. You sound like an idiot."
He grinned at h
er, holding out his hand.
"I'm Luke. This is Harrison. Harrison, go get us some more beer."
Harrison did as he asked while Luke explained the frat hierarchy. Harrison was an underclassman. Luke was a senior. So he got to order him around.
Luke turned out to be smarter than he looked. Polite even. He sent Harrison to get a couple of folding chairs for them to sit in. He even took off his baseball cap, like a true gentleman.
Kaylia knew she was getting hit on. But he wasn't trying to get her drunk or drag her off to his room so she let it happen. Enjoyed it even.
Luke wasn't Dylan. But he was easier to talk to than she'd expected. And she was flattered by his obvious interest.
So when he offered her another beer she shrugged and said something she probably shouldn't have.
"Why not?"
Dylan
♈
Dylan sat at the kitchen table, eating his takeout wings and drinking a beer. He was always drinking lately. And eating. He seemed to burn through fuel twice as fast as before.
"Come on man, let's go out. My friend is having a party."
Dylan shrugged and pushed his food away, following Chuck out of their suite. He had been avoiding the main room every night since the incident with the blond girl. Tonight it was quiet though. Everyone had found someplace else to party thank God.
He didn't want to talk and he definitely did not want to deal with more skanks throwing themselves at him. He knew he was being unkind but he didn't care anymore.
He was disgusted by his teammate's frantic hook-ups. They seemed to act as if they earned points by having as much sex as humanly possible. He wanted to tell them that an endless string of meaningless sex would only get them an STD or a kid.
But tonight for some reason he went along anyway.
It was starting to rain as they walked through campus to the row of frat houses just beyond. Random dudes were not welcome at these parties, but as athletes, they were invited just about everywhere.
He stood outside the house with his beer, letting the water soak him.
"Your beer is getting watery."
A cute redhead was smiling at him, ignoring the fact that her top was getting wet.
Actually, maybe that was deliberate.
"Come inside silly."
He went inside the crowded house, ignoring the girl who was sticking to him like static cling. Nothing mattered. He was numb to it all.
Not until he saw her.
He stood there, dripping water all over the floor. She was here. Kaylia was here.
He'd been worried about her, thinking she was sad. Thinking she missed him. But no. She was at a fucking frat party.
Kaylia was sitting in a lawnchair on the landing halfway up the stairs. She was laughing at something a bro' with wavy blond hair was saying to her. The flirtatious look on her face was like a knife in his gut.
He knew, he knew that she had every right to move on. He'd ended things. But that was a rational voice. His other voice was much, much louder.
The voice that spoke in grunts and growls.
That voice wanted to tear this guy's throat out.
He was across the room and up the stairs in two shakes, staring down at them.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
She looked surprised to see him at first. Almost happy. Then her expression changed to one of hurt. In a split second, her face had shuttered.
Closed for business.
At least, for him.
He stepped closer, until his knees were practically touching hers.
"You don't belong here, Kaylia."
She wouldn't look at him. She looked embarrassed. She looked humiliated.
The imbecile next to her stood up.
"Hey man, back off. She's my guest."
He didn't recognize his own voice as he turned to face the guy. He was filled with visions of him touching her. Tasting her.
Fucking her.
"Who the fuck are you?"
The guy looked taken aback by Dylan's tone of voice. Then he stood up straighter like he thought he stood a chance. All frat boy swagger.
Oh boy did he have another thing coming.
"I'm Luke and I live here. Who the fuck are you?"
People were gathering around them, eager for a fight. Chuck tried to step between us but Dylan shouldered him away.
"Come on Dylan, it's not worth it. Plenty of fish in the sea, remember?"
"It? You mean 'her.' She's a fucking human being. And she's mine."
Chuck shut up when he saw the look on Dylan's face. He knew he was snarling. He had a very, very thin hold on his self-control. He had a feeling it was about to snap.
"Hey man, it's a free country. She can talk to whoever she wants to."
The idiot actually grinned at him. Like this was a game.
"And she wants to talk to me."
Even Kaylia tried to talk some sense into the guy.
"Luke, don't. I'll go. Okay, Dylan?"
Dylan ignored her. He was breathing heavily, trying to decide if he should throw the little pissant down the stairs or just choke him where he stood. He remembered the way Kaylia had smiled at Luke and the decision was made.
Choking. Definitely choking.
He reached out and grabbed Luke's throat, lifting him off his feet. People tried to pull him away but Dylan was too strong. He snarled at the surprised look on the frat boy's face as he clawed at Dylan's hand on his throat. Everyone was shouting at once. Chuck was screaming into his ear but he barely heard him.
"Come on man, you are going to get benched for fighting."
Even that didn't penetrate. Nothing did until he felt the soft hand on his shoulder. Until he heard her voice.
"Put him down Dylan."
Dylan did.
Chapter Twelve
Kaylia
☈
It was over in two seconds. Luke wasn't ever in any real danger. He'd simply rubbed his throat and walked away.
A few minutes more though... Luke might have ended up in the hospital. Or worse. Kaylia pushed the thought aside. Dylan wasn't like that. She knew him. He wouldn't hurt a fly.
Even as she thought the words she knew it was a lie.
The old Dylan would not have hurt a fly. The new Dylan was something else entirely. Brooding. Aggressive. Lost.
He was just... different.
Dylan's friend Chuck was smoothing things over so no charges would be pressed.
Kaylia was shocked by the violence that had come from Dylan in those few moments. He wasn't himself. And when he looked at her, he looked almost as surprised as she was.
Almost like he was afraid of his own strength.
He'd let go immediately. They'd stood there, staring at each other for a heartbeat. Then he sneered and grabbed her arm, pulling her down the stairs and out into the rain. Kaylia was running to keep up with him.
"Dylan-"
She tried to dig her heels in but it didn't even slow him.
"Dylan! Stop! You're pulling me too hard!"
She stumbled as he stopped abruptly, turning to face her.
"Is that your new boyfriend? Did you fuck him Kaylia? Did you?"
He held her shoulders, not quite shaking her. His touch was gentle somehow, despite the desperate anger in his face. She could have broken free easily. But she was too stunned to step away.
"No, I just met him. I swear."
"Don't lie to me! I've been going out of my head, and you just moved on. Admit it!"
"Nothing is going on Dylan! Not that it's any of your damn business."
His arms dropped. He looked for a minute like she'd slapped him. Then he stepped in, so close he was almost touching her. Kaylia could smell the alcohol on his breath as it fanned her face.
"But that's not really true is it Kaylia? You know that it is my business. Everything about you is my business."
He ran his fingertips over her wet
cheek.
"Whether either one of us wants it to be or not."
His fingers ran down to her chin. He gripped it hard, forcing her to look him in the eyes.
"Luckily for me, I'm happy to make you my business. Permanently."
He let go abruptly and turned, walking briskly through campus. She stood in the rain, staring after him. She felt frozen, shocked by his admission. He stopped and came back, taking her hand. He stared at her palm as he ran his thumb over the sensitive skin. He was such a contradictory combination of rough and tender. His voice was husky as he murmured to her.
"Come on, you need to get out of the rain. I don't want you to get sick."
She said nothing as she let him lead her back towards her dorm. He opened the door and she stepped inside, just out of the rain. He stayed outside, letting the water pour down his face. He looked so lost and alone to her in that moment, she had to stop herself from reaching out to him.
"What about you? Don't you have a big game coming up or something?"
He laughed, the sound surprisingly bitter. He held out his arms, letting the rain drench every inch of him. Then he tilted his head back and opened his mouth, drinking it in. He looked wild somehow.
Wild and untamed. Dangerous.
His blue eyes were practically glowing as he lowered his face, staring at her hard.
"Look at me. I don't get sick, Kaylia."
Then he stepped forward and kissed her mouth, hard and fast. She gasped at the suddeness of it. The heat.
And just like that, he was gone.
Dylan
☈
Running. He was running. He knew exactly where he was. The dunes near his family's house. The dunes that led to the water. He'd been here a hundred times.
A thousand.
But everything looked odd. The perspective was wrong. The angles of the earth and sky. It took him a while to figure out what it was. When he did, he was horrified.
He was too low to the ground, running like an animal on all fours.
Once he understood, he moved faster, his limbs eating the ground as they moved in tandem. It was so easy, like second nature to him. Even though he'd never done it before.
The Key (Heartfire) Page 6
