by M. H. Soars
The moment for our speeches arrive and I go first. My hand is shaking as I unfold the little piece of paper with the words I wrote last night. It happens then. All of the emotions I’ve been trying to suppress come up to the surface like a geyser. I get choked up and I can’t find my voice, I can’t even read what I wrote. I look at Liv through blurred vision, trying to keep the tears from falling. I didn’t realize until now that this is probably the last time I’ll see all of my friends together. This is my goodbye and no one knows it.
I hold the mic tight in my hands.
“Liv, last night I spent hours trying to write something inspirational, something worthy of this occasion. But no words can convey how I feel to see you and Sebastian together like this. I’d like to say I was your biggest cheerleader, that I was the key piece for bringing you two together. I mean, I did put that tiny jeans skirt in your suitcase.”
Liv laughs at this and Sebastian kisses her cheek.
“But that would be a lie. You two were meant to be together with or without my intervention. No matter how many curve balls were thrown in your way, you survived, and your love stayed true. I want you to know that I will always be there for you in any form, any way,” my voice fails and I have to take a deep breath in order to continue. I raise my champagne glass. “Liv and Sebastian. I love you both with all my heart and I wish many, many years of happiness to you. You deserve it. Cheers.”
I take a sip of champagne and sit down, glad that I was able to get through my speech without bawling my eyes out.
Oliver’s turn is next.
“I would to like start off by saying that I’ve seen Liv wearing that infamous jeans skirt and I vouch for it. It’s killer.”
People laugh and Sebastian backhands Oliver on his stomach.
“Ouch, this is going well. I’ve already been attacked by the groom. Okay, I’ll try to stay clear of Liv’s wardrobe. Seriously now. I have a confession to make. Liv.” He looks her way. “I didn’t like you very much in the beginning.”
Liv’s jaw drops and Sebastian’s eyes turn to slits. But there are chuckles all around. I lean on my elbows and wait to see where Oliver is going with this.
“You have to understand. Bas was my wing man, my partner in crime. When you came back into his life, he lost his mind. Shit, I’m rhyming now. It’s the bloody champagne.”
More laughs. I never knew Oliver to be a clown.
“Anyway, my animosity towards you didn’t last very long. I just had to see you and Bas together to understand why he could never forget you, why he could never let you go. It’s not only because you are a very special girl, or because you tolerate my presence. You are his person. So, I’m not only happy that you gave him a second chance, I’m thankful. I don’t think I would have survived my senior years hanging out with emo Sebastian.”
Oliver raises his champagne flute. “To Liv and Sebastian, may your journey together be smooth sailing from now on. Cheers.”
He sits down again and seeks my face. I raise my glass in salute to his speech and he winks at me. Such a small, innocent gesture, but I have to look away to hide the elation that my face is probably showing.
Just one more night.
After dinner, the band kicks off the party with a repertoire of popular songs that appeal to all generations. Booze is flowing freely, which makes people even more prone to let it out on the dance floor. When the band plays a fifties hop medley, Oliver pulls me into his arms and we dance together. I’m not only drunk on alcohol, I’m drunk on him, on the atmosphere. I let happiness overflow freely through my chest. I let myself pretend that I could go on feeling like this forever.
Oliver twirls me around and brings me close to his body, keeping me in that locked tight position to whisper in my ear, “Are you ready for our little surprise?”
“Yes.”
He spins me again before he drags me to the stage, interrupting the band. We had it all arranged before with the musicians, but everyone else is clueless. All eyes are on us. Liv and Sebastian move closer to the stage, curious to see what the maid of honor and the best man have up their sleeves. Oliver pulls the mic from the stand while I get a second one from the bass player.
“Good evening, everybody. Sorry to interrupt the party, but Saylor and I have a surprise for the newlyweds.”
“You better keep it G-rated, Ollie,” Sebastian shouts.
Oliver chuckles. “Mate, do you remember what we had to wear to sneak into that karaoke bar so you could surprise Liv on her birthday?”
Liv and Sebastian look at each other and smile.
“Well, the lovely maid of honor here thought it would be wicked if we paid a tribute to that valid effort.”
On cue, the band begins to play the intro to I Was Made For Loving You by Kiss. The crowd goes nuts and everybody runs to the dance floor. I had been thinking about my friends when I suggested this song, but right here on this stage, all I can think about is the man next to me. We sing staring into each other eyes, and I mean every syllable, and every word of the lyrics. I’m singing to Oliver.
The song ends, but the rush doesn’t leave my body. My heart is still beating at a hundred miles an hour as I try to catch my breath, as I try to deal with the undeniable truth. In another lifetime, Oliver could have been my person.
He is also breathless, staring at me with a smile that I know, without a doubt, it’s mine exclusively. I can also tell that Oliver is a second away from breaching the gap between us and attacking my mouth. And I’m desperate for it, so much so, that I can’t handle the emotion. I panic and run off the stage, out of that ballroom.
I don’t realize I’m crying until I hit the elevators and press the buttons more than once, as if me pushing them non-stop is going to make them come down faster. One finally arrives and I slide into it before the doors have finished open. I push the button to my floor and let out a relieved sigh when the doors begin to shut again. But an arm breaches through the gap, forcing them open. Oliver followed me.
His eyes convey too many emotions for me to guess what’s going on in his mind. He comes in and the doors shut, trapping me with this impossible man. I can’t breathe and my heart seems to have gotten stuck in my throat. I take a step back until I hit the paneled wall. Oliver breaches the gap between us and braces his hands on each side of my head, leaning forward and effectively caging me in with his frame.
“Why did you run away?”
“I didn’t.”
“Don’t lie to me, sugar. I can still see the panic in your beautiful eyes. What are you afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid of anything. I just have a migraine.”
Oliver steps back and frowns, while a hint of worry flashes in his gaze. I feel terrible for the lie. He touches my temple, then glides his fingers down my cheeks, wiping the moisture from the tears. I close my eyes and part my lips.
“I want to kiss you so fucking bad. Will it make it worse?”
I want to shout yes, it would make things so much worse for me, but I realize he’s referring to my fake migraine.
I open my eyes and it breaks me to turn him down. “Oliver, I can’t.”
When the elevator arrives on my floor, I push Oliver out of the way and sprint down the corridor. He follows me and by the time I get my door open and enter the darkened hotel suite, I don’t have any strength left to fight him.
He turns me around and captures my face between his hands. “Saylor, you don’t have to be afraid. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Please, you don’t understand.”
“You think I don’t, but I do. I know, Saylor, I know.”
I take a step back as confusion clouds my brain. “What are you talking about?”
“Bas told me about what happened to you. I’m so fucking sorry you had to go through that hell. You have no idea. And for the record, if you hadn’t killed that monster, I would have done that for you.”
Oliver invades my space once more, and his warm hands find their way to my naked shoulders. But
I’m in too much shock to move or to rejoice at his touch.
“I’m not afraid of your past and I repeat what I said before. I’m not going anywhere.”
A swell of emotions crashes over me and sweeps me away. Caught in the whirlpool, I don’t know which way the surface is, and I lose it. I let out a sob before breaking down in front Oliver. The tears come fast and furious. He pulls me close, his arms wrapping around my body in a fierce hug.
I cry until there’s nothing left. I cry until I’m an empty shell. And Oliver doesn’t waver, he doesn’t leave.
I don’t know who kisses whom first, but now we fight to get rid of our clothes, to connect skin to skin in a mad frenzy as if our lives depend on it. My back hits the soft mattress as my body welcomes Oliver’s weight on top of me. We fit so perfectly together, it’s like we were made for each other. My skin hums upon his touch, my heart sings when he penetrates me. And with each caress, with each breathless whisper in my ear, he destroys me a little more.
Much later, when he’s deep asleep, I push his arm from around my waist and slide out of bed. I give myself a moment to stare at him, to memorize every single detail of his face, of his body.
I love this man. I love him so much that I have no choice but to let him go. My heart is in shreds, bleeding, but I can’t be weak, I can’t be selfish.
I put on the first clothes that I see, grab my purse, and leave. I don’t care about the rest. I can ask one of the girls to pack what I left behind. I just have to get off of this island, escape his presence. I cannot let him say anything else to me, I cannot let him voice what I saw so clearly in his eyes last night.
I don’t leave a note. I just run away.
OLIVER
I don’t need to open my eyes to know I’m alone in this room. I can feel it in my bones. The emptiness, the lack of warmth. I open them anyway.
She’s gone.
Her suitcase is still here, there are clothes scattered everywhere. But she’s gone.
I glance at the night stand, searching for a goodbye letter that I know is not there.
I want to feel anger, but it doesn’t come. The only thing swirling in my chest is pain.
I’m not even surprised. After everything I’ve done in my life, after all the heartache I caused so many people, having my heart stomped on seems like a fit punishment.
That’s a truth that can’t be ignored. I’m not a good person. I was never a good person. I don’t deserve happiness. But Saylor does and I will find a way to give it to her. Even if I’m not part of the equation, I will find a way to make her happy.
To Be Continued...
Saylor and Oliver’s story continues in Wreck of the Day.
Release June 6, 2017.
Pre-order now.
Author’s Note
I sincerely hope you enjoyed Part One of Saylor and Oliver’s love story. Please don’t be mad at me for splitting their story. I tried to make it all fit in one novel, but I realized quickly that it would be impossible. Damn you, complex characters! Part Two and Part Three will be released on June 6 and July 31, 2017 respectively. If you did enjoy Sugar, We’re Going Down, there are a number of ways you can help spread the word.
#1. Please tell your friends and family why they should read it. Better yet, gift it to them. If you are active on Goodreads, you can use the ‘Recommend’ feature.
#2. Please like the Love Me, I’m Famous Series Facebook page. When you post statuses, you can click on the smiley face button at the bottom of your post entry and select Reading, then type Sugar, We’re Going Down. That will help your friends find purchase links and information on the novel.
#3. Please consider leaving a review for this book. It’s a known fact that recommendations from friends and reviews are the most influential factors in reader’s purchase decisions.
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Acknowledgments
Just a quick note to thank Margo Bond Collins, Rebecca Hamilton, Sharon Stevenson, Naznin Azeez, and Caprice Whitmire for helping getting Sugar, We’re Going Down ready to meet the world.
About the Author
M. H. Soars always knew creative arts were her calling but not in a million years did she think she would become an author. With a background in fashion design she thought she would follow that path. But one day, out of the blue, she had an idea for a book. One page turned into ten pages, ten pages turned into a hundred, and before she knew, her first novel, The Prophecy of Arcadia, was born.
M. H. Soars resides in The Netherlands with her husband and baby daughter. She is currently working on the Arcadian Wars series, and the Love Me, I’m Famous series.
Connect with M.H. Soars:
@mhsoars
mhsoars
www.mhsoars.com
[email protected]
Also by M. H. Soars
Catch You (Love Me, I’m Famous #0.5)
Wonderwall (Love Me, I’m Famous #1)
Wreck of the Day (Love Me, I’m Famous #3)
