by Mary Davis
He crooked his finger at her and walked through the French doors onto the balcony without so much as a backward glance to see if she was in pursuit. Of course she would follow, and it irked her that he knew. Maybe she would find out what was on his mind.
Bruce was leaning against the railing, looking out at the city lights. His sharp and confident profile was dark against the moonlight. The cool night air wrapped around her, but surprisingly Meghann didn’t shiver. She moved to the rail a few feet away from where he stood. He shook his head but didn’t turn to her. Did he know she was there? She was about to clear her throat to announce her presence when he spoke.
“Your mom was right,” he said, then turned to her.
“Right about what?”
“You talk as if you’re in love, at least when I’m not around, but you don’t act it. You say the right things, but you don’t do them.”
Meg stared at him. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Did you ever hear the old saying, ‘Actions speak louder than words’?” She nodded. “Honey, if your actions are saying anything it’s, ‘he’s got the plague.’ It’s as if you are trying to stay away from me.”
She followed his pointed gaze and took in the distance she had unconsciously put between them. She could just imagine his reaction if she explained that it was just too hard to think straight when he was so near. “What am I supposed to do, jump in your lap?”
“It wouldn’t hurt.”
Meghann’s mouth fell open—and when he laughed, she clamped it shut. He didn’t really expect her to…to sit on his lap. She was having a hard enough time keeping what was real and what was not straight in her own head. “You can’t really expect me to…I mean, I couldn’t…Mr. Halloway—”
“That’s it!” He slapped his palm to his forehead. “I’ve been racking my brain to figure it out.” He removed his hand from his head and pointed at her. “You called me Mr. Halloway.”
She could see by his expression that he had received some great revelation that she was not privy to, which pushed her beyond confusion. “Of course I called you Mr. Halloway. That’s your name.” Isn’t it?
“Every time you talk to me you sound like you are addressing your boss.”
“I am.”
“No. I’m supposed to be your husband, whom you love and adore. Not someone you are afraid to ask for a raise.”
Love and adore? She swallowed hard. Already her feelings for him had doubled, no quadrupled. She had to keep her distance or give away her feelings.
She latched on to the one safe thing he had said. “I’m not afraid to ask for a raise.”
He raised his eyebrows in challenge and folded his arms across his chest. “Then ask.”
“May I have a raise?” She tossed the question out without hesitation. Of course he’d say no.
“How much?”
“What?”
“How much of a raise do you want?”
He was being ridiculous. Well, fine, she could be ridiculous, too. “A hundred dollars.” She smiled. “A week.”
“Why do you think you deserve a hundred-dollar-a-week raise?”
Enough was enough. “I suppose I don’t, so let’s drop it.”
“Let’s not. I’m interested in what you think your assets are.”
Assets?
He must have realized how that sounded and quickly added, “In regard to the hotel, that is.”
She licked her lips and took a breath. “I’ve been working there for three years and am due for a raise. I’m rarely sick and never late. I’ve put in a lot of extra hours working on the masquerade ball and…”
I think I’m falling in love with you.
“And.” he prodded.
She swallowed hard around the sudden lump in her throat. “I think…”
He held her gaze, and something flickered deep in the depths of his eyes. He took a step toward her. “You think…?”
“I think I’m…”
Another step closer. Now she could feel his breath on her face. Her throat went dry, her head was spinning. Oh, help…
“You think you’re.?” His hand slid along the railing, coming to rest beside her arm. She could feel the warmth of his skin where it rested against her.
Think, Meg! For the love of Pete, think of something to say. “I think I’m…worth more! Yes, I’m worth more than I’m getting paid.” She shook her head and blinked. “Worth far more…than I’m getting now—getting paid now.”
His easy smile returned. “Done.”
Meghann went slack jawed. “You can’t be serious.”
He gave her a nod. “I agree with your reasoning. You are a valuable employee. You have just successfully negotiated a raise, one of the hardest things for an employee to do. Now can you relax around me?”
She eyed him suspiciously. “Mr. Phenton will never approve it.”
“I’ll talk to George.”
“No, don’t!”
He raised his eyebrows again.
“You’ve already gotten me all this time off with pay. I don’t want you to get in trouble on my account.”
“I can get around George Phenton.”
“Oh, please, Mr. Halloway, don’t.” She didn’t want him to get fired. “You have done so much for me.” She noticed he was shaking his head but continued anyway. “I appreciate everything you’ve done, really I do.” She couldn’t stand it any longer. “Why are you shaking your head? Don’t you believe me?” She was a known liar to him, so why should he believe her?
“You called me Mr. Halloway again.”
Meghann let out a heavy sigh. “Well, that’s who you are. At least, that’s how I think of you.” How I have to think of you if I’m going to survive this whole thing! “I know you are supposed to be my husband.” She felt a little twinge inside when she said my husband. He would make a wonderful husband. “But you’re not.”
The words came out flat and depressed, and she hoped he didn’t notice. Thankfully, he just nodded his head.
“True enough, but you can’t keep treating me like your boss when we’re with your mom. You’re stiff and formal. You either have to fess up now or play this to the end and make it look real. I’m just trying to help you.”
But he was her boss. “What exactly did my mom say to you?”
“She thinks you rushed into this marriage without being in love. That you did it for her.”
“I did do it for her! Not that I really did anything. I mean, we’re not married, right? So I didn’t actually do anything.”
Except lie, Meghann. Big time.
She let out a frustrated huff. “But whatever it is I did, I did for her.” She shook her head.
“And you act like it. Your mother thinks this is a one-sided relationship—”
“It’s not any kind of relationship at all!”
His expression was patient. “I know that, and you know that, but for now, you mother doesn’t know that. And I’m sure you don’t want your mother to feel guilty for pressuring you to marry someone you didn’t love. You care for her too much for that. I think you would probably give up everything for her.” The last statement was said with compassion and his look was tender. “Think back to the first time you were in love.”
“This is the first time!” She stopped, horrified. How had she let that come out? She scrambled to explain her words away before he could do or say anything that would make her humiliation total. “What I mean is, this is the first serious relationship I’ve ever had. Or supposedly had. Oh, you know what I mean!”
She risked a peek at his face and saw he was just watching her, considering her words. Please, please don’t let him realize what I said was the truth.
Because it was. She’d never been in love before. Not even once. She’d had crushes from time to time, but never felt she’d met a man she loved. Really loved. As in forever.
Except for maybe now.
Why did Bruce have to be so nice about everything? Why did he have to be so wonderful
and caring and beguiling? Why did he have to be the one man she’d ever fallen in love with? She should have chosen someone she didn’t even like. Someone who made her skin crawl.
Then her heart wouldn’t have to break when this was all over.
His silence unnerved her. She couldn’t quite read his expression. A little smile curved up the corners of his mouth. Was he pleased? Or could he be laughing at her?
“Have you ever been in a school play?”
His question was so unexpected, Meghann could only shake her head.
“Pretended to be someone else?”
She continued to shake her head.
His soothing voice probed further. “You were never Dorothy landing in Munchkinland? Never played dress up? Didn’t you do anything fun as a child?”
“I suppose when I was real young. After my dad died, I mostly helped Mom with the housework. In high school she wouldn’t let me get a job to help. She was afraid my schoolwork would suffer. I studied extra hard to make her proud.”
He studied her in silence. When he spoke, his voice was low. “It’s hard for you to lie to your mother, isn’t it?”
She nodded. “I’m not very good at it.”
“Neither am I. Believe it or not, this is all a first for me as well.” His eyes grew serious. “All of it.”
She frowned. What was he saying? Before she could think it through, he went on.
“But I do know this much, if you are going to play a part, you should try to be believable.”
“I can’t make this believable.” She was too close to the edge as it was, too close to letting her heart get the best of her.
“I realize pretending to love me isn’t easy—”
She glanced at him quickly. Was he offended?
“But I’d like to think it’s not impossible.”
“Well, of course not—”
“Just think of it as a game. You are acting out a part.”
“I’m not sure how.”
“For starters, take my hand.” He held out his hand.
She looked from it to his expression. Was he serious?
“Meg, are we or are we not supposed to be happily married?” He waited for her to nod. “Then act like you’re in love. Newlyweds touch and hold hands and gaze into each other’s eyes.” His voice dropped to a low growl. “Like this.”
Her breath caught in her throat. The look he gave her now bespoke of love and affection. So much so that it made her a bit dizzy. The man was good at this “game,” as he called it. Could she play it as well? Without losing her heart in the process?
Too late, a small inner voice mocked. Ignoring it, she took a step toward him and wrapped her hand around his.
“See, that wasn’t so bad. I don’t bite.” Bruce’s smile was pleased.
“How do you know I don’t?” she said, turning up one side of her mouth. “You could be risking your very life.”
“I’ll take my chances.” The reply was quiet and firm, and so full of conviction that she looked up in surprise.
He studied her face, and she felt caught by his searching. A cool breeze blew a strand of hair across her cheek. Bruce closed the gap between them and reached up with his free hand to brush the wayward lock back behind her ear. His hand settled on the side of her neck as he continued to gaze at her. Her skin tingled at his touch. She forced herself to breathe.
What was he going to do now? He was so close he could…no, he wouldn’t do that! He wouldn’t kiss her. Maybe she should just kiss him…just to see what it would be like…just to prove she could play this game with the best of them.
He lowered his head, his eyes still on hers, and touched his lips to hers with featherlightness. At least, she thought that’s what happened. Either that or she reached up to kiss him.…
She couldn’t remember. But then, she was hardly capable of coherent thought at the moment. All she could do right now was float on the cloud of pure joy and pleasure of Bruce’s kiss…the feel of his lips on hers…the faint awareness that he was shifting slightly, drawing her closer—
The sound of a throat being cleared behind them sent a shock through Meghann, and she jumped back and spun around.
“Perfect,” Bruce whispered in her ear as she leaned back against him. The pleasure in his voice was nothing, though, compared to the approval on her mother’s face.
Bruce wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and held her against him. “Hi, Mom,” he said over Meghann’s shoulder.
Even though she couldn’t see him, she could hear the smile in his voice. And she was embarrassed for being caught kissing him. But she knew she shouldn’t be, so she tried to slough it off. But her legs felt like jelly and she needed a moment to get her strength back. She wasn’t sure she could stand on her own and was grateful for the support of his arms around her.
“I’m sorry, Mom. We—we didn’t mean to ignore you.” Meghann brushed at an imaginary piece of dirt on Bruce’s sleeve.
Her mother waved off the apology. “Don’t worry about me. I’m glad to see you kids having fun. I just wanted to say good night. I’m a little tired, so I’m going to bed.”
“We’re going to turn in soon as well.” Bruce nuzzled against Meghann’s hair.
She closed her eyes at the contact. If only she could stay there, leaning against his strength and warmth, his arms securely around her, his lips brushing against her hair. But as soon as her mother was gone, he released her and stepped away, moving back inside. Meghann stood at the railing, her hands clenching the metal fiercely, struggling to get her roiling emotions under control.
“Play the game,” he’d said. Well, she had. And suddenly he was acting as though the touch of her burned him and he couldn’t wait to get away from her.
Had he sensed how deeply their brief kiss had affected her? Was he embarrassed by that? Or maybe he’d been repulsed to kiss someone so inexperienced?
She waited out on the balcony for a few minutes, hoping he would come back out and invite her inside or say something encouraging. He never came.
She wandered in and found him in the bedroom. He had left the door conspicuously open. His dark hair looked mussed like he had combed it with his hands. He looked at her and frowned when she closed the door. Was he mad at her? What had she done?
He brushed past her without really touching her on his way to the door. He grabbed the knob.
Why was he leaving so suddenly? She knew her mother couldn’t possibly be asleep yet. What if she heard him leave? “What—Where—”
He turned and looked at her, drawing in a deep breath. “I’ll slip out quietly. She’ll never know I’ve left.” His voice broke with huskiness.
He stared at her a moment longer, then reached up to caress her cheek with the delicateness of a butterfly’s wing. She sighed. He wasn’t mad at her. His touch told her as much.
Then he was gone.
She readied herself for bed in a daze, then lay awake for a long time, feeling his caress and replaying his kiss. It might be the only time he kissed her and she wanted to cherish it. When this was all over, at least she would have the sweet memories.
Bruce carefully latched the apartment door so as not to make any noise, then sagged against it and raked a hand through his hair. He made it. He got out of there before he gave in to temptation and wrapped Meg in his arms and kissed her—really kissed her. With all the passion and emotion raging through him…emotions that had exploded into life when his lips met hers.
He thought kissing her would remove the mystique. It had only intensified it. And it hadn’t been enough. Not by a long shot. He wanted to kiss her again. And again. Could he play this game without losing his heart? Did he even want to try to hold on to his heart? Or was it already hers?
You’re fooling yourself into thinking this is something more than it is. You could have ruined it tonight. Tread lightly or you’ll scare her off. She already thinks you’re a cad, don’t prove her right.
Dear Lord, help me.
F
or the next week and a half, Meghann made a conscious effort to hold Bruce’s hand or put her arm around his waist in her mother’s presence. It didn’t take long, though, for the actions to become second nature. She was holding his hand without being aware of doing so, as though it were the most natural thing in the world.
Which it was. What wasn’t going to be natural was stopping.
But she couldn’t go back. As Bruce so often reminded her, appearance was everything. If only it didn’t leave her heart unprotected and vulnerable. If only it didn’t mean, in the end, the hurt would be that much greater.
Ten
EARLY THE NEXT MORNING, BRUCE WALKED IN THE KITCHEN and was surprised to see Meghann up already. She stood at the counter with her back to him. “Good morning.” He kept his tone casual, trying to rein in his zealous emotions at the sight of her.
She straightened and raised her hands to wipe her face before turning around. The remains of errant tears on her lashes caused an iron fist to clamp around his heart. In an instant he was at her side. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m fine.” She turned away from him.
He took a firm hold of her upper arms and turned her back toward him, then touched her cheek. “You missed one.”
She gave up her denial and began to cry. “I didn’t sleep well. She kept dying over and over in my dreams.”
He tentatively wrapped his arms around her. When her tears had subsided, he smiled down at her, nestled against him. This was good. This was right.
But as though the intimacy of the moment were too much, she stepped back. A chaos of emotions thrashed around in him as they gazed at each other. He wanted desperately to wrap his arms around her and kiss her. Instead, he caressed a tear from her cheek with gentle fingers.
“Your mother will be fine. Why don’t you go back to bed and try to get some sleep. Don’t worry about coming into the hotel today.” He tried fervently to calm the storm within.
With a sniff and a nod, Meg moved to do as he’d suggested.
Later after Gayle had gotten up and he saw she was looking better than the day before, Bruce slipped into his suit coat and picked up his briefcase. “Tell Meg I’ll call her later.”
