by Sadie Grubor
I thought setting up her family photographs around the house would help her settle in quicker, but she still treats herself like an outsider. During dinner a few nights ago, I mentioned redoing the master bathroom. The girls were full of ideas, but Sid sat quietly. When I pressed for her thoughts, she just shrugged and said it was up to me.
So, I hope hanging the picture of our kiss at the airport in her office will help get her there. It certainly brought out her softer side—the side she doesn't show very often—if only just for a moment.
"How much farther?" Sid asks for the second time.
Her excitement makes me smile. "Soon," I say, giving her the same response again.
When I told her last night I was taking her to Stonehard Production Studios, at the suggestion of my mother, I never thought I'd get her to sleep. Thankfully, a couple hours of Conan versus Xena and we both passed out.
I still can't believe she's got me calling my dick Conan.
She even made me watch every damn movie a few nights ago, starting with The Barbarian all the way up to the revamped version.
"Are you going to be able to keep your hands to yourself?" I tease.
"Um, no," she replies instantly. "One person says, 'check this out' or 'feel this' or 'do you want to touch it', I am so doing it."
"I'm not sure I'm okay with that," I confess.
The silence worries me, and for the first time, I have to wonder if I'm the prude in the relationship. To test this, I decide to flip the scenario.
"Okay, let's say I go in there and touch whoever. You going to be okay with that?"
Giving her a quick glance, I can see she's thinking it over.
"Yeah, I'm okay with that," she responds.
In my peripheral, I watch her nod.
"Really?" It comes out a bit harsher than intended.
"Why would I get mad?" She has the nerve to ask like I'm stupid.
"Oh, I don't know, maybe because you'd prefer me not to touch other women since I belong to you. Just something like that," I exaggerate, giving a one-shoulder shrug.
Since when are you so fucking upset about being able to touch other women? Isn't this what a lot of men want, the free pass?
"Hey, I've licked nothing," she states, drawing my attention from the road to her face.
She's fucking laughing.
Chills pass over me. She has a point. Not once has she given me any indication of being possessive or territorial. Don't get me wrong, I do not want some crazy woman obsessing over who I talk to or who I'm texting, but…
Is it wrong to want to know she wants me as much as I want her? All mine, just mine, no one else.
After pulling myself out of my thoughts, I remind her.
"My neck?"
"Okay, your neck and mouth, but we're talking hands. I'm not going to lick…" her sentence trails off.
"Your mouth isn't going on anyone else, Sid," I enlighten her.
"Okay, okay," she concedes, "hands only."
"So, I can touch whoever I want while we're there?"
"As long as you're an equal gender offender, yes," she clarifies.
"Equal gender offender," I say out loud, processing.
"Yeah, I'm sure I'll be touching more women than men." Again, I get the duh inflection.
"Christ," I say with a sigh, "what the hell was I thinking bringing you here?"
"That you love me enough to show me, in person, porno poon and peni," she offers with a large grin.
"Peni?"
"Yeah, I'm not sure that's the plural for penis, but I enjoy saying it."
"I have a bad feeling I'm going to regret this."
I park the car and she's out before I can unbuckle my seat belt.
Inside at the reception desk, we do the sign in with Naomi and I send a text to my sister, Kami, and my father's assistant, Leah, before I take Sid to the production studio behind the building.
We step onto the back lot and into the warm, cloud-free day.
"Bright light, bright light," Sid repeats, shading her eyes.
"I told you to wear sunglasses," I say with a laugh.
"Pennsylvania doesn't try to blind me," she grumbles, shoving her elbow into my arm.
"Woohoo," my mother's trademark shout carries across the parking lot.
Both of us jerk our heads toward her.
"There you two are." Her heels click against the blacktop with her quick steps. "We thought maybe you changed your mind." She motions over her shoulder at my sister, Kami.
Mom reaches us first, grabbing my arm and pulling me down so she can press her painted lips to my cheek.
"Momma's boy arrived," Kami teases.
"Leave him alone," Mom warns, moving on to Sid.
She wraps her arms around her tight.
Sid's eyes meet mine, and she mouths, "Best day ever." Then, she embraces my mother and lays her head against the boobs she's almost eye level with.
Looking away from where my girlfriend fantasizes about my mom, I meet Kami's eyes. In unspoken communication, I raise my brow.
She returns the brow raise and purses her lips.
Christ, looks like she's going to go into bitch mode.
Mom releases Sid, but slides an arm around her shoulders.
"Let's go check out the set," she says, guiding Sid toward the large building.
The metal structure holds multiple sound stages for different projects going on, along with a few webcam rooms for the live chats and occasional live performance. Sometimes, some projects take the actors and crew to an onsite location.
Stepping inside, I slip my shades to the top of my head.
"Huh," Sid says, her neck twisting and turning in every direction.
"Not what you expected?" I ask, trying not to laugh.
"No," she responds honestly.
"It's not an orgy," Kami snaps, walking by them.
"I didn't expect an orgy," Sid responds before I can say anything to my bitchy sister. "I mean, if you're willing to walk in here with the stick up your ass, clearly there can't be too much going on."
Sid slides out from under my mother's arm and brushes by my stunned sister.
Taking quick steps, I catch up and throw my arm over her shoulders.
"Sorry," she mumbles.
"For what?" I give her a squeeze. "She was a bitch."
"Still…"
"Still, nothing," my mother says as she steps up to Sid's other side. "It's about time you act like yourself around her."
Sid's eyes round and her mouth parts.
"She's my baby girl, but I know my daughter," Mom whispers.
"They're shooting in studio three." Kami rejoins our group, a little less attitude about her.
Following Kami, she takes us through the open space filled with lighting equipment, extra cameras, and long couches occupied by a few of the crew and some actors. The far wall holds a long table with coffee, different foods, and beverages.
"Cherry," a female calls out, loudly.
We stop and the tall, leggy blonde sashays over from the seating area.
Fuck. She had to be here today. It was one time, way too many years ago, and she only just started making advances this past year. She wraps her arms around my mother and gives her an air kiss before pulling away and looking at me.
"Xavier," she hums appreciatively, running a hand up my arm.
"Ambria." I smile and give a nod.
This would be an opportunity to see how Sid will react.
The thought enters my mind just as quickly as I shove it away.
I'm not some fucking high school kid.
"It's been a long time," she purrs, stepping closer.
Her large enhanced breasts almost press to the arm she's still touching.
"Yeah," I agree, "a few years."
"How are the girls?"
"They're…" I hesitate, confused.
She's never met my daughters.
"Good," I finally finish, and pull Sid closer to my side.
"Manhandling,"
Sid grumbles, pushing against me.
Ambria finally acknowledges the woman at my side.
"Who's this?" she asks, her voice tight.
"Ambria, this is Sidra," I introduce, squeezing Sid's shoulders. "Sid, this is—"
"Ambria Jones," Sid breathes out her name, moving out from under my arm. "Your MILF series was amazing. My followers and I were so disappointed when it ended."
"Followers?" I interrupt.
"Yeah," she waves me off, "I used to run a blog discussion group."
"You're in the business?" Ambria asks, looking her up and down.
I don't miss the slight blush of Sid's neck or the way she crosses her arms over her body.
"No," she chokes out. Then, she pulls herself together and sounds more like herself when she adds, "Just a big fan."
"Oh, how sweet," Ambria says, her tone patronizing.
"It was good to see you, Ambria," Kami's cold dismissal surprises me.
The rounding of Ambria's eyes reveals her shock as well, but then it melts into a malicious smile.
"It was good to see you," she says, sweet as can be to my mother. "Nice to meet you," she dismisses Sid. "Xavier," she turns to me, pressing her boobs against my arm, "see you again soon." Her words are a promise.
As we walk away, Sid's silence eats at me.
The amount of pleasure spiking through my system at the thought of her being pissed because of Ambria, or even jealous, should make me feel ashamed, but I don't. At the moment, I really can't feel sorry for it.
To break the uncomfortable silence, I decide to press her about the blog she mentioned.
"A blog?"
"Yes," she answers, still not looking at me. "Rotten Bananas ran for—"
"Wait," Kami blurts, spinning around to face Sid. "You owned Rotten Bananas?"
The awe on my sister's face is an unfamiliar sight.
"Yeah," Sid answers, shrugging. "There was a group of us, but I was one of five adult bloggers."
"The same blog that was sold to Playboy?" she chokes out the question.
Sid confirms with a nod, making my mouth drop open.
"Exactly how much money are you worth?" Kami asks.
"Kamila," Mom warns.
Sid snorts.
"Not as much as you think," she answers. "I gave most of the money to my parents."
She falls silent and hugs herself.
"They had some rough times because of me, so…" she lets the explanation drop.
Reaching out, I pull her back to my chest and wrap my arm around her waist.
"But it rumored to sell for seven figures," Kami continues, disbelief still on her face.
Sid nods.
"Yes, but there were taxes, five people, as well as three more who came out of the woodwork to file claims on the money. You know how it goes, I'm sure."
Kami's eyes move from Sid to me, still wide. I just grin.
"Let's get to the studio before they wrap," Mom interjects, ushering us to the door.
Epilogue
Sidra
"Yes, Pittsburgh is on schedule for the gender-specific line," I assure Sherry, again.
A week after the porn studio visit, we'd agreed to the final proposal—moving the Toy BoXXXTM production to a Nevada location, while using Pennsylvania for PinkBoXXXTM and ToolBoXXXTM.
"Good, Nevada's production of Toy BoXXX seems to be doing well with the increase in orders." Papers rustle on the other end of the phone.
"Yes," I nod, though she can't see me. "They've actually been able to increase turnout and the production cost is down."
"Do we have the reports from Pittsburgh yet?"
"Not yet," I roll my eyes. "They just started the first run. I should have the first reports in a week."
Sherry had been hesitant to stay with my original company, but I felt a responsibility to the people who work there on the production line. Besides, now that I have Sherry and her team of people working with me, the customer service and logistical issues are a thing of the past. Sure, we had hiccups and bumps along the way, but it was much smoother now.
"What time will you and Xavier arrive Saturday?" she asks, changing the subject.
"One o'clock, just like you asked."
"I wish we could've kept it a surprise," she pouts through the phone.
Sherry had wanted a surprise party for Xavier's thirty-eighth birthday party, but he figured it out.
"Me, too," I quickly respond, guilt weighing on my chest.
"I still don't know how he figured it out," she sighs.
"Me either," I lie.
Her son reads me too well and is too damn possessive—that's how and why.
Between my private calls, whispering with his mother and sisters, along with Sherry being too anal and sending me a ridiculous amount of emails I could barely keep up with deleting, he got suspicious and, a week ago, decided it was confrontation time.
Xavier is not above sexual torture tactics. While it was hot as hell the way he held me down, growled, and fucked me so close to explosion, only to literally pull away and leave me panting, I've got to admit, I grew a bit concerned. It wasn't until I confessed the party did I realize his imagination had run much wilder. He actually thought I might be seeing or fucking someone else.
Unable to believe he could think I would ever do that and being my asshole self, I teased him about his wild imagination and jealousy.
Instead of the banter I'm used to with us, he responded with, "I wouldn't expect you to understand anything about being jealous."
It wasn't just his words, it was the cool, disapproving tone to his words.
The look on my face must have given away my shock and hurt—a hurt I was confused by.
"Never mind," he barked, climbing off the bed and yanking his pants on. "Ignore me. I'm being ridiculous."
"Wait," I blurt before he could walk away. "You're angry because I'm not jealous? What am I supposed to be jealous about?"
Sitting there, I wracked my brain through the prior weeks and the only thing I could think of was from weeks earlier at the porn studio.
"Is this about Ambria?" The question popped out before I could try to stop it.
His back to me, I watched his shoulders tense. Then, he ran his hands through his hair and turned to face me.
"Yes and no," he admitted.
"You want me to be jealous?"
I couldn't understand. It didn't make sense, not to me.
"It's stupid," he says, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm acting like an idiot."
Then, and I'm still not sure where it came from, it hit me like a big dick to the cheek.
He's made it very clear I'm his. He's always touching me, showing me—made his very public declaration. I never expected him to want that in return; that it was something I should do. I so suck at all this.
Pushing onto my knees and holding the white sheet to my body, I shuffled across the bed. With one hand, I reached up and cupped the left side of his face. His eyes closed. The hair of his beard tickled my palm in a familiar way, making my stomach flutter.
"I'm being a pussy," he said with a sigh. "Just forget it."
"Xavier," I said, just above a whisper. "Please, look at me."
This time, no hands over his face.
His lids slowly peeled back, revealing his bright hazel eyes.
Releasing the sheet, I brought my other hand to his face. Holding him in place, I licked my lips and steeled my resolve.
"I'm not jealous," I admit.
He tried to pull his head away, but I held it in place. His face pinched.
"With you, there's no reason for me to be," I finished. "Don't you see? I know, like I've never known anything else before, I don't have to be with you."
The hard lines of his face melted away and I found myself on my back once again.
"Sid?" Sherry asks in a way that I'm sure isn't the first.
"Sorry, got distracted by an email from Red," I lie about the distraction, not the email.
&nbs
p; Red emailed earlier with a reminder of the schedule he put in place and needing me to come to the club tomorrow to take some new photos of the girls, especially the ones he recently hired.
"Okay, well, I've got to get going. Duncan and I have a dinner to attend. I'll see you on Saturday."
"Yep," I confirm—again.
We disconnect as Xavier strolls into my office.
"Hey," I greet.
He says nothing. Instead, he walks over, spins my chair, and leans over me. His mouth presses to mine. When he palms my boobs through my t-shirt, I slap his hands away and break the kiss.
"The girls are right down the hall," I scold.
He grins and straightens. His eyes fall on my computer screen…well, the first of the three screens.
"You have to go to the club?" he asks, returning his eyes to me.
"Yeah," I say on an exhale. "Have to take new shots of the girls tomorrow."
He nods, then reaches his hand out.
"Girls want to watch some chick flick," he wiggles his fingers, "come on."
I stare at his hand.
"Why do I always have to suffer through the teenage girl crap they want to watch?" I raise one brow at him.
"I need you there for support." He bends just enough to grab my arm and pull me out of my chair.
"You just want to grope me under a blanket," I accuse as he shoves me out the office.
Coming up behind me, he brings both hands to my boobs and grabs. "These are the only reason I can make it through the movies they watch."
"And we have to make it through their movies why?" I grumble, stumbling down the hall because he won't release my tits.
"Because I have to spend quality time with my daughters. Don't you want to help me bond with my girls?" he asks with a fake gasp.
"So, you bond with your kids while playing with my boobs? That's sort of messed up."
"Yeah, a little," he admits. "But," he continues, "it's better than me doing this…"
His hand shoots downward and cups between my legs.
"Really?"
"I just want to touch it before it's off limits for two hours," he says, no shame in his voice at all.
"It's two hours," I whine.
