by Mary Davis
“To answer your question—” he began.
“What question?” She met his gaze. She hadn’t asked any question.
“The one on your face.” He grinned as she felt her face flood with heat. “I slept on the couch in my office at the hotel.”
Quick relief swept her, accompanied by a twinge of guilt. You should have trusted him. With a sigh, she leaned her chin on her hands. “I’m really sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused you.”
“It’s not a problem.” He shrugged off the apology and ducked into the kitchen. A minute later he returned with a plate full of sliced bagels and a variety of minimuffins. He placed a glass of orange juice and a small empty plate in front of her. “Water for your tea will be hot in a few minutes.”
Her gaze traveled from the food up to him. Where did he get all this? Last night he apologized for not having any food on hand. And how did he know she liked tea and not coffee?
His smile broadened as he tried to stifle a laugh. “Don’t ever take up poker, Meg. Your eyes are too expressive. It’s as though your thoughts are right there, waiting to be read.”
Only by you. No one else had ever understood her as well or as easily as this man. Why was that?
He took his seat, still smiling, then pushed his Bible forward and rested his forearms on the table, leaning toward her. “I stopped by the grocery store on my way home.”
She shook her head, and this time the laugh escaped him. She gave him an all-right-that’s-enough look. Can you read that one, “darling”? Surprise filled her when he sobered quickly—apparently he could!—but she could still see the amusement dancing in his eyes.
“I stopped by your cottage to check on Lucky,” he said, obviously playing it safe with a change of subject. “She was snug in her doghouse. I couldn’t feed her though. The door’s locked.” He pulled a key from his pocket. Meghann looked up at him questioningly. “It’s a key to my apartment.” He handed it to her. “For when you and your mom want to go out when I’m not here.”
She took the key and slowly looked up to his eyes. It was her turn to read the question there. “You want a key to my place?”
“As your ‘husband’ I should have one. It would eliminate a potentially awkward situation.”
She had to agree with his logic, but the past two days had already been filled with multiple awkward situations. What was one more?
“If you give me your key, I’ll have a copy made.”
Meghann shook her head. “You don’t have to do that.”
“That’s all right,” he said. “If you’re not comfortable with my having a key to your cottage, don’t worry about it. We’ll work around it.”
“No, that’s not it at all.” She reached out, putting her hand on his arm. “I already have a spare key. It’s under the front lip of the porch by the top rail post on the right. But you have to watch out for spiders and crawly things.” She shuddered at the thought and realized she was still touching his arm. As casually as her suddenly racing pulse would allow, she pulled her hand away and picked a couple of minimuffins and a half of a bagel from the plate. “I’ll get it later when I check on Lucky.” She meticulously spread cream cheese back and forth on her bagel until it was completely covered.
“You missed a spot.” Bruce’s voice broke in. The bagel came into focus, and she set it aside. She looked straight at Bruce and held his gaze.
“Mr. Halloway, is there anything I can do or say to get you to change your mind?”
“Call me Bruce,” he said in a voice designed to disarm her, “after all, we are married.” He gently lifted his eyebrows.
Oh no you don’t. You’re not going to distract me with charm.
Not completely, anyway. With pure force of will, she shook off the haze of attraction his tone had created and pulled herself together.
Kind of.
She stared at him, then frowned. She’d been saying Something…something important…what was it—
“You wanted to change my mind.” His smile was broader now, and just a bit smug.
Crossing her arms with a huff, she nodded. “Would you please reconsider a business trip? It’d be simpler for everyone, especially you.”
“But not nearly as much fun.”
Fun! Her mouth went dry. “Won’t you please go away?”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?” He leaned back in his chair, effecting a perfect wounded little boy expression.
Her reply was without hesitation. “Absolutely.”
He clutched his chest as if a mighty blow had struck him in the heart. She was going crazy here and he was playing games! When she didn’t laugh or even smile at his antics, he sobered. “Meghann, you aren’t still worried I’ll impose myself upon you, are you?”
“Let’s see…you spent the night on my living room floor with a black Lab as a companion, and last night you slept on a sofa. I just have to wonder how long you will put up with it. You can’t be sleeping well.”
“You don’t trust me?” He sounded mildly offended.
“No, it’s not that.”
“You don’t trust yourself then? Should I be worried you will try to take advantage of me?”
“No. Yes. No.” She took a slow, deep breath. “I mean, I feel like I’m already taking advantage of your kindness.” How had the conversation gone astray so quickly?
“I’ll take a room at the hotel, then. Will that make you feel better?”
No! “A month in a hotel room would be very expensive.”
“There are generally always a few empty rooms. I’ll use one of those until we fill up just before the ball and won’t have to pay a thing. Feel better?”
Not really.
“Meg.”
At the soft word, she focused on him, taking in the sincerity in his eyes, the slight smile on his lips. He reached out to give her hand a light squeeze. “Everything will work out. You’ll see. Just relax.”
She nodded, swallowing against the tears his gentle words had sparked. As though sensing she needed some time to herself, he excused himself and disappeared into the bedroom. A minute later, her mother came out of her room. Meghann hoped she hadn’t overheard any of her conversation with Bruce.
Speaking of the devil, he reappeared a few minutes later, dressed in a crisp suit. “Sorry to desert you ladies, but duty calls.” He came up behind Meg and rested both warm hands on her shoulders. All her senses came alert and she had to fight not to lean back against him.
“I’ll go by the cottage and feed Lucky.” When he leaned over her and kissed her on the cheek, she jumped.
He chuckled and grinned at Meg’s mother. “She’s still not used to me.”
“I daresay it won’t take much longer for her to be so,” her mother said with a laugh.
That’s exactly what I’m afraid of, Meg thought miserably. Kisses from Bruce would be all too easy to get used to.…
He leaned down to whisper in her ear, “I’ll brave the spiders and get the key.” With that, he kissed her cheek again and headed for the door. “I’ll see you this afternoon.”
Meghann jumped up and rushed after him. “I’ll walk you to the elevator.” She practically pushed him out the door, and he looked down at her with a barely restrained grin.
When they stood in front of the elevator, she turned to him, straightening her shoulders. “I think I should change and go to work, too.”
“Nonsense. You stay here and enjoy your time with your mother.”
“I feel so guilty. It’s not right. I should be working.”
“Right or not, that’s the way it is. Spend the day with her and come in tomorrow for a few hours.” The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Bruce stepped inside but kept them from closing with his hand. “By the way, running after me to walk me to the elevator looked good.”
She blinked at him. “Looked…good?”
“To your mom.”
“That’s not why I did it. You know that.”
“It doesn’t matter why, it o
nly matters how it appears to your mother. Appearance is everything.” He removed his hand and made a gesture as if tipping an imaginary hat. “Have a nice day.”
She watched as the doors slid closed on his endearing smile. Appearances. And you are so good at them. If she didn’t know better, she would swear he was in love with her. But then it was all in the way it appeared, wasn’t it? Since he appeared to have deep feelings for her and nothing was as it seemed in reality, he wasn’t in love with her. Right?
Bruce leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on his mahogany desk. What had he done? What had he gotten himself into? He knew better than to get involved in this kind of deception. The Bible was clear on the consequences of lying, on the importance of living in truth.
But when it had come right down to it, a woman’s gratitude had seemed more important than the truth.
Of course, this wasn’t just any woman. It was Meghann Livingston! With any other woman he’d just have brought out the truth as kindly as possible, even if it caused discomfort or some pain. After all, he hadn’t started the lie.
But when he’d looked into those eyes, seen the alarm on that sweet face…he hadn’t thought twice. Just jumped into the fray, playing the gallant hero, joining the charade.
It had made sense then. But now…with every passing moment he teetered between the truth, keeping up the charade, and taking Meghann up on her mythical business trip.
The Bruce Halloway of three years ago wouldn’t have thought twice about pressing his advantage with Meghann if he had ever found himself in a similar situation. He would have been more than happy to manipulate the circumstances to get exactly what he wanted, to charm his way back into his bedroom.
But he wasn’t that man any longer. What was it Scripture said? He was a new man. Made new from the inside out. Must be true because what used to matter most was him, his desires and wants. And now what mattered most was helping Meg.
He wanted—needed—her to trust him, so in return maybe he could trust, too. There were too few people in his life, if any, that he felt he could truly trust. Instinct and life taught him to rely only on himself.
But there was something about Meghann that drew Bruce in. He found himself wanting to trust her, to tell her all about himself and his past, sordid though it may be.
Don’t be stupid. Let people know too much about you, and they can and will use it against you.
No, Meghann wasn’t like that; he knew it in his heart. Still, he just couldn’t bring himself to risk it just yet. He had to be sure of his own feelings first. Had to be sure she really was someone he could trust. All he knew now was that he had never felt for another woman what he felt for Meg.
Of course, the easiest solution would be to follow Meg’s suggestion, to pretend to go away on some business trip. But he didn’t want to do that. No, what he wanted was to be near Meghann. And while their bogus marriage might have a lot of drawbacks, it did allow him that. Time with Meg.
Besides, they weren’t doing this just as a lark. It was for Meg’s mother. The woman was clearly still fragile, and if this would help her regain her health, then it was worth it, wasn’t it? It wasn’t as though he were toying with Meghann’s affection. She knew as well as he that this wasn’t real.…
Even as he made the assertion, he saw again the way she’d looked at him this morning: the uncertainty, the questions swirling in those big, green eyes; eyes he could easily drown in.…
He shook his head, then uttered a sigh. With any luck, down the road they would laugh about this, and they would draw closer together because of it. And when her mother was strong enough to hear the truth, he would be the first to tell her.
Who are you really serving? Meg’s mom, or yourself?
Bruce stared at the wall. Meg’s mom, he insisted. This whole charade is for her benefit.
“Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example.…No deceit was found in this mouth.”
But He was never in this situation! What if I’d told on Meg? What if I’d told her mother the truth and she’d relapsed?
Do not use deception.…
I didn’t have a choice! But even as he said it, he knew it wasn’t true.
The ringing phone interrupted his internal debate. He lifted the phone. “Yes?”
“Didn’t we have a meeting at two o’clock?” George Phenton said over the line.
Bruce glanced at his watch: 2:20. “Yes, George, we did. I’m sorry. Time got away from me. I’ll be right there.”
Bruce grabbed a couple of files and marched down the hall to the general manager’s office. George’s secretary waved him to go on in.
George wasn’t waiting behind his desk but was seated in one of the brown leather chairs flanking the matching leather couch, files strewn across the coffee table.
Bruce sat in the other chair and tried to focus his attention on the business at hand. But for the life of him, he couldn’t keep his mind from drifting back to Meghann Livingston and her problem. She needed his help, and it was within his power to give it to her. Surely God wanted him to help her.
When he came back to the present, George was spouting something about the renovations. And he was sorry the work wasn’t going to get done on schedule. Since when did anything get done on time? After they had hashed out what to do about the renovation problems, discussed the upcoming ball and various other hotel matters, George asked, “Is something on your mind?”
The question took Bruce by surprise. “Why?”
“You’re never late for a meeting and time doesn’t just ‘get away from you.’ You’ve only been half here since you walked in.” George settled back in his chair. “What’s up? Anything I can help you with?”
Bruce took a deep breath and thought for a moment. He did want advice, but how much should he tell? “Have you ever done something that was maybe technically wrong, but it was to help someone else?”
“The end justifying the means?”
“Something like that.”
“This ‘something’ wouldn’t be illegal or have anything to do with the hotel, would it?” George shuffled some papers and straightened a few files.
Bruce shook his head. “No, nothing illegal or to do with this place.” He raised one foot and rested his ankle on the opposite knee, trying to appear relaxed. “It’s…personal.”
“Well, if it’s not illegal and it’s helping someone, I don’t see any problems.”
“But something doesn’t have to be illegal to be wrong.”
“If it’s bothering you, then put it right.”
Bruce slipped his foot down and leaned forward. “Then I hurt two people.”
George, too, leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. “Is it something you can live with?”
“I guess so.” The truth was he couldn’t just abandon Meg, but he wasn’t so sure he could live with their lie for much longer, either.
“Then accept it, forget it, and move on.”
He would try to accept it, but he could neither forget it nor move on, not when he was living with it daily. Meghann had become very important to him, and he felt a deep need to help her in any way possible.
If only the way presented to him didn’t make him feel as though he were selling out on something even more important than Meg.
Lord, help me out here.…
But there was no reply. Just silence—and a small but undeniable sense of divine displeasure.
Seven
MEGHANN AND BRUCE RETURNED TO HIS APARTMENT AFTER A Saturday afternoon visit to take care of Lucky while Gayle rested. Revived from her nap, she greeted them energetically. “What time do I need to be ready to leave for church in the morning?”
Oh, dear…church. Meg glanced at Bruce in dismay. The three of them couldn’t show up at church together! Her mom would wonder why no one knew Meg was married and had never seen her husband before. A wave of guilt rushed through her for not having considered church services. She racked her brain for a reason not to go but came
up empty.
“I’ve been wanting to check out Grace Bible Church. If you ladies are game, I’d like to take you,” Bruce said.
Perfect. She sighed. That solved that problem.
“Fine with me,” Gayle said.
He turned to Meghann for her answer. When she failed to respond, he nudged her gently. “Darling, is it okay with you if we go to a new church?”
“I’m sorry,” she said, coming out of her daze. “That sounds great. I’d love to.” Good thing she’d picked a man who thought so quickly on his feet for her make-believe mate.
And it doesn’t hurt that he is handsome, wonderful, Christian, kind, considerate, thoughtful…
No, she admitted, it didn’t hurt in the least. And the list could go on and on. Bruce Halloway was, in a word, perfect.
What a pity their relationship wasn’t. Wasn’t perfect. Wasn’t…period.
Meghann turned away, suddenly depressed. This month had better go quickly, or she was going to need therapy to recover!
Going to a new church was harder than Meghann had thought it would be. From the moment she walked through the doors on Bruce’s arm she felt oddly conspicuous, as though she was on trial. She wondered what the verdict would be?
A man who looked to be in his seventies greeted them. His name tag read Bill Neilsen. He was a friendly man who obviously enjoyed his role as greeter, but when he smiled at her, she felt as though he could see straight into her soul. As though somehow the wisdom of years could see beyond the facade.
He introduced them to another couple, Margaret and Frank, who in turn introduced them to their son and daughter-in-law, Frank Jr. and Sue.
“I could tell you two were newlyweds,” Sue whispered to Meghann as the men exchanged pleasantries about their jobs. “You have that shy, self-conscious, new-wife look with the glow of young love still on your face.”
It was more like that fear and trepidation, I-hope-no-one-guesses-we’re-frauds look. As for the glow, nervous perspiration could account for that.
Was it her imagination or were people staring at them? She glanced around but no one seemed to have their eyes fixed on them. An occasional nod of acknowledgment and friendly smile but no overt attention.
