by Rachel Red
When we reached the rooms, he surprised me by picking me up and carrying me over the threshold, making me giggle, despite my nerves. And when he put me down, I actually gasped. His rooms were nothing short of magnificent. The foyer opened into an enormous vaulted-ceiling living room illuminated with dozens of electric gold sconces encrusted with jewels. Plush, cream-colored rugs carpeted the floor and matched several overstuffed chairs and long couches. A floor-to-ceiling mural of abstract designs in precious stones and gold leaf spanned the length one entire stone wall. One side of the room opened up into a large dining room with a crystal chandelier hanging above a glossy, polished table.
I smiled at Victor, my nerves easing a bit. "Everything's so beautiful."
He gave me a tour of several other rooms, tracing slow circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. My anxiety continued to fade. And by the time we reached his bedroom, I decided to just come right out and tell him my concerns about our wedding night. I asked him if I could talk to him about something, and he said of course, and lit several candles on the dresser, filling the room with soft light. We sat down on the edge of the four-poster bed, and he took my hands.
"You can talk to me about anything. Always."
"Even something... kind of embarrassing?"
"Anything."
"Okay, well...." I took a deep breath. "I guess I'll just come right out and say it. I'm not very, um... I'm not very sexually experienced. And I don't mean I'm a virgin, but I'm definitely... I'm definitely on the very low end of the experience scale. And I'm just worried that...." I took another deep breath, fighting to maintain eye contact with Victor. "I'm worried that I won't... please you."
His expression became one of complete tenderness, his dark brows angling upward. "Sweet Kate. Please, please don't worry about that. You're my wife; you're beautiful; and I've... I've fallen completely in love with you. How could you not please me?"
"But there are things...." I swallowed, heat rising to my face. "There are things that I'm just... completely unfamiliar with. There are things I'm really uncertain about whether I can even figure out how to do them."
Just for starters, I'd never actually touched, stroked, or held a man's member. My ex-boyfriend had just gotten right into things the two times we'd been together.
Victor squeezed my hands. "Anything and everything you're uncertain about, we'll work through together. We won't rush things; I promise."
I nodded. "Okay." I gave him a little smile, and he gave me one back.
"I promise."
Completely reassured, I suddenly wanted him to kiss me, and not briefly, either. Seeming to read my mind, he leaned in and brushed my lips with his own, moving his hands to cradle my face.
It wasn't long before our kissing intensified. Victor pulled me up to stand and unzipped my dress. It fell to the floor, and I stepped out of it, along with my shoes.
He surveyed my body, naked except for lacy underwear and a strapless bra, in the candlelight. "Absolutely gorgeous."
My face flushed even a little warmer than it had a couple of minutes earlier. And my pulse sped up to a rate I knew was well above normal.
Victor pulled me close, gently tipped my head back, and began kissing me again. Slowly, he moved his hands from the small of my back to my bottom and cupped each of my full cheeks, pressing me against him. He was already hard, and not just hard, but what felt like granite-hard. And I could tell just from the feel of his hardness against the soft curve of my belly that he was very large. I made a soft noise of pleasure, the area between my thighs tingling. With a low growl, Victor slid his hands inside my lacy underwear and began caressing my bare rear while continuing to kiss me. The noise of pleasure I made this time was a definite moan.
But suddenly, to my extreme dismay, he removed his hands and stepped back from me, his breathing ragged. "No. We have to stop, right now. We can't make love."
CHAPTER SIX
"We can't make love, Kate. I'm sorry."
I looked at Victor in the candlelight, unable to even respond for a moment. "But... why?"
Wincing, he went over to the dresser, got some clothes out, and headed over to the door. "Let's get changed and ready for bed. You can take the master bathroom, and I'll take the other. Then we'll talk."
I nodded, absolutely baffled. "Okay."
Without saying anything else, he left. Moving mechanically, I went over to the dresser, located drawers containing my own clothes, and got pajamas out. Staff members had unpacked all my things earlier that day.
In the master bathroom, I took the diamond pins out of my hair, used the restroom, dressed, brushed my teeth, and washed my face. All the while wondering if I'd done something wrong. I left the bathroom, blew out the candles on the dresser, and climbed into Victor's large comfortable bed, alone, because he wasn't there yet. But within a minute or so, he climbed in next to me in the dark. He didn't speak right away.
"I'm so sorry for cutting things off so... abruptly like that. I'm sorrier than you can imagine."
"But why did you? Did I do something wrong?"
"No. No. Not at all. Not even remotely. You could never."
"Then, why?"
He took a deep breath. "I just think we shouldn't rush things. I think we should just take our time. Continue to get to know each other better. After all, why should we have to rush? We're married; we have all the time in the world. And this way, I think it'll be even better once things...." He cleared his throat. "Progress."
I supposed he was right. Everything he'd said did make sense.
"Okay. We can take our time. And you're right; it'll probably be even better this way. But... just swear to me. Swear to me that this has nothing to do with anything I might have done wrong."
"You did nothing wrong. Nothing. And in fact... exactly the opposite. I swear that on my life."
Satisfied, I said okay. And then I stifled a yawn. It had been a long day.
Victor rolled over and gave me a quick kiss. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
To my disappointment, he rolled over again, away from me. I'd kind of been hoping he might throw an arm around me and hold me while we slept. But I figured maybe he was just as exhausted as I was starting to feel, and maybe he was the type of person who slept better not curled up with anyone. But just for the future, just for the next hundred-something years I was now going to spend with him as his wife, I really hoped this wasn't the case.
Resolving to stop thinking about everything until morning, I shut my eyes and soon fell asleep. But it wasn't a deep sleep. And I awoke several times during the night. Each time, I listened to Victor's breathing, having a feeling he was awake, too, and wanting to snuggle up against him. But each time, I decided not to, just on the chance that he wasn't actually awake and the movement would wake him up.
When I woke up for the final time, it was a little past seven. And Victor was gone. But after I'd rolled out of bed and turned on the light, I saw that near my pillow lay a cluster of pink flowers tied with a white ribbon. A note, folded in half, sat propped up against them. I picked it up and read it, smiling.
Kate,
I hope you have a day even a fraction as beautiful as you are.
Love, Victor
He wrote with bold, heavy script. It was very masculine handwriting. It reminded me of him. I kissed the note and tucked it under my pillow. And then I got back into bed for a little while and dozed, curled up with the part of the blanket that still held Victor's scent.
I didn't see him at all that day. Julia showed me around to all the different parts of Stonebrook that we hadn't had time to tour the day I'd arrived. People greeted me as Lady Kate. While having lunch with Julia and Elizabeth in Julia and Sam's rooms, they both teased me, asking things like did I happen to be unusually tired. I laughed a little and said yes, because I actually kind of was, though not because of the reason they were thinking of. I didn't feel like sharing that I was tired because I'd slept poorly after not making love with my husband on
our wedding night.
But later, when it was just Julia and I in the hot springs, I came clean. Mostly because she'd noticed that I'd been somewhat quiet that day, and she kept asking me if anything was wrong. And honestly, I also felt a little need to unburden myself to a friend.
After I'd spilled the previous night's events to her, she looked thoughtful for a short while before speaking. "I guess that all makes sense. And maybe Victor's on to something. When Sam and I got married, even though I loved him from the moment we took our vows, things did happen really quickly physically, and... I don't know. Even though everything physically was good from the beginning... really, really good, actually, maybe it was slightly... I don't know. Overwhelming? Maybe. And not that I have any big regrets at all, really, but I guess if I could change one tiny thing, maybe I would have waited an extra day or two. Just a little extra time getting to know each other first. Just a little extra time to let the anticipation build. And that's probably just what Victor's thinking."
I sank a little deeper into the warm water, realizing she was right. No harm in letting a little anticipation build. No harm in getting to know each other a little better first. A weight seemed to lift from my heart. I felt happier than I had all day.
And that happiness only grew when Julia and I ran into Sam on our way back from the hot springs and he said that he and Victor had just returned from a scouting trip a few miles north of the mountains. A few Oppressors had been spotted by Keeper scouts the day before; two had been spotted in a wooded area and one had been seen in the clouds. Oppressor sorcerers had the ability to fly.
Sam grinned. "Nothing we can't handle, though. They all but ran from us today. Didn't even try any spells."
Soon, after making plans to meet up with Julia again the next day, I dashed down the hallway to my rooms, eager to see Victor and spend time with him. And judging by the smile he gave me when I walked in the door, he was eager to spend time with me, too.
I cooked dinner for us in our spacious kitchen, wanting to impress him with my cooking skills. After we'd sat down at the dining room table, he took a bite of the chicken dish I'd made and declared it phenomenal. And he looked like he genuinely meant it. My heart soared.
During the meal, I asked him different things about the Oppressors, and he told me a little about the scouting expedition that day, and what he and his men had to do on a regular basis to ensure that Oppressor scouts never reached the mountains.
"I want to keep Stonebrook a place of absolute safety. Especially now that you're here."
We lingered over dinner, talking more and even having a few laughs about different things later on. Afterward, Victor insisted on cleaning up the table and doing the dishes.
I frowned. "Well, thank you but... that doesn't seem exactly right. You're a lord. I'll just do them."
He came over to me and took me in his arms, his charcoal eyes twinkling. "You're forgetting something. I may be a lord, but you're a lady. And you should be treated like one every minute of every day. No doing dishes for you. Ever. And I mean that."
I fought a smile. "And if you come home one day to find I've washed a plate, you'll do what?"
The corners of his mouth twitched with amusement.
"Feed you to the Oppressors, of course. One sweet...." He bent his head and gave me a kiss. "Luscious...." He gave me another kiss. "Morsel at a time."
I giggled, and he kissed me again, this one becoming a little deeper. I wrapped my arms around his strong shoulders and pressed the front of my body against his. With a growl rumbling in his chest, he parted my lips and began kissing me even more intensely.
But then he broke the kiss abruptly, and released me. "Why don't you take a nice long bubble bath. I'll clean up."
Disappointed once again, I did take a long bubble bath, even though I'd been in the hot springs for at least an hour that day. I tried to read a book while I soaked, but I couldn't really get into it.
Once I'd toweled off and dressed in pajamas, I got into bed with the lights off, waiting for Victor. I ended up waiting a long time. I started thinking that maybe he wanted me to fall asleep before he came in. And if that was his plan, I played right into it. Because I did fall asleep. Alone.
In the morning, he was gone when I awoke, and again, I didn't see him all day. He wasn't even home in time for dinner. But then again, neither were Sam and several others of Victor's right-hand men. The Oppressors were causing more trouble.
Julia and I ate dinner at her place. I got into bed around ten that night, crabby. I'd nearly fallen asleep when Victor finally came home and quietly got into bed beside me, his back turned. I opened my eyes in the dark and stared out at nothing for quite a while before finally beginning to drift off again.
The next couple of days went by very similarly. Victor had a cavern converted into an art studio for me, like he'd said he would, but I didn't feel very much like painting. Julia, Elizabeth, and I began having long daily picnics outside, always with a Keeper nearby who constantly surveyed the sky, watching for Oppressors, but I really didn't enjoy the outings much, even though it was spring, and the weather was lovely.
Every day, Julia assured me that Victor probably still just wanted to take things really slow and that things would heat up and get better very soon. I tried to make myself believe her, but it was starting to seem less like Victor wanted to take things slow with me, and more like he was wanting to straight up avoid me. Even if he and his men were busy keeping the Oppressors under control.
A couple more days went by. Julia's reassurances became weaker and weaker, and finally she admitted she really couldn't figure out what could possibly be going on with Victor.
And by the first day of the second week since the wedding, I was feeling very frustrated, and in more ways than one. I made a decision. When Victor returned to our rooms that evening, I was waiting for him in the living room. I didn't even say hello.
"I'm going back to Haverbrook. And you can get this sham of a marriage annulled if you like, or not; I really don't care either way. But I'm going home. And you can't stop me."
CHAPTER SEVEN
Victor came over to me in the living room, frowning. "Kate, please. I'm very sorry. Let's talk."
I folded my arms across my chest. "Nothing to talk about. I've been thinking about this whole situation all day, and think I get it now. I think I understand everything crystal clear. You were hoping for a more sexually experienced woman. And when I told you that I wasn't, you were disappointed, even though you hid it. And now you just don't know what to do with me. Now, you don't want anything to do with me."
"Kate, I-"
"Oh, and I have another theory. And maybe the first one's still true, but this is just another part of it. I think you saw me on our wedding night, when I was wearing nothing but a bra and underwear, and I think you...." I paused, my voice suddenly getting wobbly. "I think you just didn't find my body attractive. I think it just didn't do it for you."
I blinked back a little moisture in my eyes.
Victor put his hands on my shoulders, his expression one of misery. "Please. Let's talk. I'm begging you."
I didn't respond, folding my arms across my chest even tighter, and he gently guided me to sit on the couch, taking a seat next to me.
"Please. Will you let me ask you a question?"
I sniffed, my eyes still watery. "I guess."
"All right, then. The question is this. Did anything you just said really ring true to you? Do you really believe in your heart that your theories are correct?"
I didn't answer. Because honestly, I didn't believe in my heart that my theories were correct. But I couldn't think of any other reason why Victor had been avoiding me.
He lifted my chin to make me look at him. "Do you really believe that your theories are true? Do they feel true?"
Suddenly angry again, I pulled my chin away. "Well, I'm not sure. But if you're so certain that they're not true, why don't you tell me the real reason that you...." My voice began cr
acking again. "That you won't... make love to me."
Victor cringed. "You're a thousand percent right. I do owe you an explanation, and I'm so sorry and ashamed that I've hurt you."
"Then tell it. Tell me your explanation."
"All right. When I told you on our wedding night that your sexual inexperience didn't bother me, I meant it. And in fact, it... it actually rather excites me. It excites me to think how I might...." He paused, his face reddening just slightly. "Introduce you to some things. It excites me...." He swallowed, clenching his strong jaw. "Tremendously. And you couldn't be any more wrong in your thinking that I don't find your body attractive. You're just... you're galaxies beyond wrong. I can't even look at your body from across the room without becoming...." He swallowed again. "Incredibly aroused. Just from looking at you."
I was slowly starting to become convinced. Or at least slowly starting to entertain the idea of becoming convinced.
"So why won't you make love to me, then? Why have you been avoiding me?"
Victor took a deep breath. "Well... I'm not sure exactly what you may or may not have heard about this, but... shifter dragons possess greatly increased appetites. Appetites for... for relations."
I thought how that made it even weirder that he hadn't made love to me yet. But I didn't say it, eager to hear what he had to say next.
"These appetites can be satisfied, of course, but it's not long before the appetite returns. It returns in much shorter length of time than for a human man. And as all the women in Stonebrook are married, and as I've obviously taken many, many years in my choosing of a wife, because I was waiting for a girl I knew I could love with all my heart for the rest of my life, because I was waiting for you, well... I'm sure you can imagine the level of sexual frustration I've had to live with for a very, very, very long time. But actually, I take that back, and I'm unrepentant about this. You can't imagine the level of sexual frustration I've had to live with. I'm sorry, but you can't. All I can say is... my level of sexual frustration has been profound. And that's not nearly even a strong enough word. But unfortunately, no word strong enough exists. Kate, the reason I haven't made love to you is because I'm afraid. And this is me, who has a reputation for not being afraid of anything. But it's true. I'm afraid. When you told me on our wedding night that you're inexperienced, I began to worry about the...." He paused, swallowing. "The intensity of my passion. I began to worry that this intensity would overwhelm you, and even trouble you or frighten you, and push you away. I became afraid that I could lose you. And I still am. And I know I should have come out with this sooner, but... I guess I've been somewhat embarrassed. I pride myself on being strong and in control at all times, and here I am, afraid that I may lose control to the extent that I might scare my own wife and drive her away."
