by G L Davies
I can’t explain how it knew where to go. I thought that maybe it just kept tabs on me or maybe was always with me, just waiting to gain enough energy to touch me. Maybe it has been with me forever or maybe there was a time in my life when I was so vulnerable that it just attached itself to me. What you have to think about is that something like this might not be individual, in that there is more than one, maybe these things can attach themselves to any person at any one time. Someone reading or hearing this might think I’m glad it didn’t happen to me, but what’s not to say that it might one day happen to them? One day life is normal. You work, you have family and you are happy and then from nowhere and without warning you are being abused sexually by something we can’t understand yet.
Poor Daniel was so confused by everything, and he just stood on the landing while I sat on his bathroom floor sobbing. I felt so dirty, so ashamed. I let my guard down. I thought I was safe. I thought I would be O.K at Daniels and I came and it was the biggest and most intense orgasm I had ever had. I feel so very ashamed, I felt so angry with myself but you have to understand that I thought it was Daniel, the man I had been with for eighteen months at the time. The man I loved.
Daniel: When that happened I had no idea what was going on. I didn’t think it was anything to do with the haunting. I just thought it was something Lisa had done to herself. No one else had been in the house, I checked that, and I certainly hadn’t done that to her. I did doubt myself that maybe I had touched her in my sleep, you know like sleep walking but with sex? Lisa must have locked herself in my bathroom for hours, just sobbing away.
I started to think that maybe something had happened in her life, something from her past. Maybe she had been abused or been the victim of incest or perhaps raped. Whatever it was I thought I would not turn my back on her. I wanted to support her. Whatever it was, I didn’t care, I love her, I mean loved her. Everyone has a past right? Everyone has secrets and she and I had been together so long that we could work through it; I arrogantly believed I could help her.
At this time I didn’t know about the sexual assaults by spirits or ghosts or whatever they were. I just thought she had some type of episode, some sort of breakdown.
Lisa: I watched the marks on my legs disappear and the numbness in my fanny went. In that moment the last thing you think of is taking a picture. If you saw a picture of handprints on my body would you have believed a ghost had touched me? I didn’t think so. I was in shock and I was still trembling from the orgasm. I felt like I had cheated on Dan. I felt like I was a whore. How could I tell him it was a ghost? How could I tell him that something was following me around and sexually assaulting me? How could I tell him that a ghost had fucked me and I had just enjoyed it? I did the only thing I could think of to protect our relationship. I lied.
Daniel: Lisa eventually came out of the bathroom. She was covered in towels. She wouldn’t let me look at her body; she just gave me a big hug. Her whole body was trembling and I squeezed her so hard and I whispered to her that everything was O.K.
She led me back to the bedroom and we sat on the bed. She looked at me and said that when she was a teenager she would have these sleep panic attacks and sometimes she would hurt herself but sometimes she would masturbate too, really frantically and wake up thinking someone had just had sex with her. She said she hadn’t had one in over twenty years and she was sorry for the way she reacted as it had been a shock as it had been so long since it had last happened. She said she would claw and mark herself while doing so and when she was younger her Mum had to take her to a doctor and for a while she had to take sedatives before bed. She said she didn’t know why it had happened again and thought maybe it was due to smoking the weed or maybe hormonal changes in her body. She said she would go to the Doctor and have a chat.
I held her and said that everything would be O.K. I was relived to be honest as I wasn’t sure if it was me that had done it and I didn’t want people to think I was some kind of sleep rapist or bedtime molester.
Lisa: We went back to bed and I tried to hide my fear and confusion. I had no idea how it had done this. I couldn’t afford to tell Daniel. I couldn’t lose him.
Daniel: I don’t think anything happened for a few weeks. Lisa had said she had gone to the Doctors and hoped it wouldn’t happen again but she said there were no guarantees, but at least I was aware of it. At least it wouldn’t be such a shock again.
Lisa: About a month later we were at mine and we went to bed. We didn’t make love or anything that night. I think we had, had a bottle or two of red and we staggered up to bed and just collapsed in a heap. I woke up in the night and it was happening again, I couldn’t move, I felt literally frozen and I could feel myself so close to climax and then I came, same as before, powerful and intense. Once I came it just suddenly vanished and I was free to move. I didn’t scream and I didn’t cry, I didn’t do anything, I just lay there, my heart racing as Daniel lay next to me snoring. I wanted to shout. I wanted to dash up and put the light on but I lay there and I said nothing. Is it wrong? I could have woke Daniel up and told him I had, had another episode or I could just lie there and he wouldn’t know any different.
I have to admit that lying there in the darkness next to Daniel that I felt like I was having an affair and I felt so sorry for Daniel. He was oblivious to it. I was worried that he would wake me up and maybe feel me down there and feel the icy coldness of where this thing had been.
It was obviously different from the shitty man and I was so grateful for that but it was still wrong. I still had no choice in the matter. It was still rape.
Dan: I never knew until later how frequently it had been going on. I didn’t know that it was a regular occurrence until I witnessed it myself. I was oblivious but I did get the sense, especially at Lisa’s that I was not a welcome presence in her house.
There was an incident when I was locked in the bathroom. I couldn’t get out, it was like someone was holding the door from the other side and the handle to the door was freezing cold and then the door suddenly opened. It was such a stupid situation to be in as Lisa and I were hiding things like this from each other. Neither of us was mentioning the alleged antics for fear of upsetting the other.
One night I woke up and the bedroom was pitch black, there wasn’t even the street light from behind the curtains. I was so disorientated; I was so confused that I actually for a second thought I had gone blind. You know when you wake up and you have no idea what is going on? I used to wake up in the night when I was younger and I had slept on my arm and I couldn’t feel it, it had gone numb, and I would be convinced that it would be chopped off as I had lost all circulation. When you wake up you can just think stupid stuff like that. I wake up and its pitch black. I hear this weird high pitch noise in the room, like an electrical device, and then from the side cabinet my mobile phone gently starts glowing. Not like I’m getting a call or a message but just like something is interfering with it. It happened a few times there. I know it doesn’t sound like the most terrifying thing but it did freak me out.
I remember throwing a pillow across the room one night. I woke up and again it was pitch black, maybe the street light outside had a fault, but my phone was glowing slightly by the side of the bed. I used to think that was like a sign that something was in the room. I looked around the room and as the phone glowed I thought I saw a figure of a man move from the doorway and to the foot of the bed. I panicked and threw the closest thing to hand; a pillow. Like a pillow would protect us? I scrambled and put on the light and Lisa was asleep next to me and I just stared wide eyed into the room. There was no one there. I turned the light off and guess what? The street light is shining in from behind the curtain. I started to believe that the house was definitely haunted but I still hadn’t linked it to Lisa’s sexual episode.
I am not ashamed to admit that when I was younger, probably up to my mid teenage years that I was absolutely afraid of the dark. I hated it. I always used to have my light on and my sisters would alw
ays mock me. I just hated it; it wasn’t so much the dark itself but what could lurk in the dark. There could be anything in it, and I felt vulnerable, at a disadvantage. As I grew older it phased out but I would always try and have a clock radio or my phone by the side of the bed, you know a comfort thing?
There was an evening where Lisa and I had been out with friends and I had been drinking. Not a huge amount but enough that as soon as we got back to hers that I had to have a pint of water before bed. In the night I needed a pee and I clambered out of bed. It was light in the room because of the streetlight and I headed onto the landing and into the bathroom. I put on the light and started to have a slash. Then the light went out. Now there was always some ambient light from outside the bathroom window but it was dark, really dark. You lose night vision after having the light on but this was dark. I couldn’t see anything and I will be honest that I started to panic; I felt disorientated and closed in. I felt something was in there with me. I could imagine awful hands reaching out for me. I could almost hear something breathing in there. I nearly screamed and then the light just flickered back on. Maybe there had been a power cut or maybe being half drunk and in the dark that I had some type of anxiety attack.
I seem to say the words that I felt, all the time but it’s the best way to describe what was happening. I don’t have any video footage or photo’s, only the way it made me feel and I did feel that it was making itself known to me. Maybe it was toying with me; maybe it was trying to push me out or maybe it wanted me to know it was there watching Lisa and I. It was there stood in the dark just watching us as we slept. It was there silent and patient conserving its energy so it could really, really make itself known and what I witnessed that night was unbelievable. It was deplorable and depressing and no one will ever understand what happened to me that night. It affected me for the rest of my life.
Lisa: I guessed it had been focused on Daniel as well as me. One night we were in Bed, we had been asleep maybe a few hours and I woke up and it was happening again, the ghost sex. There was the same icy cold feeling and the build-up of an orgasm. There was never any weight or roughness like in the early days and another thing I had noticed was that it was happening regardless of what I was wearing. It was as if things in our world were not a problem or barrier. So if I had my underwear on or was fully clothed if would still do its thing to me. I was there paralysed and cumming and I didn’t want to wake Dan and as I came I gave a little moan and my whole body trembled as I was released from its grip. I lay there breathing quite heavily and the next thing I heard was Daniel saying, I don’t mind doing that for you. He had been awake the whole time and thought I was just masturbating. I lied to him and said that if I had known he was awake that he could have done it for me and then he started to kiss me and climbed on top of me and we had sex. He even said I was freezing down there and that he could warm it up with his tongue but I just told him to shag me. I had to try and enjoy him but it was not the same, it was not the same experience as before besides the last thing I wanted was sex. I faked an orgasm and he came and he lay beside me and was soon asleep. I am not the sort of person to have multiple partners, to have threesome or gang bangs or whatever they are called but that was what it felt like that night. I started to feel like an object to be used for sex at a whim. It wasn’t Daniels fault, I loved him, but I became less and less interested in sex with him the more the supernatural entity had sex with me.
I couldn’t stop the intruder, I couldn’t so I took it out on Daniel and it was a terrible thing to do to him. The only person I could control sex with was Dan. He had always been so loving and attentive but I couldn’t stand the thought of sex with two partners. Sex should be something special shared between two people and not shared by a third invader. How would you feel if your partner had sex with someone immediately after they had sex with you? Would it turn you on? Would it make you feel inadequate? Would you feel that you were not enough or that there was no emotional connection? I believe that sex is a personal and emotional experience that should be shared by two people that have that connection. If you want to go out and have lots of sex with different people then be single and do it, don’t destroy the trust of someone who thinks the world of you and that loves you unconditionally. I felt like I was cheating on Daniel and to make it worse I was punishing him for the violation that the spirit was undertaking. I was stopping that physicality between us. It was such a messed up situation.
Dan was getting more and more frustrated and concerned, not just in terms of the lack of closeness between us but because I think the ghost was putting more attention on him, making him paranoid and uncomfortable. Daniel actually started to come around to mine much less and even said that it wasn’t because we weren’t having sex as much but because he didn’t feel comfortable staying there like he used too. The house did seem to have a darker presence. You know when there has been an argument and there is that tension in the house; that silence? Well that was what it was like. There was an atmosphere there.
I was losing Daniel and we would have stupid rows over such little things. One night we had a few drinks and we had a row over nothing and Daniel stormed off and got a taxi home. I got it into my head he was flirting with some girl and I went home and I was so hurt and angry with him. I went to bed and woke up and the entity was at me again and I feel so awful for this, I feel such a terrible human being but I was glad and I felt like I was teaching Daniel a lesson for the way he treated me that night. I think…I enjoyed it and after I came I cried and cried. I felt terrible. I remember one woman I worked with wasn’t getting on with her husband and they had a huge row and she went out that night and shagged some stranger. She said she did it to hurt her husband but she regretted it and he ended up finding out and that was the end of the marriage. She said she did it as she felt as if she didn’t exist anymore and she needed to feel desirable, to feel wanted. I felt the same way; I felt I was having an affair. I was having an affair with something that wasn’t even human. I am a despicable person. Every day the guilt runs deep and how that man had to suffer, a good man that would never have hurt me or cheated on me. The moment I let myself enjoy the spirit sex was the moment I ruined what Daniel and I had. It is awful what I put Dan through. I never told him about that night but I didn’t have to. He had to witness much worse, Dan had to watch as it fucked me and he has never been the same since. We have never been the same since.
Daniel: The night it happened, it was horrendous. I can’t explain how such things happen and it has made me question everything. Before I was just a man with an ordinary life, just taking everything for granted and now I can’t sleep at night worrying that thing will get me and knowing what it is doing to Lisa. When we are younger we are taught about God and Jesus. I wasn’t from a particularly religious back ground but we learned enough in junior school for me to believe that there was a God.
I actually enjoyed religious studies. The stories were great when you are a kid. I believed in Jesus and all the miraculous things he did. Now I don’t know if I believe at all. If there was a God or a Christ then how could they allow such evil to stalk people of this earth? How are they allowed to do to people as they will? What happened to Lisa and to me, we didn’t deserve. It is a demon, a monster from Hell and God is just letting it happen. I used think for there to be a hell then there has to be a heaven, but what if there is just a hell? There is just a hell from which these creatures pass into our world and torture us and treat us like inconsequential life forms.
I have had a long time to think about this and I don’t think it is a spirit or a ghost as Lisa call’s it. I have done research and there are encounters with demons that have sexual intercourse with people. They are called Incubus and Succubus among other things. This is what I believe it to be and Lisa has let herself enjoy the pleasures of these things and she is letting them take her soul. When I die, I just want to die and for there to be nothing. I am comfortable with that. I don’t want a heaven or to be re-incarnated, I just want t
here to be nothing, so I am done with these things. I never want to experience anything like this again but every waking moment I think will it try and get me today? That is the only way that I will be ever free from its grasp. If I was not so cowardly then I would have taken my own life. I swear to you know that I have these thoughts on a daily basis. I hate it, I hate it! Why did I ever have to meet her!
Lisa: The night it happened, I can’t imagine how Daniel must have felt. I cry sometimes, even after all this time, to think of him having to see me like that.
Daniel: Imagine that well of anguish you get in your stomach when something goes wrong in your life or that hollow, cold feeling in your chest when you know that the person you love no longer loves you and it’s over. I have that feeling every day. It’s like I am constantly heart broken.
Lisa: We went to bed as normal. I don’t think Daniel was planning to stay that night but I asked him to and we were at that stage that I went to bed before him and he sat downstairs on his own watching T.V. I had killed the intimacy between us, Daniel had not done anything wrong, but it was too much to have both. There was a blur to who was who and I couldn’t distinguish anymore. Daniel was still good to me but there was no physicality any more. We hadn’t had sex in months. The crazy thing is, is that Daniel is such a good man that I would never have accused him or suspected him to cheat on me. I was starving him of an important part of our relationship but I knew he wouldn’t hunger for it in the arms of another woman. He could have back then; he was handsome and charming still, not grey and broken as he is now. He was so loyal and loving. God, that poor man has been through so much.
