Without opening his eyes, Ryan answered, “Burn Baby Burn, Disco Inferno! Burn Baby Burn, Burn that mama down!”
Thirty-five
Later that week, I met Suzanne at Starbucks for an afternoon snack. She already knew I had slept with Ryan since I sent her a text from my bathroom as soon as Ryan had fallen asleep, but over full fat white chocolate mochas with whip, I spilled the dirty details. Our chairs were side by side and facing the window so we could watch the suits walk by on their lunch hours
I took the first sip of my drink, extra careful not to get whipped cream on my nose. “Did your high school have superlatives, like Best Looking or Most Likely to Succeed?” I asked.
Suzanne nodded. “Yes. I won Most Talkative.”
“Not surprised,” I said rolling my eyes.
“Neither was anyone in my class. Anyway, why?” she asked.
“Well, if I could give out superlatives for my sexual partners, Ryan would win ‘Most Fun Lay’ hands down.”
Suzanne scooted her chair closer to mine and, turning sideways to face me, asked with interest, “What was so fun about it?”
“Everything!” There was a lot to tell and I didn’t know where to start. I figured I’d start with foreplay and move forward from there. “Well, we were listening to the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack and I had told him that hooking up in silence made me uncomfortable, so whenever too much time went by without us saying anything and the only sounds were us breathing and kissing, he would start singing along to the music to lighten the mood.”
Suzanne smiled and took a sip of her coffee. “Keep going.”
I flashed back to the night in question and started laughing. “Okay, you know that joke about guys reciting baseball team lineups in their heads to stop from coming too soon?”
Suzanne nodded.
“Well, he was ready to come and I wasn’t quite there yet and when I told him, he proceeded to call out the roster from the soccer team he coaches. Out loud. It was priceless.”
“Insert important question here: Did you come?”
“Yes, I did, thank you very much,” I said, blushing.
Suzanne responded flatly, “Sounds hot, Steph.”
Feeling protective of my new beau, I said, “I had hot, intense sex with Hille in the bathroom and you know what? I don’t recall laughing once!”
“Speaking of Hille, what does he think about your new boyfriend?”
“He doesn’t know about him.”
Looking at me like I went outside in the rain without an umbrella and was surprised to get wet, Suzanne said, “Trust me. He knows. If Eric knows, he knows.”
“Eric doesn’t know either,” I said.
Suzanne put down her cardboard coffee cup and crinkled her nose at me. “Really? Does anyone know?”
“Just you. And my mom. She calls me every day at work and always wants to know what I’m doing later and it’s too hard to lie. I’ve given her a slightly skewed version of reality, though. She thinks we’ve only gone on two dates and that I’m on the fence as to whether I like him.” I was afraid if I told my mom how much I really liked Ryan, she would start looking at diamond cuts. Not to mention that almost every time I had told my mom I was excited about a guy in the past, the relationship was over within a week, case in point, Craig Hille, and I didn’t want to get her hopes up.
Looking agitated, Suzanne said, “We’ll get to your mom later. I’m still trying to understand why you haven’t told any of your other friends.”
“I don’t know. Just hasn’t come up,” I said.
“Bullshit. You talk to those guys all the time and I’m certain they ask ‘What’s new?’ each time. I’d think that would be an appropriate time to say ‘Actually. I started dating a guy.’ Stephanie, you like him enough to sleep with him! How are you possibly keeping him a secret and why?”
“I actually haven’t spoken to any of them! Why are you getting so worked up over this?” I was kind of insulted that Suzanne seemed more intrigued by the fact I hadn’t told the gang about Ryan than she was about my sleeping with him.
Faint wrinkles appeared on Suzanne’s forehead as she scrunched her face to look at me but she didn’t say anything.
“What?” I asked.
“Please don’t tell me you are keeping the news from Hille in case he suddenly decides he wants an actual relationship with you.”
“That’s ridiculous.” My last thoughts before going to sleep had been of Ryan since practically our first date. And Hille was clearly not interested in having an actual relationship with me anyway. Reaffirming my prior statement, I said, “Completely ridiculous.”
Without blinking, Suzanne locked her eyes with mine, almost daring me to look away and said, “Yes, it is. But just a couple of months ago, you thought Hille was your fate. I hate to hurt your feelings but Hille probably won’t care all that much that you’re dating someone, except maybe disappointment that he won’t have a built in fuck buddy for the Outer Banks.”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious. I’m under no false illusions that Hille is secretly in love with me or anything.” I picked both of our empty cups up off the counter and stood to throw them out. “Haven’t heard from Craig in over a month and don’t really care,” I said before walking away. I hoped she’d change the subject when I got back but could feel her eyes boring into my back and wasn’t holding my breath.
“Then tell them about Ryan,” she said the minute I sat back down. “He sounds awesome, by the way. When do I meet him?”
“It seems too soon to introduce him to friends, don’t you think? It’s only been a few weeks.” And just like telling my mom about a guy made him magically disappear, so did introducing him to my friends. “But soon, I promise. You’ll love him!”
Finally smiling, Suzanne said, “I like him already. He makes you happy and that makes me happy. But you should tell those guys soon. If you kept me in the dark for that long, I’d be pissed.”
“I’ll tell them soon,” I promised.
Suzanne looked at her watch and grimaced. “Shit, I’ve gotta get back to work.” Grabbing her jacket from the back of her seat, she asked, “So, when are you seeing Ryan again?”
“Friday night.”
“Suggestion?”
“Always open to those.”
“The Grease soundtrack. I heard ‘Summer Lovin’ drives the men wild.”
Chuckling, I said, “Great idea.”
“Okay, talk to you later, sweetie,” Suzanne said. And with a kiss on the cheek, she was gone.
Thirty-six
It was an unseasonably warm day for April and Ryan and I were in Stanton Park tossing around a softball. We started with a football but Ryan said I threw like a girl so we borrowed a softball from a group of kids.
I collapsed on the grass and said, “I’m tired! Let’s take a break.”
Ryan sat down next to me, tousled my hair and said, “Tired! I guess that’s what I get for dating an older woman.”
I rested my head on his shoulder hoping he’d keep playing with my hair. “Actually, I’m gonna be four years older than you in a little while. My birthday is next week, May fifth.”
Ryan tossed the softball in the air and caught it. “A Cinco de Mayo baby, huh? Awesome. We’ll have two reasons to celebrate that day!”
I removed my head from his shoulder and turned to look at him. “What kind of celebrating did you have in mind?”
“I’ll surprise you.”
“Okay, but nothing big. I just want to do something fun.”
“I can arrange for that,” he said assuringly.
“I know you can,” I said, before tackling him to the ground.
Planting kisses up and down his neck, I repeated, “I know you can.”
~ * ~
All I wanted to do when I got home that night was put on my pajamas, curl up on my couch and watch my Sunday television line-up of “The Amazing Race,” “Cold Case” and “Entourage,” but when I removed my cell phone from the bottom of my bag,
I noticed I had a voicemail. And then learned I had four of them. Since I’m rarely that popular, my first thought was that something happened to my mom or Al. My heart beat rapidly as I dialed into voicemail and I looked upwards and prayed they were okay.
The first message was from Hope. What’s the plan for my birthday? Am I coming to Philly? The second message was from Eric. Was I coming to Philly for my birthday? The third message was from Hille. He didn’t know what the plan was for my birthday. Should he keep the weekend open? And the last message was from Paul. I’m a loser, soon to be old hag, but he loves me anyway and is sorry he won’t be able to hang out for my birthday this year—will make it up to me in the Outer Banks.
I immediately called Eric.
“Hey, stranger,” he said.
“Hey you. Sorry I missed your call. I was in the park and didn’t hear the phone ring.”
“No biggie. What was in the park?”
“Grass, trees, me!” And my adorable sort-of boyfriend.
“Nice. What’s up for your birthday? Do you mind if we’re more low key than usual? I don’t want to bring my pregnant wife to a crowded bar.”
“I understand completely. I was actually thinking we could skip my birthday this year. Just celebrate it late at the beach or something.”
“Really? Is this because of Jess, cuz we still want to do something with you.”
And if they knew I was blowing them off to hang out with a new guy—would they still want to celebrate with me? “I know. Not about Jess. Just really busy at work and not sure I have the energy for a crazy weekend.” As I waited for a response, I rubbed the spot on my head that was sore from twirling my hair so hard.
“Whatever you want, Cohen. I could really use a drinking buddy, though. One who can actually hold her alcohol, which leaves out my sister-in-law.”
“I’m sorry. I promise to drink you under the table in the OBX, okay?”
“I guess I don’t have a choice. So what else, everything okay with you? Haven’t heard much from you lately.”
“I’ve been good, Eric. Busy with work.” Oh, what the fuck. “And dating,” I said.
“Dating, huh? Any prospects? Don’t get too serious until we approve!”
I could easily see Ryan concocting stupid drinking games with Paul and hogging the mic at karaoke. “You guys will approve of him,” I said.
“Do you mean that in the general sense or is there an actual ‘him’?”
“I’ve actually gotten past the third date with someone, yes.”
“Wow, I might have to call Ripleys. Who is he?”
“His name is Ryan. No more questions. Too early!” Along with telling my mom about a guy and introducing him to my friends, talking about him too much was another no-no.
“Jeez, Steph. Withhold much?”
“Not from him,” I said, laughing.
“Not too early for some things, I guess, huh?”
“No comment. Oh, by the way, Hille called me about my birthday, too. Do you mind letting him know I’m skipping the birthday celebration this year? I’m so busy—not sure when I’d get to calling him back,” I said. I felt my body tense and quietly prayed Eric wouldn’t comment on my recent history with Hille.
“Sure, Steph. I’ll pass the info along.”
Instantly feeling my body relax, I said, “Thanks.”
“So, I guess we won’t see you until the end of the month?”
“Probably not. You’re gonna pick me up on the way to North Carolina, right? I’m on the way.” I wasn’t entirely sure that was true, although D.C. was south of Philadelphia and north of the Carolinas so how far out of the way could it be?
“We’ll work it out later. Someone will pick you up, though.”
“I can’t wait,” I said. As the words came out of mouth, I realized how much I meant them.
“Me neither.”
“Okay, kiss Jess for me.”
“I’ll even slip her the tongue,” Eric said.
Giggling, I said, “Just don’t knock her up! Oops—too late!”
Thirty-seven
I never really cared about not having a boyfriend on my birthday. Sure, when I blew out the candles on my cake, my wish was always, “I wish I’d fall in love this year” but it didn’t really bother me that, for the past several years, I’d taken the train to Philadelphia to drink my face off with my friends who, at the end of the night, or more typically, the beginning of the morning, tucked me into my borrowed bed-for-one. I actually considered myself incredibly lucky. And I still did. Only, having a boyfriend on my birthday was so much better!
Ryan got us tickets to the Orioles/Yankees game and the Yankees won. Ryan said he’d arranged for a fix and I didn’t have the heart to tell him the Yankees were just a better team. After the game, we went back to his place and snuggled on his couch for a brief nap. When Ryan woke up, he bolted off the couch and almost took me with him.
“Whoa!” I said, regaining my balance. “What’s the hurry?”
Standing over me, he said, “Sorry, I didn’t realize what time it was. I made reservations for dinner. We’ve gotta take showers and don’t have much time.”
I stood up and put a hand on each of Ryan’s shoulders. “I know how we can make up time.”
Ryan held my hair into a mock ponytail. “Not blow dry all this hair of yours?”
“I was going to suggest we shower together, but if you’d prefer I go to dinner with a wet head, that would work too.”
Ryan paused as if debating the pros and cons of both options and then said, “No. I think it’s really important that your hair look extra nice on your birthday. So, let’s go with your plan.”
I thought we’d take turns going under the shower head, but when it was Ryan’s turn, I was cold so I pushed my way under the hot water. “I never realized how hard it was to take a shower with someone. They make it look so easy in the movies,” I said.
Looking surprised, Ryan asked, “You’ve never showered with someone before?”
I bent my head back to rinse the shampoo out of my hair and, with my eyes closed, said, “Not since Paul and we were always drunk.”
“Paul?”
“My college boyfriend, I thought I told you about him.” I opened my eyes and moved aside to let Ryan back under the water.
Ryan kissed my wet shoulder and said, “The only Paul you’ve mentioned is your friend from Virginia, the King of Quarters.”
“One and the same,” I said.
“You’re still great friends with your college boyfriend?”
I moved out of the water, grabbed the conditioner I had brought from home and poured some on my hands. Running it evenly through my hair, I said, “Yes. Do you have a problem with that?”
“No. No need to get defensive. I just didn’t know you went out with the guy.”
“It was a long time ago. Like another lifetime.”
“So, no lingering feelings?”
“No way! In fact, I can’t believe I ever thought of him that way. I love him as a friend but, eww, no way.” I thought it was adorable that Ryan was slightly jealous, but the thought of Paul as a threat to our relationship was laughable. And sort of gross. “Anyway, kind of awkward being naked with you talking about another guy.”
“Yeah. If it was another girl, though, it would be hot.”
“How come guys love hearing about two girls but I don’t get the slightest turned on thinking about two guys?” I asked.
“Cuz girls are hot and guys are, well, not hot.”
“You’re hot,” I said.
Smiling, he said, “I’m so glad you think so.”
I stood on my tippy toes and, nibbling Ryan’s soap-scented ear, whispered, “I was thinking. Do we have time for me to maybe take you up on that rain check?”
“What rain check?” he whispered back.
“I’ll give you hint. How do lesbians have sex?”
“Strap on?”
Laughing, I said, “Another way.”
“Oh
that! Not really, but it’s your birthday, so I’ll make the time.”
“It might take a lot of time. We might have to be late for our reservation. It’s not a surprise party, is it?”
Ryan turned off the faucet and took my hand to help me out of the shower and we walked towards his bedroom, dripping water all over his floor. Pushing me onto his bed, he said, “No. Just fondue. It can wait.”
Just Friends With Benefits Page 18
