She happened to glance at the front door to find Black Cat sitting in front of it. She knew what that meant. Someone was coming. She wasn’t even nervous or frightened; she knew it would be Iain, coming to check on her.
She opened the door and watched him dismount. “No harm has come to me.”
He looked her up and down critically. “I can see that.”
She stepped outside to take the reins of his mount and lead it around the side of the house while Iain followed.
“No sign of Donaldson,” she said, then hesitated before saying the next. “Graham came by.”
“Did he? And what did that daft bugger have to say?”
“He heard about Donaldson and…um…us.”
Iain laughed. “The bastard must have spies in my house. How the hell did he hear about us so quickly?”
“He didn’t say.”
“Is that all he wanted?”
She hesitated again, and Iain’s attention sharpened.
“He has regrets. We’ve reconciled.”
“Ach, Cait. That’s a good thing,” he said softly.
She rubbed the horse’s nose. “It is. I don’t want to get too hopeful, though.”
“Not everyone leaves for good. Some people come back.”
The horse nuzzled her hand, probably looking for a treat. “I know.”
“No, you don’t. But you will. I’m glad you’ve reconciled with your grandfather.”
“I told him that ye helped me these last days and that ye aren’t a bad man. I told him ye had some good ideas about Scotland and he needed to listen to ye.”
Iain’s hopes soared. Who would have guessed that his greatest ally would be Cait Campbell? “And what did he say to that?”
“That he would consider it.”
It was the same thing Graham had said to Iain, and while it was frustrating that Cait hadn’t been able to convince Graham, it was encouraging that he was still thinking on the matter.
They put the horse in an empty stall and made their way back to the cottage, entering through the back kitchen door.
“He’s getting older,” she said, taking up the thread of the conversation again.
“He’s realizing that he’s run damn near everyone off,” Iain said.
“Rory is loyal to him.”
Iain grunted as they walked through the kitchen. “And did you forgive him?”
“I don’t know if I can forgive him, but I can move forward, and he indicated that he was willing to as well. We had a nice chat, and he invited me to visit him.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I’d like to give it a try. I never thought I would be welcome back in my childhood home. He’s…different. Softer.” She laughed. “Don’t ye dare tell him I told ye that.”
Iain grinned. “I’m glad he made an effort toward amends. Now all you need is for MacGregor to do the same.”
“I’ll no’ hold out hopes for that. Graham doesn’t like ye, but MacGregor despises ye.”
Iain shook his head. “All thanks to a ridiculous feud that happened over forty years ago.”
“He’s a stubborn man.”
“Sounds like someone else I know. Come here, Cait.” He sat in the chair in the sitting room and held his hand out to her. She came to him. There was really no question about it. She was drawn to him like Black Cat was to a warm patch of sunlight.
He gently tugged her onto his lap and she happily settled there, her arms draped around his shoulders.
“I missed you today,” he whispered. “I hate being apart from you.”
“Oh, Iain.”
He put a finger to her lips. “I’m just telling you how I feel. Now that you spent the night in my bed, it will never be the same again. I will always think of you as I lie there cold and alone.”
“Ye’re impossible.” But she said it with affection, amazed at how much they thought alike. Just before he arrived, she’d been thinking the same thing.
“And you’re stubborn.”
“Well, ye’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”
“I’ll take what you’re willing to give me.”
It wasn’t right that she was making him live off bits and pieces when he wanted the whole thing. But she was still so frightened.
Frightened of change. Frightened of caring. Frightened of losing yet another person she loved.
He kissed her, drawing her to his lips with a gentle nudge of his hand on the back of her head, and she let her heavy thoughts drift away for the moment.
A sharp knock on the door had her jumping off his lap as if she’d been caught doing something wrong.
With a curse, Iain stood and reached for the pistol in his boot.
Chapter 28
“Mary and Joseph, Campbell! Ye’ll kill someone waving that pistol around,” Sutherland shouted as Iain yanked the door open and shoved his pistol in the man’s face.
Cait covered her mouth to hide her smile but was instantly relieved that it was only Sutherland and not Donaldson banging on her door.
Iain growled a curse and shoved his pistol back in his boot. “What are you doing here, Sutherland? Or need I ask?”
Sutherland looked between Iain and Cait and wisely kept his thoughts to himself. “I wouldn’t ask unless it was dire.”
“Of course,” she said.
“No,” Iain said at the same time.
Cait placed her hand on Iain’s arm. “Iain.”
“Cait,” he said in warning.
“What do ye need?” Cait asked Sutherland.
Iain made a disgusted noise and walked away.
“Ye need help,” she said, drawing Sutherland’s attention back to her.
“Aye.”
“When?”
“They’re hidden down the road.”
“Then bring them in.”
“A warm house and safety are all they ask for.”
“Of course I’ll feed them, too.”
“For the love of God,” Iain exploded from the kitchen. “You can’t keep putting her in danger, Sutherland.”
“If I thought she was in danger, I would no’ be doing this.”
“Iain, it’s fine. I want to help.”
Iain glared at her from across the kitchen. Cait shot Sutherland an apologetic look. “It’s like that, is it?” he asked Iain with a grin as he rocked back on his heels.
Iain glowered at him.
“Bring them in,” Cait said. This was exactly why she wanted to avoid a relationship with Iain Campbell. People were beginning to speculate, and soon everyone would know that she and Iain were together. And Iain was once again trying to tell her what to do. She knew his reaction was because he cared for her, but his oppression was stifling, and she was angry.
“Ye need to stop,” she said to Iain when Sutherland left. “These people need me.”
“This isn’t safe,” he said.
“They’re being hunted. They’re cold, hungry, and scared. They’re being run from their country. I’d like to think they’ll remember Scotland with at least some warmth when they reach Canada.”
Iain seemed ready to argue, then stopped. “I know you’re doing good, but I can’t help not liking it.”
“Ye promised that ye wouldn’t try to change me,” she said. “And the first thing ye don’t like, ye’re telling me what to do. I can’t have a relationship like that, Iain.”
He ran a hand down his face. “I don’t like it, but you’re right.” He dropped his hands and sighed. “Well, my plans for the night are ruined. But I’m staying here.”
“Iain—”
“No arguments. I don’t like that you’re the only woman in a houseful of men.”
“Very well.” She wasn’t going to argue anymore. If it made him feel better to stay the night, then so be it. Besides, she missed him when they were apart.
—
“I don’t want to leave you.” Iain rolled to his side and kissed her.
Cait snuggled into his side. “The
n don’t.”
“I have to. We’re clearing the north field of the debris from the fire today.”
“Then ye must do that.”
“I don’t like leaving you alone.”
“I’m hardly alone. I have four people sleeping in my cellar.”
“That doesn’t make me feel better. Marry me, Cait.”
She drew back in surprise. “Pardon?”
“Marry me. We hate being apart, and I love you.”
She sat up. “What did ye say?” she whispered.
“I said I love you and I want to marry you and I want to stop spending time apart.”
“Iain…” She was breathless with shock. Not expecting this, not ready for this. She needed time to get used to the two of them together, and this was a giant leap forward. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say nothing right now. But please think about it.”
“We’re no’ suited.” She was saying things as she was thinking them, but her thoughts were coming too fast.
“I disagree.”
“How can ye say that? Ye have so many prospects. Ye can make a good match and create a dynasty between England and Scotland.”
“If I’d wanted to, I would have done that years ago. A dynasty doesn’t interest me.” He cupped her face between his hands. “You interest me. I love your independence. I love that you have no fear of speaking your mind, and I have no wish to suppress that. You are your own woman, and I admire that.”
“More than bloodlines and connections?” She was thinking of all the English lasses who would love to have his titles and his wealth. Both England and Scotland would benefit from such a union.
Iain laughed. “You are a combination of MacGregor and Graham. There are no better connections than that, but that’s not why I’m asking you to marry me. I love you, and I want to wake up next to you in the morning and make love to you every night and not worry about what people are saying.”
Tears blurred her vision. His words were beautiful and she believed everything he said. If he’d wanted an alliance with England, he would have made one long ago, but he hadn’t. And an alliance with the MacGregors and Grahams was a coup, although she wasn’t certain that either grandfather would approve. She might cause another rift in both families with this marriage. If she chose to marry him.
“I want to say yes,” she said.
“But what?”
“But…I don’t know. I’m afraid. What if—”
He pressed his finger to her lips. “Life is not guaranteed. We will always lose the ones we love. Whether it be sooner than later is not up to us. All we can do is live our lives to the fullest and enjoy each day as it’s given to us.”
“Ye make it sound so easy.”
“It’s not easy. It’s difficult. Damn difficult. But it’s worth it.”
She’d thought her life was complete. She enjoyed her vocation as a healer. She felt good that she was helping Sutherland and the poor souls who came to her for sanctuary. She had a home that she’d made her own. What Iain was offering was something she had closed her mind and heart to long ago. He was forcing her to rethink everything. To open her life to heartache and possibly grief.
But was life worth living if you allowed yourself to live only half of it?
“I would…” She licked her lips. Her heart was pounding so hard that she was surprised he couldn’t feel it. “I would be open to the possibility.”
“That’s all I can ask at the moment. I know commitments make you nervous, but I promise to dedicate every day to your happiness. If that means leaving you alone because you’re feeling stifled, then I will do so.”
“Ye’re too good to me.”
“And I plan on continuing to be. I love you, Cait Campbell.”
She grinned at him, hardly able to believe that things had changed so quickly. A month ago she would have laughed if someone had told her she was thinking of marrying Iain Campbell. She’d not even liked the man a month ago; she’d thought him a traitor to the Scottish people and distrusted him. But that was before she’d allowed herself to get to know him. She trusted him now. He knew all her secrets and he still wanted her. That meant a lot.
“You’re thinking far too hard for my liking.”
“My thoughts are jumbled.”
He chuckled and began dressing. “Think with your heart, not your mind.”
“I’ll try.”
He kissed her on the forehead. “It’s early yet. Get some sleep. Be careful today. Even though Donaldson is gone, there are other soldiers about. I will return as soon as I can. Probably around nightfall.” He straightened and looked down on her. “I love you.”
He left her with a full heart and a spring to her step. When was the last time she’d looked forward to her day like this?
—
She had just fed her four guests and closed and covered the hidden door when Black Cat took his position at the front door, alerting her that someone was coming.
She hurried to clean up the dishes, feeling like a young lass with her first love. Had Iain decided to come back early? Surely he wasn’t finished with the north field, but she supposed it was possible. Or maybe something had happened and he needed her to supply aid to someone injured. It could also be Sutherland coming to fetch his people, though she doubted that he would arrive in the middle of the day.
She opened the door and stepped out to find that it wasn’t Iain or Sutherland.
It was Donaldson.
She spun around, tripped over Black Cat, and went sprawling, twisting her ankle and crying out as she caught herself with her hands, scraping her palms on the rough stones.
She scrambled up and looked behind her. Donaldson had reined in his horse and was jumping off, his face a mask of fury, his dark close-set eyes glittering.
She stumbled toward the door and was slamming it closed when Donaldson slapped his hand on it and pushed back. Cait threw her weight into the door, but Donaldson was much stronger.
She abandoned the door to race through the kitchen and out the back, her one thought to draw Donaldson away from the refugees hiding in her cellar. There was no doubt that he would catch her. She was much too slow and he was much too fast for her to get away. Her only hope was to draw him into the forest and hide—at least the refugees wouldn’t be discovered.
She raced outside, casting a quick glance at the barn, cursing because her horse was not in the paddock, where she might have been able to mount him and ride off.
The sound of a pistol shot reverberated behind her. Bark exploded from a tree ten feet from her. She ducked and ran to the left, heading for the forest. She knew this land better than anyone and prayed that she could lose Donaldson in the thick foliage. She entered the cool, shadowed forest and veered to the right, then to the left, zigzagging in case Donaldson had another pistol.
She could hear him crashing through the underbrush behind her, cursing and floundering. She ducked beneath a low-hanging branch, her foot catching on a raised tree root that sent her stumbling. She managed to catch herself by grabbing the nearest tree and pushed off it, propelling herself forward.
“Running is useless,” he yelled. “I’ll find you, Mrs. Campbell.”
She swallowed a sob and kept running. Her skirts snagged on branches, slowing her down.
She’d made a terrible mistake. She was heading northeast, and there was nothing for miles in this direction. She should have raced around the front of the house and taken his horse, but all she’d been able to think about was getting him away from the refugees.
Her feet were aching, her shoes not made to run through the forest. She stumbled but forced herself forward, lifting her skirts higher. Her breath was sawing in and out of her lungs, and her side ached but she pressed on.
Until she was grabbed from behind and spun around.
Chapter 29
Cait blindly struck out, but before she could make contact, Donaldson backhanded her. She stumbled backward. With his hand on her shoulder, he held
her steady to deliver another blow to her face. She cried out, her cheek going numb, her vision blurring.
“Bitch,” he ground out. “Because of you, I’ve been banished to the savage regions of the northern Highlands.” He drew his arm back and slapped her open-palmed across the face, jerking her head sideways. She held her arms up to block his blows. “Because of you, I’ve lost the respect of my superiors.” Another slap to the side of the head. She cried out, stars dancing before her eyes, and she felt blood dripping down her cheek. “Because of you, my career is ruined.” This time he curled his fingers into a fist and punched her in the stomach. She folded nearly in half, retching and sobbing.
He wrapped his hand in her hair, which had fallen from its pins, yanking so that her neck was bent backward. He dragged her toward him, causing her to fall against him.
He shoved his face into hers. Spittle clung to the corners of his mouth. His teeth were yellowed, his breath sweet. She would have thought such a monster’s breath would be putrid, but surprisingly, it wasn’t.
“All you had to do was accept my attentions, and everything would have been well and good. But you ran to Palmer. Bloody, righteous Palmer, who spends far too much time with that Scottish bastard Campbell. They’re probably buggering each other.”
She laughed. She couldn’t help it. The blood was rushing through her veins so fast it was making her weak, and all she could do was laugh that Donaldson thought Palmer and Campbell were buggering each other.
He tightened his grip on her hair and she cried out, reaching up to uselessly pull at his hands. Good Lord, but he was going to kill her.
She didn’t want to die. She wanted to live. She wanted what Iain promised her.
He began dragging her and she had no choice but to stumble, half hunched over, behind him, barely able to keep up. She had to stop him. If she didn’t, he would have his way with her and then kill her.
She thought of Iain returning to the cottage to find her missing, the front door open, the back door open. It was a hollow feeling, knowing that she had been right: Eventually, she lost everyone she cared about. Except this time she was the one leaving.
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