by Cathryn Fox
She stepped closer and reached out to him, her voice soft. "Sam, I know how this looks to you but trust me, it was Eric Hawkins who put Eugene up to this."
Hawk? Why would Hawk be on her story? None of this made sense.
"I saw the two of them talking yesterday just before Eugene chased us. I didn't mention it because I didn't want to worry you more. You had enough on your mind already and I had planned to investigate and get to the bottom of it for you."
He looked into her honest, honey-flecked eyes and wanted to believe everything she was telling him, needed to believe everything she was telling him. The alternative was too painful to consider.
His gaze brushed across her face as he took a moment to mull things over. Was he really going to believe some asshole protestor over Cat? The only woman who'd ever stood by him, who went against her own best interests for his, and stepped up to the plate to help him complete his assignment. He berated himself for thinking she'd do this, but old fears and insecurities were still far too close to the surface, making him feel far too vulnerable.
"Ask him, Sam."
Sam spun back around.
Eugene pressed himself farther into the wall. "Yeah, yeah, it was that reporter, Hawk. He's the guy you want, not me."
Sam caught hold of Cat's hand and watched her face relax as he drew her under his arms. "Did you call the police? "
She nodded. "They're on their way. I also called my boss and he's on his way to pay a visit to Eric Hawkins, to get to the bottom of this."
"I need to call my Director."
A short while later, after the police came and took Eugene to the station for questioning, Sam called and relayed the night's activities to his Director and then followed Cat back to her place. Armed with this new information, Director Smith planned on contacting the Board of Directors first thing in the morning to get the thumbs up for Sam to resume testing on the serum.
Once inside her condo, Cat turned to him and ran her fingers gently over his. Her eyes filled with tender concern. "Is your hand okay?"
Sam squeezed his fingers. "It's fine."
Cat took his hand in hers for a closer examination. As she lightly stroked her fingers over his, his heart swelled. God, he was crazy about her. How could he have believed for a split second that she'd do something so devious? Cat had integrity and character, and the way she stood by him warmed his soul.
"Go put some ice on it while I get changed. And while you're in the kitchen, pour us a drink. I could use it after that incident. There's a bottle of wine on the counter."
Sam dropped a soft kiss on her cheek and then made his way to the kitchen. Ignoring the swelling in his hand, he found the wine and poured two glasses, hoping to meet her in the bedroom before she'd finished changing.
God, she'd only been out of his arms for a few minutes and he already missed her.
Just as he prepared to move down the hall, a letter on Cat's kitchen table drew his attention. As soon as he saw the words, the Daily Press, his heart pounded in his chest, his mouth went dry, and his bliss disappeared. Even though it was an invasion of her privacy, something compelled him to read the letter. He scanned the words once, then a second time, letting the reality of the situation sink in. A sick knot tightened his stomach. His blood ran cold, penetrating his bones.
A sound at the doorway drew his attention. He looked up to see Cat. His gaze flew to her face. God, how he longed for her. He watched her for a moment, his anger gaining momentum.
Her face tightened when he met her glance. Her lips thinned to a fine line, her eyes opened wide. She stood there, looking at him, gauging his reactions, knowing he'd read the letter from the Daily Press. She stared expectantly at him as though she was waiting for something, but for what, he didn't know.
Perhaps she was waiting for an offer to help her pack.
He shot her a sidelong glance and balled his fingers as his anger took hold. "How could you dp this, Cat?" His voice came out a little unstable, a little gruff.
Seemingly surprised by his reaction, her head jerked with a start. "Do what to you? "
He cocked his head and struck out at her. "So who really put Eugene up to the kidnapping?" Wine sloshed over the side of his glass as he set it on the table. He grabbed the paper and held it up. "Who was the one looking for a promotion? Obviously you and Hawk had to be working together. Was the plan to cozy up to me to get the story?"
She reacted to the harshness in his voice. Eyes wide in astonishment, she shook her head and flinched at his harsh words. She tossed him a perplexed frown, a sadness in her eyes. "I told you it was Hawk." She seemed hurt. "I thought you believed that. I thought you trusted me."
Sam threaded his fingers through his hair, his eyebrows furrowed. "You want to talk about trust when all this time you were using me to get to bigger and better."
Pain and anger flashed in her eyes. "It's not true. I was there for you and I never once used you for personal gain. I would think you would know that. At least I had hoped you'd know that after we'd been so intimate and shared in something so special."
He grabbed the letter and flung it at her. "Why didn't you tell me about this? "
Her face softened. "Sam …" She reached out to him. "It's not what you think. If you'd just give me a minute to explain."
Sam backed up, not able to handle her warm, gentle touch. "I can't do this Cat, not again. Not ever again." Feeling suffocated, he had to get out of there, to get air. He couldn't stick around to listen to why she had to run away to bigger and better things. His stomach rolled. He bit back an ironic laugh.
Fuck! He glanced at his watch and took a deep breath.
He gave an angry shake of his head. Angry with himself for letting this relationship move beyond physical when he knew he didn't have what it took to keep her around. He hastily pushed past Cat and made his way to the door.
"It's late. I have to go get Rio."
Her voice was low and urgent. "Sam, wait."
Her words stopped him. He twisted back around, wanting to lash out again. "What? You need a lift to the airport?"
She winced at his harshness. "I wanted you to see the letter." She sounded edgy, emotional.
Sam shook his head in disbelief. "This is the reason you invited me back here, instead of going to my place. You wanted me to see this?" Christ, did she have some kind of cruel streak he didn't know about?
"I left the letter on the table for you to see. I wanted you to read it. I wanted you to ask me to stay." She stepped closer to him. "Don't you see? I needed to know I was more than a lab rat to you."
His stomach churned. He touched her arm, his fingers idly stroking her flesh. "I'd never do that, Cat. I'd never ask you to stay." With that he turned and walked out the door.
The look in his eyes before he left told her everything. She saw love, caring, and a little boy lost. Her heart swelled in her chest as tears pooled in her eyes.
Resisting the urge to go after him, she pulled in a breath and sorted through the events, taking a long time to reflect on Sam's childhood and insecurities. Understanding dawned in small increments. Understanding of where all that anger had come from, and why he had a hard time trusting her, why he'd lashed out at her.
It occurred to her that Sam had expected her to leave, just like everyone else in his life that he'd cared for and lost. Sam was too afraid to ask her to stay.
He might have just walked out on her but his reaction proved one thing. She was more than a lab rat to him. Otherwise the job offer wouldn't have mattered.
Cat glanced out her window to see Sam climb into his Jeep. Tears flowed down her cheeks as everything in her reached out to him. As hard as it was, she had to let him go.
Palms flat on the window, she watched him peel out of the parking lot, knowing he needed time to battle old ghosts, to find a way to heal, to find the courage to trust her.
And to find a way to come back on his own.
* * *
Chapter 11
Sam drove aroun
d for hours, with no specific destination in mind. As midnight came and went he found himself sitting outside Kale's house. He killed the ignition and just sat there, feeling numb, trying to sort through the night's events.
He glanced at the house. The lights were dimmed and it was late. Maybe he should just go home. He reached for the keys when the front door opened.
"Are you coming in or are you going to sit there all night?" Kale asked.
Feeling chilled, Sam climbed from the Jeep and scrubbed his hand over his jaw. "Did I wake you? "
"No, I was up with the baby, but now both my girls are asleep so keep it down."
Sam followed Kale inside and plunked himself down on the sofa. The warmth of the house seeped into his skin. Blue rays fanned out from the television, providing the only source of light in the room.
"Beer?"
"Love one," Sam said.
Kale came back with two beers and handed one to Sam. Sam took a long pull as Kale grabbed the remote, muted the television, and sank back into his chair.
Kale got right to the point. "What's up, Sam?"
Sam shifted. "It's that obvious, is it?"
"Oh yeah. You look like shit."
How was that for blunt? "You think?"
Kale leaned forward. "Is it the reporter?"
"You could say that."
Kale pushed himself back into his seat. "Shit, Sam. I told you not to play with fire. What happened?"
Sam shook his head as a strange groan crawled out of his throat. He kept his voice low. "To be honest, I'm not sure. First, there was a threatening note; then, a protestor was at my house trying to kidnap Rio. He said Hawk put him up to it to get a good story for a promotion. Then I saw an interview letter on Cat's table." He was rambling and probably made no sense, but he didn't care.
"So let me get this straight. You think Cat and Hawk hired a protestor to kidnap Rio so she could get a promotion? "
Sam looked up from his beer. "Is that what I said?"
"Pretty much."
"Cat wasn't in on it, though."
Kale scoffed. "Are you kidding me? She's a reporter. Of course she was."
Sam's protective instincts kicked into high gear. "No, she wasn't." An equal measure of surprise and shock hit at the same time. It suddenly occurred to him that he was defending Cat and would continue to defend her with everything in him. "She's not like that, Kale. You don't know her the way I do. Don't say stuff like that about her."
He took a pause, considering everything over. Cat didn't have a manipulative bone in her body and he damn well knew it. He'd struck out at her earlier because she was leaving. The little boy lost cowering inside of him compelled him to hurt her the same way she'd hurt him. She might not have set Eugene up, but it didn't change the fact that she was leaving.
Him.
"Sam."
"Yeah?"
"You're protecting her."
"So?" Sam swallowed the rest of his beer and quietly set it on the coaster.
"And you're defending her," Kale added.
Sam arched his brow. "Your point?"
Kale grinned. "You're only protective of the people you love."
Planting his elbows on his knees, Sam rested his forehead in his palms and groaned. "I know."
After a long pause, Kale said, "So if you love her, why are you here?"
"Because she's leaving. Going to a job interview for her dream job in New York."
"I see."
Sam felt a flash of anger but kept his voice low, not wanting to wake Erin or the baby. He looked up and met Kale's glance. "No, you don't see."
"Then enlighten me."
"She wanted me to see the note. Wanted me to ask her to stay. Wanted to see if she was more than a lab rat to me."
"Then ask her."
Sam swallowed. "It's not so simple."
"Sure it is. You open your mouth and say, Cat, stay with me. Sometimes you have to fight for what you want, Sam. Look at me and Erin. I wasn't going down without a fight, and look how happy we are now."
Sam glanced at Kale and then perused the warm, loving environment. His heart twisted with envy. He felt a little vulnerable, a little raw, and a whole lot lonely. "What if she eventually leaves?"
Kale shrugged. "What if she doesn't? Are you going to throw this away because of a 'what if'? Because you're too chicken shit to give it a shot?"
Sam blew out a breath. "I guess that would be a dumb thing to do, wouldn't it?"
Kale grinned. "Pretty dumb, Sam. Even for you," he teased.
Cat stirred and tossed on her bed as she slipped in and out of a restless slumber. Her thoughts were on Sam, even in sleep. Wondering where he was and what he was doing. Every now and then she'd slip off the mattress and check the parking lot. It was nearing two in the morning, yet he hadn't come back.
Cat's stomach clenched and her heart ached, wondering if he ever would. Wondering if she'd made a huge mistake by letting him go.
Just as she was about to check her window again, her doorbell chimed.
Hope rushed through her as the sound filled her condo. She hurried down the hall and peeked through the peephole. Her breath stalled. She pulled open the door and came face-to-face with a very disheveled-looking Sam.
"Hi," he said.
Cat smoothed her hair off her face. It occurred to her, with her hair in a mess and her makeup smeared, she looked exactly like she did a few days ago on the picket line.
Great!
"Hi." Cat's heart swelled as she took in his pained expression.
Sam drove his hands deep into his pockets. "Can I come in?"
She nodded and gestured with her hands. God, she loved him so much it hurt.
After he walked through the doorway he turned to face her. His voice hitched as he swallowed. "This job, isn't it your dream?"
She shook her head and took a step toward him. "I thought it was, but I was wrong."
Sam pulled his hands from his pockets and brushed his fingers over her cheeks. He pitched his voice low. "Are you sure, Cat, because you need to be sure."
"I am sure." She could tell he was afraid to completely surrender his heart to her only to have her up and leave him, the way so many others had.
"If you give up your dream right now, Cat, you'll still leave. It will just be later."
"I was chasing the wrong dream, Sam. I was chasing someone else's dream."
He got quiet, worry etching his features as his fingers tangled through her hair.
"Talk to me, Sam."
After a long, agonized minute he said in a whispered tone, "I'm worried that I don't have what it takes to keep you around."
Cat squeezed his arm, offering comfort and support. "I'm not like your mother or those other stand-ins your father brought home."
His brow puckered into a frown, conflicting emotions flickering in his eyes. "I want to be selfish and beg you to stay, I really do, but I want you to be happy."
She addressed his worries. "I learned something from you, Sam. I love my 'Cat on the Prowl' articles. I thought success came from writing hard-hitting news. I was wrong. You taught me that. Success comes from within and being happy doing what you're doing. I didn't realize how important my columns were, how much people enjoyed them, how much I enjoyed them."
He stepped closer to her, into her personal space. His hands dropped to her arms; his fingers idly stroking her flesh.
"I know you're afraid of emotional commitment, Sam. I've let go of old ideas and beliefs that have kept me from seeing what was right in front of my eyes all this time. What kept me from being happy. Now it's your turn."
Something in his expression changed. His face softened; his body relaxed. He leaned into her and gently kissed the side of her neck. He lingered there, breathing in her scent. Shivers of warm need left her shaking, unable to fill her lungs with air.
"Cat, sweetheart?"
She let out a little gasp as he gathered her into his arms and held her. She became hyperaware of the heat in his body as
it pressed against hers. Lord, it felt so good to be held by him. Goose bumps pebbled her flesh.
"Yes?" she whispered.
He inched back and looked deep into her eyes. There was so much emotion and love in his gaze as it bore into her and stole her very next breath. "You were never just an experiment to me," he murmured low in his throat. "Ever."
She smiled up at him, her heart beating in a wild rush. "Good. You were never an experiment to me either, Sam."
He brushed his fingers over her cheeks and tucked her hair behind her ear. A gesture more intimate than a kiss.
"I love you, Cat. Will you stay with me? And we'll see where this all takes us."
His words drummed in her head as joy rushed through her bloodstream. Cat grinned and threw her arms around his neck. Her throat was tight with emotions.
"Oh Sam, I thought you'd never ask."
After he hugged her, he inched back and frowned. "I'm sorry for accusing you of hiring Eugene. Deep down I knew you'd never do that. I lashed out in anger. I guess I still have a lot of things to work through."
She touched his cheek then signed the words I love you, the way Rio had taught her. When he signed the words back, her heart soared like a leaf caught in an updraft. "And I'll be here to help you work through them. Because, Sam York, you've got what it takes to keep me around. Forever."
* * *
Epilogue
One year later
Cat smoothed down her sleek black cocktail and dress took a seat beside her husband at the head table. Sitting in the gorgeous banquet room inside a posh hotel overlooking the city, she perused the crowd gathered to celebrate Sam's success with the new female libido enhancer. During the course of the evening, Cat and Sam mingled with their friends Laura and Jay Cutler and Erin and Kale Alexander. The five scientists were in secret talks about a new experiment. Sam promised as soon as he knew more, he'd let her in on it. And if all went well, she'd be the first to report it to the public through her "Cat on the Prowl" article.
