Ironically, after lingering a year in Austin, hoping to mend her broken marriage, she now wished she never had to see Eric again.
Someone knocked on her door the next morning, and Savanna went to peek through the window. Jason stood outside with flowers.
Her thin nightgown was pink and lacy, but she didn’t want to make him wait while she changed. She cracked the front door and motioned him in. Wearing jean shorts and a brown T-shirt, he held out the large bouquet of several different flowers.
Her throat tightened. Maybe he’d been holding back on principle, to be a gentleman.
After kissing her cheek, his eyes dropped down to her nightgown. The impulse came and went to somehow hide from his look, but a vixen awoke in her and wanted to tease him until he couldn’t think straight. His gaze roamed slowly all over her before he cleared his throat. “Oh, no. I got you out of bed.”
Now she let herself smile a little. “No, I just haven’t gotten around to a shower yet.”
He handed her the flowers and said, “I don’t know what you like, so I ordered a bunch of different ones.”
“They’re beautiful.” She had to smell them, of course, all the while smiling because his eyes stayed on her nightgown.
“It turns out flowers have meaning. The yellow roses are for friendship.”
Dread churned up at that, but he was smiling as he continued.
“The lilies represent the spark you’ve put in my life. Baby’s breath is for the patterns in our lives that interweave, and the red roses are for what we have.”
What we have?
She pushed her gaping mouth closed and swallowed to stop her tears. Turning, she went in the kitchen, unable to face him. She wouldn’t have guessed a man would think about love before getting intimate. Jason was no ordinary man, in many ways. In many good ways. She admired him but also wanted to break that reserve.
She fiddled with the flowers for a minute while she collected herself. Then she called, “Thank you.”
She arranged them in a vase, touching each and thinking about what he said. Hearing him walk into the kitchen, she wiped her eyes and was able to smile when she looked at him.
Her voice wasn’t all the way there, so she whispered, “This is really sweet.”
“I wanted to tell you thank you for all your help,” he said, stepping behind her so he could wrap his arms around her. His chest felt so solid and strong when she leaned back against him. “It took me hours to come up with all that, so I hope you like it.”
“Very much.” With a happy sigh, she relaxed against his chest, resting her arms on his that were still around her. She smelled his Stetson cologne mixed with the rich, floral scents.
He went straight for the sweet spot, laying his lips over the sensitive area under her ear. As she laughed, she couldn’t help but wiggle against him. Her laughing faded into quiet awareness when she felt the evidence of his excitement behind her. Ache and longing spiked up through her.
“I think I should explain something,” he said in a low, quiet voice by her ear.
“Hmm?”
“I’ve been holding back . . . because I don’t want us to give too much too soon.”
She’d already given her heart.
Whoa. Her own thought started her.
And did he think she would hurt him? His heart thudded against her back. She bet hers was beating hard as well.
“Are you okay with that? With not rushing things?”
She nodded thoughtfully, weighing what it meant.
“I want to treat you as special as you are.”
Completed melted inside and blank on what to say, Savanna nodded again. He squeezed her tighter and they gently rocked.
After a quiet minute passed, he asked her, “Come sit down with me.”
“Are you feeling all right?” She knew he wanted to talk more, but she wasn’t sure she could handle it. Maybe she could sidestep it this time around.
“Yeah, I’m recovering. I sure feel better than I did a week ago.” He pulled her close on the couch. There was a pause, like he was choosing his words. “I’ll be fine this weekend if you want to get out of here and go do something.”
She didn’t like these signs. First, he admitted he wasn’t ready to be intimate, and now he wanted her to leave him alone.
She tried to hide her nervousness while saying, “To tell the truth, I think I want to sit at home for a change.” She wasn’t sure she could handle not seeing him over the weekend. “I was hoping you’d lounge around with me.”
“That would make any guy’s day,” he said and planted a kiss on her cheek. “I’m in.”
She held her breath for a minute, debating, and then asked, “Would you rather have time by yourself? Is that what you’re after?” Man, she couldn’t leave it alone.
“Oh, no, babe. I just don’t want to be selfish and take all your time.”
She rolled her head to smile up at him. “Okay, just checking.” She detected a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. This thing between them had different ground rules than the usual boy meets girl, and maybe he wasn’t steady on his feet either. She ignored the rejection she felt and tried to enjoy her time with him.
They stuck to their plan, watching TV, ordering in, playing with Aubrey, and then making out during Aubrey’s two naps that day. During lunch, Savanna accidentally dripped ketchup on her thigh. Without thinking about it, she reached to wipe it with a napkin when Jason gently caught her wrist. Before she could react, he leaned over and sucked the ketchup off her bare skin. Not just any skin, either, but her thigh. His eyes were burning with desire when he glanced up at her. She almost thought if her daughter weren’t there, he’d pull her onto the table and rip her clothes off. Okay, maybe that was a fantasy that she replayed several times, in several different ways. By evening, her body ached all the way through for him, but he was a gentleman.
She didn’t want a gentleman, though, and she didn’t want him to leave that night. She showed him by hanging onto him as they kissed goodbye.
“I should go back to my own place.” His voice was quiet. She tried not to pout when she met his eyes. He added, “I have to leave if I’m going to behave myself.”
“All right.” With their earlier conversation in her mind, she squeezed him once more and let go. He walked back, watching her, and gave a smile and wave before stepping out the door.
Bright light flooded in through the windows in the morning, waking Savanna and letting her know the clouds were gone. Man, she wanted to wake up with Jason. While she rolled around, trying to sleep for half the night, it occurred to her that he was scared of them, of the whole family and responsibility thing. That had to be it. She couldn’t fault him for taking things slowly.
She was feeding Aubrey breakfast when Jason came over.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
Her “Good morning” turned into a murmur against his lips. Aubrey finished eating and left to go play, so they sat close together at the table.
“I want to show you something, if you’ll come on a drive with me.”
Aubrey peeked into the room to ask, “Car, Gase?”
“Yeah, want to go for a ride?” he asked. She stepped into the room, and Savanna saw that Aubrey had already pulled her jacket down.
“That’s a go.” They grabbed their jackets and headed out. Even though he could probably drive with just his right leg, Jason hadn’t replaced his jeep yet. Savanna secretly hoped he got another jeep but didn’t want to bring up the accident or anything related.
She drove and followed his directions. As they drove through a residential area, she asked, “Are we going to a friend’s house?” She had no clue what he had in mind, and he seemed to like it that way.
He grinned. “You’ll see. Turn right here.”
The street had two nice houses on their left, and it ended in a cul-de-sac with a field behind it, and the river was beyond that. She looked at him as she turned the car around at the end.
“Want to pull o
ver here?” he asked.
“Okay. So what are we looking at?” She turned the car off when he unbuckled. “The river?” she asked. The field had a giant willow tree on the end by the houses, making it a private space.
Jason got out and she followed, unbuckling her daughter who was eyeing all that empty playing room. The breeze whistled softly through the grass, making Savanna want to lie down and stare at the sky and watch clouds go by.
He spoke at last. “This is my dream house.”
She glanced at the houses while he watched her, but then she realized he meant the field behind him. “Oh.”
“I want to build here. Isn’t it perfect?”
She had to agree. It had the space, the view, and the location at the end of the road. “It’s absolutely beautiful.”
There were questions in her mind, but she kept them there. He went ahead and answered them without her asking.
“I bought this a month before Mike died. So I haven’t gone ahead with my plans…”
She was sure he would when he was ready. They walked to the edge of the field and watched the river roll by with his arm around her back. Aubrey might have picked up on the mood since she actually stood still to look at the scenery with them.
Savanna liked the peaceful river music and smell. It meant something that he’d shared this place, his dream, with her, but she told her thumping heart to knock it off. She didn’t want to think about the possibilities.
It was the perfect moment to say, I have something I need to share with you too, and tell him about her nightmare going on with Eric. Except Jason had shared something wonderful and special while her news was depressing and scary.
“You should go see Cassie today,” he said then. She looked at him and saw the pleading in his eyes. It reminded her about the night she sat in that rocking chair in Cassie’s empty nursery and vowed she’d do her part to fix all this. It was time she did.
“Holy cow,” Cassie said when she opened her front door for Savanna an hour later.
“What?”
“What’s all the color on your face for?” They walked to Savanna’s car as they talked.
“Too much makeup?”
“No.” Cassie’s slow answer and suspicious look made Savanna feel guilty. She’d tell Cassie all about Jason if she could, if Cassie would want to hear about it.
She could tell Cassie knew anyway. They dropped it right there and then, but Cassie snuck several more sideways looks while she drove.
Please don’t ask, not straight out. Things were heating up with Jason, though slowly, and Savanna would be lying if she told Cassie there wasn’t anything there. She wouldn’t say Jason was playing games, but he did have a lot to deal with. The flowers were a good sign, but then he pushed her to spend time with Cassie.
“Shopping? The park?” Savanna suggested. A movie would be perfect, since they could avoid conversation, but that didn’t work with Aubrey.
“Shopping, I guess.” Cassie didn’t sound excited. “It’s exercise, right?”
“Yup, and good for the soul!” Savanna wanted to cheer them both up, although Cassie probably needed it more. She needed distracted from all the sticky issues that crept around in her mind. At one point in the mall, she thought she spotted her ex mother-in-law, Georgia. Good grief, all her old problems were mixing with her new ones. It looked like Cassie’s own demons were distracting her, too.
After two hours in the mall, they went outside to the playground and let Aubrey loose. Sitting off to the side, Cassie looked lost in her thoughts, while Savanna kept close to her daughter.
“Cassie?” Savanna sat beside her, feeling her heart thumping wildly.
Cassie’s eyes grew sharp and focused on her.
“You never touch Aubrey,” she said as gently as she could, not wanting the hurt and anger she felt to come through in her voice. “Maybe you’ve been distant because you’re hurting . . . and I understand why. I just keep thinking about it and wanted to say something.”
Cassie’s eyes widened as she looked over at Aubrey playing on the playground.
“I don’t?” She looked shocked. “I’m sorry.” Cassie turned back to her, remorse in her light brown eyes. “I guess I’ve been so sad about . . . about how I wanted my own baby.”
“I know, and I hurt for you, so I didn’t want to say anything about. It’s just that I feel like a gap is growing between us.”
“I didn’t mean it.” Cassie’s earnestness reached down deep in Savanna, reminding her all of the high school heartaches they’d seen each other through. Thick and thin, they had always said.
“I didn’t think you did.” She should have talked to Cassie about it sooner. “But we’re supposed to be helping each other. I don’t want you to have to deal with that alone.”
“Thanks,” Cassie said. “I’m not sure how to deal with some things. I can sit around and cry and think about how it isn’t fair, but I don’t want to wallow in this hurt forever, either.”
Savanna laid an arm around Cassie’s shoulders. She understood to some extent. It wouldn’t be right to say she knew how Cassie felt, not really.
They pretended things weren’t so bad when Savanna got Aubrey, and they walked out to the parking lot.
“I think I need to get home and start getting my house in order.” Cassie said in the car. “I’ve let things go, and I need to reorganize some stuff.”
Imagining what that meant, Savanna didn’t want her to be alone. “Want company?”
“No. I’m sorry. I think I want some quiet.”
“Okay,” she said, although she didn’t feel good about it. Hadn’t Cassie had plenty of quiet? She’d talked about helping each other today, but apparently Cassie didn’t apply that to everything.
Monday morning, Jason slammed around the house because Savanna wasn’t there with him. He knew he couldn’t have all her time, but it didn’t make him feel better.
He wanted to do some of the cleaning so Savanna wouldn’t be working so hard whenever she came over. It was his mess, after all.
Someone knocked and his heart rate jumped, but then he knew it wasn’t Savanna. She usually came right in after knocking. He laughed as he thought he should let her walk in on him in his boxers one of these days if Aubrey wasn’t with her.
His shoulders fell when he looked through the peephole and saw Rachael.
This was the last thing he wanted. Only pure curiosity got him to open the door.
“Hi, Jason.” Her eyeliner was on thick and her perfume heavy.
“Rachael,” he responded coolly. “What’s up?”
“I came here to ask you that. Are you doing okay?”
“Yeah.” She stood there, so he slowly backed up. “Come on in.”
“You don’t look too bad. I heard your jeep was totaled.”
That sure made him feel better. She sat down, although he didn’t offer.
“Why are you here?” They had hardly spoken since she gave him that ultimatum. That felt like a lifetime ago, and one that he didn’t care about.
“I’m worried about you, Jason.”
“Everyone is.” That didn’t mean he wanted it, though. Especially from her. Boy, she didn’t show this much concern when they were dating. Anger made his jaw feel tight as he thought about asking her why she cheated on him.
“I feel bad about how you and I ended.”
“Yes, but we’re over, Rachael. I appreciate your visit, but I don’t need your help.”
“It looks like you do.”
She just wouldn’t leave. “Tell me who got you pregnant when we were dating,” he dared. Her head shook like a cold blast of wind hit her. When a minute passed without an answer, he added, “If you can’t be honest with me, we can’t be friends.”
“Jason, I don’t want to be just friends. I need you. I didn’t want to break up.” She had genuine pain showing in her eyes. He didn’t like her, but he had a hard time being an ass to anyone.
This wasn’t good. He didn’t want her here,
but he was curious about what had happened. “Then what the hell was that all about?”
She dropped her gaze. “I can’t talk about it yet. I want to know if you’ll give me a second chance.”
“Sorry. It’s too little, too late.” He could be decent, but he wasn’t going to play her games. Guilt swept through him for letting Rachael even come in.
She stood. “You moved on that fast, huh?”
“It wasn’t fast.” He went to the door and opened it, wishing he didn’t have to look so ridiculous with the crutches. Muttering, she grabbed her purse and marched out.
As he started to shut the door, he caught sight of a tall woman with gray hair in a loose bun. She had a long, willowing form but she somehow reminded him of Savanna. So did the curls hanging loosely around her face.
This was not good, not good at all. His guilt turned to worry.
As he watched, she went inside Savanna’s door. So she must have a key, but Jason decided to investigate in case she wasn’t Savanna’s mother.
Her car still ran, and she came out just a minute later with a diaper bag.
“Ms. Thompson?” he asked.
“Oh! Hello.” She clutched the diaper bag to her chest, startled.
“Sorry about scaring you. I saw someone go in Savanna’s place. I’m Jason Lancaster.” He propped his crutch under his arm and held out a hand.
She shook his hand warmly while keeping her eyes on his face. “Call me Margaret. I’ll feel like I’m teaching if you call me Ms. Thompson.”
“Margaret, it’s nice to meet you. Savanna says so many wonderful things about you.”
“Really?”
“All the time.” Why would that surprise her?
Her shoulders softened, and he realized how stiffly she’d been holding herself. He glanced in the car where Aubrey sat, waving at him. In the quiet minute, they heard her exclaim, “Gase!”
He waved to the smiling cutie and asked Margaret, “No daycare today?”
License to Love: Holiday Box Set (Contemporary Romance) Page 56
