by Adira August
Who would ever do that for her again?
He’d gone back to his newspaper. He seemed unconcerned. But it had been an order. He’d said it in a way that was unmistakable. So, he was assuming she’d obey him. It wasn’t an order about sex, though. It was about getting coffee and sitting down at the table with him. He’d ordered her to do mundane things.
Avia’s sexual tension drained away. She wanted coffee. She wanted him to not be gone. She longed to sit at the table with him.
She wanted to let go of everything and never make another decision.
They were on the terrace, that last night before everything went bad ...
“I’m a fucking billionaire businessman, Avia. The decisions I make that no one can take off my plate involve millions of dollars and affect thousands of people. You think I want to find the time to concern myself with the minutiae of your everyday life?”
He moved away from her, waiting for an answer. But she was quiet. Pale. Waiting.
“If you did want that, need it, I probably wouldn’t be involved with you in the first place. But if I were—if I had somehow gotten to this point, allowed myself to care for you as much as I do—if you were my submissive and did need that, it would be my absolute pleasure to find the time.”
Avia moved to her kitchen counter and fixed her coffee. She took the mug to the table and sat across from him. He turned another page as if she didn’t exist.
She sipped her coffee. Last night she’d been overwhelmed by her own emotions. She’d fallen to the floor when her knees gave out. He was there, with her. She couldn’t remember, but he must have taken her into the bedroom and slept with her.
He’d stayed with her. Cared for her. He wasn’t going to make a speech and walk out now.
“I can’t remember the last time I read a newspaper,” he said. He folded the paper and put it aside, revealing something that made her heart stutter: a familiar black velvet necklace box with "Weiss Jewelers ~ 1862" in gold thread on top.
“You and I are strong-minded, strong-willed people. It took something extreme to crack those foundations. One thing piled on another very quickly. We both know now what happened to us. We both know now what happened to the other. That’s the past.”
He opened the necklace box. In it was the collar she’d worn for a day and then taken off to face the kidnappers on her own terms. It was a simple platinum choker made of two links. One was a double horizontal ess curve, representing the Native American symbol for “river.” The other was a stylized version of a deer track. A male red deer was a hart.
The collar was two words repeated: RiverHart. It was her safeword. She and Ben together were her refuge and hope.
The box also held the tiny platinum padlock to fix the collar around her neck and the fine chain with a small key that Ben had worn.
“I offered this to you inappropriately. You removed it. All of that is also part of the past. It’s time to be in the moment.”
He turned his chair to face the room and pointed between his feet.
BEN HART KNEW Avia didn’t have a lot of decisions left in her. But this part he couldn’t do for her. She only had to decide to accept what she wanted. He knew that could be the toughest decision of all.
He didn’t let her see his relief when she rose and dropped to her knees in front of him.
“Don’t sit back. Head up. Keep your eyes on me.”
She straightened and watched wide-eyed when he picked up the collar and leaned over to fit it around her neck. He fed the shank of the padlock through two of the chain links and snapped it closed with a small click. But he didn’t move it around so the short lengths of chain hung down the back of her neck.
“Sit back and pay attention.” She lowered herself onto her heels. “Good. When you researched your erotica story, did you learn what TPE is?”
She nodded, her turquoise eyes even wider. “Total Power Exchange.”
“What does that mean?” he asked, noting that her pupils were large and dark.
“You … own me?”
“It means you make no decisions whatsoever. None. You take no actions without permission. Your life is under my control as well as your body. You do what I say when I say with no hesitation. I’ll instruct, order, question, use you for sex. I will punish you when I deem it necessary. Including nonsexual punishment. I impose restrictions, permit you freedoms. My control and your acceptance is absolute. Do you understand?”
She shook her head.
“Explain,” he said.
“No limits? No safewords?”
“No limits whatsoever. About anything. Your safeword is in place for moments when you are in distress.”
She looked troubled.
“Go ahead,” he told her, knowing she had something to say.
“Triggers. I need to know you know what my triggers are. Because”—tears welled—“the castle is one of them.”
“When did this happen?” It didn’t make sense to him. Avia had seemed more than at home everywhere on his property.
“When you started leaving me alone there.”
“I see. Is there anything else?”
“News or images of violence. Big things moving fast. Too many things to name.”
“Part of giving up control, of making no decisions for yourself, is allowing your fear and anxiety to show. You can use your safeword when you feel unsafe. For any reason.”
“I can?” There was a subtle note of hope in her voice.
“You will submit unconditionally, sub,” he said sternly. “You will absolutely use your safeword when you are in emotional distress. You will not ignore your own feelings. You will tell me when I ask so I can take care of you. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Straighten up,” he told her and picked up the chain. “Hold out your hand.” He lowered the chain with the key into a glittering silver-white pile on her palm.
“You have one last decision to make. Use that key to unlock the collar, or put it around my neck, accepting TPE.”
AVIA’S KNEES DIDN’T hurt, though there was an ache growing in the small of her back. Ben sat calmly in front of her, waiting for her decision.
She didn’t feel hurried. She didn’t feel afraid or torn or sad or frightened. She felt safe and at peace. She wanted to relish this moment. This moment when she wasn’t alone with a future she didn’t give a shit about. This moment when the billionaire businessman who was just the beautiful man she loved declared his readiness to devote himself to her. This moment of not being alone, anymore.
She didn’t know what the future held, but she didn’t have to care. Not right now. She was pretty sure she was going to care someday. Everyone said it: we get better.
“One thing,” she said.
He nodded.
“I’m not just afraid of being alone because I’m afraid of things reminding me of the attack.”
“I know.”
“You do?”
He shook his head. “You still don’t believe I know you. You’re afraid I’ll leave you because you’re too much trouble. You will as of this moment entirely abandon the idea that you can ever be too much trouble to me. Believe me, Avia, you are going to be exactly as much trouble as I want you to be.”
She knew what she wanted was everything he had offered her. She knew to get that, to get what she wanted, she’d have to listen to her mother. She rolled her eyes at the thought and smiled.
Ben raised an eyebrow.
She raised the chain.
He leaned toward her so she could reach. She kissed him and placed it around his neck, straightening it so the key rested in the center of his broad chest.
Their eyes locked for a few moments.
I’ll take good care of you.
I know.
Ben stood and placed a hand firmly on the top of her head. “Wood!” he called sharply. The door opened immediately, and Woodward stepped inside, closing the door behind himself.
Avia jerked, but Ben’s h
and pressed. He was doing her a favor. She was dressed in her old pjs, her hair uncombed, kneeling at Ben’s feet. Her instinct had been to jump up and run to her bedroom. But she no longer had the freedom to act on her feelings.
Ben had anticipated her and saved her from punishment. And taught her more about what she must accept in TPE than any verbal explanation: It wasn’t that her will was subject to his; it was that she had none. Her will was his will.
His hand left her. “Have a seat at the table. Hands on top of your thighs.”
She complied.
“From this point on, you will never be alone, except for the bathroom,” he said. “It’s eight-forty-five. At ten a.m. a car will pick me up to take me to the airport. I fly to Macau at noon. Wood will stand in for me.”
She didn’t react. She knew what it was to be “staffed” when Ben was out of town. A security person would drive her and stand by if she needed anything.
“Anything he decides, tells you to do, forbids you to do—treat as if it comes from me,” Ben went on. “He’ll be with you twenty-four seven. While he stands in, you will call him ‘Mr. Woodward’ to acknowledge your submission to him, and he’ll call you ‘Avia’ to demonstrate his dominance over you.”
Avia’s eyes grew wider with every word he spoke. He couldn’t possibly mean-
“No comment includes expressions,” Ben said.
She straightened her face. Woodward remained impassive, listening.
“You’ll do nothing without his permission. He will keep me informed. If you deserve punishment, he will administer it.”
Avia’s eyes flew to Wood and back to Ben who had turned to Woodward. “Make your first stop a store where Avia will purchase more modest panties than she presently owns. Punishment is to be administered over them.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Avia, fetch your blue hairbrush.”
She got up and took the few steps to the bathroom in a daze. The large oval brush, flat on the back with four narrow strips of openings, sat on a shelf over the sink. It was the brush she’d once told Ben she fantasized him spanking her with. He never had.
She picked it up with numb fingers.
Forcing herself to return to the men, Avia managed to control her breathing, but the flush of humiliation burned her cheeks.
“Put it on the table,” Ben told her.
She complied.
“Avia will have the hairbrush with her at all times,” Ben told Woodward. “Use it if called for. It wouldn’t be appropriate to spank her with your bare hand. And she’ll lift her own skirt at your command.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Remember, Avia, in public Mr. Woodward’s orders might be couched in the form of suggestions or reminders. They are not. In public, if you need to use the bathroom, you ask if it’s ‘a good time for a break’. But you always ask. He has the right to say no. Just as I do.”
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
“Also, Wood is doing you a big favor. Being lead on an international business trip is a high-status assignment in his profession. Babysitting the boss’ girlfriend is one of the lowest.”
He waited expectantly.
Avia turned to the security man. “Thank you for standing in for Ben, Mr. Woodward.”
“You’re welcome, Avia.”
“One last thing,” Ben said, moving near her. “Wood will be with you at all times except for the bathroom, so you can dress and so forth. But you are not allowed to lock the door. You will never try to limit my access to you or my stand-in’s access.
“‘At all times’ means he’ll sleep in the same room. You don’t know him well. To relieve any anxiety you might have, I’m going to ask him for a further favor.” Ben looked over. “Mr. Woodward?”
Avia understood immediately that Ben used the formal address as a sign of his respect for the security man.
“I’m asexual, Ms. Rivers. I have no prurient interest in anyone. You need have no fear I’ll molest you. Or take pleasure in a moment of immodest dress. It happens in a close assignment.”
Avia swallowed her response and looked at Ben who nodded permission.
“Thank you, it’s kind of you to tell me.”
“And before Wood leaves us,” Ben said, “I’ll tell you that you are to stop dwelling on the past, stop thinking about the events, stop analyzing every move and decision and action. That can be difficult to do. You will also experience anxiety about our separation, about my welfare. Wood will help. You will tell him when you need distraction. He has a very singular talent. Wood?”
“I can solve a Rubik’s cube in less than fifteen seconds,” he told her.
“N-” Avia stopped herself with a glance at Ben and dropped her eyes.
“Good catch,” he told her. “Watch.”
Woodward took a scrambled puzzle cube from his pocket. Every side was a multicolored checkerboard of nine squares.
Ben used his cell’s timer app. “Go!”
Woodward’s fingers flipped the cube around so fast Avia only saw a blur.
“Done.”
Avia couldn’t help grinning in her amazement. Every one of the six faces was now a solid block of color.
She’d been given one of the puzzles at the office as a Secret Santa gift one year. After scrambling it only a little, she’d been totally frustrated trying to return it to its original condition. It had taken up immediate residence at the back of her bottom file drawer.
“Here,” he said, holding out a new cube still in its box. “Wood solved his cube in eleven seconds.” Ben showed her his cell. “I’ll expect you to solve this one without a cheat sheet when you join me in Hawaii on Monday.”
Her chin dropped. He lifted it with an index finger. “You can take as much time as you need. But failure, sub, is not an option. That’s all for now.”
He let go. “Clear the table and tidy the kitchen.”
He noted the outrage that flashed across her face. He narrowed his eyes, but a corner of his mouth twitched. He wouldn’t mind an excuse to spank her before he left. Not that he needed one. But if she gave him an excuse, she’d experience the action/reaction so she’d be prepared if Wood disciplined her.
But she got control of her expression, set the cube on the table and collected their coffee mugs.
“Wood, grab my garment bag from the bathroom, please. And you can wait in the car. It’ll be more comfortable.”
“Yes, sir. I’ll be a minute.”
“No problem,” Ben said, understanding Wood needed to relieve himself while he was in there. Ben checked the time. He still had forty minutes.
She was drying her hands at the sink when he came up behind her and pinned her against his body with his arms wrapped firmly around her. She relaxed back against him.
“I have you. I will always have you.” Ben dropped his head and rubbed the side of his face against her hair and ear and cheek. “I hate leaving you, now. I wouldn’t if lives weren’t at stake. But know this: I will not take a trip again where you don’t come with me. You will be with me, always. If I’m in some meeting you cannot come into, Wood will stay with you as close to the meeting as possible.”
He sucked at her neck. She moaned and leaned into his mouth against her skin. He was marking her. She’d see the sign of him on her skin and so would everyone else. They might not know her choker was more than a necklace; but they would know a man had claimed her.
So would she.
He heard the toilet flush. His hands slid under her top and cupped her full breasts, fingers and thumb finding her nippples. They tightened immediately at his touch, giving him purchase. He heard the water start in the bathroom sink.
His hands kneaded. His fingers pinched and rolled. A high whine deep in her throat meant she couldn’t fight the arousal he so deftly generated.
“Open your legs.”
She moaned and spread. He let go, put his hands on her hips.
“Take off your top.” The water went off in the bathroom. She stiffened.
“But-”
He bent her so swiftly over the counter, she didn’t have time to draw breath. His arm swung high, he slapped her very hard across the buttocks through her pants and backhanded her ass from the opposite direction.
Her yelp was cut off when he jerked her upright and ripped the top up and off. It caught on her chin. He yanked harder until it came free and threw it on the floor.
The bathroom door opened. Ben had his arms around her again, his back to the short hall, Avia facing away. His hands were on her breasts, fingers on her nipples. Her gasp was not quite a sob.
“Thank you, Wood,” Ben said as the security man came into view over his shoulder, carrying the garment bag. Wood couldn’t see his fingers still working her tight peaks.
“I’ll be in the car, Mr. Hart.”
He let go of her. “Pull your pants down to your knees,” he said loudly enough that Avia would know Woodward heard him give her the order.
She slid them down. The sound of the front door closing reached them.
“Go to the side of the table with no chair. Stand there.” He moved aside so she could get past him.
She shuffle turned, trying to keep her legs spread so the pants didn’t drop to the floor. He followed her slow progress, enjoying the view of her heart-shaped ass squirming, reddening patches on either side. Her neck and shoulders glowed pink, as he knew her face must also be.
He felt the low tightening and tingling that would reach his cock in short order. Avia’s humiliation response was strong and sexually fueled. He had to trigger that response as deeply as he could to work her past the sexual connection.
She reached the front of the table and faced it.
“Keep those pants up, sub,” he told her, taking a slow stroll around her. “Loose arms.”
Her feet scootched apart even more, the waist of the flannel pants stretched very tight just below her knees.
He stopped behind her. Her feet were the perfect distance apart, opening her cheeks slightly, her dark valley widening. Running the backs of his fingers gently over the red marks, feeling a little heat, seeing the quiver of her flesh, made him harden and rise against the stricture of his elastic briefs. But he didn’t adjust himself.
