by Robin Roseau
I looked up at her. "Go to hell. Fuck the mock proceedings and kill me. Get it over with. That's what's going to happen in the end."
She didn't react, but stared at me for a moment before saying, "I repeat. Every space on this level of the building is being continuously recorded. Do you understand what I have read to you, or do you need me to repeat it?"
"Yes, I understand what you read."
"Your hearing is set to resume in," she checked her watch. "Thirty-four minutes. I have food and water for you, and you may use the facilities if required."
"Yeah, because all that will be so much fun with my arms bound," I told her sarcastically.
"If you are calm and promise to remain reasonably calm, I am allowed to release your arms."
I looked up at her. "This was to prevent a suicide attempt?"
"Yes," she said. "Or other forms of damage."
I laughed at her. "Ask Lara if these bonds would stop me."
"You are currently calm. If I release you, will you remain calm?"
"I am sure there will be more fits of despair, but I am not suicidal, nor will I become suicidal."
Wendy stepped further into the room. She helped me sit up then pulled me to my feet. She released the straps binding my arms then stepped behind me and removed the shackles.
"If you become violent, these will go back on."
"Then you better keep Greg well away from me." I stared her in the eye. "And fuck you, too."
She didn't say anything, but she averted her eyes. I wondered if she was ashamed at her part in these things.
"When did you know this was the plan, Wendy?" I asked her.
"Questions of that nature may only be asked in the hearing room," Wendy stated.
"And if I ask in the hearing room, will you answer there?"
"Questions of that nature may only be asked in the hearing room," she repeated.
"Fine," I spat. I sat back down on the cot. "Go away."
"You must eat," she said. She paused. "If you do not eat or drink, I am obligated to take steps you won't enjoy."
"The prisoner must be healthy when she is executed?" I asked.
"Questions of that nature-"
"Yeah, yeah," I said. "So is this lunch or dinner?"
"A late lunch," she said. "Will you eat willingly?"
I sighed. "Yes."
"Bring it in, Cameron," Wendy said, raising her voice.
Cameron appeared in the doorway carrying a tray. Behind him was another wolf, one I didn't recognize. The second wolf set down a small table in front of me. Cameron added the tray of food and then the second wolf set a bottle of water on the table. The two of them stepped back outside, and I reviewed what I was offered.
There was enough food for a wolf, and it was heavy in protein and starch. There were no greens and no fruit.
"If it is not to your taste, you may make reasonable requests," Wendy said. "We will strive to fulfill them."
"Am I obligated to eat all of this?" I said with a gesture. "I am fox, not wolf. You have eaten with me before. You know how much I eat."
"The cooks don't," Wendy said. "As long as you appear to be eating in a healthy fashion, I will be satisfied."
I picked up the plastic spoon. I ate some of the chicken, choking it down, then some potatoes. I opened the bottle of water and rinsed everything down.
Wendy didn't say anything but simply watched me dispassionately.
I ate maybe a quarter of what they brought me. I couldn't choke down anything more. I pushed it away.
"Finish the water," she ordered. I nursed it slowly.
"Fruits and vegetables," I said. "A variety." I looked up at Wendy, and she nodded.
"Anything else?"
"Nothing fried, greasy or heavy."
I took another sip of water. Wendy checked her watch.
"Do you have somewhere to be?" I asked her.
"Ten minutes," she said. "I thought perhaps you would prefer to use the facilities."
I climbed to my feet and finished the water.
"There is more water in the hearing room," she said. "Leave all that here; someone will take it away. Cameron and I will accompany you whenever you are outside your cell or the hearing room."
"So Cameron is going to watch me use the toilet?"
"No. But I am."
"Lest I club myself over the head with the seat?"
"Yes."
"I wouldn't want to steal your pleasure," I said. "I know how wolves feel about abusing foxes. I should have known I was wrong when I thought any of you were different." I didn't bother to even look at her to see if she reacted.
I held out my arm.
Wendy took the offered arm then said, "Cameron."
He was waiting outside. He stepped into the cell, took my other arm, and the two of them marched me out of my cell and down the hall, opposite the hearing room. The room at the end was a bathroom, complete with shower, sink and toilet. There was no curtain over the shower.
"Is this room recorded?" I asked.
"All spaces on this floor are recorded," Wendy said.
"Fine. Fuck you both," I said. I dropped my slacks and sat down. Cameron turned around quickly, but Wendy watched me carefully. I finished and washed up.
"I imagine I stink," I said. "Do I have time to clean at the sink?"
"Four minutes," she said. "So no more than two. You will arrive on time whether you are ready or not."
I unbuttoned the blouse and used a hand towel to wash what I could quickly wash, ending with my face. I dried with another towel and buttoned quickly.
"May I bring this towel with me, Wendy?" I asked. She studied me for a moment then nodded.
I stepped forward. Wendy and Cameron took my arms, and I was marched back to the hearing room.
Everyone was waiting for me, and there was even a chair waiting for me at the end. Wendy and Cameron led me to the chair, waited until I sat, then stepped away.
Daniel waited a moment then said in a firm voice, "If everyone is ready, I believe we may proceed."
"I have questions," I said immediately. "Am I allowed to ask them?"
He pursed his lips. "Perhaps I can anticipate some and answer them. This is an informal hearing. The evidence against you will be presented. You will remain quiet. When all the evidence has been presented, you may offer your defense. This is not a human court, and we do not follow human proceedings. You may ask questions of anyone in the room. If you require anyone not present, we will make all reasonable effort to present him or her. That may be via telephone. If you require evidence you are unable to obtain while in custody, you may describe the evidence you require and where it may be found. I will decide whether we will take your word for the existence of this evidence or require it to be collected."
"Will anyone not currently in attendance be later presenting evidence against me?"
"Only if it is in response to your defense."
"Will everyone currently here remain available until these proceedings have completed?" I asked.
"Yes."
I studied the room for a moment.
"I have other questions."
"You may ask them. I will not be pleased if you waste our time or use your questions for speechmaking."
"I would like to understand why I am not allowed reasonable privacy outside these hearing rooms."
Daniel looked at Lara for a moment then turned back to me. "We will not suffer charges of collusion in your defense."
"In other words, I am on my own, and you are afraid someone would coach me."
"Yes."
"And when I am alone, or using the facilities?"
"We understand there is a severe emotional trauma associated with these hearings. We do not wish that emotional trauma to end these hearings precipitously."
"In other words, you're afraid I'll kill myself?"
"Not afraid," Daniel clarified. "Simply cautious."
I smiled at him. "Well then, perhaps you would indulge me for only another
moment or three."
He cocked an eyebrow.
"No," said Lara. "Alpha, if Michaela wishes to kill herself, there is no power on earth that is going to stop her. Give her whatever privacy seems reasonable."
"No," said Greg immediately. "Lima Consulting is responsible for the prisoner's well-being until the completion of these hearings, and we will not take chances."
"So you intend to drug me?" I asked. "I guess if we're all admitting these hearings are a sham, drugging me won't matter to the outcome."
"These hearings are not a sham!" Daniel thundered. "You question my honor!"
I studied him and then said very clearly, "Given the way I have been treated so far, I question the honor of everyone in the room. Every single one of you. But you are wolves; what else should I expect? I should have known you weren't any different than the ones who once killed my babies. None of you."
"Michaela," Angel said, almost a whine.
"Silence!" Daniel bellowed.
"With the exception of some of the less notable names present," I stated, "I have been treated with extreme dishonesty by everyone in the room, you not least of all, Alpha. Yes, I question your honor!" It was my turn to yell.
The room grew silent. Daniel studied me, not saying anything, but his face was flushed and his jaw drew tight.
Brooke put her hand on his arm. He glanced down at her, and they exchanged silent communication. He nodded to her, and when he faced me, he was notably calmer.
"Your complaint is noted," he said. "And understandable. I will state clearly and simply: these are honest hearings. You have not been pre-judged. You will be tried based on the evidence presented here."
We stared at each other. "Well then, if I am to receive a fair hearing, and I am the only voice to speak in my defense, then I believe drugging me would be inappropriate. Are we agreed?"
"Greg," Lara said. "Let this go."
"No," he said. "I am responsible for her."
"No, Mr. Freund, you are not. I am responsible for my own safety. I do not know why all of you continue to argue with me on that point." I turned back to Daniel. "Alpha, are we agreed I will not be drugged?"
"Of course you will not be drugged," he said. "But if you are a danger to yourself, you will be restrained."
"As if that could stop her," Elisabeth said under her breath.
"Silence!" Daniel ordered her.
"Well then, I guess we are left with a demonstration." I was still holding the towel. "Greg, how many of your wolves will it take to prevent me from injuring myself?"
"Cameron and Wendy are sufficient," he stated.
Elisabeth shook her head.
"Madison Alpha," I stated. "I believe I am about to demonstrate a pack secret. Will this add to my charges? If so, then I request you resolve this without my demonstration."
"Greg, please, you can't stop her," Lara said.
"I am responsible for her safety," Greg repeated.
I sighed.
"Madison Alpha, I request immunity from prosecution for what I am about to demonstrate."
"Michaela," Lara said. "Please don't do this."
"I won't kill myself," I said. "I request immunity."
She sighed and nodded.
"I need to hear you say it."
"You have immunity," she said.
"Boulder alpha, do you also guarantee immunity?"
"Are you going to hurt anyone?"
"Only myself, and no more than I am able to heal. I believe your head enforcer can attest to my healing ability."
"Then you have immunity."
"Mr. Freund," I said. "Everyone underestimates me. Even you." I reached behind me, offering the towel to Wendy. I looked over my shoulder at her. "If you knock me out, I won't be able to heal it afterwards. Take that into consideration."
Then I looked down at my wrist and, with a thought, opened it wide.
I hissed with the pain as the blood began to bubble and spurt from the wound. Wendy dashed forth and wrapped the towel around my wrist. It quickly turned crimson.
I looked at the other one, and a fresh cut appeared there.
"Stop it!" Wendy yelled into my ear. "Michaela! Stop it!" She grabbed my other wrist, wrapping it in the towel as well.
I grimaced from the pain, but I looked at Greg. He held a shocked expression. "Perhaps you would prefer to see my throat slit instead? Or maybe I should close my eyes?" I closed my eyes and formed a new, shallower cut on my upper arm."
"Stop it!" Lara yelled. "Michaela, heal those!"
I opened my eyes and looked at her. "I don't take orders from you," I said. "Not after you banished me."
There was an intake of breath, but no one spoke.
"Greg, are you satisfied?"
"Shift and heal them," he said.
I looked down at my arm and healed the shallow cut. "Wendy, I need to see, left one first."
She released my left arm from the towel. I began healing it, and the wound closed. Then I pulled the right from her and healed that one.
I looked at Greg. "It's a lot like healing. Now, short of drugging me, do you think you could stop me if I decided to commit suicide?"
"No," he said in a small voice.
"Well then, I presume I will be offered a reasonable modicum of privacy when I am alone in my cell and when I am using the facilities. Are we agreed?"
"Yes," he said. "If the alphas agree."
"Yes," Lara said immediately.
"Yes," said Daniel. "But there must be no collusion. Recordings will be turned on from the moment your cell door is opened until you are returned to your cell. The recordings will be turned off in the bathroom, but no one may accompany you."
"Thank you," I said.
"Did you have other questions before we may proceed?"
"Just one more," I said. "I would like to know when the people in this room knew these hearings were going to occur."
Daniel studied me. "In what way is that pertinent?"
"I don't know," I said. "As I am left deeply in the dark about everything that is happening, I can't judge what is pertinent, what is not."
Daniel was the only person who could look me in the eye, which meant to me that everyone had known for quite some time. I wanted a complete answer.
"Return the prisoner to her cell," Daniel said. "We will discuss this issue."
"Closed door hearings. Yes, I can see that I will receive a fair trial. But you are wolves, so I should have expected betrayal."
But I turned my back on him and walked to the door, waiting for my keepers to catch up. Wendy and Cameron stepped up on either side of me, each firmly taking an arm, and then another wolf opened the door. Without a word, I was marched to my cell. I stepped inside, and the door closed.
I immediately deflated.
I crossed the short distance to the cot and curled into a ball.
I wondered why Lara hated me this badly. I wondered why everyone else had helped her. I wondered what happened to Greg's vaunted honesty; that alone told me I wasn't going to be set free. He wouldn't risk my spreading rumors he couldn't be trusted.
I wondered why they had taken so long.
I wondered why I had been given the assignment to guard Suzanne for nearly two weeks. Were they just getting me out of the way while they set this up? It didn't seem like it would have required that type of setup.
I wondered why, if Lara wanted me dead, she had cared whether I demonstrated my ability to harm myself as readily as I could heal.
I thought about that. Was it so important she find me guilty first? Why would that matter, if she was so angry as to bring these charges against me in the first place.
I wondered why Christopher West and Albert Stein were here instead of more respected members of the council.
I wondered whether these were questions I should be asking out loud.
I wasn't left alone very long, perhaps twenty-five minutes. The door opened and Wendy stepped in. "They're ready."
I climbed back to my feet a
nd stood in front of her. "You don't have to say a word. These proceedings are a sham. There is no way Greg would risk his reputation for this duplicity if I could possibly live to tell the truth. I have nothing else to lose. You have helped take everything left to me. I hope you all rot in hell."
She rocked back, horror crossing her face. She was about to say something, then clamped her mouth shut. Instead, she took my arm, Cameron on the other, and they marched me to the hearing room.
Everyone waited for me, and no one looked me in the eye. So they didn't intend to answer my last question. So be it.
I took my seat.
"Boulder Alpha," Wendy said immediately. "Before we proceed, I believe I must relay something I was just told in the hallway."
I didn't even bother looking at her.
"If it were pertinent, it should not have been discussed in the hallway," Daniel said immediately.
"You make your rules, I make mine," I said. "I will say whatever I want, whenever I want, where ever I want. If you don't like it, you can add to my charges."
"It was not a conversation," Wendy said. "It was a statement by Ms. Burns. I believe it is relevant."
Daniel studied me. "Then perhaps she should repeat it."
So I did.
I could tell not a single one of them had considered it. I couldn't believe it. Even Greg looked startled by my statement.
I gave them a moment to think about it before crossing my arms. "Now, Alpha," I said directly to Daniel. "What was that about this hearing not being a sham? No one in this room expects me to go free, or at least Greg doesn't. And I don't believe Lara would have asked him to take part in this if she believed I would live to spread the word."
Daniel considered me. I could hear his heart beating more rapidly than normal. So were about half the heartbeats in the room.
"Ms. Burns," Daniel said eventually. "Your logic has some merit. But I will state again. These are honest hearings. I have come to these proceedings as impartial as possible, and the results are not a forgone conclusion. You have enough facts to search for other possible conclusions. I will not address this issue again."
I shrugged. It didn't matter. They were about to deny an answer to my previous question, and I was going to do what I was going to do, and that would be that.
"Regarding the question you asked. We do not believe the answer is pertinent and we will not be answering."
