“That girl over there, she’s a masochist,” Gary explained. “Not hard-core like Case, though.”
Case didn’t look at either of them, but his eyes cut to me briefly. I knew he was getting tired of having an entourage.
“Hard-core, huh?” Matt prompted.
Case didn’t respond.
“So, how long have you been members here?” Matt asked.
“I’ve been here a year,” Gary informed him. “But I just recently was collared by my Mistress.”
Matt nodded, then cast a quick look my way.
“A while,” I replied, aiming for casual, uninterested. I was hoping he would take the hint.
“Interesting.”
Why? Why was that interesting? He’d said that after nearly every answer we’d given him. If I didn’t know better, I would think this was some sort of interrogation. And it was getting old quickly.
Unfortunately, Gary took that opportunity to excuse himself. That left me and Case with Matt and I knew the questions were going to keep coming.
Matt touched his neck. “I see you’re both collared. By the same Dom? Male or female?”
“Yeah. And he’s a Sadist,” I answered, leaving the what’s it to you? unspoken.
Matt turned his attention to Case. “So, you’re a masochist, huh?”
Case didn’t respond, simply glared back at the man through his mask. It was clear he was as sick of playing this game as I was.
“I think Zeke’s tryin’ to get our attention,” I told Case. “It was nice to meet you, Matt.”
“Zeke?” he asked, the whites of his eyes glowing through the mask. “Zeke Lautner? I’d heard a rumor he was a member here, but I didn’t believe it.”
Okay, this was going too far. I nudged Case away before Matt could launch another question at us. I knew Zeke wasn’t trying to get our attention, but the least we could do was seek him out. It seemed a logical way to get away from the guy who had latched himself to our sides.
Zeke must’ve seen something that bothered him, because as soon as we approached, his mouth turned down in a grimace. “Something wrong?”
“No,” I said quickly. “Just thought we’d check in. See if you needed anything.”
“Well, I’ll be damned.”
Son of a bitch. I spun around to see Matt had followed us. “Look, man, I—”
“Long time no see, Zeke,” Matt said, his voice deeper than before, his tone holding a condescending edge to it.
Zeke didn’t say a word and I turned back to see him staring. In an instant, his mask was off and he was glaring at Matt.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Matt?”
Holy shit.
That wasn’t a hi, how are ya? greeting. In fact, I was pretty sure there was steam coming out of Zeke’s ears. Apparently they knew each other, and if that was the case, I didn’t think it had ended well. And I suspected this wasn’t one of those one-and-done scenarios where Zeke had beat on him, then dismissed him for someone else to take care of.
“Of all the kink clubs in all the world…” Matt stared at Zeke, leaving the sentence hanging.
I couldn’t breathe for the amount of animosity pouring off Zeke. His back was rigid, his hands fisted at his sides
Matt glanced over at Case. “For a masochist, you sure don’t have high standards, do you?”
Case spun to face Matt, his chest puffing up as he took a step closer to Matt. “Excuse me?”
I put my hand on Case’s arm to hold him back. The last thing we needed was to throw down in the middle of Dichotomy. That was the fastest way to get booted out of the club. Forever.
Matt glared back at Case, going toe to toe with him. “With a reputation as a hard-core masochist, I’m surprised. That’s all.”
Case’s mask came off and he inched closer to Matt. “Choose your words carefully,” Case warned. “Because offending my—Zeke—is not somethin’ I’ll tolerate.”
“Your Zeke?” Matt laughed. “Sounds about right. You seem more of the alpha in this relationship. Makes sense considering your Zeke loses that hard outer layer when he falls in love. Has he done that yet? Told you he loves you? Asked you to sleep in his bed? Because that’s where I ended up. All I wanted was a Dom who could stay the course and be true to himself. Turns out, Zeke wasn’t capable of that.” Matt laughed and it had a sickening tone to it. “He ended up wanting more. Love and shit. I mean, come on. What real Sadist says I love you? That shit’s for pussies.”
Holy shit. This dude was delusional. What the fuck was he even talking about?
I turned to ask Zeke that very question only he wasn’t there. I glanced around the crowded room but I didn’t see him.
Suddenly Trent appeared and Case backed up.
“What’s going on here?” the famous Dom asked. “Why aren’t you wearing a mask?”
Case didn’t respond, simply continued shooting daggers at Matt with his eyes.
“We’re sorry, Master Ramsey,” I said politely. “Case and I were just … going to the locker room.”
Without waiting for Case to argue, I shoved him forward away from Matt.
“Don’t you dare turn around,” I hissed. “Keep moving.”
“Who the fuck does he think he is?” Case snapped. “And who the hell let him in here?”
Those were good questions. Questions I didn’t have answers for.
“Where’s Zeke?” Case asked when we were heading up the stairs.
“When I turned around, he was gone.”
“What the fuck? Did he leave?”
I didn’t know for sure, but I suspected that to be the case. Whoever Matt was, he had a history with Zeke. And based on Matt’s patronizing attitude, it hadn’t ended on a good note.
Case stopped on the stairs as though he was going to turn back around.
“Come on, Case. Let’s get changed. No way can we stay here and let that asshole start shit. I am not losin’ my membership to this club.”
Although, that was the least of my worries at the moment.
Case and I had to go to Zeke. We had to figure out what was going on and why he had bolted. That was very unlike him and I didn’t like the thought of him being by himself.
Especially if he was hurting.
The man might’ve been hard-core and standoffish in most things he did, but he was as human as the rest of us. It was possible he didn’t want people to know they had the power to hurt him, but he wasn’t a superhero.
And Matt was a fucking moron if he seriously believed there was a single person out there who could shut himself down indefinitely.
Certainly not Zeke.
THIRTY
ZEKE
NOT ONLY WAS I A shitty Sadist, I was a shitty Dom in general.
The instant I had recognized Matt, I left my fuck toys at the club. Up and left them without a word.
Did I regret it?
No.
I was sure they’d gotten enough from Matt to know that I could never live up to their ridiculously high expectations. I could never be the man they believed me to be. Yes, I was fucking human. Yes, I had fallen in love with Matt and thought for some stupid fucking reason that I could spend the rest of my life with him.
I still remembered the day it had all gone to shit. It was forever etched in my memory.
“What’s going on here?” Matt asked when he walked in my front door.
Finally. It felt as though I’d waited forever for him to get here. I couldn’t explain the reasons for my nervous anticipation, but I was practically vibrating with energy. For the first time in a long time, excitement fueled me.
I had cooked dinner for the two of us, hoping for some quiet time at home. It was Friday and we generally went to the club, but I wanted something different, something more intimate. Although I knew he enjoyed it, I wasn’t up to beating on him in front of dozens of people.
“I cooked,” I told him with a smile.
He frowned, his body rigid as though he wasn’t sure if he should s
tay or go. “What do you mean you cooked? Why aren’t you ready for the club?”
“We’re not going to the club.” I figured that was enough of an explanation. Matt was the type who liked for me to be dominant in every aspect of our lives, including when I spoke to him. So, I would put my foot down this time.
“Why not?” His normally cool tone sounded slightly petulant, as though he was gearing up to argue like a teenager who’d been banned from going out.
He looked around as though I couldn’t possibly find something to entertain us at my place. It was true, we rarely came here. Matt preferred to go to the club whenever it was open. Sometimes I felt as though I spent more time there than I did anywhere else.
Although I’d asked him to stay the night with me a few times, Matt had always turned me down, insisting that he liked the space we had because it made our encounters that much hotter. And he wasn’t wrong. However, I’d started to want more than just the wild, rough sex we had. We’d been together for a year and a half to the day and I was ready to move things to the next level. Tonight, over the dinner I had worked hard to make, I was going to ask Matt to move in.
“Because I have other plans,” I said simply. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to eat.”
“If I don’t mind?” He sounded horrified. “Are you asking me what I want?”
After placing the full plates on the table, I turned my attention to him. “I was being polite, Matt. If you want me to insist, I can certainly do that.”
“Polite? You?”
All right. Something was up. “What does that mean?”
“You’re the Dom, right? I didn’t think I had a say.”
“Of course you have a say,” I explained. “If I led you to believe otherwise, I’m sorry.”
His eyes widened. “You’re sorry? What the hell is going on, Zeke?”
Now I was confused.
His voice rose an octave or two. “You made me dinner, you’re asking me my preference and you’re apologizing. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“What do you mean what’s wrong with me? I thought we’d have dinner at home tonight and forego the club.”
“But that’s not how this works.”
He couldn’t have punched me harder if he’d used his fists. Why was he arguing? And what the hell was the big deal? So I wanted to stay in tonight.
I knew my confusion was written all over my face. “How what works?”
“You. Me. This. I thought you were a Sadist, Zeke? I thought you were the Dom in this relationship.”
“So, what? Because I’m a Sadist, I’m not supposed to want to have dinner with my boyfriend?”
Matt’s eyes bugged out and he took a step back. “Your boyfriend? I’m not your boyfriend. I’m your submissive, Zeke. Our relationship is Master and slave, remember?”
“So you want me to tell you to sit your fucking ass down?” I shouted. “Is that what you want from me? I can’t make you dinner or want to spend a night in with you?”
“For starters, yes. You’re supposed to command me to do things. Not ask. And you damn sure don’t apologize. What the fuck is wrong with you? Where’s the hard-core man I’ve spent the past year and a half bowing to?”
“What do you mean where is he? I’m right here.”
“And you’re cooking and apologizing. That’s not … you, Zeke. You’re the guy who flogs me because you need it. Because I need it. You don’t make me dinner and you damn sure don’t say you’re sorry. Why? Why are you acting weird?”
“Because I’m human, Matt. I don’t spend every minute of my day thinking about all the ways I want to torture you. I’m still a man, and I was looking forward to your company tonight. Without having you strip in front of a club full of people while I hit you. Is that okay?”
“No!”
He took another step back, horror glinting in his eyes. As though he couldn’t believe I would want something so normal.
“That’s not how this works, Zeke.”
“Then how does it work, Matt? Explain it to me. I’ve spent all this time falling in love with you and you’re telling me that’s not acceptable?”
If he could look more shocked, I would be surprised.
“You love me?” He said it like it was a bad word, as though he would be struck down for even thinking it.
I lowered my voice, wanting to reason with him. I wasn’t sure why he was acting like me being normal was somehow blasphemous. Sure, our relationship hadn’t been all that normal to begin with. We met at a kink club and we spent a lot of time there, but surely he didn’t think that was all this was.
“Yes, Matt. I love you.” I took a step closer, but he held up his hands.
“No, don’t. I’m… I need to go.”
Damn, my chest ached as though he’d wrapped his hand around my heart and squeezed. “Matt…?”
He held my gaze. “Obviously, this isn’t working because … you’re not who I thought you were.” He motioned toward the table. “You, me, dinner. We don’t do things like that.”
“We’ve had dinner plenty of times,” I argued.
“Sure. But only when you command me to cook. I thought you wanted that. For me to serve you.” He shook his head again. “This isn’t what I signed on for, Zeke.”
“Signed on for?”
“Yeah. You know. The contract I signed. That’s why I’m here, right? Because I’m obligated to serve you. That’s what I agreed to. Why you’re claiming you love me when I know you’re not capable of love… It doesn’t make sense.”
“Why would I not be capable of love?”
Matt’s face fell and I could practically read his thoughts, so I filled in for him.
“Because I’m a monster, right? That’s why I can’t love you? Because I get off on hitting you. That makes me less than human?”
“You’re not who I thought you were, Zeke. I’m sorry, but … I can’t do this. It’s not what I agreed to.”
That night, Matt walked out of my house and completely out of my life. Eighteen months I had spent with him and he never looked back. A couple of days later, I went to the club we were members of at the time only to find out he had cancelled his membership.
That was four years ago.
I had learned my lesson that night. While the masochists wanted the Sadist, they didn’t want me. And no matter how hard I tried not to be, I was still human. I had feelings and Matt had crushed them with his insanity.
I never attempted to find him after that, choosing to lock it all up. Matt was the reason the monster was born. He was the reason I chose not to allow myself to get close.
Tonight was a reminder of that and his timing was impeccable.
Just when I thought I might open myself up again, he showed up and reminded me why that would be the biggest mistake of my life. Because losing Matt was hard, but losing Brax and Case…
Damn it. And now I was thinking about them by name?
I wasn’t sure I would survive them turning their backs on me when they figured out I wasn’t some fucking show horse. I couldn’t always be on display, acting the role they’d cast me in.
Which meant I had to be the one to put an end to this.
It was the only way.
*
Case
(The pretty boy)
AFTER WE CHANGED BACK INTO street clothes, Brax called for an Uber. The drive back to Zeke’s was weird. Brax didn’t want to talk, and for some reason, the driver didn’t want to turn on music, so we sat in the eerie silence as each mile crept by.
Finally, we arrived back at Zeke’s, but from the driveway, it looked as though no one was home. Since Zeke’s truck was out front, I knew he was there. I’d learned over the past four weeks that Zeke was rather predictable. If he wasn’t home, he was at work or at the club. He had breakfast with Jamie every Friday, and aside from having lunch out, he ate every meal at the house. He spent his extra time working out or playing with his dog.
“Maybe we should give him some sp
ace,” I told Brax when I climbed out of the car. “It’s obvious he’s upset about something.”
“And we’re gonna find out what it is,” Brax insisted. “We’re not turnin’ our backs on him now, Case. He deserves more than that from us.”
Maybe, but that didn’t mean the man would welcome our interference. He was a very private man and he didn’t open up to many people.
I knew Brax was right, but that didn’t mean I was eager to go inside and confront Zeke. He wasn’t the sort to run from anything, so clearly Matt had meant something to him. At some point, anyway.
The thought didn’t sit well with me. I didn’t like the idea of Matt and Zeke together. No, I had no claim on Zeke, but … well, to be honest, I cared about the surly man. A lot. A lot more than I was willing to admit, even. I wanted more time with him. I wasn’t ready for this to end.
The Uber driver pulled away and Brax and I had no choice but to confront this situation head on. When we stepped inside the house, I found myself fingering the collar around my neck.
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this, Brax,” I whispered, my eyes taking a moment to adjust to the darkness.
“Zeke?” Brax called out. “Where are you?”
All the lights were off but I could hear the music coming from the basement.
I closed and locked the door behind me, then motioned Brax toward the stairs. With a nod, Brax led the way.
Every step felt like I was trudging through quicksand. I wasn’t sure what we’d find when we reached the bottom and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
We found Zeke pacing the floor, a fifty-pound dumbbell in each hand. He had removed his shirt and his shoes, his muscles flexing, sweat coating his skin, as though he’d been working out for hours. Since it hadn’t been that long since his confrontation with Matt, it meant Zeke was doubling his efforts. I knew that was his way of dealing with stress. He didn’t drink or smoke like some people. Instead, he abused his muscles with endless hours of working out.
“Zeke?” Brax repeated. “Can we talk?”
Those black eyes shot over toward us but there was absolutely no emotion in them. The light was completely gone. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized how much Zeke had changed over the past month we’d spent with him. While he’d never struck me as the angry type, there had always been something missing. A lack of interest, maybe. But the more time we were with him, the more he seemed to change.
Their Ruthless Sadist (Office Intrigue, 5) Page 31
