“Actually I wasn’t, but that could equally be the case. I’m suggesting that we aren’t even here on this island or if we are, we’re asleep. The story I was reading, Ghosts of Ophidian, suggested a different mode of space travel. Cryogenics didn’t exist in the story, or rather if it did, it was on a lesser level where the passenger wasn’t 100% frozen like in other science fiction stories. So let’s go with the concept that deep-freeze cryogenics doesn’t exist. And let’s pretend that the multi-generational spacecraft never caught on either due to the variety of problems those kind of ships would pose. Could you imagine keeping thousands of people awake and alive for a hundred years inside one of those spacecraft on its way to another star system? The ship would have to be many magnitudes larger than what was required just for the living spaces. And don’t even get me started on repair parts and other supplies. But I digress.”
“Okay, so no cryogenics and no multi-generational hundred-year spacecraft. And we’re going with a ship that can’t travel faster than the speed of light,” I said.
“I doubt superluminal travel will ever be a possibility, but I’m limited by what I’ve read in my short tenure on this island,” she replied, “But what if you transported people in an almost frozen state, or a slowed down physical state and kept them asleep for the duration of the journey? And you not only kept them asleep, but you offered them education while they slept? And you fed their bodies of course. Intravenously I’d have to imagine.”
I pondered this while I watched her. I had no memories involving science fiction, be it movies or books, but her theories seemed rational and perhaps realistic. And since I somehow knew the concept of a multi-generational ship, cryogenics, and superluminal travel, subconsciously I must have had some education or history involving these ideas.
“Intriguing,” I replied, “But how would this island be educational? It sounded like you and Zane Number One spent a lot of time… uh… enjoying life.”
She laughed and shook her head, “Obviously a living person has a need or desire for recreation, companionship, and fun. It’s the way we’re wired inside and I believe it’s healthy not to ignore it. But explain to me the library I have. Explain to me why there are so many books on agriculture, cultivation, hydroelectric power, terraforming, weather forecasting, sailing, and fishing. Sure there’s plenty of fiction to read, but I noticed right from the start that I was drawn to some of those more educational books. It’s almost like I was being led subconsciously.”
“Okay, so assuming this is the case… why the memory loss?” I asked, “Why make someone lose their whole life and identity?”
“Would you willingly live a life that wasn’t real? Would you be willing to exist only inside of a dream? For instance, in the real world, there comes a time when you’re actually lying in bed asleep and don’t realize that you’re asleep. Then suddenly at some point in the dream, you realize ‘this is all a dream and I’m not even awake’. What happens in that dream once you make that discovery? You stop caring,” she said, “When a monster is coming after you and you suddenly become aware that it’s just a dream, you stop caring and oftentimes you wake up shor… hmmm… you wake up shortly after you realize it’s only a dream.”
“I’ve been waking up?” I said, frightened by this thought, “Waking up in the real world?”
What sounded like a bunch of science fiction just a moment ago now sounded completely plausible. If I woke up and then was somehow reinserted into the dream, I’d be starting over again from the beginning, but she wouldn’t be because she never woke up. She’d still be on the island witnessing me coming back without my memory again.
“Do you think that I’m going off somewhere on the island and stumbling across something that is causing me to discover the truth?” I asked.
“Wouldn’t that seriously explain everything we’ve seen?” she said.
“So then I have to ask… you said you want me to help you get out of here. Do you want to walk the island with me and discover whatever it is that I keep discovering? Do you want to wake up? And that begs the question – is waking up the answer? I obviously keep coming back, so I must not like what I’m discovering when I wake up.”
“Wow, we’re really getting deep here,” she exhaled loudly.
She rose from the couch and started pacing slowly in front of me. I tried not to look at those perfectly tan legs as they scissored back and forth before me.
“Seriously, I can vouch for the fact that this is the eleventh time you’ve shown up, but you always have no memories whatsoever. Nothing ever triggers any memories we’ve shared from a previous encounter,” she said, “So you never come here with even the basic knowledge of something important such as ‘I don’t want to wake up because it’s not a place I want to be’.”
“And I always return, whether that’s voluntarily or not, though I’d have to believe it’s a voluntary decision,” I said.
“Why would you believe that?”
“I would wake up, perhaps accidentally, and then remember what I had with you. I don’t even know you, but with what you’ve told me about what you and the previous Zanes had together, I’m a little bit jealous and wish I could have those memories. And then to be torn away from you, knowing that I left you there by yourself. And keep in mind that I’d have no knowledge that I would be losing all my memories if I returned to you… so I would most certainly reinsert myself to come back to you. I would expect to be coming back to you at the moment of my departure to apologize for leaving and to maybe warn you to never leave here… but instead, I return with no memories only to replay the same mistakes over and over again.”
“This is scaring the crap out of me now!” she said, turning to me with her hands on her hips, “I was just posing a theory based on one of my favorite science fiction stories. I sort of hoped you’d shoot me down or at least poke some holes in the theory.”
“Instead, I’m pointing out how plausible it all is. But at the same time, I have to ask if I should just stay here then. Don’t forget where you suggested you and I are at. If we’re on an interstellar spacecraft headed for another star system, I’d bet that it’s cold, dark, and uninviting. And being awake and alone there wouldn’t be very enjoyable,” I said.
“Maybe we can both escape at the same time and make a decision when we both see together what’s out there,” she said.
“But if we both agreed that it was in our best interest to return, we’d both be without any memories and we’d be back to Zane Number One and the Sarai from your story. And we both know where that would lead to,” I replied.
“But I have to know the truth, even if it’s temporary,” she said.
“But you wouldn’t know. You’d know as much as you do today. Actually, you’d know less than you do today because you would lose all the knowledge of all the other Zanes, all the books you’ve read, and all that we just talked about tonight,” I added.
She groaned and then plopped down on the sofa next to me. She leaned into me, causing me to naturally put my arm around her.
“Tell me what to do then,” she whined.
She may have felt comfortable with her hip touching mine and her head resting in the crook of my shoulder and chest, but this was still very new to me and I was unfortunately very aroused. I rested my cheek against the top of her head and held her like she was probably accustomed to. I just wished in that moment that I could have all those memories that made something like this a bit more casual and ordinary.
“I don’t know. No matter what we believe we’ve discovered, let’s not forget that we really are just theorizing based on something you found in a sci-fi novel. Personally, I think we should stay, but I’m not really sure that’s even the right answer,” I said.
Chapter Eighteen
Whether we fell asleep on that sofa or were knocked unconscious by the gods, I wasn’t sure. All I knew when I woke up was that I was using Sarai’s hip as a pillow and I was holding onto her leg as though it were a rolled up blanket or
pillow. She had been asleep up against the arm of the couch. I gently released my grip on the nicely shaven leg and carefully sat up, grateful that she didn’t catch me sleeping on her as I had. Although to her, it may have been a normal thing with any other Zane.
A sunbeam sliced its way through the window behind us, projecting a yellow split window on the wall in front of me. It wasn’t a perfectly rectangular impression of the window due to the jagged shadow of treetops along the bottom edge. The beam highlighted a few floating dust particles in the room, which caused me to wonder.
So much detail…
How could a computer generated dream spend any of its time on dust particles and their movements? I blew out toward them and a moment later, they scattered. Another particle crossed the beam, then drifted upward on the remains of my air disturbance. I found it hard to believe that this wasn’t real. If perfection was an important part of this dream world, such as the way the system repaired ATVs back to perfection, then surely there would be no reason to allow dust into the world. Dust served no purpose.
Sarai groaned and then stretched. She followed this up with a yawn as she sat up and kissed me on the cheek. I turned to her and smiled, truly wishing I knew her as the others had.
“I’m sorry,” she said, “I keep thinking that you’re the same person I knew last week. It’s a common mistake.”
“I truly don’t mind the kisses, Sarai,” I chuckled, “You’re beautiful and who wouldn’t want to kiss a beautiful lady?”
She smiled, “Maybe you are the same Zane after all. Have you thought about what you might want to do about our situation?”
“I thought I might want to read that book you were reading yesterday,” I said, catching a glimpse of it still resting on the other sofa, “Or maybe you can show me the island like you would have done if you hadn’t been upset and dropped that bomb on me yesterday.”
She put her hand over her mouth. I turned to her wondering suddenly if I had said something wrong.
“I’m so sorry. I was so selfish yesterday due to my bitterness over everything that had been happening,” she said, “I had no right to dump that all on someone who for all intents and purposes had only been alive for a couple hours.”
“No, you misunderstand. I’m actually happy that you told me all those truths of what you’ve been through and the theories of what might have led to it all. I’m entering the world this time with a clearer and more qualified mind,” I said, “I was now just getting a little jealous that you spent some happier times with the other Zanes. They got to share some time with a happier and more free-spirited Sarai. What if you’re a little jaded now and just want to punch me every time you see me now because of all the times I’ve hurt you.”
She laughed and then punched me lightly in the shoulder.
Chapter Nineteen
She showed me the island much the same way as she showed the others in the past. We took a trip around the island on the ATVs, following the same paths as the others, even to the point where she showed me the highest point and let me imagine what it would be like to jump off those cliffs into the sea. Only this time, she took me somewhere that she didn’t take the Zane from the story she told me. Or if she took him, she didn’t include it in that story.
“Why would there be mine carts here on the island?” I asked, still sitting on my bike and looking at the skinny metal track that curved in a half circle from one dark cavern entrance to the other.
“This island, as I’m sure you now realize, was made in such a way as to keep us busy. For the longest time, I thought of this as simply a ride through the caverns where miners once worked. I thought of it as a way to make use of the tracks and mine carts that they once used but no longer needed anymore,” she said, taking off the helmet and getting off the bike, “Now I know it’s just an underground amusement park ride, intentionally placed here and hidden underground so we wouldn’t see enormous rollercoaster hills rising up from the jungle and hindering the ‘paradise island’ charade.”
I watched her as she approached the cavern on the right. She turned to me and gestured for me to get off my bike and follow her. I removed my helmet and as I got closer to the cavern, I could see the mine cart waiting in the shadows.
“Are you thinking of going for a ride?” I asked.
“Why not?” she said, “You’ve always found it quite exhilarating.”
I chuckled and then nodded my agreement. She led the way to the black mine cart. I immediately noticed that there were no seats, which also meant that there were no seatbelts. My memory may have been severely limited, but I did recall the concept of an amusement park ride. This cart however offered some rope straps on each side that were obviously meant as life-preserving handholds for two passengers.
She lifted her leg over the side and entered the cart like a pro. Obviously she had done this many times before. She switched on a headlight that I hadn’t noticed on the front of the cart before. I climbed over the edge and entered the cart, taking my place behind her. I no sooner grabbed a hold of the rope handles before she reached out of the cart and pulled the release lever next to the track.
The cart lurched forward. I accidentally let out a startled gasp, bringing forth some unexpected laughter from her. A moment later, the cart plummeted down a steep hill accompanied by some cries from both of us. Her hair flowed back at me, tickling my chin with its silky soft tendrils. A sharp turn to the left immediately followed the drop, and now we seemed to be racing along at an amazing speed through a tunnel that was only lit sporadically by some dim bulbs dangling from above at random intervals.
We hit another sharp curve and then started up an incline that almost caused the cart to come to a complete stop. Then we dropped down another steep hill that almost brought blisters to my hands due to the tight grip I had on the ropes. The hill turned to the right even as we started up the next incline. At that point, I noticed a dimly lit tunnel branching off to the right that had no tracks laid out on the floor. It was gone from my view just as quickly as it had appeared.
We hit several more hills and valleys with plenty of dangerous turns before we found ourselves coasting back out into the bright sunshine. The cart then came to a stop in the same shadowy spot where our journey had originated. Before Sarai could climb out, I asked for another ride. Only this time, I planned to search for tunnels that branched off to the right or left of the actual ride itself. This was quite peculiar considering that there were no other inhabitants here who would have needed to service the ride.
She was more than willing. We rode the underground coaster again and this time I remained more alert to my surroundings. My left hand was truly feeling like I might have blistered it on the previous ride, but I wasn’t about to loosen my grip on the handholds. The ride was much more enjoyable this time now that I could predict some of the more frightening hills and dangerously sharp turns. By the end of the second ride, I only caught sight of the one access tunnel. If nothing else, I verified with certainty that the tunnel existed.
“Want to go again?” she tilted toward me before attempting to exit the cart.
“No,” I laughed, “Two times was enough for me.”
I checked my hands for blisters, but there were none. Just a little bit of rope burn on my left palm.
“Are there any other tunnel entrances on this island?” I asked, trying to make it seem like a casual question.
“No, none that I know of,” she replied, stopping suddenly at her ATV and turning to me, “Wait, why do you ask?”
I looked at her and realized she could probably read me like a book after all the years she spent with me. I shrugged, but that only caused her to point at me and shake her head.
“Uh uh… no, this is where it all begins, Zane,” she said, closing the distance between us in three quick strides, “Tunnels. You asked about tunnels three other times before you disappeared.”
“I did?” I backed away as she jabbed her finger in the center of my chest.
“It
has something to do with the mine carts,” she added, frowning, “Tell me everything. If curiosity is beckoning you somewhere, then we both need to know this time around. You need to talk to me and we need to either get out of this thing together or decide to stay here together, but it needs to be together this time.”
I nodded, then took hold of the finger that had been planted into my chest. I held her hand with both of mine.
“You’re completely right and I’m sorry,” I said, giving a nod toward the mine cart, “Both times, I saw a random tunnel branching off to the right and there were no tracks on the floor, so it wasn’t an alternate track for the cart ride. I was curious why there would be the need for something like a service tunnel.”
She turned to the tunnel entrance and stared at it for a moment. Then she breathed out a long sigh.
“You brought flashlights, food, and sometimes rope and a knife,” she said, “This is probably where you were going.”
“Wait… so it probably is the exit of this island?” I asked.
“If you could call it that,” she replied, still staring toward the tunnel, “I like to think of it more as a reset button, because if you go in there, you’ll be washing up on the beach again in a couple days. Reset.”
“And I’ll remember none of this and do it again and again,” I said.
“Exactly,” she said, turning to me, “Only this time, I don’t want to remember any of it either. I’m done being hurt, Zane. I love you and I can’t keep doing this. If our theories are true, then this is going to keep on happening and there’s no way to leave our reset selves a message. Outside of one of us staying here and relaying every detail as I did yesterday, of course.”
“Then what do we do?” I asked, “Do we live in this imaginary world, spending the rest of our days with each other in paradise, or do we both risk leaving not quite knowing if we are going to return. And if we return… it could be another eighteen years of replays before you tell me what’s going on again.”
Colonization Page 6
