Things with Mike ran hot and cold and Maggie could never predict which Mike she’d get. He’d moved in with her a few months earlier and she still wasn’t used to sharing her space. Her mind drifted to thoughts of last Christmas when they’d had a huge blow-up. Mike had assumed they’d spend the holiday with his family on Long Island. When Maggie informed him that she would be hosting the Orphans and Misfits at her place as usual, things got particularly heated.
“You’re welcome to join us at my apartment, or you can go be with your family. You won’t hurt my feelings either way, but I won’t skip our regular Christmas,” she’d told him calmly.
“What am I supposed to tell my family?” he’d demanded.
“Tell them whatever you want. I’m sure they’ll understand.” They hadn’t, of course. As usual, they took her absence personally. He’d come back with stories of how they’d wanted to know why Maggie didn’t like them. And if Maggie was honest with herself, she didn’t like them much. They were loud and pushy and demanding.
Maybe it’s just that I’m not used to such a large family, she’d tried to tell herself. But she thought about the way Mike’s mother had greeted her when they’d first been introduced, the way she’d pawed Maggie and declared her hips to be too thin for child-bearing.
Standing in the shower she determined to wash away the negative feelings. It’s the weekend, she told herself. We’ll hang out a Murphy’s for a while, then make it an early night. Maybe we’ll hit the park for a picnic tomorrow.
She flipped on the television to the national news, turning up the volume so that she could hear it in the bedroom as she dressed following her shower. Leaning into the bathroom mirror to apply a quick coat of mascara, she heard a familiar voice. She padded out into the living room, mascara wand in hand, and watched Michael give his expert opinion of the latest trial that had captured media attention. She smiled unconsciously. He looks good, she thought. Her mind drifted to all those who’d had their lives disrupted when he’d left the firm in shambles. Still, she shook her head, this is the perfect job for him.
Half an hour later Maggie walked into Murphy’s. She’d texted Mike to say that she was on her way. As she entered the bar, she looked around but couldn’t find him. She was startled when an arm reached around her waist and pulled her back. “There she is,” Mike cooed into her ear. He placed light kisses down her neck. “I missed you.”
“Hi, babe, sorry to be late. Where is everyone?” she asked.
He motioned with his head. “We’re in the private room. We wanted space for all of us together.” Maggie frowned slightly. It seemed odd for Mike and the other cops to request the back room. Usually they just spread out over the whole place. She held his hand and followed him to the back.
As they entered the private party room, a cheer went up from those gathered. Maggie recognized many of Mike’s buddies and fellow cops. Then she saw Mike’s brothers with their wives and his sister with her husband, and finally his mom and dad. Her heart began to pound as she tried to comprehend what she saw but before all the pieces could come together, Mike was addressing the crowd.
“Alright, ladies and gentlemen. Friends. Assorted family.” He looked toward the back of the room. “And all you assholes over there.” Another cheer went up. “We’re gathered here today because I want to make an announcement.” He looked to Maggie and took her hand.
Maggie’s eyes widened. No, God, please don’t do this!
“I love this woman! I love you, Maggie. And that is why,” Mike dropped to one knee, “Maggie Flynn, love of my life, will you do me the honor of marrying me?” He pulled a black velvet box from his pocket and opened it, revealing a smooth yellow gold band with a small round diamond solitaire.
Maggie couldn’t breathe. She looked around at the crowd as they watched her silently. She looked back to Mike as his eyes pleaded with her to answer. Swallowing, she nodded and the crowd erupted in cheers. Mike took the ring out of the box and placed it on her finger.
All Maggie could think was, Holy shit!
Chapter 12
Maggie stared at the engagement ring on her hand. Since that night three months earlier when Mike had ambushed her in front of his friends and family, she’d been in a fog. There were times when she was sure she was doing the right thing. Mike was a good man and a hard worker, plus he was crazy about her. There were other times when doubt consumed her. Could she really stand beside him and promise him forever?
She considered the changes around her apartment since Mike had moved in. He wasn’t exactly particular about where his clothes landed when he took them off after work. Maggie was forever picking up dirty socks and undershirts, tossing them into the hamper while Mike stalked into the kitchen to grab a beer.
Their sex life hadn’t improved at all. If anything it had declined, as though now that Maggie had accepted his proposal, Mike didn’t need to try to impress her anymore.
The usual peaceful atmosphere of the apartment building was disrupted when he’d begun having regular poker nights, inviting the guys from work to their apartment a couple of times a month. Maggie tried to find something else to do on those nights. The noise level of Mike and his guests tended to increase in direct proportion to the amount of beer consumed as they played cards, drank, and smoked cigars.
On one particularly rowdy night, the apartment manager had knocked on the door to complain. “What are you going to do, call the cops?” Mike had growled. “We’re the cops.”
She’d gone to visit Casey a few weeks after the engagement, a trip that had already been planned. Sitting at Casey’s kitchen table she’d mentioned nothing about her reservations.
“So what is your time frame for the wedding?” Casey asked as she spooned strained plums into her seven-month old daughter’s waiting mouth. Three year old Caleb chattered nonsensically to his trucks as he drove them across the kitchen floor.
Maggie shrugged. “I’m not in a hurry to set a date. There’s a lot going on at work right now, you know, I’m thinking maybe we stay engaged for a while.”
Casey looked at her skeptically. “You don’t seem that excited about it. You do love Mike, right?”
“Of course I do.” Maggie rolled her eyes. “It’s just...” She looked up at Casey imploringly. “Are you happy, Casey?”
Casey gazed at Michaela who’d just dribbled plums down her chin, and at Caleb who was now patting her leg. “Mommy, mommy, mommy,” he whined.
“I haven’t had a solid night’s sleep in three years. I’m wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday. There’s spit-up on my shoulder. I don’t remember the last time John and I went out, just the two of us.” She grinned broadly. “I’m incredibly happy.”
“Yeah,” Maggie said quietly. A tear rolled down her cheek.
“Oh, sweetie,” Casey murmured, “it’s just nerves. If you really love Mike everything will be fine, you’ll see.”
Maggie nodded, wiping her cheek. “I’m sure you’re right.”
If I really love Mike. Maggie twisted the ring on her finger. If I really love him.
“Come on, baby, are we doing this thing or what?” Mike said, interrupting her thoughts.
Today was Rance and Jason’s wedding. She and Mike were taking the train to Connecticut where the wedding was being held on a small farm in the country.
Maggie was wearing her pink floral Betsey Johnson slip dress with the asymmetrical hemline. “I’m almost ready,” she said, fastening the moonstone bracelet around her wrist. She’d already put on the matching earrings. She never failed to think of Michael when she wore them. She hadn’t seen him in over a year, except, of course, on television.
“I can’t believe I’m going to this thing,” Mike muttered when she came out of the bedroom. He’d groused all week about going to a gay wedding. Maggie had had enough.
“Then don’t go,” she said simply. “Rance is my boss and he’s my friend. He and Jason have been together for years and they’re finally able to make it official. It’s the
happiest day of their lives and I will be there, with or without you. Stay home if you want, I’m going.”
“Lighten up, Maggie,” Mike said. “Nobody said I didn’t want to go. Sheesh!”
***
Michael arrived fashionably late and found a place to stand behind the rows of white chairs trucked in for the occasion. With a seasoned eye he scanned the friends and family gathered there, smiling when he spied her red hair shimmering in the sun. Always sticks out in a crowd.
It was a sparkling June afternoon, the sky crystal blue. The ceremony took place in front of a vintage red barn, field flowers surrounding the seating area that hosted about a hundred guests. When the minister pronounced Rance and Jason married, the crowd clapped and cheered.
Guests were invited to make their way to the reception tent while the wedding party posed for pictures. “I gotta find the can,” Mike told Maggie and he left her standing by their seats. Maggie watched as Rance and John smiled for the camera.
“You’re looking great, Mags.”
She whirled around to see Michael standing in the aisle beside her, grinning mischievously. “Michael!” she exclaimed. “How are you?”
“Not bad,” he said, giving her a light hug and a peck on the cheek. “It’s a nice day for a wedding.”
“It’s absolutely beautiful. I never imagined you’d be here,” she said breathlessly. “I can’t even believe...”
He shrugged. “I got an invitation and I was in town, so...here I am.”
She smiled at him. “I’ve seen you on television. You do really well.”
Michael grinned. “It beats working for a living,” he said.
Just then Mike returned from the restroom. He glanced at Michael and protectively put his hand on the small of Maggie’s back. Maggie cleared her throat. “Mike, this is Michael. Michael, meet Mike. My fiancé.”
Mike reached out a meaty hand. “How ya doing?”
Michael looked mildly surprised as he shook Mike’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Baby, let’s go eat,” Mike said.
“You go find our table. I’ll be there in a minute,” Maggie said.
Mike looked pointedly at Michael then back to Maggie. “Okay, but don’t leave me hanging,” he said. “Nice meeting you,” he told Michael, and headed off in the direction of the tent.
“Your...fiancé,” Michael said.
“Yes, Michael, my fiancé,” Maggie huffed. “Is it so hard to believe that someone would want to marry me?”
He shook his head, “No, I didn’t mean that at all...”
“Honestly, Michael, sometimes you can be so...”
“Calm down, Mags, I didn’t mean...I’m just surprised, that’s all. I hadn’t heard.” He gazed at her and reached up to lightly finger her left earring. “Congratulations. I wish you every happiness. You have that coming.” His smile didn’t match the sad glint in his eyes as he briefly gripped her elbow and walked away.
Mike was quiet throughout dinner and on the train ride home. Maggie sensed the tension and waited anxiously for the shoe to drop. They entered the apartment in icy silence.
Finally, she couldn’t stand it. “What’s going on, Mike? You’ve hardly said two words since the wedding.”
He whirled to face her. “What’s going on, she asks. You want to know what’s going on? Who’s Michael?” His voice was loud with accusation.
“You know who Michael is. I used to work for him before I worked for Rance. You’ve seen him on the news.”
“Nah, don’t be wise with me. You know what I’m asking.”
“I have no idea what you’re asking,” Maggie challenged. “You need to make it perfectly clear what you’re asking.”
“You dated that guy,” Mike said confidently.
Maggie shook her head. “I never dated Michael. We worked together.”
“Unh-uh. I know what I saw. Are you forgetting what I do for a living? I get the truth out of people.” Mike began to pace angrily. “That’s why you didn’t want me to come today. You knew he would be there.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I had no idea Michael would be there today,” Maggie countered.
“I saw the look on your face. Hell, the look on his face. You slept with that guy. Are you in love with him?”
“No, I am not in love with Michael. We never dated.”
Mike arched his eyebrow suspiciously. “Okay,” Maggie conceded. “We slept together. Once. And that was years ago. Are we seriously going to go through everyone either of us slept with before we met each other?”
“I knew it!” Mike shouted. “I knew you were lying to me.” He shook his head disgustedly.
“Wait a minute. I didn’t lie to you. Michael and I never dated. I’m not in love with him, haven’t been for a long time.”
“Right. But it’s ironic to me that you wait around to get married until you find a guy named Mike. Does that seem ironic to you, Maggie?” he ranted.
She shook her head. “That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. Michael is Michael, you are Mike. You can’t honestly believe that I’m with you because your name is Mike.”
“I don’t know what I believe anymore, baby. I mean, I knew you were damaged goods...”
“Whoa!” She held up both hands like a shield. “You knew I was what?! Damaged goods? What the fuck does that mean?” Maggie demanded.
“Damaged goods! Damaged goods! You know exactly what that means. I knew when we met that you slept around, but I decided to overlook that because I loved you!” he shouted.
Eyes wide, Maggie shook her head. “You are out of your mind,” she said softly.
“I mean seriously,” Mike continued, “do you remember the first time we went out? Who but a whore sleeps with a guy she just met?”
Maggie stared at Mike as he paced back and forth in the kitchen. In slow motion, she twisted the engagement ring off her finger and placed it on the counter. “I’m going to Casey’s,” she said calmly.
Frustrated, Mike ran his fingers through his hair. “Baby, I’m sorry, don’t be like this. When I saw you with that guy I just went a little crazy, that’s all. I didn’t really mean all that shit.”
“When I get back on Monday, you should be gone.” Her tone was flat.
“Oh, yeah?” Mike shouted at her back. “If you walk out of here, baby, there will be no second chance!”
Maggie didn’t pause in the doorway and she never looked back.
Chapter 13
Maggie called Casey from the train. “I’m on my way. I hope you don’t mind, I just needed to get away,” she said quietly.
“Don’t worry about a thing,” Casey told her. “John can stay with the kids, I’ll pick you up.”
On the drive from the train station, Casey watched Maggie out of the corner of her eye. Maggie stared straight ahead and said little. Casey noticed that she didn’t have any bags other than her purse. She also noticed that the engagement ring was missing.
When they arrived at Casey and John’s, Casey offered her dinner or something to drink. Maggie shook her head. “I’m so tired,” she said. “I just want to go to sleep.”
Casey hugged Maggie tightly. “Well, the guest room is all yours. Sweetie, I don’t know what’s going on, and you don’t have to talk about it until you’re ready. But you know I love you, and we’re here for you, both John and I.”
Maggie wiped a tear from her cheek. “Thanks,” she choked. In the guest room, Maggie shed the slip dress she was still wearing from the wedding and slid into bed. She was asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.
Sunday morning, Casey did what she could to keep the children quiet but she needn’t have bothered. Maggie slept without waking until 5:15 that afternoon. While she slept, Casey crept into the guest room and left a pair of jeans and a top for Maggie to wear when she awakened.
When Maggie woke up she felt disoriented. It took a moment for the pieces to fall into place. I’ve left Mike. Finding the clothes Casey left for her, she took a bri
ef shower, dressed quickly, and pulled her hair into a pony tail. She padded out to the kitchen where John was feeding the baby and Casey was stirring a pot of chili.
“She lives,” John said, laughing lightly.
Maggie smiled sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to sleep all day. I’m sorry to be such a rotten house guest.”
“No worries, doll,” Casey said. “If you slept that long, you needed it. After dinner, you and I are going out for a little girls’ night.”
A few hours later, over craft beers at a nearby bar, Casey looked at Maggie intently. “Okay, girlfriend, now spill. What the hell is going on?”
Maggie stalled, sipping her beer. “I, um, broke off the engagement.”
“I assumed as much. Tell me the part I don’t know.”
Maggie sighed and shook her head. “I don’t love Mike. I never did. We’d never even talked about getting married, then he shocked me by proposing out of nowhere in front of his friends and family. I didn’t know what to do, I just panicked and said yes. I figured that we could sort it out later.”
Maggie looked down at her beer. Casey waited patiently for her to continue. “But then I started thinking, maybe this won’t be so bad, he’s a nice enough guy, we could make this work.” Maggie looked back up to Casey. “I mean, it’s not like I’ve had hordes of guys wanting to marry me. I started to think maybe this was my only shot.”
“Maggie, you can’t be serious,” Casey said quietly.
“I know, it was stupid, but at the time...” Maggie trailed off. “It just all became very clear to me yesterday that I couldn’t go through with it. Truthfully, he’s not very nice. He comes from this huge Italian family and he has these weird ideas about women. Like, as a guy, he’s expected to fuck around but he wants to marry a virgin.”
“What?” Casey exclaimed.
“Yesterday was Rance and Jason’s wedding. First of all, Mike was an ass the whole time about going to a gay wedding. I finally told him he should stay home if it bothered him that much, but he ended up going. Then,” Maggie looked up, “it turns out that Michael was at the wedding.”
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