Okay. Wow. If she’d meant to shock me, she certainly achieved her goal. I frowned as I sipped my coffee. To be honest, I hadn’t thought Jamie knew all that much about my … kink. Sure, she knew I went to clubs, and she knew I was into BDSM, but I hadn’t been aware that she knew of my desire to hurt people.
“And I’m not being judgmental, Zeke,” she clarified. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your sadistic side.”
“Is that the psychologist speaking? Or my sister?”
“Both,” she said with a grin. “And yes, I’ve wondered what makes you tick. Why you get pleasure from … doing what you do.”
At least she was mindful of the others around us. Not everyone was okay with hearing that someone wanted to beat on someone else. I’d had people accuse me of being abusive but that wasn’t the case. I didn’t go around hitting people for the hell of it. And I never hit someone out of anger. Never.
“But I’m even more curious as to why someone would need it from you.” There wasn’t any accusation in her tone or her gaze. “Are people born that way? Or does their past mold them, make them desire it?”
I took another sip of my coffee. “Couldn’t say. I don’t have the desire to be hit.”
“Nor do I,” she said with a grin. “Although, I wouldn’t mind being spanked.”
“Okay.” I set my coffee cup on the table. “That’s TMI, my dear sister. Please don’t sit here and tell me that shit.”
Jamie laughed and I suspected she enjoyed getting a rise out of me. “Fine. I won’t tell you. But have you ever wondered about the masochists you play with? What drives them? Why they need what they need?”
“No.” And I wasn’t about to start now.
“Liar.” She giggled again and took a sip of her juice. “You might want everyone else to believe you’re a hard-core badass, but I know you, Zeke. I know that you have a soft, mushy center.”
I frowned. “Now you’re just being a brat.” It was time to change the subject. “Have you talked to Edge?”
Her face flushed. “Yes. I have.”
“And…?”
“And what? If we’re not going to talk about your kinks, we’re certainly not gonna talk about mine.”
I didn’t want to believe my sister had kinks, but I didn’t say as much. Thank God the waitress opted to bring our food because the mere thought of Jamie and Edge together … yeah, I’d rather dig into my own psyche than think about that shit.
I got the feeling today wasn’t going to be a good day.
*
“What do you think of the three we’ve talked to already?” I asked Ben as we sat at the conference room table after having spent an hour talking to one of the many interviewees scheduled for today.
“I don’t think Mark’s going to be what we’re looking for,” Ben explained. “As for the last two, I don’t see any major issues. You?”
“Mark’s out of contention,” I replied as I set that resume aside before glancing over Lance Douglas’s. “I’m worried Lance needs more handholding than I’m willing to give.”
“Good point,” Ben conceded. “I can see that.” His eyes dropped to the copy of the kid’s resume. “He’s got quite the education, but not a lot of experience in the corporate world. Could require some molding to get where we need him to be.”
This was the part I hated about hiring people. It wasn’t necessarily the interviews, more so narrowing it down to who would be the right fit. You picked the wrong person and you were stuck with them, perhaps indefinitely. After all, you couldn’t necessarily fire them for being a whiny asshole, especially if they were good at their job. I’d done my fair share of hiring over the years and it all boiled down to who was capable of excelling without needing someone there to walk them through every step. Training was one thing, being their mother was something else.
“Thoughts on Heather?” I prompted. “I think she’s got what it takes.”
“Agree. She lacks a lot of experience, but she’s got quite the attention to detail.”
The conference room door opened and Justin strolled in. “Any luck?”
“A couple of possibilities,” I told him. “I’m willing to call Heather and offer her the job if you’re both in agreement. Mark’s off the list but I’ll keep Lance in the running. This afternoon’s applicants will be here shortly. We’ve got Chris Cavanaugh, the guy Edge referred, coming in at three.”
Justin peered over at Ben, who nodded his agreement.
“Good,” Justin stated. “Then I’m going to borrow my pup here for a little while.”
I smirked. “I’ll meet you back here in forty-five minutes?”
“I’ll make sure he returns in one piece,” Justin promised.
“As long as he can walk,” I added with a chuckle.
Justin grinned from ear to ear. “Walk, yes. Sit down? Well, that’s to be determined.”
The two men left the conference room and I sat there staring at the resumes on the table although I wasn’t really seeing them. My mind was on the two masochists who had successfully pissed me off to no end.
I’d made the cowboy and the pretty boy stay home today. In fact, I’d kept my distance from them since my scene with Brax and the fucking machine yesterday afternoon.
I still couldn’t believe I’d kissed him. Not that I was opposed to kissing, but like aftercare, it gave a submissive the wrong impression. The worst part was I had enjoyed it immensely. It had been a damn long time since I’d slowed down enough to find that little bit of intimacy. Four years, to be exact. I hadn’t kissed a man in four fucking years. And while I told him it meant nothing, I knew better. If it didn’t mean anything, I wouldn’t have thought about it endlessly since.
But I refused to give in to them. In fact, I was considering kicking them to the curb tonight when I got home. I didn’t need this fucking hassle. I enjoyed what we had going on, but evidently, they were both seeing more than there was. Which surprised me considering the short time we’d been together.
The cowboy being jealous of the pretty boy spending time with me was a big red flag. I wasn’t going to spend my time drawing up a timeline so that I fucked them equally. That wasn’t how I operated. If they wanted that shit, they could find some baby Dom who wanted to smack them around a little and cuddle them after. They’d said they understood what this was, but I was beginning to doubt that.
“Zeke Lautner daydreamin’. Never thought I’d see the day.”
I peered up at Langston as he stepped into the conference room. “Shouldn’t you be working?”
“Takin’ a break, actually. Landon’s got Luci in his office. I was givin’ them a little private time. All that yellin’ was distractin’ me, so I opted to come up here.”
“Yelling? Landon or Luci?”
Langston chuckled. “This time it was Luci. From what I gather, the little brat put salt in Landon’s coffee this mornin’.”
“Ah. She’s graduated to being a brat, eh?”
“Looks that way. We’re gonna take her to the club tonight. String her up and show her the error of her ways.”
“So, you reward her for her insubordination?”
“She’s not like your boys,” Langston said. “She doesn’t particularly care for the pain.”
“Fuck toys,” I corrected.
Langston nodded slightly. “My apologies. Your fuck toys,” he corrected. “How are they, anyway?”
I shrugged and stared out the window. “I’m thinking it’s time to cut them loose.”
“Yeah? They do somethin’ wrong?”
“They’re getting too attached.”
“Translated to mean you’re tired of them,” Langston stated, his tone serious.
“No. Actually, that’s not the case at all.” Which surprised the hell out of me. I’d spent a solid week with them. I should’ve been ready to move on, but I found I wasn’t. Even after the drama from yesterday, I didn’t relish the idea of sending them on their way. I wanted to say that was due to the fac
t there were two of them. That broke up the monotony rather well. I had a million more scenes already planned out in my mind and I’d been looking forward to taking it one day at a time.
“You goin’ to the club tonight?” Langston asked.
“Not sure yet.”
“You talk to Greg lately?”
Langston’s sudden topic change caught me by surprise. “No. Why?”
“Rumor has it he’s bringin’ a submissive to the club on a guest pass.”
“When?”
“Tonight.” Langston drummed his fingers on the table. “Found that interesting.”
It was obvious Langston was fishing. I wasn’t going to fall for the bait. “News to me.”
Langston grinned. “Yeah? I talked to Ransom yesterday.”
“Spit it out, Moore.”
Langston appeared unfazed by my gruff command. “I’m pretty sure you and this submissive have a last name in common.”
“Well, if that’s the case, I guess you’ve got your answer as to whether or not I’ll be at the club.”
The man sobered somewhat. “She’s in good hands, Lautner.”
“I know. Hence the reason I asked him to show her around. Give her a taste.”
“You don’t think it’ll stick, do ya? You’re hopin’ he’ll scare her off?”
“I don’t want Jamie going to one of those shit hole clubs. That’s the only reason I asked him.”
“Smart.”
I wasn’t sure about that. Allowing my baby sister into the club was a gamble. Perhaps she was more in tune with her desires than I wanted to believe. It was possible she was a true submissive. Which meant, once she got a taste of it, she might not be able to walk away. I could only hope Greg took care of her. Otherwise, the man would be walking with a limp.
A knock sounded on the door behind me. I spun my chair around as I called for the person to enter.
Dale appeared. “Mr. Lautner, your one o’clock is here.”
I glanced at my watch. It was only twelve thirty. “They can wait. Once Ben comes back, you can send them in.”
“Sure thing.” He disappeared as fast as he had appeared.
“Any potential in the pool?” Langston asked when Dale closed the door.
“A little.” I wasn’t about to tell him I was having a hard time focusing on these damn interviews because my mind was back at my house with the fuck toys who had somehow changed the game on me.
Despite my better judgment, I couldn’t help but wonder what it was they were doing.
And whether or not they were thinking of me while they did it.
*
Brax
(The cowboy)
“WE’RE GONNA HAVE TO TALK about this, Brax,” Case said for the two-dozenth time.
Ever chopped vegetables? For me, this was therapeutic. Taking my time, focusing on the little things. That was how I grounded myself, remained in the here and now. Unless, of course, someone wanted to chat. At that point, focusing was nearly impossible.
“There’s nothin’ to talk about,” I answered, exactly as I had every time he’d mentioned it since yesterday afternoon when he came home to find me strapped to a table with a machine gearing up to make me come.
Case sighed heavily and flopped onto the couch. I spared him a quick glance. He was swiping his phone repeatedly, as though scrolling through images. I had no idea what he was doing, but he’d been at it for a while.
“So, I’ve been lookin’ for a place,” Case prompted after a few minutes of blessed silence. “I think I might’ve narrowed it down to a few. Not easy when I don’t know anything about the area, but I think we should go look at ’em today.”
My gaze shot over the kitchen island to where Case was sprawled on the couch, one leg up, one leg down. He appeared casual, but I knew better. He was as stressed as I was. “What? We’re not… No, Case.”
I heard the rustle of the leather cushions as he got to his feet. “Look. I think Zeke’s probably ready for us to go. So, while we’re lookin’ for a place, we should go back to the apartment for a while. Let’s hire some people to move our things in and we can check out these places. If any of them strike our fancy, we can put in an offer. Be in our own house in a month and a half, tops.”
I shook my head and turned my attention back to the meal I was prepping for tonight. “In case you forgot, you had a panic attack when we went into that apartment.”
“I hear ya,” Case replied. “But I’m all better now. I’m sure it was just an overreaction on my part.”
Yeah, right. Case wasn’t prone to overreacting. I stared at him as he neared. I was still curious as to what had prompted that panic attack. Something had triggered it, but I didn’t know what. Never in all the time I’d known him had he had that sort of reaction to anything.
“We’re not goin’ back to the apartment,” I stated firmly. “I say we stay put for now.”
“What are you makin’?” he asked as he sidestepped the island, moving closer.
“Mustard-crusted boneless prime rib roast with cream sauce,” I told him, although I knew he didn’t want the specifics. The only thing he would’ve caught from that was prime rib.
Case’s hand curled around my bicep and he tugged me around so I was forced to look at him. Placing the knife on the counter and picking up the hand towel, I gave him my full attention.
“What happened yesterday, Brax … in the basement… I heard what you told Zeke.” He cupped my face and my chest constricted. “It’s not true. I don’t want Zeke more than you. I don’t even want him as much as I want you.”
My eyes focused on the center of his chest. I couldn’t look him in the eye because I was embarrassed enough that I’d found myself in that position. Not that I had an issue with the scene. That damn fucking machine had done a number on me and not in a bad way. However, the fact that I’d broken down and admitted something so stupid still caused my cheeks to warm.
We’d officially been with Zeke for one week, and for some stupid reason, I was allowing things to move too quickly. What I said to Zeke was true, but I should’ve kept it to myself. I had no right to fuck this up for the three of us because of petty jealousy.
“Babe, I think it’s time we did our own thing again,” Case said. “This isn’t working.”
“But it is,” I countered. “I know it is, Case. I see the way you look at Zeke, and I know what you need from him.”
He frowned, his dark eyebrows shooting downward. “What do you mean, the way I look at him? I don’t look at him any way. He’s just a man who can… Regardless, that’s not what I want from him.”
I sighed, resting my ass against the countertop. “I get it, Case. I really do. Zeke’s an enigma. He’s the Prince of Darkness and he can give you things no one else can. You want to explore this with him, to see where it might lead.”
Case jerked away from me and ran his hand over his short hair. “That’s not true. I can get what I need from—”
“Anyone but me,” I said, cutting off whatever lie he was going to tell me. I couldn’t hide the sadness in my tone. “But I knew that going into it, Case. Zeke was right. It wasn’t fair for me to get all butt-hurt over it. He’s givin’ us what we asked for. It isn’t my place to ask for more, and I damn sure shouldn’t be jealous.”
Case turned back to look at me, something akin to grief written on his face. “This is what I didn’t want to happen, Brax.”
“I know. And that’s on me.” I motioned toward the food I was preparing. “Which is why I’ll just focus on cooking for the two of you and … we’ll figure it out from there. I just need to take a step back.”
That much was true. I really did need to take a step back, to look at this objectively. Unfortunately, my emotions had always run hot. I was quick to get into relationships of any kind. Friends, lovers. I’d been accused of caring more than I should. And I couldn’t deny that I did care about Zeke. Far more than he wanted me to.
“You wanna take a step back from me?” Ca
se blurted, his eyes rounding as though horrified by my response.
“No.” I stepped forward, needing to reassure him. “Not from you. From … the situation. I have to look at it objectively. Without emotion.” I dropped my eyes to his chest. “But that’s hard for me.”
This time when Case cupped my face, I leaned into his hand. I needed his touch. It grounded me in ways I’d never experienced before him.
“I’m not good at this,” I admitted. “I want to be, but I’m not.”
Some people had the ability to shut off their emotions when it came to sex. I wasn’t one of those people. While I tried to remain disconnected, to look at the situation with Zeke dispassionately, I found myself getting in deeper and deeper. When I looked at Zeke, I didn’t just see the hardened Sadist. I saw the man, and beneath that rough, intimidating exterior, Zeke Lautner was still just a man.
I was drawn to him, curious about what made him tick. Did I want more time with him? Yes. Did I want him to spend less time focusing on Case? No. I just needed to learn how to deal with it.
“Neither am I,” Case stated firmly. “Which is why I say we just go back to the apartment and forget all of it. We can even take a break from the club for a while.”
I huffed a laugh, but the pain that consumed me wasn’t funny in any way. “No, Case. That’s not fair to you or me, and it’s not fair … it’s not fair to Zeke. We agreed to see this through the same way he did. I get that he’s a badass and he acts like nothing matters to him, but I know better. He needs as much from us as we need from him.”
And I was convinced of that. Otherwise, Zeke wouldn’t have invited us into his home. He certainly wasn’t the type of man who allowed people to see into his world. Not willingly.
Case didn’t respond. His light green eyes never wavered from my face. I could see his concern, but I could also see the hope. He didn’t want what he was offering. He didn’t want to go back to that apartment or anywhere, for that matter. Case needed what Zeke was giving him. It settled that wild part of him. And I honestly believed that Zeke needed it, too. He could tell us all day long that he wasn’t in it for friendship, but I didn’t believe that. Perhaps he wasn’t looking to fall in love, but at the very least, he needed us to see this through. Not to turn our backs on him.
Their Ruthless Sadist (Office Intrigue, 5) Page 21
