by G L Davies
I wouldn’t say that I was interested in the paranormal as a result of what happened but my ears would prick up whenever anyone talked about it. Mum wouldn’t watch any horror movies or T.V shows like the X-files or most haunted as it was a part of her life she wanted to put behind her and I could understand that.
Lisa: Tyler was about eighteen or nineteen when it started again…it was soul destroying what it did to me…what Tyler had to witness. Everything I have told you so far, everything that had happened is easy compared to telling you about that night.
Tyler: When it came back, oh my God, it was fucking horrendous, it was fucking terrible. No son should have to see that happen to their own Mother and be unable to stop it. I was powerless. I will never, ever, as long as I live be able to get what happened to her that night out from my mind. I get very angry just thinking about it. I haven’t spoken to anyone really about it. I’ve just bottled it up. I can’t just talk to my Mrs or my friends casually about what happened, it weighs so heavy on me. I think in a way it is why I am talking to you now.
Sometimes when I have been intimate, you know? Having sex I get little flashbacks, like vivid memories of what happened that night. I see Mum and I see what it did to her and I don’t want to finish the sex, you can’t with images like that in your mind. Sex is pleasure, sex is fun, and it’s about being close to someone you want to be with. What I saw was nothing at all like how it should be.
There are sick fucking people in this world. Murderers and rapists and child molesters and that thing should go after them, not her. What the fuck has she ever done to anyone? She’s been a good woman and she has done without to look after me, to be kind to other people. She’s been shit on by men yet she keeps going on with a smile and works hard. I love my Mum so much but it took a while to see her in the same way, to see her as my Mum. I don’t know what I thought of her and it wasn’t even her fault yet I judged her. I was ashamed as no child should have to see their parent like that, never. We all joke about seeing our parents shagging or hearing the bed squeaking but this isn’t like that at all, this was torment and torture and for a minute I wanted to abandon her and run off and never see her ever again. I wished it wasn’t real.
Lisa: Where do I begin? I remember the night as if it was last night. You never forget something like that and if you think the first assault was bad then this is a billion times worse. I have been so worried about telling this part for so long. It has kept me up at night from the time we first made contact to do the interviews. I chain smoke just running through it in my mind; I worry about how much detail I give to you. I worry that I won’t explain it properly or that if I say a word out of place then people will think I made it all up.
People out there can think what they want and I’m sorry if they think this is shit, that this is a great big lie to make money or for any other gain. I don’t want anything but to get this off my chest, to maybe hear from others who have had similar experiences. Maybe I can help them; maybe we can help each other. If I am the only person in the world that this has happened to then so be it. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. You have no idea how grim this is, how disgusting and sick I feel by just sitting here thinking about the words I am going to use and about what I am about to say. If people out there are getting a thrill or think it’s all about ghosts having sex then I’m sorry, nothing will prepare you for what I’m about to say. I know I sound really angry but I know what people are like and I just want them to understand how much this affected me, how much it affected my own flesh and blood and how it keeps on affecting me years after. To this day that night lingers in my mind and I pray nobody and I mean nobody has had to endure anything like it. People can think I’m mad or on drugs, they really can and I wish I was on something sometimes just to suppress the memory. This is what happened.
It was a Friday night; I had finished work and was settling down on the couch to watch some T.V. I wasn’t with anyone at the time and Tyler was in his late teens. I think he had been working nights at a supermarket in Haverfordwest that week, he had a weekend off and was out on the beer. It was about ten, maybe a bit later, I had a bath, put on my dressing gown and made myself a tea. I can’t remember what was on T.V; I think I was watching a film on Film 4. Not sure.
About midnight I started to doze and I thought time for bed. I was so tired and I had to will myself off the settee; I could have easily dropped off there. I often wondered what would have happened if I had stayed downstairs. It’s silly thinking like that, as sometimes I think it is what it is, something as rotten and powerful as this, would have gotten me no matter what.
I went up to bed and for a split second felt all my hairs on my arms rise and felt a tingling on my scalp all the way down my back. It was freezing cold but it passed. I won’t lie to you, I did think is it back? But it happened and passed quickly, so I thought nothing more of it and went into my room. I took off my dressing gown, I had my knickers and bra on underneath and I was so tired that I just got in to bed like that. I must have fallen asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
Tyler: I had been out to a few pubs in the Dock and I think I’d had a row with the girl I was seeing. You know? The stupid rows you have when you’re pissed. I will admit now to you, I was steaming. I had drunk a lot that night. I was tired when I got out from working nights all week, I didn’t eat much and had just been paid so went a little crazy on the lager and shorts. I must have been out drinking for about five hours, maybe more. The boys were getting a taxi into Haverfordwest to go to some of the clubs there, to go on the pull, but I wasn’t in the mood after the falling out. I went home; I staggered home to be honest. I got there and it took me ages to open the door, to get the key in. As soon as I opened the door there was this terrible smell, really fucking bad, like someone had shit in the hall way. I thought maybe I had stepped in dog shit.
I checked my shoes, I think I actually fell over checking them and then I heard this knocking upstairs and a weird moaning noise. I thought that maybe mum had a man in her life who she had kept secret from me and was shagging up there. I tried to be quiet and I stumbled into the kitchen. I put on the kitchen light and the smell was awful, it was so sickly that I thought I was going to be sick. I think I grabbed a beer from the fridge, grabbed a few bags of crisps, I made it into the living room and put on the T.V. I just lay on the settee.
I sat there in the dark, apart from the light of the T.V., the noise upstairs was getting louder and the smell was getting worse. I remember opening the window to let some air in. That is how bad the smell was. The knocking and this weird moaning noise just kept getting louder and quicker, I will be honest that it’s not what you want to hear is it? You don’t want to hear your Mum having sex, especially noisy rampant sex. I didn’t mind as she probably didn’t know I was home or thought that maybe I would have stayed at the Mrs’. I have had sex in my room with girls and I always try to be quiet as its embarrassing isn’t it? You don’t want your mum to catch or hear you shagging, do you?
I think I’d been home for about half an hour when I heard this scream and then a shout for help. It came from upstairs and I thought what the fuck is happening? I didn’t know if I should leave her or go up. I thought I better go and check, I thought if I make a load of noise that maybe she would hear me and stop what she was doing. I went into the hallway and I opened and closed the front door really loudly and shouted “Hello” like I had just come in. The stench in the hallway was terrible. I started to climb the stairs with a noisy footstep on each just so she knew I was home and with each step the smell got worse and the knocking and moaning got louder. By the time I got to the top of the stairs I had to cover my nose and mouth with the sleeve of my jacket. It was the worst smell ever.
I called out “Mum, you ok?” and from her room I heard a pitiful sob of “Tyler, please help.” I opened Mums bedroom door and it was dark. It was stinking in there, worse than anywhere else in the house, I flicked on the light and I was appalled. It was fucking sickening.
Lisa: I am ashamed that my son had to see me like that; I am disgusted that my own son had to see what he had. It’s wrong, so very wrong.
Tyler: What I saw, what I witnessed, I pray that none of you ever, and I mean ever, have to see something like that.
When the light went on the first thing I saw was Mum on all fours facing the wall. Her backside was facing me; she was naked apart from her bra. There was shit all down her legs and her buttocks were opening and closing like someone was spreading and closing them. I could see her anus gaping open with blood and shit dribbling from it. I was sick, I actually vomited, and I was shocked and disgusted. I couldn’t see Mums face but she was making this weird moaning sound, her hair was hanging over her face and her arm was behind her back like something was holding it.
I didn’t know what to do; nothing can prepare you for that. It looked like something was having sex with her anus, but there was no one there, her buttocks were moving and her anus was stretched open. I just freaked, I ran to grab her and I was forcefully pushed back against the wall. I was frozen. I couldn’t move. I was frozen stiff, powerless and paralyzed and I vomited again all over myself.
Then Mum’s whole body started to move, like rotate to the left a little. It was almost as if she was levitated a few inch’s and then she just faced me. Her hair matted and covered in sick and her mouth was making this weird moaning sound, not of pleasure, no way, this was one of pain and agony.
It seemed forever that I watched her. I think I was sick again and I saw bile drooling from her mouth. I couldn’t move or scream and it was like whatever was doing this wanted to watch me, having to see my own mother being abused and raped like that by something invisible and evil.
Lisa: As I said, my head hit the Pillow as soon as I got to bed, and as far as I knew I had fallen asleep. Then next thing I’m on all fours and something is inside me, inside my arse, I cannot move, I cannot call out. There is an awful smell of diarrhoea in the room.
I started to cry and I started to think, not again, why is this happening again? But this was not like before, when it was kissing my breasts and trying to pleasure me, no, this was worse, this was brutal and it buggered me for what seemed like hours. I think I passed out with the pain and the fear. I could feel something long and scaly or like sand paper deep inside me. It was thrusting and tearing. It was agonizing; it was penetrating me so deep. It never touched my vagina or my chest or my mouth. All its focus was on my anus and buttocks.
I have never had anal sex before and the pain was insane. I felt like my anus was burning and ripping, I could feel blood dripping down my legs, I think I shit myself a few times too, I was certainly sick all over myself and the bed. Whatever this was it left me with no dignity; it treated me like a lump of meat, like an animal. The pain was so excruciating that I thought I would die the longer it carried on. I did pray to God that he would just take me, to just let me die rather than for this to continue any longer.
I think I passed out, when I came too It was still violating me. It was awful, I heard the front door and somehow managed to scream out. It took every ounce of my power, I was so weak yet I managed to call out and next thing Tyler is in the room. Whatever had hold of me spun me around and I saw Tyler and his face, his poor face more than anything, is what hurts me the most. His face was contorted in disgust and horror. There was his mum naked, exposed and being anally raped. He looked like he was pinned to the wall and then he was sick all over himself. I’m not sure if that was because of what he was seeing or because of the awful hellish smell. He closed his eyes, I felt like he had abandoned me, left me to my torture that he had zoned out to a safer place, but who could blame him?
Then it was like as if something else came into the room, something different.
Tyler: I was there trapped against the wall, unable to move. I will be honest in that I did close my eyes, I could not bear to see my Mum like that, being brutalized, covered in her own sick and shit. I just wanted to run, to leave her there and run as fast as I could down the street and not look back. I feel so bad about saying that now but I remember just wanting to run away at that moment. I’m just being honest. Suddenly there was this strange noise. It was like electricity in the air, I remember all the hairs on my body standing up. The room was filling up with what seemed to be an electrical charge, I opened my eyes and the bedroom light began flickering.
I saw what appeared to be a bluish ball of light appear, like an orb, from the corner of the room and it shot into an area slightly above Mum, the light went out and I just heard mum coughing and sobbing. I fell to the bedroom floor in a heap just hoping and praying that it was over. No one can ever imagine, unless they had been there, how terrifying and disturbing it was. My poor mum degraded like that.
Lisa: I remember this feeling, like the room was beginning to charge with electricity and I felt the thing inside me feel less intrusive, almost as if it was melting. Then the light went out, I just collapsed into the bed and whatever had been inside me had gone. I didn’t feel the rough hand of something on my arse. All I could feel was the pain in my anus and in my stomach. I lay there panting and sobbing. Tyler didn’t come to me for what seemed an age; I think he was in shock. I don’t think he knew how to cope, how to react. I just lay there in my own shit and vomit. One thing I did notice was that the overpowering smell vanished, it was just the awful smells that had come from us. Tyler was covered in vomit.
I felt so ashamed, so violated and the pain was so incredible but I was relieved for it to be over. I tried to crawl over to Tyler, I felt someone grab me and hold me and I thought, no, not again but it was -Tyler holding me and crying into my hair. It didn’t matter what had happened, it didn’t matter that my son had seen his mum have to endure a forced anal entry, he just loved me and he held me. I cried for an eternity.
Tyler: I held mum for ages. I felt guilty for just wanting to run off and leave her. I felt so ashamed and I just held her. I cried and cried. We both did. I didn’t care what I had seen or how she looked, she was my mum and there in the dark I held her and she just shook and sobbed beneath me. Whatever was doing this had no regard for her, it wanted to hurt her and I wanted to hurt it. I would have smashed it to bits if I could have. I was puzzled by the energy in the room that appeared just before it stopped hurting Mum. It was almost as if something else was in there with us, like something helped her.
We lay for ages and then I smelt the shitty smell again, so strong, so suffocating and I thought it’s come back for Mum, we shouldn’t have stayed here, we should have ran out on the street and screamed for help. Mum was panting underneath me and she held me tight, she knew whatever it was, was coming back for her and she knew there was nothing I could do to stop it.
Lisa: The smell came back and I thought it was going to violate me again. There was no way on earth I could have endured that again. The Bedroom door was open from when Tyler barged in and it was dark on the landing. I think the power to the whole house was off, Tyler told me later that he left the kitchen light and T.V on when he came upstairs but there was no sound or light from downstairs. The terrible smell was creeping back into the room, as I peered through my fingers I saw a blue flash on the landing, I thought I could hear muffled voices arguing and shouting but in a weird hushed way. There was another flash and I distinctly heard a voice shout “DO NOT TOUCH HER!” then the smell vanished again and the light came back in the bedroom.
Tyler: It was like the time I heard the voices from the attic, like two men shouting but in a whispering kind of way. A voice demanded that it leave her alone and the smell went and the lights came back on and I could hear the T.V on downstairs. It was about 2 a.m. I managed to get Mum to sit up, I asked her if she wanted me to call the police or anybody and she said no, she asked that I just help her to the bathroom. She could barely stand and it took a while to get her to the bathroom. She sat on the toilet sobbing but she asked that I put the shower on. She got in and just held herself crying as the shit and blood washed of
f her. It was such a terrible sad sight to see mum sat there, broken and abused. Mum is such a good, kind, loving woman and she didn’t deserve that, no one does.
I asked her again if I should call the police and she whispered in a frail voice that they wouldn’t believe us and they might accuse me of raping my own mum, which did make me furious but I guess she was right. There was no one else in the house but me and it was obvious that she was the victim of a sexual assault. I would be a suspect and in a small town like Pembroke Dock, regardless if I was innocent or not, I would be ruined for life and forced to move away.
I asked her if she wanted me to call Nan but she gave me a cold hard stare and gently shook her head. She asked that I get her some painkillers and her tampons and said she would patch herself up, She said I should go and stay at my girlfriends for a bit while she tried to get us a new home but I refused saying I wouldn’t leave her. I said we would get through this together.
Mum asked that I grab everything in the bedroom and put them in the washing machine and then put them in bin bags and bin them. I told her again it was evidence and we should at least take pictures, she quietly said no and began sobbing again. I left her there under the water while I stripped the bed, pulled up the rug in there and took her dressing gown downstairs. They were stinking but not as bad as the smell that had filled the house. I thought we would need a fumigator but a day later there was no smell, there was no evidence of what had happened just the memories etched in our mind. Mum had more physical pain and she had to use tampons on her behind for weeks until she was fully healed. Every time she went to the toilet, she would nearly pass out with the pain. She stopped eating and took Imodium for nearly a week. I wanted her to go to the doctors and just say she’d had rough anal sex with a partner but she refused. She was stubborn. She had to take weeks off work, she refused to speak to Nan, when she asked the council if we could move they said there was nothing available, we didn’t have enough money to go and live somewhere else.
